-Mobile continuation from Xanga blog PinkyGuerrero, this blog is PinkyGuerrero, ongoing continuation at blogs Pinky & Janika & Basically Clueless & PinkFeldspar, in that order.
-Most of the graphics and vids click to sources.
-Personal blog for Janika Banks.
 photo README2.gif

Translate

Wednesday, August 31, 2016

sad to see you go


Whadaya do when you find out a multiplayer server is about to be wiped for an upgrade? You put all your luxury blocks on display! I know, it's dorky and not the bigger deal it would have eventually been- a demonic temple of doom sitting on the platform over hell, under which the most terrifying of mobs howl around. Yes, emerald, diamond, lapis, iron, and gold blocks. Obsidian. All that redstone... Imagine it much taller with horns of fire spouting from pillars on the rooftop corners. This looks really bland compared to what I see in my head, more like the Golden Dragon restaurant in a town by me.


I've still got stacks of obsidian left. It's the black stuff, nearly unbreakable. I've also got enough redstone left to keep going way higher into a pointy tower if I want. I was originally picturing a sort of Eye of Sauron kind of thing. Maybe on the upgrade...


Plans going into the new server are to pummel a bunch of trees down as fast as I can before I go under, and then diagonally mine super way out under all the biomes until I get to some good ones without a bunch of building already going on. I can pop back out for food and more trees, but goal is to hoard materials in a stash bunker until I can claim my own land. One of the super mods that beta tested said the map is 90,000 square blocks, so plenty of room, and includes all the latest biome tweaks and new mobs and blocks and stuff.

Here is my last flyover vid.


I've got lots more, and I'm sad about losing my evil lair with my spider spawner conference room and movie theater and that cool mausoleum style house with the giant chessboard floor and the koch curve style chandelier that looks kind of hyperpolychoron-y when you walk under it, but those things can be recreated. I think my friend's tower is the awesomest, and I've got walk through vids and stills so it's not all lost. My pride and joy was networking an 8000+ block tunnel system connecting our far flung outposts and getting into village and temple restoration and preservation. If I had been on there for 4 years like a few other people, at least one of my villages would have developed into a fantastical spaceport complete with Jetsons and other futuristic stuffs. Really looking forward to growing rich and prolific on the upgrade.

Meanwhile, back to physical therapy. I missed one last week because stuff, kiddo got the all clear yesterday, so big reliefs and moving on, and me doing recovery and housekeeping for another big weekend. Might be Bunny's last swim weekend with Papa before the community pool gets drained for the winter, don't know yet if we'll cook out, but maybe I'll pick up some ribs and stuff just in case.

Been counting dimes making sure I can keep all my things going, and this year I put Lexx ahead of my own stuff financially, been a little tight. I've decided I need at least one more 5 subject spiral, need to line up my ducks and get super on top of my nickels the rest of the year if I want to keep my stuff floating. The holiday slide is upon us. If you're new to me, it's a Chutes and Ladders kind of lifestyle, where the entire autumn and winter season is like the depression roller coaster turning into a wild plunge ride down a crazy water slide or something, and you just hang on for dear life while all the pretty dazzle flies by and hope you don't drown at the end when you launch off New Year's and taxes are due. I was telling someone lately that a couple of years ago the govt tried to sue me for student loan default (after years of attempted compliance for loan forgiveness for complete disability- see Dear Gregory), and now we have to file injured spouse every year so that can't happen again, because our entire federal tax return was illegally garnished and we've never been able to get it back. THAT was going to pay our propane for the year. Really scraped pulling that money up, thanx govt.

Anyway, offence is the best defence, right? I try to prepare as much as I can way ahead of time, because I'm usually stressed out enough by mid October to start slipping, and by Thanksgiving I'm usually in full brain glitch. Last year was interesting because it didn't happen for the first time in more than a decade, but I launched back into glitchy mode when it all caught up with me around last Feb, and I've been hovering on a brink ever since, sometimes super with it and on top of all the things, sometimes batty as a fruitcake and people having to correct me. Just yesterday I mentioned the yogurt thing...


Here you go, back to school. Later, guys.

Tuesday, August 30, 2016

let those dastardly cosmic rays in, guys

:edit: 9-4-17 me and photobucket wrestling after a big update and blogger said NO. I guess I lost.

All right, all right, the last one amounted to click bait, I get it. Here you go, my actual thoughts-

 photo reallyhot.gif cosmic rays are getting us because solar flares are in their decline cycle

 photo littlelexxlogo.png I renewed LittleLexx.net registration and domain for another year, details here

 photo dryer.gif I am stripping my house this week for deep cleaning

 photo calvin_sneeze_zps68ad8009.gif allergies

General stumbling through sorting and organizing.


Kinda like this. Yes, I made this one back in my Bluejacky days. :edit: That pattern is my master bathroom floor linoleum, originally black and gray, colorized to blue.


Ok, this was better click bait, I hope. At least you know I did more than wake up this morning. Here you go, get your move on.



late for my boing

Wow, got 8 hours again last night. Why don't I feel pleased?

click that cranky face if you need major diversion *now*
Got the scoop on the new server yesterday, no more towny, warp stores will be all different, I'll need to learn golden protection. There are loads of land claim servers using this, so learning something new is good. Who knows if I'll ever get prolific enough to handle other servers, but I don't see that before the year is out.

I'm really liking the being able to push through slumps on this gabapentin. The amount of sleep I'm getting is still back and forth with the manic swings, few nights ago was 5 hours tops for a couple of nights, then 6, and all that without naps, so getting back to a full night is probably a good thing. I miss the surge of boing on euphoric weeks, but if it helps my pain level to sleep, then LET'S SLEEP, by gummies.

And that reminds me of a song. Later, taters.

Sunday, August 28, 2016

dropping a couple of chainsaws


Ah, autumn Sundays are back, that time of year when even the most expensive network router can't pull in enough juice across a state forest to handle both football and minecraft. Pinky blog it is, then. And yes, I'm aware that I'm procrastinating getting my team set up and the draft is in 3 days. I'll be there.

Last couple of days have been about finding out how much I can actually handle when I think I'm hitting walls. I've plowed down so many walls in the last 48 hours.

Lotta change coming.

1- MoC (naturally, bcuz server upgrade)
2- permanent work station for mobile office
3- fall syllabus (nearly set)
4- work priorities
 a) physical health
 b) mental health
 c) family health
 d) workout discipline
 e) writing discipline
 in that order.
5- social media

I've come to realize that in order for my entire Plan to remain go, I need to stay focused on my own stuff. I've written about this before, and over time I think I've done pretty well steering and navigating. Part of that is letting go of notifications. That does NOT mean letting go of friends. I'm not ignoring anyone, and still make my lurking rounds when I get free moments. Just keeping my balance. Aaaaaand losing internet. *trying to stay patient*

I'm not a big fan of circuses, but I do remember being enraptured by the Flying Wallendas, and I was a huge Gunther Gebel-Williams fan, who I've seen in live performance. I mention this because my life often feels like a 3-ring circus, as they say. I'm good at coordinating when need arises because I'm good at chucking my own stuff aside. Life flings stuff, I jump in and start dodging and flinging back. I may not be able to handle as much as I used to in some ways, but in other ways I handle so much more way more gracefully. Life is a big dance, all the things weaving in and out, and if you want to stay in the dance, you've gotta know when to step out for a breather and when to launch back in.

I say all this tongue firmly planted in cheek, because I used to get very emotional over every disturbance in the force and spent years learning how to adult without feeling frustrated all the time. Once I was diagnosed autism spectrum, all became clear, and I chillaxed. I am the way I am, and the way I deal is by consciously choosing to prioritize importance (yes, like a robot, lotta yes-no pathways filtering down to decision making), and last few years I'm getting better at this being human thing. It's a matter of juggling eggs and chainsaws and knowing when to let something drop. I don't have to keep #allthethings going all the time. I'm super hard on myself, and more of a perfectionist than my life actually looks, so this letting go thing is really hard, especially the #epicfail and #facepalm parts. Pinky blog has been a good float device through all the stuff.

I keep running into other writers blogging at length about how they do this or that to stimulate their writing, but they never talk about the real life behind it. Like, I'm writing in a coffee shop because the environment here is so conducive to mental energy (but I'm not mentioning the part about being so terribly lonely that I feel paralyzed at home by myself), or like writing about writer's block (omg, I so envy anyone who has a real desk that never gets disturbed by anyone other than a cat), or like lengthy prose about style vs rulz vs audience vs personal feelings about character development (plz to go water some tomatoes or something, you really need to get out of that chair), but I so rarely run into actual writers (aka people who call themselves writers) writing about REAL LIFE. (Please note that dumping emotions on a blog or the medias isn't the same as 'writing', just as stomping around or throwing things or banging heads against walls isn't the same thing as exercising.)

We all know what writing *is*- avoiding dealing with something else. Ultimately, writing isn't any different from reading or watching TV or gaming (distraction), but it's something we do alone. The difference is that we torture ourselves entertaining other people. Writing is a performance art. We can't help it, it's what we do, whether it's a hobby or compulsion or successful sales. Some of us pour our souls into words and then other people eat it up, just like artists pour their souls into visual or sound. Writing can get a little weird, sorta feeling like taking one's mental clothing off in a spotlight. Everyone has their own kind of pole dance, casual or formal, soft lighting or strobe, but it's still a 'look at me' thing (as is any form of art), and we don't have to apologize for expressing ourselves.

Keep in mind that expression is not the same as interaction. I put social media at the bottom of my change list. It is low priority right now, and may be for awhile. I'll still engage 'out there', and I still think social media is awesome, but some of you have watched me come through a very long year of psyche analysis. I think my share level needs to tighten up a little since sharing something privately wound up crossing medias into a public tag. I take responsibility for that, my bad. If I'm asking for discretion, then I need to be the one clamming up.

You guys know I'm home alone a LOT. I mentioned getting a cat to @bonenado. Foot down, absolutely not. This isn't negotiable, and I don't resent it. I'm allergic to dogs, I can't have chickens any more on this property, and we don't have free money to support any other kind of pet investment. We've been on a financial brink for several years, the kids have kids now, and I'm thrilled I have working tech way out here in Mirkwood, so this is more about me keeping myself occupied. Unfortunately, I don't seem to balance social media and work very well, so I'm still ironing out how to be public and go under at the same time.

I hear protesters saying "Yeah, but minecraft..." That game has done more good fixing glitchy brain pathways than anything else I've ever done since 2004. I have nothing but praise for a multiplayer server that brings together the physically disabled and the mentally ill and gives us a place to be part of group networks learning to work and play together in an environment that focuses us outward into creativity that requires planning and even strategy. I've discussed before how minecraft is helping my time and space orientation, which is crucial to me being able to continue driving and shopping in real life. Real life application is what makes minecraft top priority in that list up there.

And now it's getting me through a rough weekend. Kai and I are practicing survival in a personal realm, getting ready for the big sprint through the newly updated MoC server when it opens up. @bonenado is already calling it the Oklahoma land rush. We'll get in 'ground floor' and work our butts off building enough material wealth to warp trade into cash flow so we can stake a land claim. It's a big commitment and we'll be an awesome team. We hope a few moc friends at least jump back in to help us gain claim rights, even if they don't play much, but getting the main claim is the biggie.

You guys didn't see me getting up 20 times through all this to do stuff. And then walking off for awhile. Need to get this outa my way now. Quick, look over there!


Friday, August 26, 2016

motivator


The shock wave of the century went out yesterday afternoon in moc chat while I was playing, and did I call it or what? Their server will be upgrading sometime in the next couple of weeks and everything everyone has built on that server will be wiped out, so we're all racing around getting screen caps and vids. My obsessive screen shotting and vidding all along doesn't seem like a waste of time any more, does it? Some people have been building on there for several years and their stuff is fantastically creatively beautiful. Not one speck of it will be salvageable except in screen shots. However, I am very much looking forward to being among the new 'original' bunch starting fresh on the upgrade in a couple of weeks. Rumor whispered something about creative, but I hope it'll still be survival with certain mob controls.

Haven't been saying much, but I'm sure some of you correctly suspect that it's time for a nasty fibro flare on top of the super ragweed allergies this week. There's also some family stuff, so I'm mostly not even home lately. It was actually pretty wild that I happened to catch the first announcement about the server upgrade, because I had logged on to keep myself from laying down and falling asleep and was barely on for 20 minutes when I had to abruptly log off for this other thing going on, which I'd have missed if I had fallen to #napclub with my phone muted, just one of those really synchronous days.

This was my last big fun challenge on the existing moc. After this happened, I finished a tunnel system between several far flung outposts and was about to go under to network a couple more in, but I see no point in that now. In the upgrade I'll run into fossils, which will be cool. This vid is very short.


This video is horribly horribly well timed right now in too many ways. I'm not sure if you'll see me on the webs for a few days.

Thursday, August 25, 2016

Chaos 101

Back to basics. It all started with picking up a few spirals, some fun stickers, and a package of colored pens. And sox. I very slowly turned my life around and turned it inside out into something different.



And now it's really different, because not only was I successful, but the whole Bunny bomb came along a few months later, and the entire Plan turned into mobile office, yet still progressively growing.

It has grown into more than 40 spirals, at least 10 mini spirals, a solid preference for Pilot G-2 05 or 07 pens, and a wicked knowledge of novelty socks, which actually started years before during my retail phase.

I told psyche guy that I normally use the chaos and even enjoy the chaos, but lately I've been feeling like I'm drowning in it, more like losing control of the Plan and not really progressing (although the internet begs to differ in a few ways). Basically, I feel *stuck*. It has nothing to to with writer's block or not being able to keep up with the house (the chores have become very easy over the years), or even a lack of motivation (I'm still very strongly motivated). After a great big think over the last couple of months, it hit me that the problem is I dropped the Lists.

Lists are fine for the daily things, like shopping or getting a few things done around the house, maybe extracurricular like getting phone calls made and forms filled out, but one thing I learned from The Nerdist Way was to keep track of #allthethings, and I used to do it in a special spiral that finally couldn't handle all the spread, so I chucked it aside and kept moving.

There's no excuse, guys, this is getting dirt cheap. Not being compensated, just I love him.


So I thought back about how I used to keep track of what I did because back then I was so brain glitchy I actually had to. I'm not so glitchy now, but you know what? Maybe that's exactly what I need again, only on a much bigger scale this time.

So I picked up a 5 subject spiral from Walgreens with a few of my vast hoard of points, plus it was on sale, so sweet deal, and then I got a 3 subject spiral at Walmart later for el cheapo because back to school is close to finishing off, so I've got 8 sections I can use for logging, like a daily journal library.

In the olden days, I would make lists of things I wanted to do, like this or that for SyfyDesigns, or an idea I had for a certain blog, something techy I needed to go fix, and back then, having a few things like that written down gave me some direction to focus on, and when I needed the distraction, I'd go get something done. Usually each thing would take only a few minutes or maybe even an hour, and once it was done, I could write down that I'd done it in my 'done' spiral, which over time gave me loads of assurance that I really was getting a lot of stuff done, even though it felt like I was crawling along barely doing anything. And over time, all that showed up on the webs as 'presence', and I kept stumbling into ways to see what my 'net' worth is, if I may be so punny.

I need that back. In triplicate and quadruplicate. I need more than a puny spiral now. I'm running a ship with lots of different departments that need supervising, and I am the Overlord of my multiple domains. I can't smash all the things together any more, it's too chaotic.

Yep, you're guessing it. One section in the 8 subject sections will be SyfyDesigns, another section will be tech fix stuff, etc. First page of each section will be all the things that pop into my mind to maybe do in future, and pages after that will be logging when I've gotten it done, so I can look back through like a work log. It's more than a matter of ticking off a list now, it's keeping a sense of time flow and progress without losing sight of #allthethings.

He restarted his life with this, and look at him owning the world now. #NewtoWho (jumped the pond, guys) #TalkingDead (THE show to watch after the hottest zombie show ever) #Midnight (owns twitter), and that's barely even touching all the stuff he's done and still doing.

btw, caution on this vid, it's really gross.


So if anyone has a plan to get out of an anxiety-filled slump funk, it's this guy. And if anyone is a #spoonie #autismspectrum #depression survivor, it's me. I'm clawing my way out of my hellhole, albeit slowly, but ENOUGH OF THIS, WHERE IS SHERLOCK. I'VE GOT A TUNNEL SYSTEM TO FINISH ON MO CREATURES and other subtext ye know not of.

Wednesday, August 24, 2016

here and now and not fuzzing out


Conking out for 10 hours after one meets for consultation in a sleep study clinic isn't just irony, it's sorcery. >=l Pretty sure they sprinkled some kind of essence or dust on me when my back was turned. I think 10 hours is like a once in 5 years phenomenon for me.

That being said, I can barely move or think. Sorcery. It's like witch potion in minecraft.

I asked about and was told there are 2 main kinds of apnea, one does affect REM (vivid dream recall) and starts in the brain, so you can imagine I'm extremely curious to see whether they can catch that happening since I've been doing this since I was a small child with the dream recall, and going through entire years being terrified of sleeping, so I pushed my insomnia to the limits by remaining awake and alert at all costs even to the point of drinking other people under the table or being medicated out my eyeballs. This last couple of years are the first I've SLEPT consistently and fairly well in nearly my whole life.

That being said-

Last night I was an aging kitchen and laundry (it felt like) overseer in a large gentleman's Chinese brothel, and I'm not talking like in the movies. This was real grunge behind the scenes stuff, very realistic. I knew the entire building inside and out, I knew all the people who worked there, and even though I wasn't a boss, I was respected because I kept order.

But this evening there wasn't order. A recently gone famous pop artist had just walked into the restaurant area with his new very young model bride, and one of the slightly aging performers (background dancer/singer type) in really pretty costuming suddenly threw an absolute fit, screaming how could he, how could he turn to someone else after all the nasty kinds of sex he had made her do with him (during which she evidently must've fallen in love with him), and since I was walking through checking table setting perfection and closest to her, I walked up to where she was nearly now screaming in the pop star's face (everyone's eyes were really big, bad public behavior, bad taste, bad luck all around, no one had ever gunned the place up but didn't mean it wouldn't happen) and put my arm around her waist and then walked between them turning her around. I didn't even look at anyone else, just her like she was the only one in the world and guided her away sobbing, sweetly reminding her that we don't break the rules here, and it's ok if clients do what they want, got her escorted into another area and handed her off, all the while she's having this emotional breakdown and I knew she was ruined now, and they'd either kill her or finish breaking her for some other kind of work. The best I could do was remove her from my floor before I would get in trouble, too, just being in her vicinity.

And then I woke up.

My psychologist is concerned that I might have some kind of REM apnea. I'm concerned about a side article called Is Brain Injury in Obstructive Sleep Apnea Reversible? My worst brain fail came during 6 horrible weeks of NOT sleeping during the worst headache I ever had in my life (nothing shows up on CT or MRI), and then 'all' that happened was bell's palsy and all that got blown off. I've been recovering from particular function glitches ever since, like being able to do simple math. Incidentally, several brain scans over time have only ever showed natural aging. Absolutely nothing else. (:edit: Forgot about empty sella, but that was present at birth.) Since my mom had hundreds of TIAs before she started having the really big strokes (she was an insomniac, too), you can imagine my interest in all this.

Back to the dream! Srsly, another seemingly 'not me' experience out of the blue, like I was somewhere else being someone else with no other connection that I can see to real life, TV, minecraft, reading something, overhearing convos, nothing. I guess the experiment will be to 1- confirm REM disruption, 2- attempt to treat, 3- see if I stop remembering dreams. My sleep study is set up for October. Sadly, no one cares about studying whether I'm actually experiencing someone else in another time and place. We're supposed to stay in our own quantum localities, after all, right? It's not unusual for us to fuzz out and be somewhere else, apparently. The problem is tuning our brains back to ourselves. We need to be here and now. We need to learn to be holistically healthy individuals while we are here on this earth in these lives because we have things to do here and now that only we can do.

REM Sleep Behavior Disorder

Study: Interrupted Sleep May Be as Harmful as No Sleep at All

I've been able to go through deeper sleeping more in the last 2  years than in many years before, cumulatively speaking. I know it's possible for humans to survive severe sleep deprivation, because I've done it, but I'm a mess. However it started and whatever the underlying cause (brain wave disruption is the likeliest for long term, plus now probably aging into regular apnea), I have never been able to sleep normally like I'm supposed to, and because of that I've successfully learned other coping mechanisms, like positive imaging, self hypnotic meditation, free associating (very necessary to 'let go' so the brain can mimic the dream cycle while awake), lucid dreaming (different from free associating), stuff like that. But as I'm getting older, it's getting harder to control this so that I don't wind up 'spacing out' so hard like when I'm driving, because that's way too dangerous. I arrive places and have no memory of how I even got there, sometimes no clue what day it is or why I'm even there in the first place.

I have a feeling I'm not at all alone, and stuff like this could probably explain numerous traffic accidents that people have. Since I've already rolled a car and experienced the brutal pain and have spent my life recovering and in pain, I'm probably more aggressively alert than a lot of drivers out there, and I very seriously do NOT ever want to feel that kind of experience again, so I think my brain gets stuck in the hyper vigilant part of fight or flight, and that's probably where my anxiety attacks in traffic come from, major PTSD stuff.

Anyway, they splashed some kind of potion on me or something yesterday, and now it's taking me 2 hours already to deal with getting my brain on and my body flexible enough to do a few things. I really don't like sleeping hard...

Music like this helps. Sometimes it's about the only way to calm my mind down. I might play this on my phone at the sleep clinic while I'm going to sleep.

Tuesday, August 23, 2016

crossing all the streams


I dreamed Moffat pulled cinema into interactive minecraft and something bad happened, because it spilled out into the world and got away like a weird quantum virus, and next thing you know, the whole world was one giant story he created that was continually shifting around because it was all blocks now and people could just click to recreate their homes and mobs were running loose killing people (who weren't respawning) and celebrities everywhere you turned were trying to act out movies while blocks recreated into sets around them...

I saw hell, and it saw me, and then I woke up.

All this crossover stuff would make V'Ger explode. Here, I pulled a tweet apart for you. First snip clicks back to twitter, the pix click back to tumblr source given in the tweet.





Please don't misunderstand me, I think Moffat is the coolest genius on the planet. He broke through and wrote stories the entire world watches (idolizes, cosplays, fanfics and blogs, parodies, and a jillion recaps and reviews), which is about as top of the mountain as it gets for writers. On a writer spectrum, Moffat is above Stephen King, because he produces his own material and sells it himself. He may not be as rich as J.K. Rowling or have a Disney theme park for one of his creations, but he's certainly more prolific creating world interactive entertainment, in a shorter amount of time, I might add. George Lucas has a slipping tentative grasp on the future he created, Moffat is created futures that could easily cross all the entertainment streams, if I may be so bold. No one tops Star Trek, of course, but plug Captain Kirk meets Doctor Who into a search bar and see what you think. Here's what Moffat--> thinks about it.

I've got way too much stuff to do today to keep rambling around, so see ya.

Monday, August 22, 2016

malfunction

Minecraft. My entire weekend was a Mo Creatures marathon. I learned how to cinfo on chests and doors to find out who made them and then check player stats to see if they're still active. We also spent some time pushing a flying horse off someone else's land, since once you dismount you can't put the pet back into an amulet or get it onto a leash on land that is otherwise claimed. I'd never been there before and it was very beautiful work, so I'll be going back soon to really look it over. Basically, this is one of my neighbors next to the huge abandoned castle I'm currently bunking down in. This building is just a tiny part of the experience. I love running around other people's work, it's like being able to run around inside paintings, and ultimately, other people's heads.


Among other things, I collected all my movable wealth and organized it to a more centralized location, mapped out all my bunkers and villages, and I'm now connecting them all with tunnels. Remember back in May when I attempted to tunnel underneath the world to 0,0? Well, that's small potatoes now. If we ever need to let outposts go, I'll have my tunnel system, to get back to them without having to fly or parkour over, and eventually I'll have a bridge up over one of the oceans. Other people can build their beautiful towns and join their nations, I'll be quietly networking far flung regions and reaping the wealth of all the wildernesses in between.

No idea. It's not even slowing down. I've gone over all my sources, all I know is that Pinky dotcom is getting slammed, and there is no indication which content curator bots might possibly be involved, so hello new people clicking here from somewhere, and here is your #MondayMotivation. That's right, a pink Kai. There's also a blue one. Click to see and possibly purchase more artwork.


This is my new fave video. I keep telling you guys you're not alone. We're not alone.

Saturday, August 20, 2016

Pinky Robot

This Pinky blog will be 2 years old in 3 days. Pinky blog originally came from Pinky Robot blog, which suffered a server migration.


And that blog actually started after this- Are you a robot? For some reason, that question was like a little snowball that eventually avalanched my whole mountain down. See what happens when you put 'pinky robot Janika Banks' into a search bar... She never knew me as Pinky Robot.

10 1/2 months after I first ripped open about Pinky Robot in hybrid- how robots go on, I finally got the courage to put her name and city into a search bar. I was thankful to find this post, because it was such a relief seeing how I felt already worded out so I wouldn't have to. I know that sounds weird coming from someone who writes nonstop, but seriously.
How The New Mexican Government And Prison System Failed Its People

As I ripped open, starting a little over a year ago, my blog hits doubled, and then tripled, and lately I've let it slide back down a lot because I found a lot of my answers and got busy playing on minecraft. Despite this being my slowest month so far since March 2015, this is what my stats look like right now. No, I have no idea why, nothing obvious is standing out in referrals and other incoming like bots in my past have. I'm going to guess it has something to do with the Olympics though, because the majority are going straight to dotcom page instead of posts, probably from bio links on twitter and facebook.


And the reason I say Olympics is because alla sudden I've got all these countries showing up in stats this last week (blogger only shows top ten in any list)


and month


and I had that big tweet on the 5th that's still pulling in impressions


and pages like this showing up in my referrals lately. I'm going to guess my tweet got pulled into content curation or something. The page wouldn't translate for me, you can click that and try if you want.



And while I'm in stats, let's see what you all look like.

Top browsers this month-


Top operating systems this month-


This is usually what I see in visiting countries because of Lexx, Merlin, Sherlock, and other fandoms.


This referral cracked me up. Don't worry, it didn't tell me who you are, it's just I don't usually see it announced like that.


It's been a very long week, and I know some of you guys probably still think all I ever do is twitter and facebook and minecraft and then TV when Scott gets home from work, but I actually do read once in awhile, and today I got lost in some really cool write-ups about labyrinths throughout human history around the world, including Going Around in Circles: The Labyrinths of Theosophy. "The pattern of the classical labyrinth looks like the brain, and walking it is a dance with the forces of the universe. Just as in life, the goal is to reach the central source, but the path to it takes one close and far away by turns, until finally, the center is attained. At this point, the seeker realizes that his journey is only half done, for now he must dance the energy of the source back out to the world." Plus a lot of other good paragraphs. If you'd like an easier version, try The Labyrinth: A Brief Introduction to its History, Meaning and Use.

Social media is my labyrinth. I meander in an out, sometimes walking with others, sometimes walking by them going other directions. Sometimes I am silent and contemplative, sometimes I am moved as I move.

I'm not sure if I'll be posting again real soon or not. I have a minecraft date in the morning, and Tuesday is 2 appointments, psyche guy and sleep study consultation. Tomorrow around noonish my scheduled Autisable post goes live again. Several of my original Bluejacky posts are starting to show up on my new Autisable blog, and you can see they go back 7 years. I forgot I even wrote this one 5 years ago- Psyching Up – Becoming Liberated. I was one of my psychologist's very first adult autism spectrum patients. We both hung in there, and I've come to trust him completely as one of my most solid relationships. I'm not sure yet what kind of new material I'll be submitting, but blogging has definitely helped me communicate better when it comes time for more one on one with my psychologist. It's like getting all my thoughts rounded up and weeded out first.

Bluejacky, Pinky Robot, Aspienado... All my ways of dealing.

Ok, I need to escape this post and move on. THIS. Out just today and going viral.



Flash Coffee


That comes from a neat tiny little blog post by a big Central City fan from way back in 2011. Click the big red circle to check it out.


And that comes from a nearly 2 year old spoiler post full of behind the scenes pix. I'm loving that cup looking so Flash-y.

Yesterday was a big boof in my cosmos, and I just kept my head in MoC. First, I got super distracted with trying to do 3 things during a phone call that came in earlier than usual and couldn't tell or remember if I'd taken my noon gabapentin, so had to call the pharmacy and make sure I could skip it. I've been so notorious for med dosing problems that I have tiny spirals going back several years filled with daily dose log times, and even with that, I have to go through a very specific routine taking whatever med and logging it or I won't remember if I really took it or not, and that can get pretty dangerous with some meds. (I ask my brain if I took something, it says Which day? I got years of taking that twice a day...) I once doubled my blood pressure pill and then was pure goofball in traffic because bradycardia for the first time EVER in my whole life, which actually got caught on a holter, so that was a big wake up call because I'd been driving around being really weird in traffic. You wanna know why some wrecks happen? People probably do just that. And if you think about it, sometimes they do that on top of other meds and even alcohol or something else, so watch out for those goofballs out there. (This might explain some of the cars not stopping on the bus driver vid I shared on facebook yesterday, but that's me being generous and assuming not all those people were dicks on purpose.)

So I missed a gabapentin dose, pharm said no prob, just skip, I'm all thumbs up, and by the time I finally took it my head was wonky super headache coming on, and the relief was so real so fast that I got a good heads up why I'll never leave home without that bottle of pills on me now, and I guess it's time to get the bracelet saying I'm on it since I'm still tolerating it so well. Yes, that med needs a bracelet, very important bcuz super brain probs if I'm ever in a situation where I can't speak for myself.

Yes, there is a second, and that was my phone. I don't know what the what, but I can't call an 800# out without it going all spammy and randomly taking me to numbers trying to sell me something (like phone bot spam or something) instead of customer service with a specific company, and then after 3 attempts I suddenly got the YOUR PHONE HAS BEEN DEACTIVATED in my ear. Boink it, went back to MoC.

I spent the day yesterday pulling much of my scattered wealth together. I've got 12 places I can tp to between town spawn, store warp, 7 outposts, and 3 'homes', plus I run to other places I have close by (I consider crossing only one ocean 'close by'), and I've been working on how to let go of one of the homes so I can re-home to my new place in the castle. It involved a lot of flying and mapping coordinates and moving loads of stuff out of scattered chests to more centralized locations. I do a lot of wilderness work and I'm getting super rich doing it, although most of my visible wealth goes into town deposit and whole chests full of luxury blocks. I think I've actually used more bulk obsidian than anyone else playing that server.

This is much shorter than the last couple of vids, thank goodness. Key items are noticing a giant golem (the kind that tears everything up building itself before it explodes) can't seem to tear apart town property at all like it did my village, and then I discovered I was in Alien's (supermod) township, so I had to check that out from a distance (I had no idea the unclaimed castle I discovered was practically next door), and then as I was using coordinates to sprint back to my place, around 4:15 in I got total proof of spontaneous aggressive mob spawn (spawntaneous, lol) in broad daylight. I counted 3 witches, 2 wolves, and a couple things on fire that could've been zombies and/or skeletons, and I *think* maybe a winged bat horse, so all those times I told a couple friends I was suddenly plunging through 7 mobs all at once- vindicated. I think they think I'm a little crazy exaggerating sometimes, but I really do get some weird stuff all over me on MoC. And then after that I find my way into the castle to my new digs. Btw, this cover pic on this vid is NOT either one of ours.


Thursday, August 18, 2016

My top best tweets according to favstar

These all click back to original source. They move around a bit, so this is an 'as of this moment' kind of thing. Yes, I'm distracting myself because nothing else is working. Carry on.

1. 12 days ago


2. 131 days ago (still facepalming over not saying hit the button or thrown the switch)


3. 881 days ago


4. 920 days ago


5. 460 days ago


6. 920 days ago


7. 784 days ago


8. 152 days ago


9. 967 days ago


10. 661 days ago (extra points if you heard Randy Marsh go 'ahhhh' after that, bonus points if you visualized him kneeling)


11. 88 days ago (you see why I couldn't stop at 10...) (inside joke, pond of death stuff)


12. 460 days ago (I know there are ppl who've gotten way more out of this pic, but I was probably the first to hashtag it, nyahnyah)


13. 906 days ago


14. 899 days ago


15. 930 days ago


16. 385 days ago


17. 1013 days ago (I didn't mind a bit that Bonnie Burton quote ripped this and stole my tiny thunder because Jeri Ryan replied to a tweet with my name in it)


18. 102 days ago


I've gotta stop there, I can barely focus on toggling any more, much less sizing and correct linking.

Ok, if you don't have twitter (and even if you do), Favstar looks like a big waste of time. It has its own wild bunch of super tweeters and it's a really big deal if a favstar user actually follows you. Most of the favstar bunch higher on the food chain get fantastic numbers on their best stuff, and a lot of them bring originality and wit that I could never aspire to. It's like a game of intellect. The really cool thing about Favstar, though, is that it will let you do something extremely difficult to do with any other twitter tools or filters, and that's find your oldest tweets. I originally downloaded my twitter log to be able to see them, but when I discovered Favstar automatically takes you right to them as part of its subscription service, I was hooked. Why, you ask, because expensive. Yeah, but you can also see everyone else's oldest tweets, too. Wanna see the your friends at their noobiest? Plenty of facepalm out there, and it's all findable with Favstar.

I receive no compensation from Favstar to say any of that, and I'm probably horribly misrepresenting their sales tagline, so I don't in any way speak for Favstar. I just really like it and it was a good distraction today. And it's fun comparing it to twitter analytics. For instance, this currently ranks 31st on Favstar


and this ranks 36, but this was from before twitter analytics, so I never see it there. Favstar is pretty much the root of twitter analytics without all those silly impressions in the way.


I'm not good at viral tweets, and I have friends who regularly score higher just having convos, so what I did here is nothing to brag about, but perhaps it's my morbid little way of saying "I was here".

I'm in total brain fry now, so I may not come back for awhile. I'm hoping I can sleep or something.