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-Mobile continuation from Xanga blog PinkyGuerrero
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-Personal blog for Janika Banks.
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Sunday, December 17, 2017

experience distortion

I started this hours ago and keep forgetting about it.

Today was the good kind of brain melt. I've been in partial shut down all day, which is kinda like my brain being a roomba, kinda just bumping around, actually getting things done but very randomly and not always coherently. Since I'm kind of cleaning off part of my hard drive, here, have some random screenshots. I'll start with last night's #latenightmovie.


I don't know why I'm such a packrat. I'm like a compulsive digital hoarder. I steel my will every once in awhile and dump a lot of stuff.


I still blame Mrs. M.


Whoever wrote that script is guilty of something in real life, I just know it.


Creating worlds is like an addiction. Seeding new single player world names and resetting the defaults makes me feel like a minecraft junkie. One of these days I'm going to wind up custom building something so ridiculous that I'll disappear and you guys will never see me again.


Yes, Gary Graham actually looked at a post in my Lexxperience group. This was awhile back. I don't know if anyone else really noticed, no one said anything. I think most people are pretty oblivious.


Oh, nothing *coughcough*. Just something off a stat tracker. Move along.


I feel so cool when I see this.


Seriously, cracks me up. What are the odds that this part of that post out of hundreds would wind up next to that stat number?


I keep saying I can see back yards. Satellite view and then google street view is pretty sweet. Please figure out how to use your proxies. Or not. I really don't care. I'm just a freakazoid who loves maps. Be aware, though, that it's pretty rare to get a real street address like this, and that once I do, I can look up the floor plans and value of your home, among other things. I mention once in awhile being able to 'see' people sitting in parking lots reading through post after post on one of my blogs. If I, a NON monetized blogger can see stuff like that just running a tracker, and timestamp your day out and even know where you work or go to school, which is really super rare nowadays, then YOU need to join the rest of us here in the future and realize how unprotected your tech and personal information are from fraud and possibly actual theft.


I think the biggest surprise I ran into this week was someone not knowing North Korea buzzed Japan again this month. That's a really good article, by the way. I think that timeline of developing nuclear potential is pretty spooky.

Wild gear change, if you aren't hip yet to the mandela effect, here's a quickie.


The only problem I have with this phenomenon is that they're blaming CERN. I've been bringing stuff like this up for YEARS.

Example- I had a fit one year about what I thought was a bible quote. Linus quoted a bible verse to Charlie Brown, and it's not even real. I could have sworn that was really there. This is from one of my Surveypalooza posts.
"I don’t know why I think I remember a bible verse about a prophet telling an evil king to go back to bed for another hour so his people can get some relief, but whatever it was impressed me when I was younger. I haven’t been able to find it, and when stuff like this happens it feels all Matrix-y, like something changed, and maybe I really do remember something because my brain didn’t completely readjust. Or like maybe time travel is real and people really do go back and change little things in history. I remember when I was a preteen crawling through the hay gathering eggs, was suddenly gripped with the weird thought that when I come back out, everything was changed, and I didn’t know who the president was. That was back in the 70′s, I had never seen any scifi like that, had never seen a Twilight Zone, etc. I have a cousin who experiences stuff like that, too, said one day in grade school he was terrified because the teacher handed him back a paper with a good grade on it, and he *knew* he didn’t do that work, and walking home after school through a vacant lot he freaked out about a tree being gone, and his sister said there was never a tree there. Either he and I drift through parallel lives, or things really do change, or we’re crazy, and my psychologist has assured me I’m not crazy. Anyway, it really bothers me that I can’t ever find that bible verse. If anyone else knows what I’m talking about, ~please~ put it in my comments. Otherwise I can only assume I’m on my way to early Alzheimer’s or something. :edit: 6-3-14 Someone reminded me that was Linus ‘quoting’ to Charlie Brown."
Ok, go try finding that quote now in any context. I can't even find Linus saying it. Good luck.

My personal point of view on experience distortion (I just coined that, don't know if it's a real thing, not seeing it used much) is that so many of us have actually been through it in some form without realizing it that a good half of our entertainment industry is actually (and quite comfortably) based on it. We so readily except the weird in our fiction that we expect it. If we lived in a universe where the weird couldn't ever happen at all, we wouldn't be able to conceive it in the first place to wonder about it. Our universe is wonderfully weird, and I love it.

One could argue it's our brains that are weird (and even faulty), and plenty of observation and research has gone into reality and perception and how our brains miss quite a lot going on around us (we aren't adapted to see infrared or hear higher and lower sounds than we do, for example), and time distortion is a real thing based on drug and med reactions and brain injuries, and of course there are memory jags and all kinds of stuff. I often feel like my brain runs too many diagnostics, because I get a bit of deja vu like it's on microsecond feedback loop, or like I even just felt a time break or jump or alteration, and I know from living in a brain like this that I can't count on my perceptions to be correct about reality around me. I have also seen false memories happen in other people during or after traumatic events, and it's really quite spooky to talk to them like that because they are otherwise perfectly sane and normal and you could never convince them something didn't happen that way when you actually have 2 other witnesses kind of thing. So I pretty much take everything with a few grains of salt, as it were. What gets really spooky is when a person has two memories of one event and can't tell which one is correct. I have a memory like that from my childhood.

So the whole mandela effect thing isn't CERN, and it's not new. This kind of stuff has been going on time out of mind, and thousands of years of humanity is so full of weird and creepy stories that it seems awfully lame to blame CERN.

What I HAVE noticed is that social media makes the whole reaction cascade go rabid very quickly. Before twitter and facebook, it just went in slower motion in email group shares and forums. Now that we can chatter real time with so many, it's like ignorance just explodes left and right, and logic gets drowned out very quickly in the madness and mayhem. How many times has some jerk posted that some celebrity died and they're not dead. But so many people share it so quickly that no one believes that person is actually still alive. We've become so death-obsessed that we can't seem to share quickly enough, to mourn hard enough, like it's all some big ocean current we get pulled into. Whether a person really died or not, that current pulls so many people under, and now I'm literally hearing from all sides that 2017 has been the worst year EVER. Even mental health professionals are saying this.

NOPE. I am several decades old, and we've definitely had worse years. We're all aging, we're all heading for death's door, and the rest of our lives will be spent watching out for who dies next. Really??? Guys, I was in high school when Elvis died. There are so many stories about how he's not dead, etc. And John Denver? Conspiracy theories galore, but the truth actually really was pilot error. So many brains get so swept up in the fervor of emotional tide that we collectively develop false memories. That's a real thing. WE ARE OUR OWN MANDELA EFFECT. Besides, Berenstain/Berenstein- I see so many typos everywhere I go, like on billboards, in newspapers, and it's common to see copyright ripoffs with slightly changed logos or names. That notwithstanding, I love that video up there and I'm going to check it out some more. I wish I lived in a place like that, where reality changes from room to room.

It's all fluid. All of our realities are always in motion. There is no 'truth' that we can prove beyond the shadow of a doubt, and there never has been. I hate to agree with Jim Carrey, but we really do make up what we think is truth in a universe we can barely even see. Aside from Plato's Allegory of the Cave (that just threaded every post I ever made here with the word Plato in it), I'm not sure we're smart enough to be discussing how smart we are.

I've otherwise been in a really quiet mood lately.

the Christmas blur of 2017

"Although toads, shrews, and mice may feed on JB adults or larvae, they have not been noted as an important factor in beetle control. Invertebrate Predators. Spiders, praying mantids, robber flies and soldier bugs have little effect on adult JB populations." From Japanese Beetle: The Continuing Struggle to Achieve Successful Biological Control

Guess what question popped into my head first thing waking up... +_=

Aside from this being the Asian Beetle Christmas of 2017, this month is flying by me so fast I'm barely cognizant of time passing at all. True to the blur flying around me, some of these might be a bit blurry.

Flat refusal to see Santa for the, what, third time? But very thrilled to pose with this coyote. PINKY APPROVES. Mama might make her go back, lol...


The last game of the season was my first to see, and I laughed so hard the entire game. I have got to make it to the next set of games in 2018. Watching tiny people mimic playing sports is the coolest thing since the puppy superbowl.


And of course this big grin is worth all the gold.


I haven't been keeping up very well with my Batman. I can't even begin to describe how hard this year has been on me watching them going through everything from Harvey to other really big stuff and feeling very helpless to be useful at all from this distance. Someone likes getting to sit in the front seat with Mom while they wait for school to open.


This instantly reminded me of the Symmetrical book stacking. Just like the Philadelphia mass turbulence of 1947, lol. I tried to sneak up on her, not realizing she was right there. They had a Santa Shop at school, which super excited her.


It's kind of the thing to medicate high energy kids into more submissive behavior. We don't medicate for neurodiversity in this house. It's draining, but there is no way we're squelching this amount of happy joy. One of the secrets of happy is simply being able to constantly move, at least for this one. Her mama was the same way. Some people naturally sit quietly (I'm one of those), some people naturally burst forth and conquer. This one is a direct descendent from Daniel Boone's brother. Imagine if the Boone clan had been the type to sit quietly. Half of the U.S. would never have been settled, lol.


I think we're all going down, might be having a sickie Christmas. Got the achy all over chest stuff coming on. Bunny sounds awful. Crossing my toes I don't get this.


Tuesday, December 12, 2017

superfans


Here are the holidays, yay! I'm on that holiday slide, keeping my arms and legs tucked in at all times while the blur goes by me in loops and gut wrenching drops, and somehow I'm still coherently available when needed. I'm otherwise wondering how nearly 2 weeks just went by me when September took a-EV-er, as Bunny says.


One of the things that saves holidays for many of us is all the new coming out. New toys, new gadgets, new movies. Lotta new. We need all this new before the Big Sad comes after the holidays, and suddenly it's taxes and payments and failing resolutions and a whole other year to watch deflate.


Some of us don't get into all that. I keep my inner world pretty flat. I watch people all around me go through bipolar swings that make my actual real diagnosed derp look like fluffball pancakes. I could have said rainbows and kittens, but I'm hungry, so you get pancakes. Anyway, holidays kinda do that, mass seasonal mood swings and most of us are in some kind of tandem.


Name it. Sports has Superbowl coming, and then March Madness. Entertainment has a slew of awards shows lining up after all the new movies come out for holidays. Mass inebriation, mass misdirection, mass brainlock, anything to keep us going. Some of us tune out (or never tune in), but many of us are locked into step on the medias, talking about the same things, kinda doing the same things, going through the ups and downs together.


Some of us in the background see all the things. We already know how to hang on. We sleuth through the days, lurk through the nights. We find all the things we ever wanted to know about players, celebrities, people we talk to on the medias. We're really good at digging up every stray word, picture, thought about whatever our obsession is.


My obsession is NOT Benedict. He's just a diversion. For me or for you, some of you wonder. lol


Superfans make a lot of what we find on the webs possible. They rabidly collect and sometimes channel for other fans. They tend to share what they love with the whole world. They are there with content in the long dark nights when no one else is up and you can't sleep. They give google and flipboard stuff to hand to you in search bars. They light up the night with stuff.


I am one of the superfans. True, I don't stir up content like I should on a more often basis, but I stick out the most in my fandom. Other superfans in other fandoms and I keep little eyes on each other. We watch each other's obsessions, we admire from afar, we notice details. Sometimes we lurk each other, possibly even casually bump into one another briefly somewhere. We're careful not to overstate our presence to one another, but we know each other knows we know they know we know, you know?


If you are having a hard time through holidays and very much need something new, possibly a very distracting distraction, I hang out on the Mo Creatures minecraft multiplayer server. I am Yablo there, and I like to build stuff and collect a few cool pets. It keeps me sane, it keeps my mind moving, and it keeps me interacting. You can be anonymous there and go kill crazy badass mobs, or peacefully fly around on a manticore enjoying your mod pack. You can say Hi, Yablo, and I'll say hello =).


Holidays are hard. Zone time is hard to find sometimes. Minecraft saves me from the pit of despair, the swamp of sadness, and the bog of eternal stench. If you are stuck in brainlock and need an escape, come find me. Let's play.

Thursday, December 7, 2017

ignoring the rowdy Saints watching party in the next room, like you do

click pic to get rickrolled, #bencongruity style
if you get lost, just come back to Pinky blog

play time
I pasted the code over from the last time I did this. I'm being lazy.


I think I'm bouncing back, just in time for the rest of the holidays, yay!


I'm taking it slow and still watching what I eat, but I'm already getting more done now than I was pre-surg.


I have been very surprised this last month, too, remembering past eps of certain shows that @bonenado has forgotten. It's usually the other way around. Some of the glitchy bumps are smoothing out.


Pinky blog got super spammed yesterday by auto-bots pinging off a travel blog in the U.S. and passing it off as Russia. Noob slammed me 94 times from one source like a piece of code was corrupted or something. Dork.


Of course, that's like issuing a challenge, sometimes I get spammed harder just for bringing it up. Whatevs. I could go into my analytics and block the address, but like I said, I'm lazy.


You know I'm really building a gingerbread house that all the crumbs are leading to, right.


Fake hits don't phase me any more. I'm cured.


Hang on a sec, I need to annoy a few people. I know right, like the last one wasn't annoying enough.


Ok, where was I. Oh, yeah, being lazy. I've run out of code paste without having to go get more or manually extend this, so see ya.