-Mobile continuation from Xanga blog PinkyGuerrero, this blog is PinkyGuerrero, ongoing continuation at blogs Pinky & Janika & Basically Clueless & PinkFeldspar, in that order.
-Most of the graphics and vids click to sources.
-Personal blog for Janika Banks.
 photo README2.gif


Wednesday, September 30, 2015

the Question

I think I've figured out that the flash drive thing bothering me so much was because I went through actual fail for several years. One of the reasons I started hoarding info on tech was because the brain crash was unbelievably sucky and tech became an extention of my brain, holding elusive thoughts and glitchy memories in place for me. And here I am on the other side now apparently almost traumatized by the shock of having gone through it. I don't think I could really see the overall emotional impact until that flash drive fail happened.

It's one thing to cut off feelings (all my life) or even memories here or there (blocking is a survival tactic), but it's another to have systems fail because of viral infection hitting an already faulty nervous system and being left with glitchy old strings of Christmas tree lights. I spent years rebuilding and reconnecting through a haze of meds and seemingly neverending illness, and about the time I've finally started feeling like I'm patched back up and clearing the debris field, I go through a very symbolic memory crash with that flash drive. Thank goodness it was only a stick and not my brain this time. All the same, I've been reeling through several days of flash backs and emotions, and even though I'm actually quite up for the most part, I'm realizing I've never really talked about what it was like back then. The closest I came to being really honest in public was blinking in the light on my spaz blog. Up to that point, not a soul in internet land and all the fandoms I'd been in ever had a clue. No one who met me after 2004 ever met the me before brain fail.

As I've recovered my cognitive function, I've also recovered some memories and reconstructed more out of a pile of rubble covered in brain fog. This last year has been marvelous and thrilling like I haven't felt in 11 years. Anybody read Flowers for Algernon? That. That was me. Only I started off with this brilliant IQness and a nearly perfect ACT score and plummeted to the black depths of not being able to count a little bit of cash buying a burger. I asked bank tellers and cashiers to count my money for me for several years. I couldn't dial a phone number without help. Nope, not one sign of any kind of brain damage, or blood vessel problem, or cancer, or anything else, just function loss and some outlying trigeminal nerve damage. And even now, every time I get a simple cold virus or even just too tired teetering on the edge of flare up, I go all glitchy again.

I feel like Rip Van Winkle. I've gotten to wake up for awhile and everything has changed, and I've gotta get all over the program before I fall out of step again, because surely this can't last. I feel like I'm racing the sad, and the more I can look back and see it now, the harder I run. And I don't think this is an irrational fear. I've already got four really big strikes against me and was barely into my 40's when the brain crash happened. I can still hardly believe sometimes it's all coming back on again.

Lupus and the Brain
Diabetes and Memory Loss
Lyme Disease and Cognitive Impairements
Fibro Fog and Dyscognition

Memory glitch, loss, fail, whatever you want to call it is such an incredibly sad and lonely thing to go through. It's bad enough living with prosopagnosia and not remembering faces, but to not remember times and events and which holiday is coming up next is like feeling lost all the time. And how do you say this to anyone? How do you tell people in the wake of your impact that you're flying blind in a ship that lost its core memory? Big nod of thanks to Douglas Adams for providing frames of reference via Grebulons and Hactar the Krikkit war computer. The whole Janika Banks tagline thing is about surviving epic fail. "I asploded. I'm ok. Like the Central Intelligence Core of the Krikkit War Computer, I'm everywhere, in the mists all around you." Because that's what it's been like since 2004, leaving people in the aspienado wake of my brain fail impact. You guys realize it's the mice's faults for building Deep Thought in the first place, right? (I'm also epstein-barr positive from an actual mouse bite. How ironic is that.)

I feel like I've got to say all the things before I can't again.
(Lyrics- Anni B Sweet)

Tuesday, September 29, 2015

shout out post to @VickiAddesso

I get so distracted chasing rabbit trails through search engines that I can't quite remember how I got here, but I've been wondering if someone made an app to Pinky blog for sport because of a particular weird stat thingy, so I searched 'pinkyguerrero app', right? I've mentioned before that there are 12-14 Pinkys out there, so I don't automatically float to the top in searches unless I use word combos that more specifically point my direction.

Anyway, this popped up three pages into the search

and I'm all like, ok that's weird because it doesn't go back to a tweet, and sure enough, it doesn't, but why does it have twitter handles all over it? Here's a good one for you, Vicki- Did you know this is how much your book costs in India? I have no idea what the exchange rate is. Click to check it out yourself.

The .in part of the address, according to wikipedia, is this- .in is the Internet country code top-level domain (ccTLD) for India. The domain is operated by INRegistry under the authority of NIXI, the National Internet Exchange of India. INRegistry was appointed by the government of India. (Here is the original author page.)

I'm just really super curious how in the world that Amazon book page wound up associated in a search with a bunch of SnarkAlecs' names listed along, more specifically, the random retweet gang. As long as they find you, right?

And then just two more down from that is this page where I left a comment.

Anyway, apps. I tightened up my search a little to include the country that amusingly keeps coming in on the same post (because it's weirding me out to no end that it shows up on blogger stats but seems invisible to statcounter, google analytics AND google web tools, yeah, which makes it even weirder if blogger is able to pick it up, because blogger is a google thing, right?)

And I ran right into a 'expired and deleted dotcoms' list (if 'a' refers to list, do I hafta use 'an' because the next word starts with a vowel, even though it's demarcated as a different part of the sentence? These and many other things send me on wild goose chases) with my blog name nestled right in the middle of these guys. You can click the snip to go to the list if you want to see what else is on it.


Aaaand, guess what, that was the easiest purchasing and pointing I ever did. GoDaddy is awesome.

So I blame this post and Vicki for me owning my Pinky domain now. And this is how most of my public growth has come about, accidents and synchronicities that stack up like Lego blocks. I blame SnarkAlecs in general, plus Myke the instigator, and that cool guy who first linked me to his awesome scifi site because of Lexx and introduced me to Myke in the first place.

Pinky is a thing.

I just noticed the time again. I really need to keep bouncing around doing stuff.

You guys knew there's an official Sherlock youtube channel now, right? They loaded this one last week.

Still counting down at #Shezzaday 2.

access denied

Kinda playing around, call it an assessment day. Coming up on end of September, official end of summer and the start of the holiday shopping season, how is Pinky blog doing?

This is my second most clicked out exit link over the last 30 days after my G+ account. Click the snip if you want to check it out. (I can't believe I'm clicked more than Ben.)

Third most clicked out is my original Lexx blog, bless your hearts.

According to statcounter, there were over 300 visits that lasted longer than an hour over the last month alone, and guys, they're not me. Thanx for sticking around, I hope you enjoyed, here's coffee and a coupon for free tacos... Sorry, I can't really hand out refreshments. Maybe one of these days I'll be able to add extra perks.

700 of the last 30 days' visits came from direct links, so blessings on all your devices for those bookmarks. May you never know tech fail. I can't decide what kind of phone I should go to next, so I'm still wringing every last breath out of my old Droid Incredible 4G LTE. Statcounter is telling me Apple iphones are a full third of my device views (3% were ipads), and full fourth were a variety of Samsung Galaxies, plus a bunch more. I'm learning more about devices from my stats than I ever could from a phone store.

I can see that 3% of you see Pinky blog on truly gigantic screens. Go you! I want MOAR, too.

Mobile is the most popular viewing by far (just a smidge under 50%), and Chrome beat out Firefox by 66 views, out of 1086 views this last month. Close competition there. (Blogger stats disagree, says Firefox beat out Chrome by 1420, so statcounter might not be picking up some of the views that blogger does, obviously.) A few of you are on tablets. I was very surprised to see my Lexxperience blog being viewed through a gaming system, but I'm not seeing that on Pinky blog.

I'm not going to sift out country rank (statcounter and blogger wildly disagree, partly because statcounter lumps Russian-esque-ish and other non-American countries around a little differently than blogger, blogger is awesome for breaking it down to every little country), because so many views come in through translators (Mountain View hits), and so many others bounce around host/carrier proxies (my phone pops me in from several different states on any given day), and even when I use a really good IP geolocator and break it down to approximate genuine location, it's not properly tracked in stats, so view counts can wildly skew when I break it down to country/state/city. As far as I can tell, quite a lot of you come in from various fandoms scattered around the world, which is cool. If I dig down, I can cross reference your devices with timestamps, but that is so much work that I've only done it a couple of times to see if that could give me a truer location measurement, and yes, it does. Don't worry, I can't see your house or address, I have no idea what your names are or how many pets or kids you have, but I CAN see some of you logging in from work, so please don't get caught and lose your jobs.

According to statcounter, these are the top popular page loads over the last month. They don't match the blogger top month (which you can see in the right side column), but who cares. Blogger doesn't give me this much internal info, which I took out and you can't see, sorry.

Wo, I just figured out how to resize someone else's table. Now I'm afraid to toggle back to 'compose' in case the tr's screw up like spaghetti, given what happened in my last post. Whee, so now the rest will be done on the style sheet. By the way, if you're here on the main page and not a post link, this table might fuzz out the table settings in the next post down. I'm discovering that blogger has little fits about tables.

Nearly 97% of search hits come through Google, Yahoo and Bing duke out the other 3%.

I think I just used up the coffee in my brain. I need to get busy doing way more moving around stuff. Hope you guys are having a good week, and I really do hope you run into some free tacos somewhere. You deserve it.

#Shezzaday 4

Time to play around with tables again.

the feels
Someone in a fandom always gets to me.

the fun
You guys don't see me learning lots of stuff about tr's. I had cell space all over the place like I was going all dodecahedron or something. Wo, someone actually made a dodec dress. I was pairing 'dodecahedron Sherlock' in a search to see what would happen. Click the pic to see more.

lol, 'blocklock'.

My 'compose' and 'html' views are still looking drastically different. Let's see what an iframe does now. Ah yes, it still throws ye olde stylin curve ball. fixfixfix Nothing is working, iframe likes to snuggle. Hang on. Ok, back to Ps.

the fuss

Ok, I'm throwing out the alt thing, maybe I'll do more with that next time. Aaaaaand I just jumped out of my table. Hang on. The blogger table tutorial neglects to mention how blogger mangles the code every chance it gets, turns it into spaghetti every time I toggle. Oh, this is cute, what I'm doing right now just got thrown to the top of the page above the table. Wow. Hang on. Like pulling teeth trying to get my third cell back into place. I did it, yay!!!

Resisting all urges to toggle back to 'compose'. Only check in 'preview'.

Ok, break time. Only spent an hour and 15 minutes on this. I need to go make some coffee. There is no way I'm opening this back up, so if there are typos, get over it.

Monday, September 28, 2015

Plans R Us

I know, I seem really scattered again lately, don't I? It's this new roof thing.

I had a great morning, fabulous workout, was thinking "I need a PLAN" after my workout was done while I was relaxing on the floor, and immediately got up and headed to bed. ~psyche~ The sheets are in the wash. Stabbed in my own back. And how could I even forget, I'd *just* put them in. Click the next one for cute cat physics.

So I am begrudgingly yelling FOCUS! GET TO WORK! at myself and throwing darts at plans. Which plan should I work on today?

I have so many plans umbrella'd under "TAKE OVER THE WORLD". There's "Continued Reallocation of Spaceship Space", "Start Over Again on the Flash Drive Thing", "Find My Kitchen Counter Before Christmas Gets Here", and the ever-elusive "Wrap My Head Around the Holiday Slide Chores, Again". Ooh, I know- "Get the Pile Behind My Chair Ready for my Sister Tomorrow." And I could always work on "Throw the Rugs in the Washer and Do the Floors". Yeah, those last two. Plus "Get Stuff Out of the Freezer and Cook a Couple Meals Ahead."

This next click is an awesome waste of time, thousands of pages to flip through in case you're stuck in a waiting room or something.

I'm in one of those weird I need a friend but I don't wanna talk phases where it would be easier to drive around shooting nerf guns at people's heads in parking lots and speeding off (my drinking days were baaaaaaad), and then go hang out eating ice cream and looking through movie rentals. The days when I actually did something with my life, like waste it instead of all this reorganizing my spacetime continuum stuff.

I need a Mycroft organizing me. That kind of a friend. Someone who gets the PLAN and knows which of my buttons to push.

At any rate, I must go shake a few rugs. If I actually really had staff, I'd go all Daniel Tosh-esque on them and have them make inspiring evil villain vids, I srsly need a #TeamWells.

if Pinky could go back in time, it would be 2007

There is no aspie in #TimeTeam. That's a bad multilayered pun/joke that is more awkward than punny. Older fandom Lexx fans who check on Pinky blog can probably appreciate how delicate fandom politics are around being privately asked by an actor to unofficially jump into a public funding campaign push only days after another actor privately made sure I'm minding my P&Qs because one little fan (who has been super pushing me to get more all over an even different actor) got excited and said the wrong thing at the wrong time to the wrong actor and I watched an entire fandom do the *hush*stepback thing and suddenly numbers dropped off.

I'm a sore thumb in a worldwide fandom. Point blank. I love all you guys and all the things, and the past is the past, but that doesn't mean I can waltz back in and 'take over'. We all know that. I especially know that, not because I 'learned a lesson' (let us not misconstrue again), but because I have learned respect. I've mentioned my long experience in and out of fandoms.

Fandoms are like college parties, very territorial, sometimes irrational, but mostly loads of cute and sparkly and ready for FUN. When fandoms grow big enough to sweep the actors along with their own tides, it gets amusing, like how Benedict fandoms are such a huge deal (way bigger than the Johnny Depp fandom now). There is nothing on God's green earth that any entertainment production involving Benedict can do about it except be ready for damage control and interface as kindly as possible, because every person standing in the fandom spotlight between the fans and Benedict becomes a permanent part of the wild and crazy world fame thing whether they want it or not. TV interviewers have learned to capitalize on this, of course. Worldwide fandoms are bread and butter, gravy, and icing all at once, instantly spiking ratings, selling out tickets, and hoarding merch.

I'm a fansite owner in a much tinier world fandom that doesn't have this kind of collective power, so what power does arise becomes very political, and people get eaten. That's the law of fandoms, very Amazonian tribal kind of stuff, hafta make the proper sacrifices and appropriate gifts and homages so heads won't wind up on sticks kind of thing. It's common, and even kind of cute when you look at it like a sociologist studying group interaction on the webs. Makes for fascinating soap opera-y entertainment when things get boring.

TTIR isn't my OTP, although I really want to see it become a thing because it sounds like an awesome show. I am not staff or spokesperson, just a fan floating around several fandoms while I work on my own stuff. It's not really my place to jump in as cheerleader rallying troops after the kind of debacle I've already been in blowing up around me innocently doing that. My place now is Pinky. Which, very surprisingly, has blown ALL my other stuff away 3X over just in the last 3 months. For me, that's a really good sign. It means when aspienado touches down and starts blowing the world around, I might actually get a pretty good wind going. The last thing I need or want is Pinky getting all tangled up in other people's stuff. So the best I can do, I think, is just simply ask if there is something specific I can do that is helpful and use the KISS method. (Keep it simple...)

I'm understanding lately why there are demarcation lines and rigid control regimes in fandoms. All it takes is one person misunderstanding something from one other person (regardless of motivation) and saying something inappropriate that freaks people out. The definition of inappropriate is an actor telling a fan to tell another fan on a public timeline that they're full of shit without having a clue of what's really going on, what really went on in the past, and what is really going on in the future. You guys need to understand that social media making it easier to contact 'famous' people and the giddiness of being interacted with isn't the end-all beat-all of fandom. If that's all it takes to spoil someone else's attempts to leverage fandom loyalty into new product and merch because fans become afraid to stand out or speak up because boats keep rocking, then it's really not my place to play cheerleader and push a collection plate for a campaign.

What I am saying is I want to see my favorite actors keep making new things and I'm not afraid of people thinking I'm ridiculous when misunderstandings erupt. Because I ~am~ ridiculous. I'm super aspie Pinky blogging about world fandoms, watching a Lexx post go viral in a country with Sharia law, getting more personal click outs on a dormant FB page than Lexx does collectively, and hefting more actual klout than ALL of the Lexx actors put together. Sorry, that's just the way it is.

So here's the deal. You want to see a really cool time travel TV series? Would you like to actually help production meet some goals? (I've already talked about a few things that go into production challenges.) We're living in a new age of more real time interaction between actors and fans on social media, and the world is flipping toward viewers having more control over the content they want to see in entertainment by investing personally and getting in on the behind the scenes action in real time. So let's say you're an Ellen Dubin fan, or a Cas Anvar fan, or a Sebastian Spence fan (etc), you can actually be part of their real lives and their real jobs in real time simply by following them on social media and becoming part of the #TimeTeam. You don't have to take sides retweeting Pinky on twitter and facebook, you don't have to show up around ME at all and risk being mistaken for supporting me when you're really supporting 'Giggy', right?

click to subscribe and follow developments on youtube

Sunday, September 27, 2015

plowing face on the dance floor

Google asked if I wanted this translated, lol. Click this snip if you're interested in twitter plugins.

What's really fun is getting to see Pinky blog in other languages when I check out link referrals. Click this to see it for realz.

I know, most of you really don't care. It's ok. I'm still getting over dumping 197 videos into oblivion. I don't really need to talk about it or anything, I'm just... ug. I've noticed I seem to get through ug days better when I go back through my blogs and see what was happening on this day through the years, so here we go.

omg #facepalm this must be cosmic let's dump the internet day. This is the day in 2007 that I created a cool popout that I no longer have. Here is the intro.

I need some serious distraction.  Maybe I'll go play with some more artwork.  I figured out how to project out of a background.  This isn't the greatest because I took the entire motorcycle out instead of leaving the back wheel in, but then the leg would've been less dramatic.
(skip deleted pic)
This was the original.  And he's not gay, just a cross dresser.  Probably the richest cross dresser in the world.

2008- Lengthy boring details about microwaving a pumpkin and slightly less boring family gossip, but this is all you get. I find it comforting because it's so rare to run across.

I almost need to pinch myself and make sure this day is real.  Everything is actually going the way I want it to, there have been no interruptions, and I actually feel so good and so relaxed it's incredible.

2009- Notes after a family get together included this bit.

I have been talking with my psychologist about the Asperger's tendencies on my dad's side, and psychologically speaking, those pictures expressed Aspgerger obsessions so well that I bet I could do a thesis for a PhD in sociology on autistic traits in family trees.  If I had taken a few stacks of pictures of my chickens to show back to them, it would have been no different from what I was put through... Yes, I even got to see his rock collections...  The irony of being able to see what they can't in spite of my own Asperger's obsessions and deficits kinda has me reeling in a funny little daze. 

There's lots more but for the sake of peace, I'm not going to make it public. Remember how I mentioned we mimicked a Harriet the Spy slam book in middle school? I'm sure a few nosy people would love to see observations I make after family get togethers. ANY and ALL of them. I play no favorites.

2010- Besides a sick chicken and a stray cat, this day that year was pretty unremarkable.

No plans yet today.  Might sit out on the deck till I get too cold.  Need to rummage around the freezer and take inventory.  Have a week to finish a library book.  May have to organize a few thoughts this week before October comes.  September was quite a big detour.

2011- September 27 must be cosmic bubble-brain day for me or something.

Cranking through a massive load of dishes.  Staying in pajamas.  I defy the cosmos to pull me out of my house today.  Well, I'll go let chickens out, but you know what I mean.  >=l

Contemplating a great big salad after the dishes are done.  *drool*

I am gloriously empty brained.  Just floating around the house doing things.

@ 12:40 p.m.

Cake experiment.  Found a better red velvet recipe than what I already had, in the oven now, split into two little pans.  Left the red out, so it's just velvet.    Figure me and Scott can try one, freeze the other one back for the party.

About to plug in another Harry Potter movie.  Eggs on boiling.  Still some dishes left, work on those in a little bit.  Chicken out thawing to boil up tomorrow.  Probably frozen breaded fish for supper, maybe broccoli and carrots.

I was a dufe and a half yesterday.  Had bought a new head of cauliflower, threw the old one away, made my salad.  Looked high and low for the new one today, apparently I threw it away, too...  What a dork.

Ok, here I go again.

2012- This is it. I'll leave you to wonder what in the world Gozer is all about.

Mild crash and burn today, prolly cuz Gozer is getting ready to make a grand entrance. Got my walk in and some laundry done, but that's about it. All plans disintegrated, I'm in full blown spaz.

2013- This is the closest thing I have to a blog post that week over at syfydesigns during the big Xanga server move. That one always cheers me up.

2014- Here's the day after today last year near the end of 17 days on prednisone wherein we learn I am the ominous Pink Shadow and that my Mennonite hippie dad turned 85.

2015- That's today!

So basically, we've learned that this is one of my cosmic null days, where I'm in boring stall-out mode and awesome work sometimes disappears. I should mark next year's calendar and just stay in bed.

I mean, is it any different than scanning a pile of old scrapbooks into digital, handing them all back to owners and relinquishing access, and then accidentally deleting the entire digital folder with no way to get it back before you've backed it up anywhere? All that work. Or maybe it's like spending an hour writing out your soul in what it possibly your best writing session ever and suddenly losing electric before you hit 'save'. I'm sure you guys have all been through something like that, where something really big that you spent quality time on just went *poof* and there's just no recovering it, and you spend the rest of the day not really in tears, not really kicking anything, just an incredibly dull kind of sad feeling that won't go away and nothing around you can pull you out of the funk.

I didn't create any of those videos. None of them were of anyone I know personally. The only significance they had at all was such a layered personal one that I can barely even explain it, but anyone who has been following Pinky blog over the last 6 months probably gets it. Everything I was trying to save represented my aspienado emotional journey finally figuring out how to bridge over from something very horribly sad in my past to something else in my past that helped turn a key to me dealing with it and then the waking up I've been going through finding all my pieces and putting them back together this year. I know all that isn't really gone. I know the vids aren't the journey. But the symbolic loss alone layered over my very real life having been teetering on such a fragile edge for so long while I race time to solve my own equation before I go *poof* myself feels kind of like a gut punch. And I did it to myself because I wasn't being careful. It's kind of like collecting things that make us feel good, like a few autumn leaves or flowers, pictures, pieces of art, clothes we like. That's what the vids were to my head, pieces of furniture in my mind, art on my walls, flowers in my vase. My feelings finally out where I can see them and understand them. And I was an idiot and didn't follow my own protocols for back up.

I've always had difficulty processing my emotions in real time. I'm usually on a 3-day lag. Maybe that's why I dig incongruity, I generally live that way all the time in my head.

Anyway, not the end of the world.

imagine if Davros had insect essence (or, if anyone tells me to breathe I will block the f#@k out of you)

@ 7ish p.m. Saturday night

Had a little trubba concentrating and pulling my bwains together today, so I kinda messed around in GWT again, can't seem to import my keyword/click report in for my Yablo blog, even though I google verified it as a property last year and the crawlers seem well acquainted with it. I mean, it mostly just sits there, rarely blog over there.

Pinky blog gets GWT just fine because blogger is auto-verified, but even though it gets hit like 10,000 times more than Yablo, the crawl doesn't look that much more impressive for the huge load of stuff I have over here.

So I thought maybe if I add Yablo to my Pinky google analytics property batch and get a tracking ID, maybe that'll help, but it's not (I forgot WP isn't keen on the script code and I'd hafta insert it manually into the source code, bleah), and then I was all Oh, yeah, I've got GWT on my dotcom (which is also wordpress), how did I do that? Well, I think I just waited 24 hours and it kicked in. But I keep getting this message for Yablo- "Google Webmaster Tools data: The user xxxx no longer has access to your Google Webmaster Tools account. We are unable to download new keyword data. Please try to repeat the instructions from step 1."

Um. Yeah. Repeat ad nauseam.

Just realized Doctor Who started 15 minutes ago. Ta.


Was anyone else keenly disappointed that Clara-Dalek wasn't a permanent loop back around to Eleven? I got this excited. I'm serious. I have no problem whatsoever admitting that my evil villain inner soul got seriously turned on thinking this is the moment she winds up being buried alive with the daleks and forgets where she is.

In case I seriously wrecked your day and you need to get away from me and drown in Cumberbabble, here's an hour of him blabbing away. Embedding disabled by request.


@ 5 a.m. Sunday morning

And now a tutorial on why one must never EVER click 'move to folder' again, EVER.

Boing awake at 3:15, make coffee, internet is down (right before everyone wakes up to a big football day), I'm all Heyyyy, this will be a great time to keep cleaning off my hard drive! And I plug my cute little 32 gig Toshiba USB 2.0 stick in (the package smartly states "Inventor of FLASH MEMORY"), and go to town for about 45 minutes moving 197 files (800+ MB) onto this cute little stick while I listen to that long Ben compilation I linked up there yesterday.

I've done this many times on other sticks, never had a single problem.

This time there was a problem.

Always check your files, kids. ALWAYS LOOK AT WHAT YOU JUST DID. I got distracted from @bonenado pacing around waking up (earlier than he gets up on work days, so annoying) and didn't go through my usual OCD checklist, went ahead and pulled the stick and did a restart, plugged back in and wtf-ness popped up in the form of this

so I did this

and when I opened the files up I got this.

The whole stick is blank except for 2 folder names.

When I first started salvage 3 years ago, I was super suspicious of tech fail all. the. time. because I've been through so much fail. I used to 'copy to folder' and then go back and laboriously check everything and plug the stick in and out making sure I HAD what I copied, then go back again and laboriously delete the original files, and then and ONLY THEN would I empty my recycle bin.

A few months ago I grew impatient and started moving straight to folder and it always worked just fine and cut out all the extra work, so I stopped checking. And today I'm vowing to go back to my old ways. I had collected months of stuff that is already being yanked off the internet, and apparently just spaced them right off the ship in one fell swoop in 45 minutes flat. Some of it is, in fact, irreplaceable, and the rest will take at least a solid week's worth of concentrated effort to track down and copy again if I stop absolutely everything and do nothing else. So I just added another ongoing background project to my ever-growing list of multitasking.

What can you do, right. I got a shower and thought about what kind of breakfast to make if Bunny shows up this morning.

So anyway, that title up there, if anybody wants to tag me on twitter with 'breathe' just to annoy me, I'll consider that a hug and reply with a #PinkyBlock 'thank you' and this little guy.

click to see where I came from

Well, that's IF I get internet back. Thursday @bonenado was all like you don't have to set your whole team now, you have till Sunday, because I always get my guys all set. After years of watching him super sweat it juggling last minute player switches on several fantasy teams right up to kickoff (which gets unbelievably tense when internet goes glitchy, which happens a lot in Mirkwood) (because he thinks it's sexy-sneaky to foil his opponents' assumptions about how he's playing his teams), I developed a better habit of just getting it all set right away and not worrying the rest of the weekend. We start every year out like this, he has to run over to my laptop and breathe down my neck with his eyeballs eating my screen up over my shoulder and telling me what to do until I yell at him

and it usually turns out I do a pretty decent job of managing my ONE team all by myself. I will bring this up even with my last breath- that one year I actually dropped from first place to nearly last over Thanksgiving weekend because he got into my team behind my back and rearranged all my players, trades and everything, thinking he was smarter than me. At first I assumed sabotage (he gets maniacally obsessed over fantasy football, so it's not that much of a stretch), but I found out later we were playing for money and he just never told me so he could keep mine if I won. Which makes the sabotage bomb even stupider, right? You can imagine me never letting him live that one down. So his obsession over my team every year is something I love to mock him with, sometimes put players in that freak him out just to set him off, and it bugs the crap outa him that I don't care if I lose doing it. Anyway, so this weekend is a double boof, first the stupid flash drive, and now repercussions of listening to his advice again about waiting to set my team if internet doesn't come back up because I can't get the app on my phone because #epicphonefail.

I'm actually really calm right now. I could almost go back to bed. Except I'm doing dishes and thinking about testing this stick again with some copying to see whether it's really a bad stick that I'll have to take back.

So the new roof is mostly done, just waiting on the guttering now. Scott's only complaint, which is an understandably pointedly strong one, is that they used our deer feeding area as a toilet, and one even left a t-shirt behind down there, so months of patient trust training is obliterated. They're probably eaten alive with chiggers now from going down there instead of taking real breaks and running to the gas station up the road, so I imagine they're paying for it.

@ 7:30 a.m.

Still no internet. Sounds like Bunny will be here soon. Wearing my cool new Nikes for home workouts. Home shoes never go outside so the soles stay cleaner.

Typical day. Way too much going on, mobile office tucked away in 4D space so keyboard death by liquids won't be a thing (wouldn't that be a magical emphasis on my day), MOAR COFFEE on, second breakfast coming up for gurlz, who will be here any minute, and then massive busy Bunny house party while I focus on the ongoing party of Holiday Slide. Need to get the next batch of cards ready to mail out, finalize a holiday grocery list for ALL THE THINGS, start sketching out a house plan kind of list so I can start prepping for a tree going up. Again, as usual, after all the deep cleaning I did on the prep this last week, I'm really glad I didn't do the floors yet, maybe get to them during the week. I was going to wash the rugs and everything but the roofers showed up, so there it went. Today will be messes galore, so no worries. And then there's the stuff collecting into a big pile behind my chair in the kitchen to hand off to a sister in a couple of days since I couldn't get down for Dad's birthday and bring it all myself. This house is like one long super slo-mo neverending excavation project. Sometimes I think back on the washer-sized box full of barbie stuff we had when the girls were younger and laugh a little. Who'da ever thunk I'd wish I had it all back? My mind reels around how more packratty we maybe should've been. No wonder my next door neighbor has another house on the other side of the block that he uses for storage. Must be nice.

The key thing to remember with my house is that we have no hallways. Everything opens right up on the center. There's no escape, no getting away, no reprieve, no personal space. It's like living in a meerkat den. Correction. Meerkat spaceship.

I'm obviously twiddling my thumbs till they get here. I should go kick back for a few precious minutes.


@ 9 a.m.

Back online, yay! Three of my guys are hurt already (ankle, groin, concussion), got my deck shuffled, and the gang just trundled out the door to Silver Dollar City.

Anyway, I was going to come back and say this morning that I'm #TeamDavros because he is so delightfully spectacularly evil, and I think he and Missy should hook up. Is anybody shipping those two yet? This pic clicks to that episode tweet feed.

Discussion- is Davros as evil as Mantrid? (Doctor Who vs Lexx) Them's fightin words. I bet Missy is... In fact, I'm counting on it.

I've got to wander off and soak in some of this peaceful bliss stuff before I try to do anything else.

Saturday, September 26, 2015

spoonie monster holiday mode

Today is recovery. Long week on pred (today is the last day), long day out yesterday (8 hours) avoiding the roofing noise. Started my morning trying to remember what I was going to do, and was like Oh, yeah, ~make coffee~. Cycled through that several times before coffee actually got made.

Stuff. Gonna meander through my day between keyboard and going back to bed. I feel like I'm in shock. Mostly just spoonie fatigue.

Scott got his flu shot while we were out yesterday. I hafta wait 9 more days till I see my dr because it'll be paid for, so I'm laying low and staying healthy till then. Loving these little pet skeletons from Walgreens, especially the cat. I'm not seeing them for online purchase, might be in store only.

Same item someone else demonstrates on youtube.

Wound up at Bass Pro for deer season prep, ran into this coolness. End of the Trail.

Got a text from Batman. Action figure artist at work.

We ran around doing errands most of the day so we wouldn't have to listen to the roofing noise, got home around 4ish, around dusk they packed up, plowed out our mailbox (sheered a 4x4 post set in cement right off), reinstalled it sufficiently (they seemed practiced with mailboxes), and took off. Now we're waiting on guttering. I got a picture of the quiet after they left.

@bonenado noticed they forgot their toilet paper.... +_+ *ew* I don't wanna know.

I guess I have a robe thing. I really like this one, too, worn by Wally the Caretaker in the new Minority Report series. I loved the show, loads of awesome very believable futuristic CGI, a lot of attention to detail in editing.

I'm in holiday mode. Just one big long smashy season now.

I think what strikes me most about this vid is how completely emotionless I feel listening to it. The song sounds angry or upsetting, but I think the reality is that there is a coldness behind all that, a place inside untouched by the wounding or rage. Eye of the storm, perhaps, simply observing. I've gone through so many awful things alienated from my own feelings that this piecing my own puzzle back together for Existential Aspie has been soul drenching. I confessed to my psychologist for the first time out loud to anyone EVER that I'm missing the end of fifth grade, and maybe several other childhood memories, which is a sickening realization for someone with a bit of an eidetic memory. I know exactly what kicked me out of my own head, those memories are permanently etched in lead crystal, so whoever I was finishing the fifth grade evidently didn't have to deal with it. It's taken me a long time to realize how experienced I am at breaking myself into pieces cutting feelings off, and that merging back over the years has been part of the confusion. I have very recently realized one of my experiences is an actual double memory, and I can't tell which one is right except to logically say that one of the memories shouldn't contain information I apparently am aware of if it never happened. This really has been the most interesting year. I'm too tired to feel theatrical so I'm sitting here staring like a rock, feeling kind of numby weird about the whole thing.

Friday, September 25, 2015


Got the call last night, said they'd be out there 'bright and early'. Scott is off on Fridays unless overtime, so I'm going into town with him this morning, avoid a few hours of noise and disturbance.

Scott got his fasting glucose checkup couple days ago and utterly failed this time, finally shot way over the 126 cut off into the 130s. He doesn't allow me in the doctor with him, but I'll be able to freely mock before and after.

I've had to put up with his holier-than-thou my DNA trumps yours for years, so now I get to rub it in his face if he winds up on metformin and has to deal with *cough* side effects *cough*. (In 2011 I was pulled back off over severe side effects in which I nearly dehydrated over just a few days, so I just count carbs and test a lot.)

So if you don't see me on the twitters or facebook, I'm either not home or I can't get online.

I missed the Heroes Reborn premiere last night because resolving a couple of tech issues about something else, but ran into tidbits of live tweet and can't wait to see it later today. I know Zach won't be back, but you know I'm a Sylar fan. This is the roof irl. Yeah, Sylar is the roof. We've been with this roof a long time. Definitely breaking up this time.

Thursday, September 24, 2015

content curation- source yourself

I. am. dying. This fun moment is a courtesy of Flipboard curating 'Janika Banks'.

What is Content Curation? (Click that link to learn really good stuff.)
"Unlike content marketing, content curation does not include generating content, but instead, amassing content from a variety of sources, and delivering it in an organized fashion... Many of us have been participating in content curation for years without even knowing it. Anyone with a Facebook feed or Twitter stream has seen content curation first hand."

I've been experimenting with my own style of curating my own created content for a long time in combination with personally vetting other content I find all over the internet to share with my readers in my own shared feeds. I've played with everything from simple tagging systems to manually overseeing content gathering in my own paper.li. I'm getting pretty good at link sharing, connecting, and driving traffic, more or less crossing the streams. I turn off all my pingback responses because they are so overwhelming that I swim in them, one of my worst weeks a couple of years ago netting nearly 10,000 pingbacks overall. I used to play with pingbacks, it's a good way to discover if a weird underground Chinese porn site has linked or ripped your stuff for whatever odd reason, but it's also a real headache when you link a site that is swarming with spambot problems.

Here's a sample of a content curation discussion I jumped in on, from a comment I left last May at The Dark Side of Having a Blog Post Freshly Pressed by Paula Reed Nancarrow. She did a good write-up with some excellent points and has over 70 responses containing lots more info and tips, because this is something important to think about when you update or post anything public, so check her post out if you're needing more info. Here's my comment.

"I reblogged one of my own posts once to see what would happen and was immediately disgusted with the way it didn’t track the reader back to original source. I think my own writing is so bizarre no one would ever want to reblog it, lol, although I do find my stuff translated into other languages once in awhile.

The whole point to reblog is driving traffic. The more people (and bots) click, the more monetized sites make in kickback. Blogs that aren’t monetized still make money for the host in general since ads show up on free blogs. Basically, anything you write anywhere on the internet that isn’t on your own paid for domain is a free buffet service. If you weren’t intending to make money on what you write and want to keep it strictly on site, you can turn off RSS and web crawlers and several other things, but since WordPress auto-sends out to email readers, anyone out there can copy/paste content and never source it.

One solution I’ve seen some bloggers do, and do myself, is source your material over several of your own medias like pinterest and facebook that point back to original source. This helps web crawlers more firmly establish source, too.

There will always be uncontrollable content sharing in some form or another, have even seen authors complain of their entire books being available free online after they’ve contracted sales. The game, I think, is to create a solid web presence that autotracks everything you create back to you.

Sorry so wordy. If in doubt, tighten the spam filter and block rebloggers that are probably really pingback bots."

I've played around so much with my own stuff that I can plug nearly any word combo into a 'janika pinky' search and find nearly every sentence I've ever written that is public. And if that's not enough I add on a little, like 'janika banks pinky' or 'janika bluejacky' or whatever. Mine aren't common word combos, so I kind of own my search fields. (I've noticed other readers coming in using the same keyword structuring and going straight to particular content, so I think a few of you have really caught on to this method.) I accidentally, if you will, created my own curated content on a free service, and google search is the biggest curator in the world. (My filing cabinet, lol.) One way to maximize visibility is to drag everyone you like into your own reader service, so all the links, graphics, and vids I've shared (surely 10,000 by now) either boost me closer to front pages in search engines or sprinkle my presence across numerous pages for lurkers to bump into . I'm still playing around with this, but I've been very pleasantly surprised to see how much of my content readily pops up and multiplies behind my back. I have excellent ratings on several curator sites just because I share so much myself, so it's like Pinky blog is an algebraic expression of an algorithmic dance. Once you get the hang of sourcing yourself, the rest falls into place.

well, pink ~that~

Kinda liking this pred burst. (Another latex reaction.) Slept 4 hours the first night and then was up for 20 hours, slept 6 hours last night, now I'm bouncing around cleaning my whole house. Didn't realize how bad my ears were, I can hear again. The hard fibro shoulder neck stuff softened up. (Pred isn't supposed to 'work' on fibro, so I might've been in a low grade autoimmune flare.) My blood pressure dropped like a rock (122/75), so I'll have to monitor and space out my BP med.

This week has been a little too exciting, 22nd was my sploit's anniversary and the latex reaction, 23rd was end of the world and a great visit with psyche guy, today is maybe roofing crew and super zippy deep cleaning and clearing off my hard drive, tomorrow is my dad's birthday and more maybe more roofing noise. Got boxes mailed off, all the groceries stocked up again, want to spend the weekend catching up the spaceship reallocations and getting back on my writing track. I'm starting to write in spirals again because I've been on the road so much this month, so more scattering to gather and process.

My checkout lady at Walmart the other day was a very pretty Daniel Tosh lookalike. She could've been his sister. I can remember Daniel's face pretty good, since I've been watching his show for years. It was really hard not to walk around straightening up the waiting room at the clinic the other day. One of my many jobs at the hospital was stepping around sleeping families straightening up waiting rooms in the middle of the night, but I'm sure that would've creeped a few people out, lol. One woman left a crumpled kleenex in her chair to mark her place while she went to the bathroom, crazy genius idea I guess, but the other chairs around hers were empty, so when she came back to her spot and picked up her kleenex and sat down I had to look away so I wouldn't laugh. That was not a relaxed woman. She also sat the way my mom had trained me to sit, with my toes pointing to lift my thighs up a little so I could hold them together and look more ladylike. I went through all of middle and high school sitting like that, years of church, and there is no way I'm going through my old age sitting tense like that. I'm too tired. Boink a world that thinks I look disgusting slouched around in jeans. Take some chill pillz.

This pred is giving me some extra attitude today, isn't it? I've been extra smartassy with @bonenado, too. Everything is cracking me up, I'm in a really super good mood, probably because I feel better.

NSFW, so mute this if you're at work.