pink spider pig!

Snip clicks to tweet so you can go follow Pagan and Nurture and Support on twitter.
and click this amazon link
(not paid to link any of that on Pinky blog)

My youtube viewer history went off the rails this week, so I'm slapping myself silly again. I think my very favorite thing in this highly promiscuous and NSFW 'pink slap meme' search are those really long toes with the pink toenails.

And I just realized that by word association half of you probably thought that my youtube viewer history going off the rails meant in a promiscuous way, so let me make you sick and really sick. Not promoting, just sharing the nauseated feeling. I tend to rocket off into the abyss like I'm skipping down a carnival strip when life plunges into dark and sucky, and I cannot say anything right now that doesn't sound smutty, so consider it another innocent jaunt into closeyoureyes land.

It's ok, though, I found pink spiderpig.


And of course that roofied me right out of Sadland into crazy and I'm good now.

I had to eat that cake off the ground

This screenshot is from the Mo Creatures server, so it clicks back to the website.

This week got pretty rough, so by Wednesday I gave myself the rest of the week off. I was bummed out not knowing what to do with the dive into sad, so I told admin it was a rough week and suddenly found myself being invisibly caked up and fireworks going off all around me, which helped lift my mood up a bit because it was such a funny surprise. After that I hung out with staff going all pyro watching a build copy burn. It felt right.

After that I played around creating single player worlds with forge and the Mo Creatures mod pack. I super cranked up the ores.

And then I took my cue from Bunny, just started spawning colorful things like birds

and butterflies.

That helped, too. And then I spent Thursday on the server mining out the rest of a pit down to bedrock

A lawyer showed up to check on my XP grinder, citing reckless containment of dangerous fugitives.

and killing a bunch of mobs, which also felt good. This guy lost his cowboy hat.

In between times I went on youtube binges, some good, some bad. Started with the usual Space Cowboy, wandered into #bencongruity, and next thing you know I'm bouncing back and forth from weird stuff to 80s oldies but it kept me distracted pretty well. If you're having one of those days, here you go, part of my vid trail. If you trigger easily or don't care for Benny C, you might wanna skip some of these. Let this first one be a warning to you.



I blame this one for triggering the 80s mood.


And next thing you know, there I went. This actually is a pretty good video.


I will be a Corey fan till the day I die. He is braver than anyone I've ever seen in Hollywood.


A lot of 80s music looks so experimental now in highsight. The whole MTV thing.


I mean, you gotta laugh, but seriously. I look back and see how staged all our music genres have been. Planned.


And now we literally have a decade of movies spelling all the stuff out for us. This movie alone completely normalized the entire thing without anyone raising a single eyebrow, not to mention completely screwed google search for certain phrases and word combos. Like magic... Still, makes for super awesome fanvid material. (And that's the point, isn't it? Ben caught you.) Ironically, the official official website of the real real people went live on the cusp of this movie. Everyone seemed to miss that timing.


This wasn't creepy at all. O_O The helicopter shot of those buildings, though. After seeing this, I'm laughing that the rest of the world kept trying to say 'conspiracy'. That's as real as it gets.


Took a little break and laughed. (But you know how I feel.)
Things you only notice about Harry Potter as an adult



I'll just shut up now


before I wind back up in humans as products.



Because depending on who wins, one day we'll be able to buy this kind of stuff, where we want to recreate our lives, hand ourselves over to be 'fixed', and turned loose to feel better without having to think about what happened to us and what was required. If it beats depression, who cares, right? I'm betting it won't be that long till people line up for the brain chips. (In case you need a quick diversion before you go on, I used to talk a bit more about that kind of stuff.)
The first human brain-to-brain interface has been created. In the future, will we all be linked telepathically?


Well, here's what I think.

clicks to source

lil' Benny C

My house reached a serene state today. Even the hamster voluntarily came forth when I appeared with a baby leaf of romaine, and there was joy across the land.

All flu germ evidence is being dealt with post haste. Trash, towels, sheets, dishes. All.

I suspect it's the weird mix of being low key affected by flu B and the tamiflu, but last night I dreamed the Brady Bunch was a real life reality show family, and that season one Mrs. Brady had been a different person, and season two Mrs. Brady was in real life AND ON THE SHOW having an affair with Greg Brady, and the whole family knew about it. Alice didn't even give a crap, and Mr. Brady was kinda getting into Cindy, and I think that's about where my brain went ohHELLno and woke me up.

Oddly, not one spec of it had anything to do with minecraft. My dreams usually go all minecraft on me. I've barely been playing over the last week compared to my usual. I did, however, get Bunny to take medicine by promising to let her play all by herself on a singleplayer, and she went to town spawning parrots and donkeys and going all pyro with a flame bow. She plowed down and fell out of the world once, but she did pretty good trying to place blocks for a little house. She's only 4. The first five minutes would be excellent, one hand on arrows, spacebar (up), and shift (down), and the other hand toggling pointer and middle finger clicking and the hotbar wheel. I know, right? But she hit the wall pretty consistently after five minutes and after that would be tired of it and going back to Paw Patrol, thank goodness.

I barely got any down time for nearly a week straight. Last couple of days were literally 12 hour stay on alert days after a very long weekend of all of us being miserable losing sleep. I'm going to coast out on this song while some of you stay glued. You're probably feeling rotten, too. Hope you feel better soon. 💕

rambling, something about a diamond snake maybe

I have a snake on the Mo Creatures server named Dave. I left it plain and no one knows why Dave, but it was for Diamond Dave. You know, because minecraft also has diamonds. Nevermind.

This number called me out of the blue today. Since I'm on a national do not call registry and my phone is super locked down, I always look up numbers that call me.


It's vaguely near this airbase. (Or it could be really near, I have no idea.) With all the stuff exploding on youtube and twitter, I couldn't resist looking up whether it has a FEMA camp near it. That's an old page. Here's a very recent one. I'm not suggesting any connections, I just naturally free associate. We've actually got one much closer to us.


Some of us have seen this next type of video happen on scifi shows. It's happening in real life now. That's real, and it's not a joke. I doubt it's a stunt, because it's too perfectly timed with stuff like Julian Assange and other biggie stuffs going on, but I can't decide yet if it's a surface distraction to redirect attention. Q-Anon has a twitter hashtag feed going off the hook and a recently created youtube account. Tonight, this is quite the stir on twitter. (Remember, I don't take sides. I observe. Right now I'm sharing because I doubt anyone I know has a clue this is happening, unless they're just laying low like I tend to do, but for real, most of the people I know in real life don't even have twitter accounts.)


Very few people will understand what is happening when it starts. Actually, it all started long ago, and another one of Q-Anon's vids explains a little about the doublespeak, but I got bored and didn't make it through the whole vid. You don't have to watch it, and I don't care if you believe this is real or not, or what side you feel is right. Truth has been so screwed up for so long I'm not sure it even matters for most of us any more. I'd be more apt to finish it if it weren't pushing the religious parts so hard, but that's just me, serious burnout from hearing it all my life, day in and day out because of the way I grew up. I'm actually having a problem working up any excitement because I've been through end of the world announcements so many times that it's all meh to me.

When the flip happens, it'll be fast and feel rough. They've been talking about it for years. Decades. The root of change is making money digital. The real fight is between the world bankers. Everyone else is fallout, no matter what side anyone is on. Y'all who've seen Game of Thrones might understand how important banks are to financing political change, except in our world, the banks are so big that they don't wait to be hired for bookkeeping.

I could say things about world leaders, but I won't waste my breath. They don't get to stop and watch The Walking Dead like I do. I like being able to disengage and enjoy my family and some entertainment on a regular basis. I can't imagine living a life of 'have to' to the point of never having a normal family life, where everything is performance for a cause.

Like the way I've been interrupted 40 million times during writing these few sentences. 😂 I'll take that any day. There's a hamster ball rolling around my kitchen and a very excited little girl bouncing all around it.

Anyway, my job on this earth is exactly what I'm doing, which is focusing on positivity and mindfulness and being kind. Being kind is logical.

And I really really love Van Halen. Always. (Even the Sammy years, but I've probably tortured you enough for now.) I'm not going to worry about that call, even if it's hot on the heels of other weird stuff this week. Gonna shut my eyes and walk away from it.

my own propaganda

neato calendar my kiddo got me

Dear people making expose vids for youtube- tighten up your info, you keep losing me dragging on like that. If you wanna save the world, please save me from your voices droning on and on and on... I would've interpreted a few things a little differently, but who cares. I never made it to the end anyway.

Confession- I absolutely cannot make it through anything "informational", I don't care how interesting it is or how interested I might be in it. I grew up in church 3X a week from wee childhood, earned 190+ hours of college classes, and have even reached a saturation point for my favorite kind of television. I am so. bored. with people having to explain stuff. Educate me quickly, entertain me delightfully, at least stop spamming your mouse or hitting the pause button on whatever you're demo-ing. All those precious seconds and minutes wasted could be better spent checking my bank account or something. I either turn it up way loud so I can hear while I'm folding laundry or I carry it around on a phone while I do stuff, but every time you jaunt off into 30 seconds of extra yap pausing something I'm supposed to be looking at, you're losing me.

On the other hand, kudos to people who are natural talkers, already know what they're going to say, and don't expect me to watch everything they do. You could tell me about every rock in your yard and I'd still be right there with you an hour later. I even kind of envy that because I'm not a natural talker like that, so when I get excited and really get yappy, I lose people. It's like I have to plug into a convo with people who can easily lead a topic.

And for those of you STILL going on about millennials on phones-

I sit in doctor waiting rooms with old people glued to Andy Griffith on the television like they've never seen it before. O.M.G. And the scary part is how many next gens will be staring at Full House like that the very same way, if they still have televisions in waiting rooms by that age.

Kind of in a snit. Backed off a tad on coffee and chocolate again this week. Pretty sure my brain is riling up all the nerve gangs for a major walkout.

Do I look like I care? Just blocking out the world and doing what I love.

And, oh yeah, got into staff on my fave game server. Life is leveling up in the fun way this year.


p.s. Rocking my asics every day, so I'm not just sitting there. Got my conquer on. While the rest of the world catches up to the junk I've been saying for years, I'm ripping through the next portal getting that dragon head. It's never too late to level up your lives, if you want change- assess where you are, make a list of goals, plan out the steps you need to take reaching those goals (be realistic about time allowances, too, things take time and life throws curve balls), and start executing. You're never too anything to start making incremental changes that add up over time to very big differences.

You can do this.

zombie fog

I took these pix around 1:40 p.m. on the way home from town. The top one is so foggy that the camera refused to even focus. Even using my eyes, I didn't see the lights until the next click. I didn't click until I could actually see the lights. The time passing between the two shots is about an eyeblink.

This is further down the road closer to my home. Driving out this morning was like white out, but at least I could see the trees on the way back.

We're taking a little break from the nasty cold, it seems. I guess Thursday we'll go way below freezing again. I'm super thrilled I wasn't driving in on ice today.

I love damp drippy foggy days, any time of year. I'm literally in my element. 😆😁😂 I've got old fashioned settler's beans and cornbread cooking, so my cave smells beautiful.

Now that I've got my peace and quiet back during the days, I've got a more fun video trail going.

You can check out all this person's vids here.


This next vid is a compilation made by a fan, but you can find all the originals here, there's more. I love this so much.


I chased a few rabbits around and found RichieFromBoston (sorry, Richie, I couldn't make it through more than one vid, but keep up the good work), a whole swarm of Herobrine conspiracy vids (conspiracy off the hook, once you find out the real conspiracy behind it, lolz, I loved it), and after DIY Camper brought me back to earth, I dug back into Space Cowboy history. You gotta admire someone who basically starts off with a completely digital homemade music vid series and winds up touring with Lady Gaga, so the miles of comments are just jealous.

They say do what you love. I love fans. I keep saying that. I'm a fan of the fans.

I just made that. It's dumb unless you know both the show and the fandom.

This was too safe for work. Let's mess that up a bit.

how are those resolutions going so far?

Jan. 5, Friday

Back to the ordinary. Kiddo is back in routine. @bonenado is on antibiotic getting better. The nastiest part of the intense cold is slightly warming up. We may get above freezing for a few days.

Started my new year off right with neurologist, rest of the month will be MRIs on 2 spine areas and a follow up EMG to check for nerve dysfunction. I haven't been able get back into my walking routine without acutely intensifying my foot pain for months, and if it's coming from spinal stenosis, I need to know before I possibly increase meds again trying to get back into that game. Continuing to ignore it and not exercise only lets it get worse, but I need to make sure I'm not making it worse myself. Closer to end game steps are steroid shots and surgeries (worse case scenario is crippling and paralysis), but I don't show obvious damage (leg weakness, foot drop, etc) during office assessment, which is really good. I'm still doing really well for all the work I've had to put into regaining my mobility the last 6 years. I started mobility and strength work 6 years ago. 6 years ago I was barely able to walk around a store and often used motor carts (for much more than this one problem), and I barely did the shopping. Now I do most of the shopping on a regular basis and never use a motor cart. I'd like to keep it that way for awhile, but this foot pain is becoming a real bear again over the last year.

Jan. 6, Saturday

Routine is such a funny word around here. 😂 The roller coaster is still there, just more predictable.

I've got my part of it broken down into a 3X3 format of things I need to keep getting done or work on this winter and spring. In one format it's personal, home, internet, in another format it's daily, weekly, monthly. The time jags I went through in December necessitate an urgent need to get myself back on track asap. I was able to fake my way through most of it, probably even surprisingly well, but underneath I was barely containing a mess way out of control.

When you throw depression, finances, daily chores, holiday expectations (that's it's own horrible list right there), forgetfulness, and the inevitable emotional fallout all into a dogpile together (I basically just described Christmas for at least 50% of everyone I know), it's a mess. And then January is about crawling out from that mess and starting the cleanup. A lot of people usually give up by March if not sooner, and I think that's because the mess never gets properly defined. Exercising our way to health without dealing with our healthy in any form in the first place (physical, mental, spiritual) is like putting a bandaid on a 6 inch gash. Going to a gym doesn't fix anything. It can help, yes. But without some kind of guidelines, it can actually make the mess harder to deal with.

So, the whole frickin' mess. I have to stay on top of money and calendar sync weekly. I have to stay on top of certain household chores daily. I have to stay on top of internet goals weekly/monthly.

Example- Personal includes hair and nail maintenance, right. Once a month. I actually have it written down because I'm so bad to neglect myself. I'm not the sort of person who even looks in a mirror. I'm not ashamed to admit it. Some people freak out about how they present round the clock, and I'll admit I've had years where I slacked around like The Dude. I try not to do that any more. Personal also includes calling my dad. I am super fail to check in with him, and I need to at least call him once a week. He's old and alone much of the time, and we can always talk about the impending apocalypse and the lastest homeopathic fad in the spam catalogs coming in his mail. Other personal things include medical. I found out last month that my disability papers aren't on file with my doctor, super fail since I got that years ago. I need to make a phone call and find out how to go about getting a copy into their software system. There's more, but you can see how organizing a time table for some things slightly improves my existence.

Example- Home includes the regular laundry and dishes, of course, but I've been extra fail this year with floors and rugs. I used to be pretty OCD about my floors. I have more difficulty nowadays, @bonenado is way overworked, Bunny is tearing around the house, and the floors have been pretty neglected. Well, plus my surgery. I've managed to pull off deep cleaning my floors about every 6 weeks this year. That is unacceptable, even without pets, if for nothing else than my allergies to Mirkwood. If I want to feel better, I need to hold the micro crap down, and don't for one second misunderstand that micro couldn't mean billions and billions of leaf mold spores. I want to breathe easily, so I need to clean my floors. I'm tightening the deep cleaning up to monthly, with weekly touchups when I do my regular weekly cleaning on certain chores. Years ago during my worst horrible year of being nonstop sick, I made a list and we executed it. We threw out our fabric covered couch and replaced it with leather. We shampooed the carpets. We set up hepa filters around the house. Within 3 months I went from monthly antibiotics for continual acute upper respiratory to not sick at all in sinus, glands, throat, or ears. So now I pull down curtains and wash those and rugs religiously. I change the bedding religiously. I rotate all the linens religiously. Been slipping up a bit this year, and it's showing, and that alone is dragging all the rest down.

Example- Internet includes pulling focus back onto the little daily chores I used to do to stay focused on bigger picture. I nearly threw all that out the door the last 6 months. I don't mean Pinky blog, I mean the entire structure I've spent 5 years building. I'm so close to being there. It would be a real shame to let all this slip away. I know the rest is already long, so I won't keep boring you. I'll just say that every little bit adds up, and it's all transient. It's my job to create and maintain my own presence.

From BFF convo

I can do amazing things sometimes a micrometer at a time, as long as I keep tacking on those micrometers. They add up. Again, thank you Chris Hardwick. By the way, all the pics in this post click out to funny sources, check those out.

Stuff is hard. Life can suck. Sometimes perspective is all that stands between us and doom. I can do this.

Watch me fly, 2018. Yes, you can laugh when I faceplant, but I'm still going to make it a few feet through some real air before that happens. Watch me.

little green dots

Changing my wallpapers. That one above clicks out if you like it.

If anyone is really playing attention, vs just freaking out on twitter and facebook, it looks like martial law was finally put into writing just before Christmas, and there are all kinds of interpretations going on about what's going to happen next. Well, we are preparing to go to big war again (per people we know being called back into training), and I've been saying for years we'll eventually be living in a nationalized police state. Those of you who watch scifi have seen how this works in shows like Continuum, so it's not a new idea at all, and even part of our entertainment. I've been saying for years that TV prepares our minds for change by slipping in ideas over and over, and scifi is a major vehicle for that. Stuff doesn't happen overnight and most people's lives won't really change that much (just like all the other incremental changes we've gone through over the decades that we've already forgotten about), and life will go on. How we want to continue is up to us. I personally don't want to be a big drag, so I try to stay focused on my own microcosm, which includes my physical and mental health. How can I be good for people? That is a question I ask every day, and every day I find a way to be good for someone. I may not be able to control the big scary stuff, but I can certainly paint the smaller stuff around me any color I want.

There are no good guys up there in the scary stuff. The only 'sides' involve millennia-long bloodlines that control the world moneys and the people they front as governments. We are already living everyday lives underneath a broiling civil war above us, and you can guess at what's going on all you want but you'll never see the answers until you understand the biggest picture. Having answers won't change a single thing in your life. Obsessing and worrying and ranting will only bring people down all around you and make you more depressed. You are a 'prole', you always have been, and you always will be, even if you think you are white collar in an upper crust job. You will always be one of the cattle beneath the biggest picture. You mean nothing more than that, so you may as well calm down and create your own meaning.

I've gone through my own evolution over the years. I've come back from soul-draining illness, I've wrestled the blackest depressions and floated around in gurgly bubbly euphoria, I've been through brain crash and world crash and server crash and life crash and very real nasty car crash. I've lurked through the depths of despair on the webs, watching people like me finding ways to survive. And we all want more. Who am I ? What do I want? World of Spin

2016 was hard. I slipped backward into more depression and lost my focus and my discipline and 2017 started off with uber pain and I spent 6 months going through med fails, and finally wound up in an unrelated surgery last month. Through most of 2017, my life has been upside down helping other other people adjust to life crash/change, and there is nothing like everything in your world being fail and upside down to sift out what you really WANT when things start calming back down a little.

I want my focus back. I've got my discipline, big time. I grew wealthy on a game server through constant internet glitch, and that was a focus distraction through depression from real life that I was accidentally thriving through just running to keep up with daily chore grind in all my pain, and I come to the close of the year with not just a will of steel, but a diamond tipped edge on discipline. I look around me and see a jumble of junk because that's what life is like with a 4 year old, but I look inside of me and see everything in order, all my junk sorted and organized and ready for action because I've been so focused on surviving real life daily/weekly crisis management through real life pain management, and I'm getting goooooood.

Now, to turn all that back around and apply it to my original focus out here. I am equipped like I never was before, bulked up in metaphorical armor and weaponized with god enchants like infinity power punch flame smite knockback looting efficiency fortune feather-falling depth-strider projectile-protection blast thorns. I'm so good in game that I'm like lemme finish chopping this tree first while mobs bite and sting me from all sides, then casually turn around and pop them all into little green dots that roll up into my experience and level me up some more.

If we could see that happening in real life, all the crap and junk would feel more fun, wouldn't it? We'd be able to see our advancements and achievements even if everything was feeling junked up and stupid. We'd be able to show other people our metaphorical coolness and say Hey, wanna band up and go conquer? I need a badass adventure for a cool power boost.

And that's what life is. On our dumbest days we can't see that we are having badass adventures. We are conquering the toughest demons and leveling up all kinds of little dots we can't see while we wade through stupidity and sad. We feel alone while other people all around us are doing the exact same thing.

We're not alone. And we are badass because we're still here.

2018, here I come. Throw snakes and spiders at me and I'll give a hearty laugh. Show me an impossible mountain and I'll say Hang on, lemme get my gear. Glitch my flying pet out of existence in mid air and I'll go find another one and level it up. You can't stop me.

I'll find my way

I'm inserting random pix off my photobucket for no reason at all.

July 2007
Scott has no fear

So my internet is slower than a slug in an ice storm right now. I can't pull up a game server or youtube or facebook or anything on search, and not even blogger. So I'm on notepad. I wonder if I'll be able to paste it over later. I hope it keeps this font, I really like it.

April 2008
Steve the duck, turned out to be a girl

I'm in 'flat effect' lately, likely a survival mechanism for holidays, and my emotional interaction is at one bar out of five. It doesn't mean I don't care, it just means that if I start feeling the care stuff, I'll cry easily or get upset over stupid little stuff. It's easier to just not feel while it all passes over.

March 2009
vulture right by the house

I don't have big plans for Christmas. Scott will be on vacation from work in a couple of days and be hanging around through the new year. Bunny's school vaca will coincide nicely with his. Even though I'm recovering very well from surgery- wow there's no scroll with this... hang on.

June 2009
for real, in my henhouse, this snake was 6 feet long all stretched out

Dang it, I lost my font. }=l Lemme see if I can manually recode it here now. Oh, cool, I fixed it. Weird, now the wrap is off. Oh, ok, human error.

December 2012
feel lucky not to live inside a city

Ug, now it looks awful in blogger preview. It's daintier in the editor. Hang on again. Ok, at least breaking it up in colors helps.

November 2011
I found myself! Pinky Robot

My eyes have really changed this year. I'm having difficulty seeing colors on black. I used to have so much difficulty seeing black on white. Honestly, I can see colors on white the best. Wonder if I can change the background. Ew, total fail. I need the entire background blanked out. I'm too tired to dig around in the advanced editor. I'm going to re-black it out, apologies to those of you who get Pinky posts in emails. I don't know yet if this will turn out really hard to read like that.

November 2006
coming back from Dogwood Hill

And now the code is so mangled in my html (that's so laughable, I hafta use CSS for a lot of it nowadays) that I would be a fool to go back in there and try to fix anything. So, I'm going to stay out here in the 'compose' editor and hope I don't super screw anything up.

March 2008
we still have this truck

I really don't know why you're still here reading this, but in case you are, I'm about to get back to Christmas, lol. And I guess I'll just stick to this color now. Where was I? Oh, yeah.

October 2012
along my street

Even though I'm recovering very well from surgery, I'm not perky enough yet to jump into Christmas, and since I'm not that terribly helpful (except keeping the dishes and laundry done up kind of thing), I'm mostly stepping back out of the way and everyone can do their thing and not worry about me. I am pretty much doing my usual bowing politely out of plans and just humming along in the background helping some of the chaos run a little more smoothly, which I'm really good at most of the time anyway.

March 2008
from my back yard, high up on a flint ridge in the Ozarks

So on Christmas, I won't be cooking much, won't be going anywhere, and will likely be focused on the Mo Creatures server and the Doctor Who special. It's looking like we won't be getting fiber hooked up by Christmas like originally planned, the crews are going a little slower now after breaking water lines twice, and every home will get two visits between strategically mapping best hookup and then testing actual hookup once the lines are finally all in the ground. So between electrical brownouts and weather affecting my router, work crews blipping my existing wifi here and there (radio interruption is horrible around here, doesn't take much at all when your neighborhood is laid out along a flint ridge), and my usual chaotic real time interruptions because life and people and stuff, I'll likely be popping on and off, afk-ing, and intermittently checking my social medias on my phone all through Christmas Day.

March 2009
also from my backyard

Well, that's about it for now. Maybe I'll try to share more pix through 2018. Hope you guys are having fairly decent holiday seasons, and if it's stupid and hard, let's just keep ourselves distracted and busy and checking in, ok? I'm sticking around, and I'm already slamming 2018 up against the wall and telling it I'm the boss of me, not the whimsies and fates of a world around me freaking out over every little thing. 💗 

lyrics

experience distortion

I started this hours ago and keep forgetting about it.

Today was the good kind of brain melt. I've been in partial shut down all day, which is kinda like my brain being a roomba, kinda just bumping around, actually getting things done but very randomly and not always coherently. Since I'm kind of cleaning off part of my hard drive, here, have some random screenshots. I'll start with last night's #latenightmovie.

I don't know why I'm such a packrat. I'm like a compulsive digital hoarder. I steel my will every once in awhile and dump a lot of stuff.

I still blame Mrs. M.

Whoever wrote that script is guilty of something in real life, I just know it.

Creating worlds is like an addiction. Seeding new single player world names and resetting the defaults makes me feel like a minecraft junkie. One of these days I'm going to wind up custom building something so ridiculous that I'll disappear and you guys will never see me again.

Yes, Gary Graham actually looked at a post in my Lexxperience group. This was awhile back. I don't know if anyone else really noticed, no one said anything. I think most people are pretty oblivious.

Oh, nothing *coughcough*. Just something off a stat tracker. Move along.

I feel so cool when I see this.

Seriously, cracks me up. What are the odds that this part of that post out of hundreds would wind up next to that stat number?

I keep saying I can see back yards. Satellite view and then google street view is pretty sweet. Please figure out how to use your proxies. Or not. I really don't care. I'm just a freakazoid who loves maps. Be aware, though, that it's pretty rare to get a real street address like this, and that once I do, I can look up the floor plans and value of your home, among other things. I mention once in awhile being able to 'see' people sitting in parking lots reading through post after post on one of my blogs. If I, a NON monetized blogger can see stuff like that just running a tracker, and timestamp your day out and even know where you work or go to school, which is really super rare nowadays, then YOU need to join the rest of us here in the future and realize how unprotected your tech and personal information are from fraud and possibly actual theft.

I think the biggest surprise I ran into this week was someone not knowing North Korea buzzed Japan again this month. That's a really good article, by the way. I think that timeline of developing nuclear potential is pretty spooky.

Wild gear change, if you aren't hip yet to the mandela effect, here's a quickie.


The only problem I have with this phenomenon is that they're blaming CERN. I've been bringing stuff like this up for YEARS.

Example- I had a fit one year about what I thought was a bible quote. Linus quoted a bible verse to Charlie Brown, and it's not even real. I could have sworn that was really there. This is from one of my Surveypalooza posts.
"I don’t know why I think I remember a bible verse about a prophet telling an evil king to go back to bed for another hour so his people can get some relief, but whatever it was impressed me when I was younger. I haven’t been able to find it, and when stuff like this happens it feels all Matrix-y, like something changed, and maybe I really do remember something because my brain didn’t completely readjust. Or like maybe time travel is real and people really do go back and change little things in history. I remember when I was a preteen crawling through the hay gathering eggs, was suddenly gripped with the weird thought that when I come back out, everything was changed, and I didn’t know who the president was. That was back in the 70′s, I had never seen any scifi like that, had never seen a Twilight Zone, etc. I have a cousin who experiences stuff like that, too, said one day in grade school he was terrified because the teacher handed him back a paper with a good grade on it, and he *knew* he didn’t do that work, and walking home after school through a vacant lot he freaked out about a tree being gone, and his sister said there was never a tree there. Either he and I drift through parallel lives, or things really do change, or we’re crazy, and my psychologist has assured me I’m not crazy. Anyway, it really bothers me that I can’t ever find that bible verse. If anyone else knows what I’m talking about, ~please~ put it in my comments. Otherwise I can only assume I’m on my way to early Alzheimer’s or something. :edit: 6-3-14 Someone reminded me that was Linus ‘quoting’ to Charlie Brown."
Ok, go try finding that quote now in any context. I can't even find Linus saying it. Good luck.

My personal point of view on experience distortion (I just coined that, don't know if it's a real thing, not seeing it used much) is that so many of us have actually been through it in some form without realizing it that a good half of our entertainment industry is actually (and quite comfortably) based on it. We so readily except the weird in our fiction that we expect it. If we lived in a universe where the weird couldn't ever happen at all, we wouldn't be able to conceive it in the first place to wonder about it. Our universe is wonderfully weird, and I love it.

One could argue it's our brains that are weird (and even faulty), and plenty of observation and research has gone into reality and perception and how our brains miss quite a lot going on around us (we aren't adapted to see infrared or hear higher and lower sounds than we do, for example), and time distortion is a real thing based on drug and med reactions and brain injuries, and of course there are memory jags and all kinds of stuff. I often feel like my brain runs too many diagnostics, because I get a bit of deja vu like it's on microsecond feedback loop, or like I even just felt a time break or jump or alteration, and I know from living in a brain like this that I can't count on my perceptions to be correct about reality around me. I have also seen false memories happen in other people during or after traumatic events, and it's really quite spooky to talk to them like that because they are otherwise perfectly sane and normal and you could never convince them something didn't happen that way when you actually have 2 other witnesses kind of thing. So I pretty much take everything with a few grains of salt, as it were. What gets really spooky is when a person has two memories of one event and can't tell which one is correct. I have a memory like that from my childhood.

So the whole mandela effect thing isn't CERN, and it's not new. This kind of stuff has been going on time out of mind, and thousands of years of humanity is so full of weird and creepy stories that it seems awfully lame to blame CERN.

What I HAVE noticed is that social media makes the whole reaction cascade go rabid very quickly. Before twitter and facebook, it just went in slower motion in email group shares and forums. Now that we can chatter real time with so many, it's like ignorance just explodes left and right, and logic gets drowned out very quickly in the madness and mayhem. How many times has some jerk posted that some celebrity died and they're not dead. But so many people share it so quickly that no one believes that person is actually still alive. We've become so death-obsessed that we can't seem to share quickly enough, to mourn hard enough, like it's all some big ocean current we get pulled into. Whether a person really died or not, that current pulls so many people under, and now I'm literally hearing from all sides that 2017 has been the worst year EVER. Even mental health professionals are saying this.

NOPE. I am several decades old, and we've definitely had worse years. We're all aging, we're all heading for death's door, and the rest of our lives will be spent watching out for who dies next. Really??? Guys, I was in high school when Elvis died. There are so many stories about how he's not dead, etc. And John Denver? Conspiracy theories galore, but the truth actually really was pilot error. So many brains get so swept up in the fervor of emotional tide that we collectively develop false memories. That's a real thing. WE ARE OUR OWN MANDELA EFFECT. Besides, Berenstain/Berenstein- I see so many typos everywhere I go, like on billboards, in newspapers, and it's common to see copyright ripoffs with slightly changed logos or names. That notwithstanding, I love that video up there and I'm going to check it out some more. I wish I lived in a place like that, where reality changes from room to room.

It's all fluid. All of our realities are always in motion. There is no 'truth' that we can prove beyond the shadow of a doubt, and there never has been. I hate to agree with Jim Carrey, but we really do make up what we think is truth in a universe we can barely even see. Aside from Plato's Allegory of the Cave (that just threaded every post I ever made here with the word Plato in it), I'm not sure we're smart enough to be discussing how smart we are.

I've otherwise been in a really quiet mood lately.

superfans

Here are the holidays, yay! I'm on that holiday slide, keeping my arms and legs tucked in at all times while the blur goes by me in loops and gut wrenching drops, and somehow I'm still coherently available when needed. I'm otherwise wondering how nearly 2 weeks just went by me when September took a-EV-er, as Bunny says.


One of the things that saves holidays for many of us is all the new coming out. New toys, new gadgets, new movies. Lotta new. We need all this new before the Big Sad comes after the holidays, and suddenly it's taxes and payments and failing resolutions and a whole other year to watch deflate.


Some of us don't get into all that. I keep my inner world pretty flat. I watch people all around me go through bipolar swings that make my actual real diagnosed derp look like fluffball pancakes. I could have said rainbows and kittens, but I'm hungry, so you get pancakes. Anyway, holidays kinda do that, mass seasonal mood swings and most of us are in some kind of tandem.


Name it. Sports has Superbowl coming, and then March Madness. Entertainment has a slew of awards shows lining up after all the new movies come out for holidays. Mass inebriation, mass misdirection, mass brainlock, anything to keep us going. Some of us tune out (or never tune in), but many of us are locked into step on the medias, talking about the same things, kinda doing the same things, going through the ups and downs together.


Some of us in the background see all the things. We already know how to hang on. We sleuth through the days, lurk through the nights. We find all the things we ever wanted to know about players, celebrities, people we talk to on the medias. We're really good at digging up every stray word, picture, thought about whatever our obsession is.


My obsession is NOT Benedict. He's just a diversion. For me or for you, some of you wonder. lol


Superfans make a lot of what we find on the webs possible. They rabidly collect and sometimes channel for other fans. They tend to share what they love with the whole world. They are there with content in the long dark nights when no one else is up and you can't sleep. They give google and flipboard stuff to hand to you in search bars. They light up the night with stuff.


I am one of the superfans. True, I don't stir up content like I should on a more often basis, but I stick out the most in my fandom. Other superfans in other fandoms and I keep little eyes on each other. We watch each other's obsessions, we admire from afar, we notice details. Sometimes we lurk each other, possibly even casually bump into one another briefly somewhere. We're careful not to overstate our presence to one another, but we know each other knows we know they know we know, you know?


If you are having a hard time through holidays and very much need something new, possibly a very distracting distraction, I hang out on the Mo Creatures minecraft multiplayer server. I am Yablo there, and I like to build stuff and collect a few cool pets. It keeps me sane, it keeps my mind moving, and it keeps me interacting. You can be anonymous there and go kill crazy badass mobs, or peacefully fly around on a manticore enjoying your mod pack. You can say Hi, Yablo, and I'll say hello =).


Holidays are hard. Zone time is hard to find sometimes. Minecraft saves me from the pit of despair, the swamp of sadness, and the bog of eternal stench. If you are stuck in brainlock and need an escape, come find me. Let's play.

1600

Let's see, what have I been doing this week... I've passed 1600 hours on server. You guys coming in on mobile don't see my gamer banner.

I fixed up my MS solitaire with a minecraft mesa background at sunset and a floating autumn leaves screensaver to look like a desolate planet with falling embers while I play. I find it soothing.

Just finished #latenightmovie with the gang.

I found myself content curated into a page on nerf gun sales.

I haven't been on twitter much, but still checking in.

Main thing is we're not dropping too many eggs or chainsaws around here, although we are extra very tired this week. Bunny's mama is taking on extra shifts at hospital, my surgery has been scheduled for Tuesday, and mostly I'm just getting my house in order and my player shop stocked for down time. And naturally, while we're so busy, deer are practically walking up and knocking on the door during deer season. Bunny says Papa can't shoot one.

I think I'll be taking a nap tomorrow.