live blogging back to lurkers

Ah, yes, thank you person who is checking on the posts that got wrecked by my recent wallpaper update. Apparently a Shezzaday post is wildly screwed now and impossible to read. Just run your mouse over it to highlight. I'm not going back to reset the tables and stuff. #sorrynotsorry

ignoring the rowdy Saints watching party in the next room, like you do

click pic to get rickrolled, #bencongruity style
if you get lost, just come back to Pinky blog

play time
I pasted the code over from the last time I did this. I'm being lazy. I think I'm bouncing back, just in time for the rest of the holidays, yay!
I'm taking it slow and still watching what I eat, but I'm already getting more done now than I was pre-surg. I have been very surprised this last month, too, remembering past eps of certain shows that @bonenado has forgotten. It's usually the other way around. Some of the glitchy bumps are smoothing out.
Pinky blog got super spammed yesterday by auto-bots pinging off a travel blog in the U.S. and passing it off as Russia. Noob slammed me 94 times from one source like a piece of code was corrupted or something. Dork. Of course, that's like issuing a challenge, sometimes I get spammed harder just for bringing it up. Whatevs. I could go into my analytics and block the address, but like I said, I'm lazy.
You know I'm really building a gingerbread house that all the crumbs are leading to, right. Fake hits don't phase me any more. I'm cured.
Hang on a sec, I need to annoy a few people. I know right, like the last one wasn't annoying enough. Ok, where was I. Oh, yeah, being lazy. I've run out of code paste without having to go get more or manually extend this, so see ya.

like the cool kids

Getting really close to 1000 posts now. Actually, just over if I count a draft and a couple posts I pulled back from public for fixits and never put back out. But technically, TODAY, this one is 997 currently published. One of my private blogs has 759, another has 1831. I have a whole list of blogs, but Pinky blog here is the only personal blog that has remained this public for this long.

Let's celebrate! Bunny is having a sick day, Bunny mama had to stay home from work to take her to the doctor, they've both been asleep on the couch for hours making up for a long, rough night with a big ol' fever, and Pinky has been tucked away amusing herself with 'pinkyguerrero fans' in the search engine. I didn't really expect to find anything interesting, but search algorithms are funny things, and next thing you know, I'm finding my accounts associated with all kinds of weird and awkward things, and sometimes cool stuff. Basically, though, it's all content curation and then hoarding server space. Our entire planet is going to evolve into one giant server orbiting the sun. All these screenshots click to sources.

One thing I ran into toward the last was this ift.tt thingie.

I know, what the wut, right, so here you go, let's learn some fun stuff. First of all, click this next pic to go to its cache source on google. ift.tt stuff is cache, so now you can come off kinda cool knowing that.

Just above that Pinky in da Haus meme you see 'full version, text-only version, view source'. Click view source. All that gobbledygook that you see after you click that is what I see when I right click on all kinds of websites and select 'view source'. Unless a website is right click protected, everybody can see everything about that page, including all kinds of identifier numbers and where graphics are hosted and what your widget settings are. When people warn you to change your passwords to keep you safe from hackers, that's kind of a joke. Any website that has vulnerable 'back doors' can be perused in source mode (disclaimer- I do NOT use source code to hack log onto people's pages or websites, I just like getting the source addresses for their cool widgets and stuff, like the little hearts that spring out of the mouse cursor on Pinky blog), and there are other ways to get all kinds of info without ever having to log in. This is why secure sites are such a big deal for monetary exchange, like banking and shopping. This is why coding specialists make beaucoup bucks. This is also why extra-step verification is important for your accounts, like twitter and facebook. I can right click and see facebook source codes, but facebook coders are very clever and scrunch up the really important stuff. I can still see who visits whose facebooks (if I want to sit for hours matching up long number strings to names), but I can't see when or how often, and I can't see private messaging info, etc. I talk about source code once in awhile in other posts, especially in wassappening.

I just super distracted you. The real question is- Why is THAT particular post coming up in this kind of general search for 'pinkyguerrero fans'? Like, I mean, out of nearly 1000 posts? Why THAT one?

So let's look at the clues, check out the content of the original post called cool kids. Felicity Smoak in the video at the bottom of the post is a brilliant hacker, MIT class of '06. What did we just do? We opened up my code on a post alluding to a coder. Not a single other Pinky post showed up in search in this manner, even though many other Pinky posts use the word 'fans'. Is this something personal? Is this coming up in search because someone else has already done this? Google search is notorious for showing things in rank order, the most clicked at the top, instead of using a catalog system. Google search is a constantly changing information flow, and the more clicks a page gets, the higher it gets ranked in a search engine. It's a stupid game to play, and one I beat by simply infiltrating half the web with my name, lol. (I say simply, it took some time, haha, I'm pretty patient.) But the point is, a cache page is coming up in search. That means someone is clicking on that particular cache page a lot. I wonder why they'd need a cache page, because they could see the post easily enough, right? Sometimes the only way I can see a post outside the U.S. is by accessing the cache page, so maybe that's it.

A completely unrelated Pinky post way closer to the top of the ranking system is Wanna see some more? If you click that, you will get the France page for Pinky blog. I talk about lurkers in that post. Actually, I talk about lurkers in a lot of posts. It's interesting that the France version of that post talking about lurkers is ranking so high in the search, because I'm in the U.S.

And when we add all this up, it's very interesting that a general Pinky search will highlight a combo field of France, lurkers, and source code, especially since I revealed recently that Pinky blog is getting hammered from a single source in France. Coincidence?

Sometimes I talk between the lines in Pinky blog to lurkers. Some of them privately talk back to me once in awhile in real life. Some of them go dark again, some hang around on the edges leaving me alone but I know they're there, and some super lurk and play games on me. I think I might have a very patient game player who has been hanging around for probably at least a year and a half, and if it's the same person this whole time, has been sending me signals for awhile to play back, which I did, and now I'm getting signals to stop blowing them off and really play back, which I am now doing. I mean, how else can I play back except to talk out loud about it, but I'm not going to share the google map satellite zoom from an IP I think I finally got confirmation on and am 79% certain is the same person. That's the thing with playing these kinds of games, as long as I'm playing fair and by the rules (and with one arm tied behind my back and nearly 90% blindfolded if you think about how bad my analytics really are, I complain all the time), I really can't go Ah-HA!

Anyway, the cool kids source showing up in a pinky search isn't necessarily related, and I've had app spam/scam hits from a number of countries anyway, but it's something to think about, isn't it?

Those of you who really read Pinky blog know that I value creators in the dark, artists in the night, writers in pain, and I notice people who don't spell it all out. Several readers have let me know privately I'm hitting all the right nails square on, and part of the reason Pinky blog is important is because I keep it very cool here, no one sees you but me, and most of the time I don't see most of you because we've been talking about using proxy and private search settings, right? Still, sometimes someone needs an internet hug, and this post is my hug to the person who added resuscitation to the rotation in the continuous hammering, like the drumming in the Master's head.

And now, it's time to get back to my own stuff. Pinky blog isn't here to be about someone else's game, although this was a nice distraction on a long day.

lyrics

bone blocks and red rocks

click to see more

There's a thing that happens on the Mo Creatures server making me think a bit about time order. The dimension we live in heavily depends on it, but we seem to be able to think in ways contrary to that, which I don't think should even be possible to cross our minds unless it really is possible for time order and spacetime to work differently. Of course our brains have specific wiring for us to be able to experience time order, and certain kinds of brain damage can make time feel jumpier than the smooth moment to moment that we normally experience. At worst, time can become so disconnected that a person can become very confused and disoriented, but it's always within their own cognitive experience. When a group of people share the same time jumpy memories, as in UFO abduction stories, we start to dig deeper into what is really happening, but we still have no conclusive evidence or proof that a time disorder really happened independently of local cognitive processes.

Once in awhile, due to whatever issue, the server goes through a lag and then a sudden jump or series of jumps. Sometimes it simply jumps forward catching up all the commands I've executed to real time. Sometimes it's a little more complex and knocks me back a few blocks and then replays the series of commands I've executed, making it seem like deja vu. And sometimes it suddenly lag-jumps in a way that makes things 'disappear' or 'lost' or at the very least seem a bit nonsensical. Yesterday the jump and replay was so convoluted that I watched all my commands re-happen out of order, but the consequences changed. It involved a re-teleport and items placed not just replayed or backward, but shuffled up completely out of sequence, and all of a sudden I was missing one particular block I had made the special teleport trip to get, but everything I did just before placing it apparently reappeared intact, even though I got 'bumped' over a block. When a moderator got involved, I think they could see I was still holding that block, but there was no way I could see it or interact with it until they handed me more of the same item to my inventory, and once I handed their amount back, I could see my own block just fine and finally placed it where I wanted it. (:edit: I worded that wrong. I was told to keep that extra inventory, but once I opened my inventory and closed it again, I was able to see and use my own block.)

That seems an awful lot like spooky magic. In reality, it's a series of executable commands in lines of code, and they actually have nothing at all to do with each other except they're supposed to retain a sort of time sequence integrity. If we step into the sort of dimension where we see the world as code, we can see what actually happens, but if we step into my laptop dimension java talking to incoming information that has to be processed from a server and then processed and consciously interpreted through a completely different server such as my brain (experiencing my experience, as it were), we see a mangle of what my real life brain interprets as spooky magic. It was only my processor talking to their server in a weird sort of un-time because electrons and radio waves actually are kinda spooky on a quantum level, but my own experience interpreted a code entanglement as time suddenly getting all jumbled up and something disappearing.

This post is me practicing how to do words around that kind of stuff because I'm working on a real story (have been for years) that I'm wondering if I should share straight to a blog because my life keeps getting so interrupted that it seems like I'll never get that story actually published.

This is how a red glass aquarium rock (bead, pellet, whatever it's called) looks from another dimension of light travel.

A sequence of events (executable commands) led to the placement of that rock, and I think 'time travel' is greatly misnomered and could be a very useful tool in lieu of surgery, should it come to that. I think it should be possible to be able to step out and revisit the code lines of executable commands and then take a command line out without messing up the overall sequence of events that led to this 'fix' having to take place. And that alone springs all kinds of philosophical debates to life. Don't worry, I won't list them (but I really could) because I'm still on my first cup of coffee and I really want to get over to Mo Creatures and keep working on my bone block ceiling in the uber cool big spooky dark library I am fixing up to spawn surprise creatures of the night on unsuspecting guests. Too bad I can't code time glitches into their experiences and really freak them out, right?

If you like thinking about code in real life, I've also got a post called wassappening that you might like.

obsession alert

obsession alert
Oh, no, she's using comic sans... I take comic sans very seriously. As does CERN. --> Know Your Meme click for an actual real thing bcuz some of us really dig fonts All my blogs used to be in comic sans.
I still can't go there. I can't rewatch yet. Way too many triggers. I just shut down after the last time I talked about it. I could LIST the triggers in this season.
#transparency  The long muscle running up the side of my spine on the right side feels like thousands of splinters mashing around all along in there whenever I lean back or lay down. It used to be an itch, now it's stabby little jabs. This is a new thing in that area. New things raise eyebrows. I'm ok with it. I know it's 'fake' (it's very real, just referred from nerve trunk in my spine), and it's surprisingly easy to adapt to it. It's very different from stabby joint pain or stabby trigeminal ear pain. After how numb it's been for so long (left side all the pain, right side numb), I'm just glad that nerve network still works at all. The important thing is to keep moving, no matter what.
I'm trying not to be a brat. I've had baditude all month, first from cutting back on my coffee, now from cutting down on my xanax, so I'm trying to be sweet, but sometimes you just gotta flog someone with the flowers you pick, knowhutImean? Srsly tho, I am successfully down a quarter pill on the xanax this month, and for protracted benzo, that's a big deal. If I can keep this up, I hope to be cleaned back off xanax by summer. Go slow on that one and do your research before you just jump off that stuff, it gets really hairy and people wind up in hospitals over it.
This color is super light pink. It looks yellow to me on this kind of purple. I imagine there's a perspective metaphor in there somewhere applicable to social media, but I'm not caring at the moment. This song was playing in Walmart yesterday. I am so glad to see this video. It's kind of saving Pinky's week.

last of 2016 30 day challenge- Day Two

It's been over a year since I've done one of these.

Part of my 30 day challenge is to reach a place where some things in the way are out of the way enough to get a much bigger idea written out. Several, actually, but I've got one trying to come out and I need to be a little more organized when it does so I don't lose it all in bits and pieces like I do everything else. Since Christmas and New Year's will be a monumental and continual disruption interrupting my life, best to redirect so I don't have frustrations erupting, and whatever other uptionings there could possibly be. I'm kind of winging it, but things keep getting done. I feel like I should report in, though, but I don't feel like saying "I cleaned my house."

World of Spin
I'm trying out new wallpaper. I'm also playing with the table auto expanding. click for wallpaper Original art from pinterest
Or maybe you don't know what that means. The closest feeling I can find that mimics for other people what I feel for fractals in my head is stuff like this. Like the lyrics, we don't quite know what it all means. If you could see the music as colors, and the timed visuals as an artistic representation of the feelings inside someone else (not as characters or a story), you would be close to what a synesthete might feel in a euphoric state. My synesthesia seems to be much less literal and more orientation based than a lot of what I'm finding described on the interwebs, but when I'm like this, I see wonders I can't begin to describe. :edit: Since the word "orientation" is quickly coming to mean something much different now than what I intend, I need to let you know that I'm using it in the classical sense, spatial orientation, not sexual, although I do admit this probably sure looks like it. Perhaps, I'm subtexting, but again, if I could share what the music part does in my brain, you'd forget the rest and want to soak it in like a drug. Autism sensory issues have been compared by some to psychedelic drug trips without the drugs, and I can hit nirvana pretty quickly with this vid, for whatever reason. Once there, all thought of 'me' vanishes, and I'm just moving through the colors.
Just drifting past, by, in, out. Many years ago I wrote this poem when I was in a mood just like this one. EQUATIONAL ELAPSE I suffer a brooding earnestness to coalesce--      what is life in a world of spin? I feel an awkward compelling to merge. I glide and collide through denseness and time--      what is purpose in a world of spin? I want and have not where I am when. I see vastness, smallness, matter of mirrors--      what is hope in a world of spin? I know up is across is inverted is naught. I dream my own patterns and cleave to ideas--      what is joy in a world of spin? I will die ere the story reveals me.
I see stuff like this when I 'go deep'. I saw stuff like this long before fractals appeared in artwork, or even mathematics. I have been making stuff like this in my head since I was a child. I don't know how to make it to show to other people like some more artistic people do, or how to find a way to describe it like mathy people do, but I do know it means something. This is a detailed (be it real or imaginary) map of multi coordinates. I see colors as places, and where they are placed in relation to other colors as whens. They don't all reside inside what we think of as a universe. Someone studying synesthesia might take what I just said very literally and point out that's exactly what it really is, colors placed in specific locations in a time order, but since I can't show them how I can move in and out of it, I can only say Sure, whatever. If music can evoke a feeling of nostalgia, a pattern of colors can surely evoke a meaningful journey to a place. It's very hard to describe color being something other than an actual visual to people who use visuals as part of the description process. To me, this artwork is communication, the same way a road map is. If we were some other type of being and not humans, this might be a logical way to express instructions.
I first recognized this weird visualizing was a real thing outside myself while sitting in a theater. This could seem very stupid to someone who's never experienced a thrilling leap of recognition in any kind of symbolism. The lights had gone down, the ads were over, the screen was dark, and then a new rendition of the Wehrenberg Theaters bumper theme started up and I froze. It's the 1980s version with the jewels, you only get a couple seconds of it in that vid link. The view panned around and over and through the animation and *felt* BIG, with the jewels spinning and choreographed into what almost seemed like a flight pattern to alight onto the crown. That was the first time I could see anything close to how I could manipulate visuals inside my head actually going on outside of my head, and it was important because they were geometric shapes and colors, not symbolizing anything else at all. The screen was big enough to immerse me into the animation the same way I could go into the stuff I could see in my head. A few years later, the science of chaos emerged into the general population and fractals seized the imaginations of artists around the world. A few years after that, it went digital, and now anyone can create fractal art, and even choreograph it and set it to music. Trying to explain to anyone that I could do much more than simple fractal zooms in my mind at the age of 12 is useless. My psychologist asked me once what it was like, and that was about the only time in years I stuttered and went hopelessly silent in his office. If I could press my head up to someone else's and file share, I'd do that without hesitation. Or throw a thought like we can throw stuff from devices to other screens now.

My very first tracker embed code was named World of Spin. It still works, and the map is still active. The most recent hit from the time of this snip is from Wisconsin Dec 1 2016 11:48:56 pm The time is off because it didn't reset for daylight savings, that should be an hour earlier. I could tell you the page that got viewed on another blog, but I don't want to spook anybody.

That's right, I'm not sleeping. I'm usually sleeping by now. It's probably cheating if I call this Day Two and post it before midnight, but I might do that anyway.

floating on track

5 ingredients-

• whatever cauliflower that's left from salads that you can't force yourself to finish raw, boiled and drained
• whatever is left from an open can of evaporated milk after you've used most of it in a recipe, warmed in empty cauliflower pan after cauliflower is cooked
• about an inch slice off a regular size block of velveeta, warmed in the milk until it stirs in
• onion powder to your liking, I accidentally dumped nearly a teaspoon but this is very edible, I like onion flavor
• the rest of the cooked peppered bacon that is way too spicy to finish up and you're sick of it

Awesome soup. Wait, the flavor and texture is much better than that, lemme try again.

Behold, awesome soup.

Still euphorically floating around and kinda forgetting to eat (which makes good soup awesome), but actually got a nap after several days of around 5 hours of sleep a night, so yay. Figured maybe now is a good time to get hold of photobucket since I'm too weird to be bitey. How's this for succinct?

Subject: login issues- Upload forces relogin, can't upload for 5 days

Hello-

Concerning account "(me)"

Every time I click 'upload' I am force logged off. Clicking 'upload' takes me straight to 'login' and I login over and over trying to do an upload. This happens on every browser I try.

Everything else is working fine. I have been a pro user for years. I even beta tested a new feature one year.

I have not received any kind of acknowledgement that my last email (in this forward) was received or that this issue is being looked into.

I'm staying calm in epic facepalm. I use photobucket heavily for international forum and fan site readership, and photobucket is the mainstay of most of my blog building. Please fix this.

Thank you,
(me)

By the way, photobucket is having some really sweet holiday shopping deals, so you better jump on those. https://print.photobucket.com/

Maybe I should send an email to paper.li about their bot swarms...

Anyway, since I can't get this into photobucket at this specific size, I'm going to put it here and see if I can hotlink it to where I want it to go in a widget, ok? Ok.

I mean, I have that around in other places, but I wanted that particular snip. And now it's getting late, so I'll finish playing with it later, whenever that is. I have stuff in town the next 2 days, and I'm pretty sure I'll feel a little beat up from physical therapy, plus getting ready for Thanksgiving. I've noticed I'm already starting to emotionally disengage and @bonenado talking to me is like through a filter where I'm only half aware of even interacting, so aspienado is already having a tough time staying on the holiday slide.

I need emergency Christmas music, STAT.

the shallow water

Alternative Gothic Santa Christmas

by leather_and_lace

In case you're wondering if blogger will publish a completely empty page that hasn't been touched yet, why yes, yes it will. Sorry about that. A few people subbed in email or on the feedburner for immediate delivery may have gotten some kind of alert.

The last thing I was dreaming as I bolted awake (thank you, daylight savings, I'm back to bolting awake before 4 a.m.) was a neat little gizmo for media sharing that digitally mimicked a projector screen, meaning  you could click it to roll it in or out. My dad had the whole setup when I was little, projector, home screen on a tripod, boxes and boxes of slides. The setting up the pole and screen holder seemed to add a magical air when Dad would pull the screen down out of the retractor.

click to get lost in pinterest

By the way, actual projector screens are still a big thing. I had no idea there was such a big selection. I mean, I see them on TV in corporate spy type movies, so I guess there's a whole world of screenmanship I miss in my daily life.
Projector Screen Store

Ok, some of you are probably trying to tell me that digital projector screens are already a thing, and I hear you, yes, I've seen them. But this was very differently coded for user friendliness and ease of control, plus it allowed sharing of as many media files as one wanted without the cumbersome loading slowing down a page problem. Some of you are still jumping up and down trying to tell me this is already a thing. I know, sweethearts, I have tried out and used a few on different blogs over time, it's not a new idea. In fact, I miss the much older ones that no one supports any more because they are too hacker friendly.

click to get cool Christmas cards

This wasn't iframes, it wasn't an html embed, it was completely new and different. It allowed input anywhere you could put text without having to use a widget plugin (I've got your attention now) (yes, wouldn't this be fun for highly restricted editors like facebook or wordpress headers), and it could be manually manipulated by the reader without losing place on a page or opening up a new page. It was as simple as 'click to read more' but with its own editor for viewing pleasure.

Say you'd like to share items from several sources (stop thinking storyboards and slideshows, hang on, I'm word fumbling over coffee) without having to manually input code. All you would have to do is make a click trail of what you want readers to be able to access in digital storage, and your click trail would 'load' the projector. You could choose whether to allow downloading and even photoshopping within the projector, it would have its own inbuilt tracker (who viewed) and shout box, and some of you are facepalming because I'm still describing what's already out there. No I'm not. You guys are used to browser hosts doing this.

clicks to an awesomely cool site

Ok, lemme make it simpler. Imagine if you could snip a chunk of facebook that you really like and share it outside of facebook. Just pull it out like a plugin and put it on a blog or on twitter or into an email in one or two clicks without having to code. Imagine having doohickey powers without having to know how doohickeys work.

I feel like I'm epic failing this dream share. I keep asking myself what was so amazing about this dream, how do I express it in a blog post. I keep wanting to find that one sentence that makes me feel like I adequately related this cool vision and every time I write more, I see all the stuff crowd in that misleads. I think what I'm saying is that the intuitive built-in coding would allow such ease of use and access without compromising safety that the world would just be blown away, and it would change media hosting and sharing as we know it. Static storage would become quaint.

much more coolness when clicked

Back to an older dream about the browser landscape. I'm getting email offers now to sign up to be paid (kickbacks) for browsing. Did I call it? Someone's been working on this, and I dreamed it. If they really do ever come out with a shareable mapping tool for personalization and monetization, it starts with this kind of stuff.

I just wanna say to everyone still not getting this season of The Walking Dead- this stuff is already all around us. What Daryl and Dwight are going through isn't uncommon. Let go of your safety nets and go under the surface imagining mental breakdown and reconditioning. You want to know why abuse victims won't leave their abusers? You want to understand how they're trained? Watch this season of The Walking Dead. What I came away with last night during the Dwight and Daryl story is the basis of how Rick will survive and why he'll behave the way he does. I'm very seriously excited for this season like I never have been for any of the previous seasons. Enculturation is my favorite thing ever in my whole sociology/anthropology degree.

We live in a culture of imagery for a reason.

the subtext of goodbye

The American Psychological Association website has been breached. I know this because a referring url to Pinky blog says it's a logout page to them but goes to porn when I click it. However, it's also separately listed as a referring site. Part of the "my.apa" logout address is "ERIGHTS_TARGET=" and then a very weird tiny url, and this is erights. I assume erights is on the up and up and someone is using them for their java script tools. Yes, this is why java is still in hot debate. Half the internet depends on java, but java sucketh mucheth for breaches.

Pinky blog sees this kind of action at least once a week. Don't worry, pretty sure you guys can't click anything on Pinky blog and go to the porn. I have no idea why Pinky blog even gets visited like this, but maybe someone is trying to do the same thing to my blog, whatever it is. From here it just looks like an individual's login to the APA got swiped. Since I can't see anything else, I sincerely doubt the APA actually reads my blog or refers traffic my way, but it's possible I've pinged them with links here. I wonder if everyone who pings them got porn bot swarmed in the night. Pingbacks are the root of all evil. I don't allow pingbacks in my comments or you guys would be dizzy with xanax and viagra ads. I know from Lexxperience that one scifi TV review site in particular sent me over 800 spam visits in one week flat trying to leave comments with links to buy a colorful array of drugs and porn, and Xanga filtered them into the trash. People floating on the top reading TV reviews don't see the nasty gurgly depths beneath the surface, but your computers do...

Back to the real. Bunny spent the night last night after trunk or treating. She managed to force herself to stay awake long past bedtime, but at the stroke of midnight she was OUT, and good thing, because the puppy show had just ended. And yes, I was back up shortly thereafter at 5 a.m. making coffee. The body wants what it wants. Coffee is the only recreational drug I have left, and it rules me. When I smoked years ago, I was the person that would get up at 3 a.m. to sift butts out of ash trays and relight them hoping for one faint hit because I had run out of cigarettes. I was the same way with alcohol, woke up needing the hard stuff immediately. People don't believe me when I say I'm an addict because they never see me wasted or do anything hard (or even soft). They don't see me abusing my meds. I. don't. dare. That is all.

Anyway, yes, up at 5 doing recon on the APA breach and loling because the rest of the world is a bunch of idiots. I bet hackers in general are like me, narcissistic addicts. We need code to make it through another day.

So all these sweet pix are from the Minecraft 1.7 Mo Creatures multiplayer server. Still waiting for the server upgrade. They started allowing creative mode a couple of weeks ago and stopped watching for trubbas since it doesn't matter now, so I've been flying around seeing who hasn't blown up their towns yet. There was a big TNT party one week last month, some of the towns are messy leftover trash now. But a few things are still intact, and they are beautiful.

I've got some really neato ideas for the new Mo Creatures whenever it happens, and I'm looking forward to doing some cool stuff. I'll need it to help me get through the holiday slide.

Some of you know I've had a rough week because I kinda blew up twitter yesterday. My impressions went crazy. Super short version, continued trimming my following list by 2K+ turned into me weeping through my birthday week, and I'll paraphrase my tweets-

So... some of u have been watching me disconnect from inactive accts. I went to every single one. Many were very old, ill, depressed. One guy actually died 4 days after he fllwd me & I know that bcuz his FB was turned into a memorial with timestamps. Ppl use twitter to hang on, way more ppl than u think. I ran into 'dead' accts that actually left suicide notes, felt sick to my stomach. I've had a rough time purging my twitter bcuz I look at every single acct. Terminal kids, cancer, self harm- I *look* at ppl. I'm not blowing off ppl who aren't useful to me when I purge my twitter. I sat here crying for 3 hours straight Monday over real ppl. & Monday was my birthday & it sucked, not bcuz of walking dead, but bcuz #realpeople are disappearing & no one notices. And I've decided I'm changing the way I twitter. Yes, again. No more games. It's real now. I'm real & I see real ppl being real.

And that happened because I got called out by someone for unfollowing them, so I burst forth into flames and challenged a duel. These are replies, so fewer people saw them, and you're only getting one side of the convo. Since this was all public, I have no problem with ethics sharing my own public words here. This is a smash of my side. You can see me getting angry over generalized phrases like no one cares and everybody blames me kind of stuff.

but you use this one for show tweeting right. since other ppl think u are just on --> @ they worry when they don't see you for a long time. about 75% of the purges were abandoned dead accounts which means high fllwr # s are just clutter, not anything cool. I know where you think that feeling comes from when ppl don't actually go look,at ur TL & notice when something is off. but you trained them to miss you & you became a big hole in their lives. I watched several have a really bad wknd missing u. don't blow that off or believe lies. No one speaks for the rest of us. No one is your gatekeeper saying we don't care. I also know some have felt really hurt about something that you've been ignoring, so never blow us off with we don't miss u. if it takes me unfllwing u to wake u up, then wake up. but if ur not going to talk to me for a year & all fllwng gets us is PM contact, what am I supposed to think? maybe what I think is that u don't care for me any more. Ever thot of it reversed? I'm using this opportunity while I have it since me reaching out first got no replies. btw, I'm the queen of chronic & the Jack Bauer of depression, sometimes u gotta kick urself back out into the light. & I'm not joking, never ever think I'm joking. There's stuff I've never told a soul on social media, u guys have no idea. I don't sugarcoat hugs & self medicate my stuff away, so if u really want me to fllw u for realz, this is who I am. if u change ur mind & don't like it, don't say I'm not ur friend if u keep urself on the other side of an invisible fence. all that sounded mean. I just get POd when ppl say no one cares about them when I know ppl really tried to stay in contact. I beg to differ. Another person had a big hand in it. that part I totally get. U completely missed something else that started b4 all that. Surviving is always priority. omg did u really think I was blaming the gang falling apart over ur cancer? wow, ur in a bubble world. NO. there are ppl out here unimaginably sad about not being able to talk freely to u like the old days & they're trying to be respectful & not bug u but several of us have tried making contact & wondering why no response & then time passed & it has gotten super awkward & now it's all misunderstandings & then come to find out 1 person had contact w/ u & never shared that YOU WERE OK. omg that pissed some of us off. that person sat there watching us be SAD & AFRAID FOR YOU. anyway, I'm just saying don't blow it all off w/ ppl don't care about u or something. Hell yes we care.

Anyone begging off with 'being in a vulnerable place' has the right not to share what's going on, but using that phrasing to get out of poor behavior on public social networking while challenging someone else to hold up to some kind of unwritten follow back contract is as ridiculous as it gets. A few of us sincerely thought this person might have committed suicide, given the pinned tweet, the last real content, and then a month-long absence, so I was understandably livid to be poked out of the blue with "you unfollowed? you don't love me anymore?" within 24 hours of unfollowing, despite past attempts to make contact and see if this person was ok.

And that is how #aspienado kills ppl. I say all the wrong things & get caught up in my feels & wanna shake some sense into the world. I don't understand the social cues, I don't get how other ppl misunderstand my words, but I will always have the hard copy to the trail. I do know this morning was very important bcuz my impressions shot up like crazy & a lotta ppl are afraid to make a move or sound now. & I think that's what scares ppl, that I can always track down timestamps. I will always be able to find who said what when. & I'm not doing it to be mean, but bcuz I'm exploding w/ feels. How in the world normals hold all that in & play nicey nicey is beyond me.

Regular readers have watched aspienado struggle for well over a year with the friendship code and how people abuse it by passively-aggressively displacing blame onto the person being emotionally manipulated. I'm done with that. I have been warning since 2014 that I bite, and I'm having a lot of trouble holding back any more. You guys wanna see a real aspienado? Keep poking me with crap. My favorite part was the diversionary tactic of pointing and "Look over there!" with the "Can I ask you a question? How many eps does Lexx have?" I have a 3 year old granddaughter who's already an expert in that. Grow up. You poke me, I stomp you back. That's the new rules. If you call me "friend", expect to get treated like a FRIEND.

I would challenge many of you to see that this kind of hit and miss emotional displacing is what is making the world miserable. Holding our stuff in and twisting it into other people this or that only makes things more layered and difficult to understand. Owning who we are and taking responsibility for how we affect other people is key to understanding what is wrong with the world.

I think this perfectly says what I've been seeing other people feeling on twitter with all the deeper recon I've been doing on dead accounts.

the fork in the road

age rating on the blog this pic links to, although that particular post is safe for work

"You look sad, when you think he can't see you." -Molly, Sherlock. But John does see, doesn't he?

Yesterday was sad, and I know it was seen. We can play our little games, but I'm tired of games. I don't hide the sad. I don't tell other people to hide the sad. But someone is sad, and I am still sad, and I don't see a resolution as long as someone has to keep pretending that everything is ok. I feel angry when other people pretend. I grew up angry watching my mother pretend. She never got the help she needed because she was always so busy pretending she was ok. It's hard watching people you care about do that. They're there for other people, but they don't allow other people to be there for them. Unless it's a head game. But I guess it's not my stuff any more, is it? I guess this is where I finally really just get off that road. Being friends with me was obviously a mistake. All I can think right now is if you only knew what you're really missing now, because all the things I said were true, but I guess that wasn't enough.

clicks to source on facebook

You guys know all you see is the surface, right. You only see what Pinky lets you see. You guys didn't see this. "I was thrilled thinking I might not have to do all my hard work alone, that maybe someone would be around with me surging into awesome. I have a vision, a dream, and I'll be going there. No more stalling, it's TIME now. This is the year, this is my opportunity to shine, I've been preparing for this for ~years~, and there is absolutely nothing that is going to stop me from doing everything I can to get as much work done as possible this year, barring actual death." But you guys did see me stall out for the first time since 2012. THAT is how much losing a friend affects me. And now, if I really want to get back on track, I've very seriously got to let this go now. I went underground and leveled back up, and I've got people waiting on me to turn away and go with them now.

click for gif

I've switched all my blogger blogs to https now. I Lexxperimented and discovered my Lexxperience.com and PinkyGuerrero.com domain pointers have no problem sending traffic straight to the encrypted versions, yay! I was conflicted over whether to give those up, but now I'm going to keep them.

Also, I was contacted privately this month by someone who thought I was other Pinky on allwomenstalk, and I was nice enough to dig up the link back to her myself and say Sorry, I'm not the Pinky Robot you were looking for. Ok, I didn't say it like that, lol. Anyway, of all the Pinky Guerreros out there, I seem to be the most aggressive with my web presence, and I feel like I need to be teaching a class to the other Pinkys on how to properly link and hub all their medias, because as you can see, other Pinky didn't. Several of her hub sites are very poorly linked, and this one isn't actually even hubbed, so...

Ok, back to physical therapy today. I'm doing once a week for 2 months this time. I was supposed to be doing homework this week, but I slacked because extra Bunny time and extra chilly out this week. Also because it set off charley horses in the long muscles up both sides of my spine (my tenderloins, lol), and if you've never had a charley horse in one of those muscles, you basically twist into pretzels trying to work it out, and if you're lucky, it won't trigger spasms around your ribcage and make you feel like you can't breathe, and if you're really lucky, it won't trigger a nerve center beneath either one of your scapulas and make you feel like you're having a heart attack. It's loads of fun disentangling fibro in ER, 4-6 hours of tests and scans and when it's all over you finally get a pain shot and a doctor going Huh, is that all. And by the time I finally get the shot I cry like a baby because laying on those stupid beds so long with a charley horse in your back sucks super bad, and anything coming through a needle is a godsend. So no, I didn't trigger that this week during chilly weather and lots of Bunny time. I need to buy a bigger heating pad and do warm ups before and then heat after so I can control that whole triggering mess, so a heating pad is on today's list.

Fibromyalgia is a nice word for charley horses from hell, and we're talking everything from tiny strings of muscle turning into diamond filament tether fishing line (I have muscle fibers in my hands that feel like guitar strings, they don't even feel like human tissue) to synchronized ballet as entire sections of body seize up.

And that's the kind of morning we're going to have. I just got stuck in the Futurama wiki because of the fishing line link up there. Click this if you need to get lost.

We've got a fine herd of cave crickets up and coming. @bonenado has been putting tape down in the basement and trapping 50 at a time since they were cute little wee things, now they're big and fat and still catching 50 at a time. He's thrown hundreds of them away. And now they're filtering up to this level and surprising me in the laundry, which is hard to do because I'm so fastidious with laundry. Got two this morning in the kitchen, casually asking where the coffee is. I have no idea what those things are eating, but they are fat. If they're famished enough to wipe out something like a possible termite population, yay! I can't even imagine. Maybe this is why we're not seeing any spiders...

This coolness arrived in the mail. Click it to go to amazon. In case you're not familiar with your physicists, Carroll has been hot on the heels of Kaku for years and is now being hailed as one of the greatest human thinkers of this generation. Future scifi rests on this man's shoulders.

I spent yesterday jumping up to clean every time my router got blinky, which was basically every 5 minutes (remember, our electric had been out the night before) (yes, I reset the router 3 times, it was blinky because our electric was still blinky), so the laundry is caught up, bathrooms are clean, dishes all done, bedding washed, plus I got a lot of little chores done in minecraft working in the nightclub. It's a blend of Goldmember's Studio 69 skating rink and Casanova Frankenstein's disco room.



Might take awhile to get enough gold to make the walls gold... Or I could go purpley-blue like in Mystery Men. I'm experimenting with a disco ball, actually strobe lights for the time being, not crazy about anything I've tried so far. I still need to make a 2nd tier observation balcony around the wall, will try to strobe that but I don't think the railings will cooperate. For now it's all lit up so I can see to work, but eventually I hope it's dark enough to spawn mobs, lol. Except hopefully we don't wreck the place up killing them. It'll be awesome and just an all around bad scene, like a real underground club.

This wins tweet of the week for me.

I have have half an hour before I have to get all over a very long morning out and then come home and crash through a rough afternoon. In case you need to get lost again, here's a good place to start wandering around.


And in case you really do need an exit cue, like me, here you go.

Bohemian frappe soda, spare me this life from this monstrosity

I've played around comparing the new https against the old http on blogger and the only thing so far that I can see being completely stopped from loading by https is my Pinky Press Review widget in the right side column. May have to spend a little time later looking at the paper.li coding and see whether it's fixable. Paper.li is outside the U.S., no idea if they'll work on google compliance or not. Google is doing everything in its power to work with international laws and firewalls to smooth out all the wrinkles across all the search engine inhibitions. ~Pinky approves.~ I have just flipped the https switch. Not sure if this is related, but I need to see if it affects the 500+ views I've suddenly gotten in the last 48 hours, which I'm having a hard time believing are legit. This doesn't say it stops bots from apps and crawlers on my end, but it can't hurt to experiment. I went through my GWT, Google analytics, statcounter, and the blogger stats, and less than 10% show up as bots, but still, that's just a pretty big number alla sudden.

"There are three main benefits to using HTTPS instead of HTTP to access your blog:

• It helps check that your visitors open the correct website and aren’t being redirected to a malicious site.
• It helps detect if an attacker tries to change any data sent from Blogger to the visitor.
• It adds security measures that make it harder for other people to listen to your visitors’ conversations, track their activities, or steal their information.

"

In the meantime, my last blood pressure reading was 117/71, and while my doctor would be ecstatic, I just felt super wiped out yesterday. I'm sure part of it was chronic fatigue kicking in really hard after physical therapy. I don't know if allergy season has taken that much out of me or what, really wasn't aware how bad the exhaustion had gotten. No wonder I haven't been producing other content. Does't mean I haven't been busy, though. Here's the construction site a couple days ago. Ignore the scaffolding.

We've been doing mob experiments in multiplayer, sadly frustrated at how stymied we are over spawner control. I run into forums where other people have also tried to move spawners to no avail. I'm not wanting to farm mobs or anything, just think it would look hella cool to use a torched off spider spawner as a beacon light on top of a black roof high up on a mountain. Oh, well, maybe I'll do something with redstone power instead. In the meantime, may as well play with the spawners where they are when we find them.



Oh, hadn't checked this last week, the sound came through. I've been trying for months to get sound and this one did and I don't even know how. Don't worry, it's super short. We laughed our heads off at this guy's awesome footwear.



I've gotta get outa here, psyche guy appointment. Might mix it up today. Wonder what would happen if we psyche analyze minecraft and sex...

you and me

lol, this was an accident. both lappys have rotating wallpapers

Having one of those weeks where I throw everything in the house into the washing machine, and my workouts turn into multitasking. If I'm moving around, may as well move stuff with me, right? In the meantime, I'm fussing with tech.

A few of you are aware I started working on my Mantrid post before Halloween last fall and went almost directly into the kind of tech fail that didn't allow me to continue working on captures, then I upgraded and transitioned over through post-holiday nasty chest cold stuff, and since then I've been studying screen layouts and tweaking advanced html adapting to new phone tech and hopefully all the different devices popping this page open now. During that it dawned on me I can get even better captures on this new lappy and started over on that part, and now the question is- Will I have this out in time for Valentine's Day? Our Mantrid love might be exquisitely timed here.

I'm "playing". I could see everything great on the old Toshiba, but Jawn keeps sizing Pinky blog text to micro no matter how I tweak my monitor settings, so I'm going to hafta go into html and play with font sizing and maybe the colors and see if that helps. I see everything great in the editor, but not on the blog itself.

I'd already noticed awhile back that my phone doesn't show the fonts I choose on a laptop, and that the sizing problems have more to do with graphics than the text, but it's the opposite on Jawn. Huge graphics, tiny font. My Lexxperience blog doesn't seem to be affected that much, at least that I can see from Jawn. Why Pinky blog???

Anyway, during my 3 1/2 hours of euphoric sleep last night, I came blazing awake with this fantastic idea to pull both lappys up together and just start all over with the captures on Jawn, and I've been bouncing around ever since doing laundry and a workout and general cleaning offing of countertops thinging with only one little yogurt in me. I may hafta reign myself in, this is NOT the way to pace myself. May hafta make myself eat some nachos or something. They don't even sound good, I'd rather just keep bouncing and not eating, but we don't want that nasty crash in a few days, do we? No, we don't.

Me & Jawn irl.

don't put pink stuff in the search bar, it's a trap!

Big boxes starting to arrive for Christmas- Bunny's cool art stuff from Aunt Sploit, @bonenado's secret self purchases (no, not a Homer ball) (you gotta wait for pix), 2 jugs of my protein powder... That's good stuff, click it.

Almost got lost in ugly pink sweaters. Click it if it mesmerizes and calls to you.

Ok, I've gotta stop putting pink stuff in the search bar. These are the ones that made me stop, They each click out.

I stared at this one like a cat stares.
#NEEDMORECOFFEESTAT

This was like traveling through a magic wreath into Purple Land.

I don't regret this one. You will see cool stuff if you keep scrolling there.
Don't worry, it's not all pink.

Pulling my brain back out of the webs and my eyes off the screen this morning is like someone pulling an octopus off glass. *WO*. Click this for Christmas octopus.

Completely off the whole Christmas subject, still impatiently waiting for Hillywood to parody Sherlock, but their new Hocus Pocus Parody is out. You can find more Hillywood in past posts, including Walking Dead, Harry Potter, Doctor Who, Lady Gaga, Supernatural, etc, by clicking on the Hillywood tag at the bottom of this post. (Mobile viewers may need to load web version to see the tags. This article explains why- Hide HTML in Mobile Devices For Blogspot without using 'Display:none' - [1]- It was a rollout blogger did, I didn't code it this way.) (I know, I could recode, but it would wind up sending me down another rabbit hole, and I. need. to. finish. my. Mantrid. post.) (Or I could link it like this. You're welcome.)

on the line

Sunday, @ noonish

Trying to decide whether to rip off the source code in the popup box on the page this came from.

The popup looks like this. See that little x in the bottom right corner? When you click it, nothing happens except the real x in the upper right corner shows up, and there is no way to get to it to click the stupid popup out of the way, so it looks like the only solution is to fill in the blank.

This is the frame source.

I'm terribly lazy. I have several wordpress blogs and never downloaded the kit. I know, I'm a lazy loser. I'm looking at a WP plugin directory page about advanced iframes.

I'm thinking one of these days I wanna do evil stuff like that (but less annoying, because I want people to actually see my site without being a turd about it), but right now all I can think about is 1- food, 2- a nap, 3- how much less of an egotistical narcissist I look compared to this guy letting the whole world know he has 4300+ subscribed readers on a popup that looks like no one can get around without subscribing, and 4- that post was created 9 months ago and has only one like and one comment after 5241 views. I'm trying to decide whether that means the majority of the readers never figured out how easy it is to get the popup out of the way by clicking ~outside~ of that little box, or if the feedburner total could be counting from popups that open up across all his posts and then that wouldn't mean anything. Still, I'm oscillating between admiring his evil genius and eye rolling over 4/5 of his readers being that gullible if the simplest scenario is that the popup counts subs from each individual post. Just saying that the 4300+ subs looks like he's harvesting noobs, and that's not a good way to chest thump your score, especially when the content one scores on is other people's stuff collected into one place.

I'll be honest, I look at my feedburner about once a year because I rarely get subs, BUT, that doesn't stop lurkers from clicking and even bookmarking my feedburner reader because easier viewing and sneaky. You don't hafta sub to see a reader. I'll never forget the first time I realized that the lack of sub numbers didn't mean a lack of other stats. So yeah, that guy looks a little pompous, tricking people into subbing like that. But I do admire the evil genius of it.

1- The food part. I'm warming up sauerkraut and hotdogs. -- Ok, I just inhaled them like I've been starving for a week.

2- The nap part. Feels like a virus. Bunny's dad has a fever, @bonenado and I feel kinda weak and ache all down our arms and just wanna curl up under a blanket, and I'm really hoping this isn't a stomach thing because I'm hearing complaints. Keeping my fingers crossed I make it through the TWD live tweet tonight.

I don't know why I'm even still staring at my screen. I'm going to bed.

Still Sunday @ 3:30 p.m.

Ok, cool to figure out that google news allows personalization of news sources, so Pinky blog is apparently now being routed as a 'news' source. *snif*

Even if it's an arch-enemy keeping an eye on me, that's just an awesome thing to see in referrals, you know?

Yeah, I slept hard. I feel much better. If I were a zombie I'd at least be able to lurch around growling now.

~an hour later~

Sorry, wound up following a stalk link and laughed myself nearly out of my chair. I get nasty bronchial spasms when I laugh and can't stop, and then I croup for an hour afterward. I'm one of those people who are at risk to literally die laughing, as it were. Whenever I start laughing like that I have to do anything I can to stop laughing, so I quickly diverted back here to bore myself writing about it. It's working.

From Bronchial Asthma- "Intense emotion, such as crying, shouting, or laughing, may provoke hyperventilation, a rapid inhalation of oxygen that causes the airway to narrow. In asthmatics, hyperventilation often results in an attack. Many asthmatics are especially sensitive to physical exercise in cold weather." I just spasm so hard I can't draw in a breath and I can feel rapid hypoxia coming on almost to the point of falling down.

Yeah, y'all are wondering what made me laugh so hard. I'm not even going to try to explain the route getting there, except to say it started with finding out I'm actually referenced as an article source author for something completely unrelated to this.

Ug, still 3 1/2 hours till The Walking Dead. Back into Sherlock. See you all on the twitters later. I'm loving some fans.