Hopefully from here there's nowhere to go but up. Crack of dawn is always the coldest. Check this windchill. We are officially colder than Antarctica. Saw that roll through on my local weather on facebook.
Really thought my stats would calm down after I privatized my facebook feed 9 days ago, since facebook was my strongest traffic driver, but apparently that didn't deter anyone. And doing that definitely nailed down a solid steady number of notification hits, because I thought maybe those were extra pings from facebook redundancy 'safety' settings, but apparently not. Whoever you are, I'm holding up my coffee cup to you. I am now able to look at a naked core readership before I even link outside of the bloggersphere.
Okie doke, where were we. I happily jogged down a weird path this week while I let my head settle around real life, and I kinda need to bullet point and catch up.
MRI came back, confirmed the usual aging spine thing with a new twist, cervial hemangioma shows up in report now. No idea if it's just better reporting for something there all along or if it's new, but it is 'unremarkable'. Probably something they'll just keep an eye on...
Laying super still on a hard, flat MRI bed for 40 straight minutes was stupid hard on me over the weekend, between bodywide fibro flare and nerve compression was almost unable to walk for a few hours on Saturday, but thankfully coming back out of that.
Everyone around me keeps getting sick the last 2 months. I haven't yet been really sick like that. Hope I didn't just jinx myself. But if this is real, I've been sticking to raw cruciferous in salads, buncha cooked cruciferous like caramelized brussels sprouts with aged balsamic and parm, yogurt, and chicken. Little bit of cheese and occasional microwaved nachos in small portions. Lotta water. I don't drink anything else but coffee in the morning and a cup of tea in the evening. If diet has an effect on positive immune health, that's what's doing it for me. Stop eating your candy and ice cream and get off the cigs and booze, guys. I'm the puny one and here I am not sick.
My new 3x3 daily/weekly/monthly personal/home/internet chart is working really well. Syllabus doesn't seem to be doing it for me this winter, so I'm doing chart, ticcing off as I go. Tic chart, guys. In the 3rd grade I got gold, silver, blue, or red stars on a weekly chart for how fast I timed on a multiplication test. (A 'times' test.) In 5th grade I got a circle for every book I read to add to a bookworm. I had the second longest bookworm in the class, went around 3 walls. Charts are fun, but a lot of work to make. I use one sheet in a notebook. Upper third is a list for monthly, just need to see one tic beside each item. Middle third is a list for weekly and I divided into five sections across for all the weeks in the month, each section needs to have one tic in it for each item. Lower third is a list of daily stuff I do, and I don't bother ticcing it. I mostly do it anyway. It's there to remind me to stay on track. Concise, contained, at a glance. Each month I'll make a new page, and I can compare how I do to the months before.
I've been allowed to take over twitter duties for my fave minecraft server, now that I'm part of staff. I think it's a great way to divert off the twitter mess and pull a tight focus on something I love.
I need more squirrels in here.
I created a new playlist for positive vibes, to borrow a word from a friend. Music and visuals that calm the mind, as it were. I do this a lot and you guys never see it because I don't share that part of me that goes really deep into the quiet so I can float out of myself. I had a hard time sifting through and sorting out all my Pinky junk the last few years, and I feel like the best direction to go this year is just ignore the F* out of everybody, you know? Be me. Float away in bliss and enjoy my moments. I seem to have arrived to a new place, and I'm ready to take better baggage with me going forward. It's really hard to brain train into calm with chaos and challenge all around, but it's totally worth it. Let's see what I can find this year. :edit: Sorry, didn't realize I had this playlist on private, lol.
(I'm not talking about Benedict or Lexx fans. I can see you, too. Hi.) I can see the (likely abandoned) blog the pings pretend not to come from, so I know they're 'fake', except that the pings are manually tweaked every few days, which I've gotten used to and hardly care about any more. One tracker sees the ping part, the other tracker see the actual incoming just before the pings get tweaked again. Someone stays in some fancy places making money off code ripping. I don't want to just blow off other countries like this site suggests since I have real people using search engines showing up and then actually using tags (and I'm able to compare all the stuff I see to fandom blogging, where the readership is worldwide), but again, this has been ridiculously overdone on little ol' Pinky blog. The target pings have been a bit too specific to just blow off.
Do I care? Why would I care? Should I care? I've known all this stuff that I write in my posts for a very long time, a lot of info (aka conspiracy) has gone public now, pretty sure the world has been dredged like a fine flour in brain training going out of control long before media moguls got a good grip on it, and I'm also pretty sure that 'programming' continues through entertainment and 'free' sources through social medias, like youtube accounts going viral. Get a mental picture fixed in several million minds, set the rumor mill in motion, plant seeds and watch them sprout across vast mind fields around the globe. Why are weirdly specific hits still coming in on a really old post that says No, I'm not telling you last night's dream. But it was very weird. It was like the world was becoming synchronized and everyone was being channeled into their favorite drugs and religions and then grouped up for strange mental exercises that broke down their safety barriers (killed the red flags and warning whistles going off in their heads) until everyone was happily wasted and cooperating like drones doing things they'd have resisted doing otherwise.
This has been going on since civilization began, so who even cares?
The ones who want to win care. I want to be on the winner's side. I want to slide into victory and not be culled. Call me shameless, but I've been alluding to that throughout this entire blog.
I've never named who I think or hope the victor might be. I probably wasn't the first to point out that one of the world stage players actually branded themselves into a unique lifestyle that anyone can now voluntarily contract into in exchange for services, although I never saw anyone else say it. That single post on 11-12-16 was what started all this mess on my blog, and that one experimental word (logo) has kept my stats off the hook ever since, to the point of making that post private for awhile trying to make it stop. (I'm neither monetized nor professionally published at this point). My only tags on that post were 'blogging' and 'stats' and I didn't try pushing the link anywhere. I wrote that this bunch was branding months before their official website ever went live, before the rest of the world seemed to even think of that as far as I could tell, and now we have this announcement.
For naysayers, there are a lot of people making really big money behind all kinds of curtains in entertainment, and if someone spams me 94 times on specific blog posts from another country about it, yeah, kinda gets my attention. I'm not alone. And this isn't a singular incident by far.
The fastest way to agenda transparency is to fictionalize it.
Now pay attention to this.
And now we're live tweeting in big groups, sometimes people over the entire world all at the same time. Our emotions spike and plunge for an hour together like an exhausting roller coaster, and while it's brilliant fun and I love how witty some of the viewers can be, it's very telling how easily people are massed controlled.
Um, ok, who volunteers for that kind of testing...
The people who invented margarine wouldn't allow their families to eat it, either. They said stick to butter. Didn't mean to pun that.
Hard veer grinding our gears, what do you guys think about V2K and our phone apps letting us know they'll need permission to access anything at any time? It's smoothly covered by actually interacting, like people asking their phones for info, but I've seen my phone pop on to 'listening' several times over the last month and had to be manually shut back off. This phone is over 2 years old and that never happened before this last month. I've never used that particular app on purpose, but apparently it can randomly just come on now all by itself without me even being near my phone. This stuff is not new. Why now?
Those of you who still go nah, that's just fiction really need to wake up. Weapons based on radio waves - electromagnetic weapons Or don't wake up, I don't care. I'm not saying live in fear or anything, because we've already been immersed in this stuff for years and most of you never knew it anyway, but you need to understand that transparency through fiction means you've already been told. Why make up such extravagant fiction? Why tell the same kinds of stories over and over and over in so many fiction shows and books and comics? Why is it so important to establish that governments have secret agents who may or may not be hunted or celebrities on the side or disappearing or fighting for their lives? Why is this such a huge thing that takes up so much of our entertainment programming?
I wrote this 3 years ago this month- bioelectricity- evidence that we are someone else's Sims, and this a little over 2 years ago- what if we're all social plug-ins We humans and all kinds of other life on this planet are extremely susceptible to electromagnetic change of any kind, even if it's just on a cellular level and we are not consciously aware of it. Elon Musk went viral about our world possibly being a simulation last year. Odds are we're living in a simulation, says Elon Musk While people freaked out about that, I was wondering how in the world he was so late to the game even saying it? Why didn't he speak up sooner? Because that was already old stuff.
Basically, the info is out there, and it's still very easily accessible for now. Internet regulations are recently changing, other stuff I've pointed out in past posts have changed while we were having holiday, all it would take is a dirty nuke from North Korea to take down the grid and our instant access to information, and who knows if youtube will become super tied down with more stringent policing regulation going forward. There's no excuse not to be knowing this stuff. Y'all can act all surprised, indignant, enraged, and terrified all you want when the shoes start dropping and things change more than you expected, but it's all out there.
I could slide through a whole other thing about the orchestration of internet addiction disorder (former Facebook CEOs have apologized in interviews posted on youtube, stating they knew what they were doing getting user psychologically dependent on the feedback loops), but I need to let it go for now.
I started this hours ago and keep forgetting about it.
Today was the good kind of brain melt. I've been in partial shut down all day, which is kinda like my brain being a roomba, kinda just bumping around, actually getting things done but very randomly and not always coherently. Since I'm kind of cleaning off part of my hard drive, here, have some random screenshots. I'll start with last night's #latenightmovie.
I don't know why I'm such a packrat. I'm like a compulsive digital hoarder. I steel my will every once in awhile and dump a lot of stuff.
I still blame Mrs. M.
Whoever wrote that script is guilty of something in real life, I just know it.
Creating worlds is like an addiction. Seeding new single player world names and resetting the defaults makes me feel like a minecraft junkie. One of these days I'm going to wind up custom building something so ridiculous that I'll disappear and you guys will never see me again.
Yes, Gary Graham actually looked at a post in my Lexxperience group. This was awhile back. I don't know if anyone else really noticed, no one said anything. I think most people are pretty oblivious.
Oh, nothing *coughcough*. Just something off a stat tracker. Move along.
I feel so cool when I see this.
Seriously, cracks me up. What are the odds that this part of that post out of hundreds would wind up next to that stat number?
I keep saying I can see back yards. Satellite view and then google street view is pretty sweet. Please figure out how to use your proxies. Or not. I really don't care. I'm just a freakazoid who loves maps. Be aware, though, that it's pretty rare to get a real street address like this, and that once I do, I can look up the floor plans and value of your home, among other things. I mention once in awhile being able to 'see' people sitting in parking lots reading through post after post on one of my blogs. If I, a NON monetized blogger can see stuff like that just running a tracker, and timestamp your day out and even know where you work or go to school, which is really super rare nowadays, then YOU need to join the rest of us here in the future and realize how unprotected your tech and personal information are from fraud and possibly actual theft.
I think the biggest surprise I ran into this week was someone not knowing North Korea buzzed Japan again this month. That's a really good article, by the way. I think that timeline of developing nuclear potential is pretty spooky.
Wild gear change, if you aren't hip yet to the mandela effect, here's a quickie.
The only problem I have with this phenomenon is that they're blaming CERN. I've been bringing stuff like this up for YEARS.
Example- I had a fit one year about what I thought was a bible quote. Linus quoted a bible verse to Charlie Brown, and it's not even real. I could have sworn that was really there. This is from one of my Surveypalooza posts. "I don’t know why I think I remember a bible verse about a prophet telling an evil king to go back to bed for another hour so his people can get some relief, but whatever it was impressed me when I was younger. I haven’t been able to find it, and when stuff like this happens it feels all Matrix-y, like something changed, and maybe I really do remember something because my brain didn’t completely readjust. Or like maybe time travel is real and people really do go back and change little things in history. I remember when I was a preteen crawling through the hay gathering eggs, was suddenly gripped with the weird thought that when I come back out, everything was changed, and I didn’t know who the president was. That was back in the 70′s, I had never seen any scifi like that, had never seen a Twilight Zone, etc. I have a cousin who experiences stuff like that, too, said one day in grade school he was terrified because the teacher handed him back a paper with a good grade on it, and he *knew* he didn’t do that work, and walking home after school through a vacant lot he freaked out about a tree being gone, and his sister said there was never a tree there. Either he and I drift through parallel lives, or things really do change, or we’re crazy, and my psychologist has assured me I’m not crazy. Anyway, it really bothers me that I can’t ever find that bible verse. If anyone else knows what I’m talking about, ~please~ put it in my comments. Otherwise I can only assume I’m on my way to early Alzheimer’s or something. :edit: 6-3-14 Someone reminded me that was Linus ‘quoting’ to Charlie Brown."
Ok, go try finding that quote now in any context. I can't even find Linus saying it. Good luck.
My personal point of view on experience distortion (I just coined that, don't know if it's a real thing, not seeing it used much) is that so many of us have actually been through it in some form without realizing it that a good half of our entertainment industry is actually (and quite comfortably) based on it. We so readily except the weird in our fiction that we expect it. If we lived in a universe where the weird couldn't ever happen at all, we wouldn't be able to conceive it in the first place to wonder about it. Our universe is wonderfully weird, and I love it.
One could argue it's our brains that are weird (and even faulty), and plenty of observation and research has gone into reality and perception and how our brains miss quite a lot going on around us (we aren't adapted to see infrared or hear higher and lower sounds than we do, for example), and time distortion is a real thing based on drug and med reactions and brain injuries, and of course there are memory jags and all kinds of stuff. I often feel like my brain runs too many diagnostics, because I get a bit of deja vu like it's on microsecond feedback loop, or like I even just felt a time break or jump or alteration, and I know from living in a brain like this that I can't count on my perceptions to be correct about reality around me. I have also seen false memories happen in other people during or after traumatic events, and it's really quite spooky to talk to them like that because they are otherwise perfectly sane and normal and you could never convince them something didn't happen that way when you actually have 2 other witnesses kind of thing. So I pretty much take everything with a few grains of salt, as it were. What gets really spooky is when a person has two memories of one event and can't tell which one is correct. I have a memory like that from my childhood.
So the whole mandela effect thing isn't CERN, and it's not new. This kind of stuff has been going on time out of mind, and thousands of years of humanity is so full of weird and creepy stories that it seems awfully lame to blame CERN.
What I HAVE noticed is that social media makes the whole reaction cascade go rabid very quickly. Before twitter and facebook, it just went in slower motion in email group shares and forums. Now that we can chatter real time with so many, it's like ignorance just explodes left and right, and logic gets drowned out very quickly in the madness and mayhem. How many times has some jerk posted that some celebrity died and they're not dead. But so many people share it so quickly that no one believes that person is actually still alive. We've become so death-obsessed that we can't seem to share quickly enough, to mourn hard enough, like it's all some big ocean current we get pulled into. Whether a person really died or not, that current pulls so many people under, and now I'm literally hearing from all sides that 2017 has been the worst year EVER. Even mental health professionals are saying this.
NOPE. I am several decades old, and we've definitely had worse years. We're all aging, we're all heading for death's door, and the rest of our lives will be spent watching out for who dies next. Really??? Guys, I was in high school when Elvis died. There are so many stories about how he's not dead, etc. And John Denver? Conspiracy theories galore, but the truth actually really was pilot error. So many brains get so swept up in the fervor of emotional tide that we collectively develop false memories. That's a real thing. WE ARE OUR OWN MANDELA EFFECT. Besides, Berenstain/Berenstein- I see so many typos everywhere I go, like on billboards, in newspapers, and it's common to see copyright ripoffs with slightly changed logos or names. That notwithstanding, I love that video up there and I'm going to check it out some more. I wish I lived in a place like that, where reality changes from room to room.
It's all fluid. All of our realities are always in motion. There is no 'truth' that we can prove beyond the shadow of a doubt, and there never has been. I hate to agree with Jim Carrey, but we really do make up what we think is truth in a universe we can barely even see. Aside from Plato's Allegory of the Cave (that just threaded every post I ever made here with the word Plato in it), I'm not sure we're smart enough to be discussing how smart we are.
I've otherwise been in a really quiet mood lately.
So I'm looking at this movie reviewer's all-time stats since 2014 after reviewing 1,078 films (no one any of you guys know, but I found his Lexx review), and the only stats he has is about actual content, like 35 countries the movies he's seen were made in. As far as I can tell, the goal is to tic off as many movies as he can from several different lists, like IMDb top 250 and Oscar Best Picture Winners kind of thing, and in 3 years he has spent 1,847 hours watching these films so he can write little paragraphs and tic lists. That's his stats.
I, on the other hand, have no idea how many movies I've seen, how many directors I've gotten to know through their work, how many hours I've spent watching any particular thing or even all the things, but I can see that the thread with yesterday's review commentary that I put on SyfyDesigns.com has over 4300 views on it, that my Walking Dead think piece has over 13K now, and that my James T. Kirk homage now has over 17K. I can't really see where they're coming from, like I sometimes can on a couple of my own blogs. Today I got a street view of someone's house from stats on one of my other blogs, but that's really rare, and don't worry, I still don't have a clue who it really is.
We all do what we love, play the games that keep us going on this little blue planet. Whatever keeps turning this earth for us, right?
Every year I assess where I'm at, check it against how far I've come, and make a plan about how to continue. "The way forward is sometimes the way back."
I dreamed the other night that someone gently kissed me and told me to keep going. I won't say who, but it was extremely significant because it's not someone I'd ever have thought of on purpose, but definitely someone significant. I think I was being told to turn back to my original direction, the one direction that has always held true for me.
I have wanted to quit so. many. times.
I'm still not going to say who it was, but I will say that direction did hold true when all else was failing me this year. It's been a very hard year to stay focused and keep any kind of direction. Despite my facepalm super fail feels most of the year, reader spikes doubled and I pretty much just fell to my knees and onto my face wondering how stuff like that even happens.
I didn't know what to do with it, so I came this close to abandoning Pinky blog till the numbers dropped back to some semblance of normal, which took about 4 months. I thought about going after bigger tracking systems and roundly vetoed that with a few metaphorical slaps to my own face, and jumped clear into a tuck and roll while the stats thundered by, then peeked out of the bushes a bit after it kinda died back down. It's bad enough that I obsess over maps, and worse (or a blessing???) that my life has been upside down for the last 8 months. Time to walk away and not look at the numbers.
Best move I ever made. Got my breath, felt my brain start to purr again, tossed a little catnip out for it, and watched it start pouncing again. That felt really good.
So here we are, a 4 year old zooming around me
several blurs later, I finally got her to be still...
and @bonenado's show on the TV and the phone ringing and mama coming home any minute now and the next 2 hours of wonderful chaos reigning with a Christmas tree in the background behind my messy floors and dishes piling up on the counter.
I consider myself very lucky. I also think about my mom a lot. I wasn't shiftless or anything, because I worked hard, but I was selfish and spent many a night running with a rough crowd while she put my kiddo to bed after my own divorce, and I truly appreciate Bunny's mama not falling into that crazy life crash trap. I'm happy being part of this chaos because I see us being a team getting through a challenge together. I didn't know how to do that when I was younger.
I take full blame otherwise for my entire year diverting onto the slow track. I started off not feeling well and ignoring the real problem, thankfully that is solved now. I slugged my way against my own current and then lost myself in white waters, but along the way I found my joy, and that was exactly what I needed, so I don't count this year a waste at all. With that in mind, now I can properly assess.
Pinky blog clearly outstrips my spoonie blog, my fansite blog, my aspienado blog, my minecraft blog, I could go on, but it has never pulled in the specific high traffic like I get at SyfyDesigns. I should be over there more, and I do have good intentions. Currently in my background is a very noisy kid game going on, some kind of wack a mole music thing, and there is no place to hide in this house, which I call my spaceship. This is where I could argue with filmmakers showing personnel walking endless hallways in spaceships while they talk- my house doesn't have a single hallway in 3 floors of it, not even a very short one. It's the most efficient house you've ever seen. There is no escape. I can close a door, but anyone with a 4 year old in the house knows that's an invitation to be swooped on and winds up with all kinds of bouncing on beds and bringing #allthetoys and stuff like that. So when I think about needing to do stuff over at SyfyDesigns, I almost immediately collapse into exhaustion mode and crawl back to real life. But it's definitely priority. I've already lost a couple of lists about directions and goals over there, and I want to jump back over in 2018 with a vengeance. We'll come back this time next year and see if I laugh sarcastically or triumphantly.
I've never compared all my blogs in one place before, mostly because I barely work on most of them, but I'm curious what the all-time top post is on each one.
That wasn't an exhaustive blog list because some of them have no tracking whatsoever any more (Xanga), a few more remain private, and one is unlisted and I'm not going to link it.
The point to assessing is to gather info and learn. On the blogs with very few posts, I was surprised at the incoming to the home pages (like people checking on the dotcoms themselves) were in the hundreds every year since I made them, especially on my two 'official' placeholders. One of those has been checked nearly every single day for 3 solid years. Had to put my eyeballs back in after they fell out. On the blogs with more goal-oriented directions, it was very surprising to find posts I didn't expect hitting the top all-time.
And then out of 1,111 published posts here on Pinky blog (this post is 1,112), my all-time top post now is summer syllabus. Most of my posts here average between 50-100, some hit around 300 once in awhile, but this was one of two that went over 2000. I'm sure it got caught up in the weird surgey spike last summer, whatever that was, but even then it was nearly double the other stuff also caught up in the surgey spike.
I'm not blogging to win points or make money. I blab away whether anyone reads this or not, because I do it for me. I am learning, though. I'm going deeper into me dredging out my closets, I'm getting a feel for what readers prefer in content, I'm finding out this whole #transparency thing isn't the big, bad monster it used to feel like not so long ago.
2017 was my sabbatical year, perhaps. I'm getting anxious to FOCUS! GET BACK TO WORK!
Drove by the Partridge Family bus yesterday, meant to get a pic coming back by and I totally forgot. It's really a copy onto a short bus, so it's not the original. Here's the neighbor's squash garden, though. Enjoy.
So I nearly got a first in my stats, right. A couple days ago I noticed I might possibly catch 0 hits for the first time since I started this blog. That's right, over the entire life of this blog, it's never gone 24 hours without being hit before, and I got excited and thought wo, a new thing I can screenshot. And then this happened.
I know, right. I figured mega bot blast and was trying to guess which country this time. Guess what.
I never woulda dreamed. And I'm pretty sure it's related to the end of the world in a couple of days because the date list here, embedded in that tweak list is this post from 2 years ago after the world didn't end on that 23rd, and I'm pretty sure a superbot insta-crawled that entire year over it.
So I guess sharing that link this week to twitter and facebook got me caught up in a curate slam because 'Murica is in a tizzy.
So you guys have 2 days to get all your junk cleaned out of your souls and get your 'so chill forgiving everyone' hats on because the apocalypse is about to pass us by again. And then there's church the next day for the big letdown, so maybe plan potlucks and bring extra desserts.
Other thoughts-
Don't use just one letter as a user name thinking no one else will ever use it to get into your bank. I keep accidentally pulling up someone else's bank page.
I made fail soup this week and the only way I could eat it was dump a pile of grated parm on it, AND I ATE IT ANYWAY.
I dove into singleplayer one day this week and it felt so gooooood. I didn't even care about the updates, I just buried myself in cobble and left Earth behind. Now I'm wondering if I should do that more often because a Lexx post suddenly appeared.
I'm about ready for the world to stop putting glitter on all girl toys. I picked up a cute little mock Ariel for Bunny to play with in the tub and the glitter jumped off instantly. My house is so glittered up already that I feel like Tinkerbell lives here and she's a slob. Even Daisy Duck gives meticulous instruction on how to sprinkle glitter while saying "triangle" so a triangle cloud will rain over a triangle golf course. I wish I had glitter in minecraft, right. I would shoot tubs of it out of a cannon in PVP or something. Imagine the surprise.
Mock if you must, but I love live drafting with @bonenado. It's hilarious and I do stuff just to fall over laughing while he pulls his hair out. My report card this year is rock bottom of the entire league.
I'll share my fave lines from the report.
With Some Early Gambles, 790 Should Call Chip Kelly for Trade Advice Draft Summary Despite selecting in the top half of the first round (sixth overall), 790 might as well have been blindly heaving darts at the draft board to decide their picks... 790 should look into the joys of scrapbooking, or bird-watching, or just anything that isn't fantasy football.
Meanwhile-
Yeah, not a clue. These are all new visitors coming in. That blog was 3 years old last month, has only 90 published posts, and only 4 this year.
Labor Day grillfest this year is ramping up. Twink has been on a Daniel fast for the last 3 weeks and is ready for some MEAT. Sunday we'll be firing up the grill and loading it with filet mignon, BBQ chicken and pork, and possibly shrimp. I figure may as well get it all cooked up and then not have to cook for a few days.
Bunny's arm cast came off yesterday and ceremoniously went into the trash. Nothing like starting school in a cast.
Between Scott's work finally selling, my kiddo and her Batman being in the middle of Houston (now harboring storm fugitives), and Bunny flipping our schedules with pre-K, basically our lives lately... I've got a full agenda today, so see ya.
Once in awhile I get a real referral link showing up that either doesn't care if they're anonymous or are simply unaware it exists as an option, and today I got hit from a daum.net (Korea) search "i'm wondering how you are", and this old post of mine (next pic) shows up in a list of other posts that are actually pretty cool (looks like I was on page 6, but still in the top 100 worldwide for such a vague search), so I'm going to share a few of the ones on page 6 with me. Each snip clicks to the original post it came from.
You can see why I love synchronicity. An algorithm sprung to life from one human brain typing words into a search bar, and next thing you know, my brain is sandwiched between other brains sharing cool things. I would probably have never seen these other people or known their lives but for this one person using a Korean search engine (the hit came from inside the U.S., so I'm wondering if someone is feeling displaced and very lonely, I'm in a huge college area), and like magic, we are all part of each other now.
Let's skip a few now, this one really caught my attention further down the page. I'm very moved that this is a real thing no matter what country we live in or where we go.
This title. 😁
I love my stats. I love seeing where my view hits come from, love seeing into other souls searching through the long days and dark nights for something that feels real and helps make getting through another day a little easier. We're all out here, together in this invisible soup of radio waves and satellite pings. We see each other through a mirror, darkly. We don't see other people watching us, unless we check our stats.
I love my stats. I love that real people find me when I feel lost.
Great, now we need something gooey here. I'm not really feeling gooey. Oh, here we go.
I started this about an hour and a half before midnight two nights ago.
I should probably be paying more attention.
I only found that because I couldn't keep a game server up and wasn't quite ready to pull my brain off the screen yet. As far as I can tell, a specific something kinda boomed in a particular couple of areas that was most likely Lexx related. Oh, nothing, just deep underneath the surface mining ores 'n stuff, glancing up...
I've started asking this question of a few people around me in real life and online- If you knew you could make $100,000 over the next 2 years, would you let anything stop you? And then when I move on to Would you let your depression stop you?, the response instantly lets me know they know exactly what I'm talking about.
I believe I am capable. I believe I have worthy material. My stats let me know once in awhile that other people think that, too. I have things to say that have garnered interest from nearly every country on the planet, some of the most specific hits coming in on posts leaning out over that not-quite-saying-it edge on religion and politics. Well, today it may have been about fandom freedoms and politics.
I don't share all of what I really think on blogs. As I inch closer and closer to hard copy print merch, it's becoming more clear how much impact I could possibly have. Original intention was to have impact, yes, but originally, I never even dreamed of how much impact just a few blog posts could have.
I love author bios. It's cool finding out that Orwell was unimaginably ill with tuberculosis as he was writing 1984. It's comforting finding out that a favorite book here or there took ten years to write. It's weird wondering what a generation or two after me would say if I ever really did make it. It's horrible thinking it will all go to the grave with me if I don't get this done.
I haven't been this emotionally and physically drained in years. Fatigued, yes. More crippled and suffering, yes. More sick and afraid, most definitely. But too tired to care... never. I don't recall ever reaching this point before. Even when I got close, anger would always push me back onto my path. I'm too tired to be angry any more.
Revenge is best served cold. I'm beginning to see a new interpretation of that. I think it's often meant more like a well-planned revenge works best when the temper flaring is out of the way. I'm wondering now if it could also mean revenge is best served when it is no longer even cared about. I'm noticing a new freedom growing in my mind. The tireder I feel, the less I worry about consequences or perfect timing or the money that's gone into it. By the time I get this done, I'll be so worn out that I'll still be a completely normal person living a normal life trying to get back into an occasional live tweet, like what I did never even happened. Big deal, right Neal? Oh yeah, that book thing. I'll be more concerned about how far behind I'm dragging on a TV show or whether I can keep up with other players on a game server.
Now it is today.
And I don't have much to say. Scratch that, I have reams in stack overflow. I've been writing on anything and everything I can lay hands on when tech is down and I'm spread thin across the maps. Back to school pens and spirals are my Christmas, all boiled down.
I'm to the point where I don't believe any author that actually manages to write on any kind of schedule at all has enough family life of some kind going on. #fam When I arrive to my deathbed, I definitely won't be regretting that I didn't stop continually over and over in the middle of paragraphs and sentences and thoughts to respond to people I care about on all sides coming to me for anything and everything.
The love is so very real. I hope to God I get this done.
WordAI, guys. As near as I can tell (and the Master is back, right on cue, not sure if it's related), Pinky blog is perfect fodder for auto rewrite. AUTOMATED PLAGIARISM THEFT IS THE LATEST ARTIFICIAL INTELLIGENCE MONEY MAKING SCAM.
And since it's automated, even the 'author' of whatever article being sold doesn't know what they just ripped off, right, unless they're the ones setting it to certain material in the first place.
Auto blogging is the opposite of those next new singing star shows. Those shows rigorously enforce actual talent to the point of stardom. Auto blogging is like reproducing other people's talents into rubbish and selling it off as original material. Auto blogging super sucks for the entire planet because not only does it clog up multiple servers with redundant material, it also clogs up search engines and ultimately our brains. Words are becoming meaningless in an automated society.
I hope this post gets auto picked up, auto rewritten, and auto sold off over and over until it saturates the world, because that would be funny.
Here is one of the feedback comments on their site- "I have all of my writers using WordAi to rewrite content for me and they are each making me over $100 per day."
Do you see why I don't "write for" other people? I've been asked to write original articles for big sites, well, wouldn't be long until those articles were rewritten and reproduced on competitor sites. I still have extremely unique original material that never gets copied except by real life translators simply because I've never associated with a content curating site that funnels readers to specific content. Think about it- if Pinky blog is able to see this stuff in stats just because this has grown into a big blog (and I created all of this all by myself), imagine what a content curate site is able to see. I would be swarmed into oblivion by now if I had never remained rogue.
Other than thunderstorms taking out our internet, still got my fingers crossed for Sharknado tonight. If you don't see me in the live tweet, I'll actually not have internet. Also, if 'Sharknado' and 'live tweet' actually get picked up and rewritten along with this article, double funny, right. 😁
That regular 'heartbeat' you see at the beginning of the last 7 days, what I termed the Master's knocking, completely died out over the last 24 hours. This is the first time in MONTHS I have seen normal stats, i.e. real people coming and going. Several posts on the auto hitting scored well over 1500 hits apiece (one wound up over 2000, but I think part of that was actual traffic from a special interest group), and I am still so calloused from seeing fake traffic that I can barely believe real people actually hit them, but I see once in awhile that they really do. Also must've gotten picked up on someone's content curator on the 1st, that spike the other day was a surprise post from the past that had nothing to do with the auto hitting, and surges continued through the day to one particular post. Since actual posting had gone completely dead during that time, I can't take any personal credit for that at all, so thank you to whoever.
I'm doing my best not to fall into the "I'm missing Syfy's Sharknado Week with the Snarkalecs live tweeting" abyss, but last night I dove into the #ToxicShark feed for a few minutes and absolutely loved it. I miss that so bad. Sharknado 5: Global Swarming airs this coming Sunday night, and I.WILL.BE.THERE. I still think the Sharknado franchise is the most brilliant all-inclusive contract collection ever conceived. Check out Sharknado: Know Your Meme.
Meanwhile, not quite keeping up live with GoT and several other shows, catching up when we can.
I've gotta mention that I finally caught a possible Stan Lee nod on Doc McStuffins. In one particular special hour-long episode titled Welcome to McStuffinsville, we learn that Grandma shares in Doc's secret and gives her a 'toysponder' disguised as a bandaid that transports them to a world of toys, and Doc is promoted to head of the toy world hospital. Along the way, there is a broken toy named Stanley who plots to break lots of toys in order to make new friends that will have to hang out with him. At one point a giant magnet is turned on, entrapping toys containing metal, and Stuffy turns to him saying, "Not cool at all! Stanley, you don't have to do this!", and Stanley replies, "I do, Stuffy. I do." I've seen that ep a few times because it's in Bunny's top ten, and today I happened to be looking away from the screen when that line came through, and I heard it- "Stan Lee, you don't have to do this!" and immediately flashed back on all the cool evil villain scenes, and everything about Stanley clicked perfectly into Stan Lee's superhero wisdom and how villains originate. The scene was absolutely perfect, and if you're a Marvel fan, just *wow*. I loved it. Oh, look, I found it on youtube. See if you think it sounds like Stuffy says "Stan Lee" at that spot, about a minute into this.
My brain is on Hyper Active right now, so I'm slinging thru some new uploads.
And some old ones.
Those of you who envisioned me sitting here buried in youtube, I've jumped up from this chair 8 times since I started this post, and paused each of the vids at least 5 times. Live blogging. I'm not sure how Sunday evening will go, but I've announced to my family that I'll be camped in the livingroom with my tech rolling thru live tweet feeds that will not stop for anything, and I imagine I provoked every Loki in the multiverse just saying that. That means any and all of the following list could happen during my attempt to focus on something I enjoy for 2 hours straight-
death (srsly, how many times has someone in my vicinity DIED {or nearly died} right after I actually announced something, and y'all know I've got the blogs to prove it)
dismemberment (hey, if a chainsaw accident can happen within an eighth mile of me on Father's Day, anything can happen)
epic natural disaster (how many times has Missouri flooded this year?)
epic tech fail (I will be risking a 4 year old {and other adults} walking by with liquids that hopefully have tightly sealed lids on them)
epic facepalm (drama never stops, and if ANYONE jolts my family into sadness in the middle of my joy {looking at YOU, ex idiot}, I will def make you famous)
various and sundry odds and ends just simply going wrong, because that's what the cosmos DOES
During that list I completely stopped for something else and then got up 2 more times. Start placing your bets on whether I actually get to live tweet Sharknado 5. 😁
I need to make Sunday a party day. I'll hafta think of some fun food.
I'm thinking chocolate pie with an ocean meringue. I may not get much more creative than that if I keep sidetracking into other stuff.
Most of all, I miss live tweeting my fave TV doctor who, by the way, actually has a medical degree. Wild veer down a youtube path there. See ya.
I have all the IPs catalogued in my statcounter. This is one variant.
I have been able to Google Earth zoom to a property with one of the variants. Not saying this is the one. I got a nice screenshot.
I like checking out services. I do this on just about everyone who catches my eye. This next snip clicks to source.
This is not the first timestamp I've been able to corroborate to a real time adjustment update in the regularly scheduled spam hits.
I could post a list of guesses as to agenda, but that's pointless. Just saying real person, real time, massively screwing with my stats.
All-time count, around 17K hits I have proof are from one source.
I don't appreciate this. I've clearly stated it's ruining my fun. I haven't been able to see real view counts in months in my blogger stats. Because it's affected me personally, statcounter, which is already extremely conservative, is showing me that my link sharing is dramatically falling off, and I'm losing my launch platform.
I've talked about stats and view counts and hits and web traffic off and on for years. The numbers can be fun when you learn how to use them to increase your audience. They can also be a big problem when the stat host (in this case, Blogger) fails to handle spam hitting getting around the spam filters. Google Analytics doesn't even see this happening, but it's still 1- not useful in the way I use stats and 2- extra work. Statcounter also doesn't see this happening, but at least I was able to get solid evidence of someone actually doing this. Someone is personally vetting what goes onto the spam hit list. This has been going on for months. M O N T H S.
Analytics has come a long way in ten years, but the toughest part is sifting out how much counting comes in from one person clicking, now that we have proxy hosts and invisible browsing available with most browsers. My best real reader might give me one real hit a day, while a fly-by might ding me 6 or 7 times through browser proxy, social media routing (like Facebook), local service hosting, device ping, etc. It's ridiculous.
I know a lot of you find this very boring and probably think I'm too concerned with it, but there is so much stuff on the webs about this stuff. I'm the only one I know actually live blogging about it with an actual demo.
In the end, don't be fooled by 'big time' bloggers who get a million hits a year. A lot of that isn't real people. I just demo'd that 17K hits are from one source playing a spam game for whatever reason, possibly making some kind of money off my blog with an app thingy posting content to a curator, which means readers are reading MY stuff on another site I didn't make. Am I mad? Nope. Not at all. It's happened before, it'll happen again, in the words of a very wise Time Prophet.
Decided to put the blogger stat counter back. It's awkward because I don't feel it's accurate for sets of real eyes on kind of thing, but after some thought, whoever out there is doing this little game is actually jacking me into leveling up. I don't approve of this method, like I don't approve of people running to vote sites on cue every hour or day to jack numbers because it's not a true feedback, but what the heck, right? Let bygones be bygones. Besides, I'm not the only one obsessed with the numbers thing. Everything You Ever Wanted to Know about Pageviews
I'm not monetized. I have never monetized any of my blogs and probably never will. I don't use the traffic and content game to pull a dime around. Some people are actually able to live off of that, some nickel and dime it getting a few bills paid, some work feverishly on wringing a few pennies out. I don't sweat it. I'm not blogging to milk anyone for profit. I don't push cheering sections or grow my army, although my bounce rate is pretty sweet and I've been told by other website owners that I drive fairly nice traffic. You guys have seen me fuss about piggyback apps and bot swarms and even real people here and there, but mostly all I care about is that my name is everywhere. Janika Banks is a real business name I registered with a local legal office some years ago. I never made a cent off of it, but I wasn't trying to. I just wanted to see how that all works. Well, now I want to see how far I can push that.
Lately I'm a bit frustrated with irl and curve balls and cosmic target gaffes. I know it's time. I can feel it. I have so many interruptions popping up in my way every single day now that all I can do is laugh and proceed with one eye twitching like a madman and the other side of my head stabbing me with the stress headache from a weird mockery of hell. (I love Sartre. I was first exposed to that story in an advanced French class, so I had the added bonus of reading and testing in another language, but the story is delightfully painful.) Where was I? Oh yeah. I believe I've shared this before, but it's still accurate and apropos. I may have reached this point now where all that's left to do is just run like hell and take all the crap if I wanna really get this done.
Hello again How are you doing What do you want from me? A new beginning A magic ending
And then I woke up. I never found out what the last line in the stanza was, probably something about to rhyme with 'me'. It was a simple song, light piano, kind of like it was being sung on stage, young female voice in semi darkness. It's occurring to me that the reason I'm not fond of musicals is because I go through processing my life as musicals so often in my dreams. Some of them are cool, though. Beats dreaming in cartoon. I've done that a few times, it's unimaginably creepy realizing my brain can adapt me into a 2D medium like that. The minecraft dreams are awesome, like the entire world really is minecraft, but apparently tonight was musical night.
I'm still in very slow med taper, and even though I got 100 on my sleep score last night, tonight is horrible because I cut the dose a little again today and I'm hurting all over and it keeps waking me up in weird ways. I know it's nerve receptor pings making my brain feel things too much, getting the day's processing mixed up with real life sensations. It's not real, yet real enough to drive me out of bed over the suckage.
The obvious move would be to just take the stupid dose and feel better, but the side effects have gotten so ridiculous over the last 6 weeks that I really can't wait to be done with this stuff. I rarely get edema, usually from meds messing me up, and I certainly didn't have it before I started this one. A month of not realizing it was screwing my blood sugar is very slowly cleaning back up, and since that kind of stuff affects skin and hair on top of turning my inside fluids into a syrupy glue (visual for all you diabetics out there still eating junk and brushing off your A1Cs), that means everything in my body is having to clean house, and stuff like that typically takes about 3 months. Also, this is the closest I've ever come to feeling like I could develop congestive heart failure, which would be even bigger suck, so yeah, this med screwed me. I can take a little taper withdrawal, but not without torturing you guys along with me.
I haven't checked pinterest in awhile. I know people live in there and never come out, but is 22.5K monthly views normal/average for a really dormant account? I think I've pinned about 5 things in the last 6 weeks. I'm having a hard time believing that's a real view count.
I see they've spiffed up their analytics since I checked last, oh what, maybe a year and a half ago? At least.
Ah, yes. "Impressions." We all know what I think of impressions. Not actual eyes on, but the possible eyes on that could have seen these pins via certain feed parameters being engaged.
So that makes my top pin this month being a Star Wars pin more credible. Out of 12K 'impressions' it got 65 actual saves.
I still can't believe this one is my all-time most saved/shared pin, and even has 30 comments. But yeah, nailed me. (Scorpio)
This one has always been my most clicked. I loaded it myself, and the stat thingy says this pic is on 5.99K boards now. It has nearly 9000 total impressions since 5 years ago (I actually dated it in the description) and 40 saves in the last 30 days. Pinterest has labeled it a 'rich pin'.
This one had twice the impressions and triple the saves over the last 30 days, but it's not a 'rich pin'.
And I'm bored now. I took a real pain pill, the ibuprofen kind. I haven't had one in about 3 weeks because my doctor pulled me off these, too, but at least it's not addictive and it's helping cut the extra chatter down to a mild nausea. Maybe I can sleep now...
And now it's today.
I have a very long day. Moved a chiro appointment 3 times, so I'm long overdue. Then I broke a tooth (don't worry, no pain) while my dentist was on vaca and I got a call yesterday that they had a cancellation and can get me in today, and thankfully all this stuff is in the same town so I won't have to run all over creation. May as well hit the Walmart over there while I'm at it.
My head has been like Cirque du Soleil nearly this whole year already, and whatever I'm treading in feels more like a big mess from the Kool Aid Man tripping and spilling himself all over my world. My queue of work to do online is petrifying into glyphnotes. Get it? Glyphnotes. Nevermind.
Anyway, my jetsetting crew is healthy, we're past nearly all the big holiday stuff, I'm actually looking forward to 4th of July, and hopefully all other transitions about to hit go smoothly and the tech hangs in there through it all.
Time to go fix a tooth. Ignore this cover frame, the entire thing is a megamix of artists and WoW.
