-Mobile continuation from Xanga blog PinkyGuerrero, this blog is PinkyGuerrero, ongoing continuation at blogs Pinky & Janika & Basically Clueless & PinkFeldspar, in that order.
-Most of the graphics and vids click to sources.
-Personal blog for Janika Banks.
 photo README2.gif


Thursday, September 28, 2017

that cheerful Howdy! hasta stop

I forgot to get the good pic again, but remembered to grab one coming back thru on my way home this time. The other side says Partridge Family. Also noticed this time it's for sale. Don't know if you can read that, maybe next week I'll get a better pic.

And I felt bad for not doing the neighbor's squash blossoms justice last week, so here's a better shot.

I have done my planning, my shopping, and yesterday initiated my original paleo / South Beach / Rosedale health plan combo diet. The only thing I purchased with Rosedale was the book (used, spent under $2), didn't buy anything else or take any supplements, and the rest I just studied online and did on my own.

Back around 2009 I had become desperate and bent my mind around putting together my own health care team. By 2011 I was cleaning off years of medications and lost 50 pounds in 4 months, but it took a lot of research on how diabetes actually works, how 'nutrition' is skewed into the wrong foods by big companies, how to survive without medications by actually paying attention to what I put into my own mouth. It's work paying attention and keeping track, but it's very easy with all the mandatory food labeling we have nowadays.

This is my public trail through healing.

pill phobia at its finest - coming out of the stupor of medication addictions, poor medication management, over prescribing

my problem with healthy food - challenging the healthy grains concept

Holidays With Diabetes- Easier than you think - An easy way to understand what the holidays do to diabetics

Diabetes and Steroid Meds - Surviving steroid treatment for other chronic illnesses and allergic reactions while maintaining control with diabetes

I've come a very long way since I wrote those articles. I've slipped off my own path a bit, regained a little weight, backslid into pain complications and medication problems, and now I'm very tired of 2017 dragging on like this. Time to get my control back.

Because I keep after continual physical therapies throughout the year, I am still not only maintaining function around my home, but keeping up with far more activity than I ever dreamed I could do. I still can't get on my knees at all without destroying them and have almost continual pain somewhere in my body during everything I do, including reclining and sitting, but it's manageable. However, I've lost my grip on that manageable part a few times this year, and I want it back. Part of losing that grip is because I'm slipping on my nutrition planning, and it doesn't take much for the diabetic headaches and slower healing and stomach problems and nerve pain to pop back in my door with a cheerful Howdy!

It's too easy to grab quick and starchy bites on the run because I have high energy young people in my house now. I must menu plan for MYSELF and stick to it. I work around food allergies, so I heavily depend on dairy for proteins, but some dairy has lactose and lately my glucose spiking is worse on lactose because of my new blood pressure pill. So, I bought an extra dozen eggs this week and boiled them up. One boiled egg a day will replace my second cup of coffee with creamer (canned milk).

I also bought bacon. Bacon gets a really bad rap when it's actually much better for you than cookies and cake and pie and spaghetti, especially when you're diabetic. It's easy to cook up a package of bacon and then keep it on hand in the fridge. When others grab a cupcake, I can grab a piece or two of bacon, and later I can use the bacon drippings to cook up a big load of pan roasted brussels sprouts, which are even more awesome with aged balsamic and grated parm.

Guys, I lost 50 pounds in 4 months one year without even trying just doing THAT and stopping when I reached 1500 calories. I could nibble all day and still dropped 5 bowling balls off. It never really hits home how much we carry around until you pick up a bowling ball and go wow, that was IN ME.

Anyway, I reached a point in 2011 where I felt like a skinny fat person, which was really fun for new clothes (got down to an 18), and I would really like to go past that now. I've been in size 20 jeans for awhile and if I'm going to be having difficulty with pain and possible falling (the klutz is becoming strong again), I'd like to be easier for others to help getting back up, knowhutImean? So I bought butter and bacon and eggs and cheese and brussels sprouts and broccoli and lettuce (I love lettuce wraps around chicken tenders!) and stuff like that, and let's see how the rest of the year goes.

I've been hovering just above 200 pounds for months, I wanna break through that. Can I do it? I've never lost weight on gabapentin before, plus I'm back on low dose xanax and still on daily zyrtec. In 2011 I was NOT on meds bossing my weight/water retention around, because I had spent 3 years cleaning off most of my meds and got into physical therapy. We'll see what happens. I do know that I gained weight this year on baclofen and higher doses of gabapentin, so the baclofen is gone and the gabapentin is back on very minimal pain control.

I. Want. This.

click for more fall gifs

Wednesday, September 27, 2017

I feel better, so much better

click for official Doc Brown Lego
I hope I'm not jinxing myself to say I'm loving these 'nightmares' that metoprolol is known for.

click for links to people freaking out about their nightmares
So last night Scott and I were checking out a new game on the internet and wound up with super stack overload from pausing while we went out to eat and then coming back to frozen screens. And then that turned into meeting Clara and thinking she never shuts up (well, in a good way, I suppose) and she showed me a note where The Doctor (Eleven) had written that he'd introduce to her to someone with the added "by the way, she LOVES to talk" notation, and when I ran into him later I was all Hey, is that my mom you wrote to Clara about and he smiled and put his finger up to his lips and said Shhh just in time as Clara walked up, so she got to go talk to my mom and they really hit it off. Then for some reason a bunch of super tornadoes got stuck by Kansas City and failed to do any damage because #fail, so me and a couple people went outside after dark ghost hunting, and alla sudden we ran into a lifesized Lego of Doc Brown turned into a Minecraft zombie with a Minecraft Lego villager zombie right behind him, and next thing you know Lisa Marie Bowman was narrating us through a Late Night Movie with more Minecraft Lego zombies spawning all around us and standing there menacingly at us, and then a big white cube appeared out in the field with 'Note to Pinky' on it. My last thought before waking up was How do I take a page off a minecraft cube to see what's written next?

If that's a nightmare, yes, please. I've been through several weeks now of the cutest nightmares I've ever had on my life. Just hope it doesn't backfire because I really don't need psychosis in my life. From Metoprolol-induced visual hallucinations: a case series - "For decades, beta-adrenergic blocking agents have been known to cause adverse CNS effects including psychiatric syndromes, bizarre and vivid dreams, sleep disturbances, delirium, psychosis and visual hallucinations"

I suppose I'd better let my psychologist know this is going on in case I get extra weird and wind up in a 72 hour observation thingy or something. So far it's just dreams though. I suppose last night's dream could have ranked nightmare level status if Doc McStuffins had shown up to turn Doc Brown back and save him from being a zombie, especially if Doc had joined Doc in song.

Fandom smashing. It's what I do. If I were anyone significant in merch I'd be creating so much smash merch that you'd be able to get Minecraft Lego Doc Brown zombie in a Funko. My motto would be We have a Funko for that.

Meanwhile, we're working on an Elsa-Rapunzel braid like super cool superfans DO. Ignore the equivalent of tiny tot cursing.

Tuesday, September 26, 2017

the sparkly thug life

Executive decisions are in order. My new BP med definitely boosts glucose levels, and my morning fasting is now up to 106 instead of the 90s. I get a thumpy heartbeat now after coffee and I know it's the creamer, not the caffeine. Glucose strip testing confirmed I'm getting higher readings now after just coffee, and when my glucose hits 130-140 I get thumpy heartbeats on the way back down to 120, always, anything I eat, no caffeine. I've reconfirmed this many times. Once I'm back below 120, no more thumpy heartbeats. SO. Instead of my 2 large cups of coffee (I've needed rocket fuel for Bunny preschool mornings), it's time to go back to 2 small cups or 1 large cup. That will cut down on some of the lactose bumping my glucose up. (I don't use sweeteners at all in any form, it's just canned milk.)

My menu planning needs to tighten up some more, too. I've been allowing a few starches and sweets here and there, and it's evidently affecting my A1C if my fasting glucose is defaulting higher. If I want to feel well for the holidays, I need to stick to healthy fats and proteins. If I'm going to live well with this new BP med, I need to be smart with my nutrition choices.

Walked through the livingroom last night while @bonenado was flipping channels and caught about a minute of Young Sheldon. Secret from an #actuallyautistic- learning the rules behind breaking the rules was a biggie for me. While the show might've concentrated on the NT viewpoint all around him, what you might not have seen was anyone have a logical discussion with that kid on the rules behind allowing rule breaking (I didn't watch long enough to find out). I have a very sophisticated mental flow chart with many loop counters that I've constructed over many years dealing with this from autistic POV, and I've learned that the rules behind breaking rules is much more important than the structure set up for keeping rules in place. Honestly, I couldn't sit through the show. It was immediately very painful for me. I won't say any more about it, except that I grew up in an era of continual corporal punishment and belittlement. If Young Sheldon helps to change that, great. I just can't rally behind it personally without triggering.

Still not back on server yet, which I'm ok with for the time being. I'm needing to handle a few things around my house and stop putting a couple of other things off. I'm in the pre-holiday-still-funtioning part of fall and need to keep this focus I have before it's gone. Once I get back on server with the new concrete, I may be going some pink places.

I'd have set this to different music, like Craig Chaquico's Dreamcatcher. Both vids are about the same length, so mute the first one and play the second while the first one runs.

Monday, September 25, 2017

Mystery Men review

I'm putting a back up copy here for SyfyDesigns.com. Originally written August 2013 for Nerd Movie.

Mystery Men (1999)

In a world of poorly timed spoofs and parodies, Mystery Men earns the hit and miss brilliance award from yours truly. The reviews on this 'other guys' movie- "We're not your classic heroes, we're the other guys"- are so spread out over the love/hate spectrum that a person could almost set up a viewer psyche analysis chart based on this movie alone.

Mystery Men, chock full of stars and cameos, flopped at the box office during a brief industry spasm when superhero movies suddenly careened into high dollar cheese, case in point Batman & Robin (1997) - IMDB starring George Clooney and Arnold Schwarzenegger. I think to remain true in reviewing Mystery Men in proper context, we must remember this vital part of its placement in movie history. Mystery Men was not only a spoof, but a spoof within a spoof, a layered mockery of not just superhero movies but of the industry itself.

Champion City is a spotter's dream, fun to frame advance and study. Of course it's a spoof on Gotham City, which gets even more fun when you watch the Shoveler drive up to his pink house after a late night saving spree with the boys.

Captain Amazing really does look amazing, but things take a turn for the oh so delightful when the underdogs try to save him later in the movie. This is where you can imagine Batman outgrowing his angst and getting a little fussy with the help.

And who hasn't dreamed of being chosen at a superhero tryout?

Mystery Men is a brilliant tongue in cheek story about the average person's struggle against public expectations in our daily aspirations to rise above the mundane meaningless grind, even if only by a little, while highlighting the industry flaws that veered superhero movies a little off track for awhile. Reviewers who missed the continual fun winks and nods and demanded to know when this movie was supposed to get funny probably weren't cognizant of anything deeper. If anything, that subtlety was probably Mystery Men's undoing for the masses, but for the rest of us it remains a rare gem of sparkling effervescence in an industry that sometimes takes itself a little too seriously. Special wink here to movie reviewers.

Mystery Men - Rotten Tomatoes -The Tomatometer gave Mystery Men a 60% while they reported audience rating at only 51%.

Bad Superhero Parody Movies - Blankman, Mystery Men, John Hancock, My Super Ex -You really can't please some people.

FILM REVIEW: Mystery Men -- Blade Runner meets Naked Gun - The Tech -Lectury. Let's see the reviewer make a better movie.

F This Movie!: Unsung!: Mystery Men -Appreciative, you can tell this guy doesn't hate his job.

Amazon.com: Mystery Men: Ben Stiller, William H. Macy, Hank Azaria, Greg Kinne -John Q Public seems to like this movie just fine.

Seeing Past Crazy: Why Mystery Men is the Greatest Superhero Movie Ever -Wow, someone went deep.

But what about my own review? In the words of 'Baby Bowler', "Let's do some carnage!" Movie quoting as a sport escalates off the roof with this movie, setting it at a solid second to Spaceballs for me. I've watched Mystery Men more times than I've watched Galaxy Quest, which is my fave ever scifi spoof. This movie is my favorite comfort movie when I'm too sick to get out of bed and my favorite movie when I'm tired of everything else. As fallback movies go, I have gotten more value out of this dime than any other movie. Why is that? What is wrong with me?!

That is exactly what Mystery Men is all about, all us other guys. We're not the CEOs drawing up viewer schedules, or producers tossing cash around. We're the Roys and Jeffs and Eddies, just trying to make the world a little better place. We're not rich like Lance Hunt (the Mystery Men version of Clark Kent), or set up with corporate sponsors like Captain Amazing, but we do have standards and dreams and clear boundaries of where evil should be stopped. We all know people like the characters in this movie, we can all identify somewhere on the Champion City spectrum. If we aren't the wannabes ourselves, then we are the wives and mothers and girlfriends and children of the wannabes. Or maybe we even identify with the bad guys in the gangs recruited by Casanova Frankenstein. If there is a movie reviewer out there who can't identify with a character somewhere in this movie, I want to know what in the world makes them think they are qualified to judge superhero movies in the first place. The whole point to comic books and superhero movies is the wannabes who buy the merchandise. The industry wouldn't exist without wannabes.

If you've not yet seen Mystery Men, don't let bad reviews color your decision and skip this one. Of all the superhero movies ever made, this one is my favorite. Batman wishes he had friends like these.

Mystery Men trailer

by Janika Banks
@PinkyGuerrero on twitter

Sunday, September 24, 2017

Bubba Guppy

click for more demotivational posters
I feel like I'm living a groundhog week or something. The deja vu is real, my Matrix is glitched, and the minutes and seconds, Best Beloved, feel like eternities. I've felt this before, kinda like I'm near the end of a strangled euphoric episode. The med control is really slight, the main goal is to keep me eating and sleeping regularly and so far I feel like it's been fairly controlled. I first mentioned this one on the fourth, so that's a pretty long euphoric ep. After spending nearly all of 2017 slowly crashing off pain meds and then switching a BP med, this month has felt like a huge relief and I think I'm overdoing and super wearing myself out. Fibro and euphoria are funny bedfellows.

And of course we're watching Bubble Guppies while the rest of the scifi world catches the new Star Trek series premier. I'm not bothered, just laughing because Bubble Guppies. I would never have known there was such a huge meme world going on out there on children's programming if I weren't living it myself.

But mostly I'm still just really tired. Guys- I TOOK A FOUR HOUR NAP TODAY. Well, I got only 3 hours last night, so that's not terribly unexpected, but I'm already ready for bed again and it's only 7:30. That's a good thing.

In the meantime, my fantasy team is a joke around my house. I benched Gronkowski because groin injury and big ol' orange notification saying he wouldn't be playing. He pulled in 18 points today. I'd take some comfort in Cooks' 44 points, but Mandie's team is over 100 points ahead of mine and there is no way I'll be catching up. I'm trying to feel horrified but I keep giggling at how much this is bothering @bonenado. He wants to get in there and fix my team so bad...

My internet has been so fantastically slow and on/off/on/off all weekend that I tossed Mo Creatures to the winds and played singleplayer. I couldn't even keep my realm pulled up for more than 2 minutes at a time, so trying to get on server would've been a waste of time. In singleplayer I'm not under any pressure to keep my player shop up, so I have felt exceptionally free to think through a few build basics, and like I pointed out, a real article appeared, so I wonder if backing away from my player shop would be good for me this fall, although it's been great for more brain building. I'm getting so good now at automatically organizing and remembering that I managed to pull 3 major autopays through my bank this month without getting into trouble overextending. That's a first. I usually nickel and dime it all out over the year, but this year has been one big thing after another, and it piled up. Well guess what. Player shop was good for braining and I fixed my real life stuff. MONEH.

click for fun pinterest stuff
Well, looky that. It's 8:15 and my whole family has already crashed into bed before me. I guess they're worn out, too.

I've been torturing myself with Sherlolly vids last couple weeks. Not sure what's up with that.

Ok, there should be a law against that kind of melancholy. Let's find something else.

I'm going back to bed

click for good wake up quotes
I used to do little ad promos on Xanga before the big server move. I finally caved to Facebook shoving ad boost thingies in my face and tried it out. Was very surprised the Janika promo far outstripped the Lexxperience promo. I won't be doing it again any time soon, really don't need to be throwing my $$ around like that, but it was a fun experiment.

I've been getting 80-90-100 percents on my CPAP readouts, but last night was a bust, don't think I made it even 3 hours. Therapy on Friday musta caught up with me, kinda feel like I took a tumble down a big hill. Since I got chores caught up yesterday, I'm going back to bed for awhile. If I can't sleep, I'll be rewatching a bunch of old Strong Bad emails that are being loaded this last week.

Saturday, September 23, 2017

the year of fail

Last night's 'nightmare' was a slasher dream severely lacking anything scary because we all got distracted with being able to adopt planets now, and I jumped all over nabbing Mars before anyone else could and was all that and a bag of chips showing off all over the medias. My new BP med clearly states nightmares as a common problematic side effect, but apparently mine turn into party time, so big ol' fail there, BP med. The other night I dreamed about spiders but it was more like I was following them around wondering why they were in slo-mo. Can't even have a proper spider dream.

2017 is the year of fail on all fronts. It's hitting everyone I know, and pretty much there's nothing to roll with because #fail. It's kinda like my facepalm post, all the good memes are over there. All week long people I don't even know have been letting me know I look worn out- Walmart check out clerks, other grandparents picking up daycare tots, people in waiting rooms, and various and sundry others every time I walk in a door or show up in a line.

That being said, I'm 3 days behind in the laundry and apparently didn't shop right for food this weekend, so I'ma scoot like a snail and go get a few things done today. The only thing I'm not failing at, and this is really surprising me, is getting birthday cards out on time. So far. No guarantees for future birthdays.

Ok, good click on this next one, cute compilation of memes there. Number 14 busted me up. 😁 And they were good enough to keep going. 41 made my day.

I haven't pulled this one out in a long time. Fail isn't over yet.

Thursday, September 21, 2017

I lost my zero

Drove by the Partridge Family bus yesterday, meant to get a pic coming back by and I totally forgot. It's really a copy onto a short bus, so it's not the original. Here's the neighbor's squash garden, though. Enjoy.

So I nearly got a first in my stats, right. A couple days ago I noticed I might possibly catch 0 hits for the first time since I started this blog. That's right, over the entire life of this blog, it's never gone 24 hours without being hit before, and I got excited and thought wo, a new thing I can screenshot. And then this happened.

I know, right. I figured mega bot blast and was trying to guess which country this time. Guess what.

I never woulda dreamed. And I'm pretty sure it's related to the end of the world in a couple of days because the date list here, embedded in that tweak list is this post from 2 years ago after the world didn't end on that 23rd, and I'm pretty sure a superbot insta-crawled that entire year over it.

So I guess sharing that link this week to twitter and facebook got me caught up in a curate slam because 'Murica is in a tizzy.

So you guys have 2 days to get all your junk cleaned out of your souls and get your 'so chill forgiving everyone' hats on because the apocalypse is about to pass us by again. And then there's church the next day for the big letdown, so maybe plan potlucks and bring extra desserts.

Other thoughts-
  • Don't use just one letter as a user name thinking no one else will ever use it to get into your bank. I keep accidentally pulling up someone else's bank page.
  • I made fail soup this week and the only way I could eat it was dump a pile of grated parm on it, AND I ATE IT ANYWAY.
  • I dove into singleplayer one day this week and it felt so gooooood. I didn't even care about the updates, I just buried myself in cobble and left Earth behind. Now I'm wondering if I should do that more often because a Lexx post suddenly appeared.
I'm about ready for the world to stop putting glitter on all girl toys. I picked up a cute little mock Ariel for Bunny to play with in the tub and the glitter jumped off instantly. My house is so glittered up already that I feel like Tinkerbell lives here and she's a slob. Even Daisy Duck gives meticulous instruction on how to sprinkle glitter while saying "triangle" so a triangle cloud will rain over a triangle golf course. I wish I had glitter in minecraft, right. I would shoot tubs of it out of a cannon in PVP or something. Imagine the surprise.

Here's my head. See ya.

Sunday, September 17, 2017

in position at the top of the slide, goggles on

The Cassini Grand Finale was kind of like a TV series finale, wasn't it? Years with characters and a storyline, and then it's just over.

I wish Spaceman Spiff was a TV series...

So the really biggie this month was the flip off atenolol to metaprolol. Unless you're on long term meds, you probably don't realize this is a very sucky thing. Current and Resolved Drug Shortages and Discontinuations Reported to the FDA Fortunately for me, this slide over to another med actually made my life a little better, and a couple of long standing issues seem to be resolving. Atenolol is known for cold hands and feet and poor circulation, and may have exacerbated the nerve pain in one of my feet badly enough to making walking difficult. Three weeks on metaprolol seems to be relieving that issue. X-rays reconfirmed degenerative arthritis at L5S1, very common spot where nerve trunk compression causes all kinds of referred pain down the legs (hip joint and foot x-rays are fine), and since I've already been through all my physical therapy options, the best I can do is stay mobile and do the good nutrition, hydration, exercise, and sleep thing so my body will be in top shape to get through the possible shots and surgeries that come next as I get older and this possibly gets worse. It's vital that my foot be able to handle walking as long as possible, and my blood pressure pill change, of all things, seems to be helping that. Who'd a thunk.

The next really biggie this month was completing the 12 visit atlas-axis correction therapy with my chiropractor. X-ray confirmed old whiplash healed wonky and was right there on all the trigeminal and cranial neuralgia. I spent ten years working slowly up to this spot because the pain was so bad for so many years that I could no longer tolerate medications and couldn't handle conventional therapeutic hands on. Short story, I still have issues because all that scar tissue is still healing, BUT getting through focusing on this one spot for a month definitely made this year's stalled out feeling go away. My neck glide from side to side is improved (I couldn't even turn my head left 5 years ago) and I've gained in my control over pain flares. My jaw pain is nearly gone at the moment, and the pressure at the base of my skull that kamikaze'd me through two med fails this year has eased off, thank goodness.

Overall big picture, I'm still saying I'm running to keep up. This wasn't even possible 5 years ago. This year I am keeping up with a real time 3-way schedule- @bonenado's work hours, Bunny's school hours, and her mama's work hours, and I'm able to keep my balance and actually help them keep theirs. I am able to consistently be a positive function with the meals and clean up around here while they do what they need to do to keep everything going, and I'm enjoying my family. That's the really important thing. Just 5 months ago I was having a difficult time with that part because pain and meds.

We'll see how the holiday slide goes this year. This is the time of year I get all my holiday stuff lined up because by the end of October I'm usually so aspienado shutdown that I can't function, so I duck into a hole and let it all gloss over me while I look at the pretty lights. Got my chicken stock (recipe with pix if you want to try it) done up yesterday for the freezer, so the Thanksgiving prep has begun.

Keep moving, guys.

Friday, September 15, 2017

we are number one

I flashbacked most of the day Tuesday. Much of it was like being back 20 years ago.

I didn't blog back then, and struggled with one real friend at a time, when I even had a friend. I had very little social introspection and very limited social assessment skills.

I've worked very hard since then to understand intellectually what I didn't understand intuitively. Because of this experience, this life, I know that changing one's perspective is possible, even being neuroatypical with dx perks, but it greatly depends on dropping judgmentalism (social engineering) and rigidity (personal comfort zones, i.e. ruts).

I've said before that it all boils down to selfish vs selfless, embracing the them with us, owning how we affect others, and deciding who we want to be by the way we handle incoming knocking us down over and over.

It's been tough, but I can see I'm in a much better head place than I would have been if I had taken the selfish route.

And staunchly believing in finding my own social fit saved me far more than anything.

I always hated my name. I found ways to function around the self loathing and I eventually found 'my people'. I love my niches, groups, gangs, fandoms. This one tends to abruptly disappear, but I relish it whenever I find it.

Supervillain. I will own you. Come hell or high water.

Wednesday, September 13, 2017

glitter glam

Looking for that sparkly Halloween butt feeling? It's easy! Let a 4 year old decorate your bathroom with glow in the dark decor and then insist on turning out the light and playing with the decor while she goes 1 and/or 2. Glitter will liberally coat not only her hands and clothes, but the entire toilet including the seat, and then the sink, soap dispenser, and hand towel when you attempt to rake it off. If sitting there takes a long time because "Ooooh, spooky!" is going on while shadows are displaying colored blinky lights in the dark, pretty sure your floor will start to sparkle, too. And this week all that sparkle will be hitting the laundry, so glitter glam is set to asplode any hour now.

If you're like me and wonder what's going into your body after glitter infiltrates your food, you can check it at What Makes Glitter Sparkle? and 15 Shimmering Questions About Glitter, Answered.

Looking forward to sparkly tiny person deposits over the next several weeks. Pretty sure it's been ingested by now. That'll add to the remarkable array of rainbow colors that come with food dyes.

Time to pull out my Pinkyween playlist. Youtube has changed the share options, so I had to dig through my blog and find old code to paste, whee.

Monday, September 11, 2017

in case you're in brain stall

Last big running out the door week, I hope. Finding bits of my brain all over the house this morning. This 2 giant hurricanes in a row over half of everyone I know thing isn't good for my sleep deprivation, so instead of thinking, here is my latest youtube trail.

Bunny LOVES this song. It gets her so excited that she runs around the house screaming. If you have anything stuck in your head that you need replaced, here you go. If you can't handle an earworm today, skip this because you will hate me if you don't.

This is a fantastic vid if you have a high energy child and need to channel that. Bunny is only 4 and already focuses on this while she's trying to copy the dance moves. Sometimes you just need to live in high speed.

If you're really not ready for that kind of brain boost today, psyche into Halloween mode. I love Halloween. This series floats in and out of youtube, so it might disappear again.

@bonenado and I really like these guys.

All righty, I've gotta run. See ya.

Sunday, September 10, 2017

Strategic Loss: A thought experiment with conspiracy theories

Regular readers know I was raised by religion inspired survivalism expecting the apocalyspe to rain fire and brimstone on any given day over a long list of prophetic numerology dates, so it's no surprise this sprung into mind during my shower today. This is a thought experiment style think piece and doesn't reflect any of my current beliefs. That being said, keep an open mind and plunge into political taboo with me.

One of the biggies in conspiracy theory is HAARP related weather control. This has been around for decades, and you guys can go look that up if you want. HAARP weather modification

Another biggie is the One World Order debate, whether it's real, who's actually winning, and whether shadow governments are at the heart of it. I don't care to do anything more than to point out North Korea might be proof that we need a 'world police' over how nations behave, aside from the hundreds of years of international terrorism going on anyway. Personally, I like being able to buy products from other countries, especially delicious food, and I hope that world commerce will eventually solve our famine problems, which is difficult to do with all the other junk in the way.

So I can't help noticing that these big hurricanes are coming hot on the heels of Kim's latest nuke demo, and this scenario popped into my head. Hey, Kim, nukes are so last century, lemme show you how this is going to play out-

  • We will demo on our own people
  • We will show you how organized we can be on a massive scale
  • We will show you how well our people handle mass hysteria and economy fail
  • We will show you how fast we recover
  • We will do this with a very low casualty rate for the mass level of destruction
  • We will take our own economic hit and thrive

So Kim is watching us survive nationwide destruction, rallying around supporting each other, self organizing via communities and businesses, and basically doing what his country would never be able to do with a weather system this big sweeping his own country.

If HAARP is real, if World Order is real, if there really is a shadow government making sure the nice players in world commerce win the game, then Kim's tiny little nuke demos are a joke.

Something to think about.

Wednesday, September 6, 2017

kid of the corn

That scarecrow is in a neighbor's garden practically on the street. This is the view I get every time I pop around a curve driving home. The first week was very disturbing, I thought it was a real little girl.

This is after I pass it.

Since my neighborhood has been weirdly and very staunchly anti-Halloween the last few years, I'm pleased to see it getting creepy around here again, even if it's unintentional.

Was also a big summer for butterflies. I've been a very lazy pic taker this year or you'd have known that already.

This is Bunny betending to have a broken foot one day after school. I was very tired and she let me lay around while her cartoons were on. She cracks me up.

Not a good sign when the doctor gets distracted by a TV set.

I like doing 'research' on my phone when we settle into TV, which comes after an exciting hour of running in from school and putting play clothes on and washing our hands and cooking real food for Papa's supper.

I've always harbored a personal distaste for Mickey, and srsly, it's the ear perspective thing, but the rest of them are ok. I'm an avid Darkwing Duck fan, and I'm pretty sure I saw every ep of the original Duck Tales when my kid was up and coming. I'm noticing, though, that Daisy seems especially helpless quite a lot nowadays, and alpha female Minnie has all the answers, and if she fails, Mickey is the ultimate fixer of everything that goes horribly wrong. You wouldn't believe the articles out there that must've taken hours to write up about Mickey, and I think basically the parents go insane from children's programming and have to vent and get their balance back. I'm not doing well at all with Nick Jr. and Disney Jr., it's affecting my IQ, and definitely affecting my work output. Pure mush up here behind my eyeballs.

Actually, my brain is more 'on' than ever, probably thanks to the CPAP and getting my meds figured out, and I've lately gotten into detailing character development in a couple of sideline novels. I've been rotating 5 working titles this summer, 2 of which (as I've mentioned) are already contracted, and I'm finally getting the hang of our latest new routine which allows me about 2 hours a day to work on whatever I please that isn't chores or physical therapy or anything necessary for the smooth running of my household. Sometimes it's less than that, but I think I can usually count on about 2 hours a day.

Today I'm blowing some of it on blogging a little. What's fascinating is looking back and really seeing how far I've come. 5 years ago one blog post had to be meticulously planned out because my memory was so shockingly bad that I could barely carry through paragraph construction over several hours (some posts would take a whole week), and now I slap stuff out so easily that I rarely even rewrite. So, big plus on the ol' brain healing thing.

Still, I'm spacing out quite a lot, and I'm not sure if it's an overload thing (autism) or a necessary halt and let everything catch up thing with real time nutrition and hydration and other needs, and I can definitely tell when I screw that up with the wrong food. I'm so hypersensitive to my blood sugar level now that I can usually tell you the number before I ever do a glucose strip test. My brain fries hard and fast if I go over 140, and it takes very little to do that. Pain meds make it exponentially worse, which is why I got back off them this year. I learned a long time ago how not to self sabotage with food, but this year got pretty challenging with the med fails.

Anyway, me touching base, and I wanna mention that Barry was a fun inspiration this week. I love this. 😁 This clicks back to source.


Monday, September 4, 2017

I mean, no offense to Montana or anything

Don't even ask me where this stuff comes from, but phrases pop into my head unbidden and so far out of the blue sometimes that I have to drop everything I'm doing and google search just to see if it's a thing. Today's weird brain blurt phrase was "When the whole of Montana is screwed...", and my first thought ok, was that whole or hole? Because if there's a hole in Montana and it's on fire (i.e. wildfires), it would be screwed. You know what? There's really a Big Hole Valley, and sometimes it gets screwed. Apparently wildfires happen every little bit around there.

Sometimes I imagine myself senile in a nursing home just blurting out off the wall phrases. My only guess is that I'm somehow plugged in to the astral hive mind or something and hear random gibberish, like eavesdropping. We hear our brains talking all the time, right, they're processing on the side kinda like we do in dreams, but mine really is a continual mashup of stray narratives. Anyway, this is where it all led me to in internet searches today. Relative or not, it's all interesting. This is what I got looking up 'astral shared mind'.

Aztec Thought and Culture: A Study of the Ancient Nahuatl Mind

Scientists unlock mystery of out-of-body experiences (aka astral trips)

The One Mind: C. G. Jung and the Future of Literary Criticism


Mind-Flown Drones: Astral AR

You're on your own if you really want answers. I just blitz my way around the search list and then go back to what I was doing, which today is switching between minecraft and chores around the house.

I know, if anyone's been paying attention, I've been flattening out another euphoric episode last few days. Pretty sure the new BP med has triggered it. Brain chemicals are funny things.

Sunday, September 3, 2017

feeling pretty good today

Doing this on my phone bcuz ppl still asleep and Jawn is trapped in a bedroom.

Good things-

  • Waking up to Sam asking about Chitin armor.
  • Holly leveling up to wizard yesterday with a grandbaby.
  • Barry remembering the #Snarkalecs enough to make cool joke memes.
  • My kids getting thru the hardest stuff in their lives and still laughing.
  • Bunny and Batman.
  • @bonenado keeping perspective in the fantasy draft bcuz life needs to be SERIOUS, lmao.
  • Diane. Always.
All my people. All of you on my medias. Thank you. I made it thru another weekend.

Friday, September 1, 2017

flunking the draft

Mock if you must, but I love live drafting with @bonenado. It's hilarious and I do stuff just to fall over laughing while he pulls his hair out. My report card this year is rock bottom of the entire league.

I'll share my fave lines from the report.

With Some Early Gambles, 790 Should Call Chip Kelly for Trade Advice
Draft Summary
Despite selecting in the top half of the first round (sixth overall), 790 might as well have been blindly heaving darts at the draft board to decide their picks... 790 should look into the joys of scrapbooking, or bird-watching, or just anything that isn't fantasy football.


Yeah, not a clue. These are all new visitors coming in. That blog was 3 years old last month, has only 90 published posts, and only 4 this year.

Labor Day grillfest this year is ramping up. Twink has been on a Daniel fast for the last 3 weeks and is ready for some MEAT. Sunday we'll be firing up the grill and loading it with filet mignon, BBQ chicken and pork, and possibly shrimp. I figure may as well get it all cooked up and then not have to cook for a few days.

Bunny's arm cast came off yesterday and ceremoniously went into the trash. Nothing like starting school in a cast.

Between Scott's work finally selling, my kiddo and her Batman being in the middle of Houston (now harboring storm fugitives), and Bunny flipping our schedules with pre-K, basically our lives lately... I've got a full agenda today, so see ya.