going full blown terraKhan

if pinky blog isn't rankling enough for you, click to fume-snark

Yeah, I can't go there. Too many triggers this week.

I've also got other stuff on my mind. Pinky blog domain payment just went through and I guess the price went up, so time to look into that. I really had no idea how wild this would get, so many of us out there using this name and all the crazy search referrals I keep running into, but I'm caught in my own setup now and I guess I'll be riding this one out. Oh, the funny games we play amusing ourselves.

Speaking of games, I guess I'm going full blown terracotta support in my player shop. I'm still ripping down a mesa on the resource world before the regen resets, and don't ask me how, but suddenly it seems so easy. I don't know if it was my 6-day stint in single player or what, but I'm all over the new colors and loving the extra points I'm racking up while I glaze.

Started with adding on the dyed clays.

Branching into the glazed terracottas.

these 2 screenshots click back to official game server site if you're interested in checking it out

The brain healing is still amazing me. I created this player shop after the Haven move to Valhalla, so mid July? I remember spending a very confusing week wrapping my brain around the new economy, finding a reasonable balance between the warp buy and sell prices, setting and resetting a hundred signs, very much like actual retail. I spent a couple of months tweaking and finally settled on a good rhythm with the other players. When we upgraded to the latest vanilla recently I thought maybe I would just let go of clay, it seemed a little too much work. Not sure how or when it happened, but I guess all that brain work got some more lights on, and suddenly setting up a whole new shop area seemed really easy and I did it fairly quickly. I was able to keep the 16 color list straight, acquire and process the materials, and set up the signage while handling connectivity issues, player interactions, and real life. Plus all that is going on in hard survival with extra mobs, AND I was also able to keep my cash crop wealth growing.

I don't look back very often on the old blog posts that much nowadays, but this week was a mile marker so I went there. My brain still falls out a bit around the house, still getting my days and weeks mixed up, still a goofball, but apparently I'm getting math back, strategy and planning are falling into place, and multitasking under stress is getting more reliable without feeling lost, yay! I've also noticed that it's easier dealing with anxiety away from the house if I think about what I'd like to do next on the game server instead of paying attention to whatever is ramping up my anxiety. Still thinking my friend pulling me into minecraft was the best possible positive impact on my cognitive glitching, and very thankful for it.

I'm also all over executing my daily care plan, and even on pred for 4 days my fasting glucose was 89 this morning. If I can stick to this the rest of the year, I should be in really good shape by 2018. Just gotta remember I want this and not screw myself up.

I'm missing the real time ST Discovery show scheduling, but right there with you guys on wondering what's going on. Here is one fan theory.


And I've already heard rumors about this tying back to Khan somehow.

• Nicholas Meyer’s Secret ‘Star Trek’ Series May Be a ‘Wrath of Khan’ Reboot
• 'Wrath of Khan' Director Says Says 'Star Trek: Discovery' Comeback Is Personal

And you guys know I love Khan.

• the wrath of the search for spirk
• Things to Do on Your Phone When You Can't Sleep
• Neo/Khan and why our Matrix is screwed

And a whole bunch more posts that 'Khan' shows up in when you put that into the search in Pinky blog.

I love you more than bunnies

click for the Bunny Halloween wiki
bunnies and Halloween are not strangers

I think one of my sister's girls started that one years ago, not sure if it was around Easter or what else was going on, but it has stuck with us ever since and we say it a lot. :edit: This is the original source.

I love you more than bunnies.

Growing up in a family where hearing "I love you" didn't happen often enough around me, or was said more out of expectation or under trite circumstance, I went out of my way to change that with my family. It was hard, but once I got used to it, it started rolling off my tongue unbidden even to strangers, sometimes in very funny or awkward places. Oh, well, lol. Maybe someone needed it.

Last night's vivid dream was about bunnies. If we could see in bunny form what humans do to each other, maybe we could understand better. Like when someone's day gets crushed by an angry person flinging their emotions around, literally seeing a bunny stomped hard with a big boot and the painful squeal of death while eyes gouge and guts and brain spurt out. Or like if someone was all best of luck to someone else whose bunny was out in rough choppy water and you could see the bunny was literally drowning in front of you. Or like sending someone off to handle something with a you can do this, and there was a very sad bunny hiding deep in a backpack or glove box. Sad bunnies would be pretty hard to push out there into the big cruel world. We'd want to cuddle them and make them feel safe.

click for tons of clip art

Today is brought to you by the letters K and MC and the number every 30-60 seconds. Kaspersky is a big bad biatch, and I really love it. Kaspersky on Windows 10 is a whiny brat. I've used Kaspersky for years, so I'm pretty good at figuring out the drags I go through and adjusting them. Our latest adventure together ramped up when I updated my minecraft game server downloads and started getting kicked off for java.io.IOException every 30-60 seconds. Kaspersky doesn't like java and tells on java all the time, so I'm well aware of the crap on my end. I fiddled around with adding exceptions and told it to ignore any more java, and at least I was able to log on. I spent an entire day relogging nearly every minute. I'm a machine, I got a LOT done in between those kicks, like renovating my player shop and farming up another $75K or so. But I got really tired of it, so I finally took the whole safe money off. I don't know what is going on with the latest Kaspersky updates and the latest W10 and Chrome duels, but I had to take safe money off just to be able to stay on a game server on a top of the line gaming laptop. Have I mentioned I'm about ready for the competition to stop? That it's time for the total integration and smooth interface of internet? That I'm ready for the brain chip? Sheesh.

If the only interesting thing in that last paragraph was 'game server', my latest post is here.

click to get to official server site

After a sweet lull in my personal allergy hell (got through ragweed season on half the usual amount of antihistamines), everything flared super big yesterday and I had to slam extra zyrtec, double the benadryl I usually take when needed, pepcid (H2 blocker) and after 30 minutes decided I'd better get on that pred burst or wind up in clinic for shots, so I'm on prednisone for 3 more days. Between our basement getting dredged for yard sale (went fantastic, yay!) and the leaf mold from autumn starting (official allergy to leaf mold), and all of it going in and out the door past me, my histamine levels were probably already popping, and then all it took from there was one of my old pain pills (some meds are well known for spiking normal histamine levels even though there is no allergy to the med), and bam. I'm not supposed to be taking those any more anyway and had gotten down to one a week, and yesterday's 30 minutes of headache relief got blitzed by my uvula turning into a lawn sprinkler. You don't mess around with that kind of reaction. Took nearly an hour to get that under control, but much better now. Guess I'd better go back to twice a day zyrtec through autumn peak. Maybe I can cut back down once we're past that.

SO. I'll be super watching my blood sugar next few days. If you're in diabetic hell with steroids for some reason, I wrote a post for that called Diabetes and Steroid Meds. If you need more, go here. I'm pretty good at this, fasting glucose was 78 this morning after yesterday's prednisone.

I think I'm getting better at cramming a lot of stuff into less space. 😋 Let's get out of here, I need breakfast and more game time. I didn't get on server for 6 whole days in a row last week, and I've been extra special good lately, so I'm going to PLAY. I don't think some of the kids nowadays appreciate that my gen inventing playing. All your tech and industries- my peeps made 4 u. Let's go enjoy something today.

the sparkly thug life

Executive decisions are in order. My new BP med definitely boosts glucose levels, and my morning fasting is now up to 106 instead of the 90s. I get a thumpy heartbeat now after coffee and I know it's the creamer, not the caffeine. Glucose strip testing confirmed I'm getting higher readings now after just coffee, and when my glucose hits 130-140 I get thumpy heartbeats on the way back down to 120, always, anything I eat, no caffeine. I've reconfirmed this many times. Once I'm back below 120, no more thumpy heartbeats. SO. Instead of my 2 large cups of coffee (I've needed rocket fuel for Bunny preschool mornings), it's time to go back to 2 small cups or 1 large cup. That will cut down on some of the lactose bumping my glucose up. (I don't use sweeteners at all in any form, it's just canned milk.)

My menu planning needs to tighten up some more, too. I've been allowing a few starches and sweets here and there, and it's evidently affecting my A1C if my fasting glucose is defaulting higher. If I want to feel well for the holidays, I need to stick to healthy fats and proteins. If I'm going to live well with this new BP med, I need to be smart with my nutrition choices.

Walked through the livingroom last night while @bonenado was flipping channels and caught about a minute of Young Sheldon. Secret from an #actuallyautistic- learning the rules behind breaking the rules was a biggie for me. While the show might've concentrated on the NT viewpoint all around him, what you might not have seen was anyone have a logical discussion with that kid on the rules behind allowing rule breaking (I didn't watch long enough to find out). I have a very sophisticated mental flow chart with many loop counters that I've constructed over many years dealing with this from autistic POV, and I've learned that the rules behind breaking rules is much more important than the structure set up for keeping rules in place. Honestly, I couldn't sit through the show. It was immediately very painful for me. I won't say any more about it, except that I grew up in an era of continual corporal punishment and belittlement. If Young Sheldon helps to change that, great. I just can't rally behind it personally without triggering.

Still not back on server yet, which I'm ok with for the time being. I'm needing to handle a few things around my house and stop putting a couple of other things off. I'm in the pre-holiday-still-funtioning part of fall and need to keep this focus I have before it's gone. Once I get back on server with the new concrete, I may be going some pink places.

I'd have set this to different music, like Craig Chaquico's Dreamcatcher. Both vids are about the same length, so mute the first one and play the second while the first one runs.

poster child

click for more demotivation

Sorry about yesterday, was running around town and wanted to check something.

Big A++ on my 6 month followup with my sleep doctor. I'm very difficult with med compliance, but it sounds like I'm one of the most CPAP compliant people they've ever seen. Srsly, 2 decades on 6 or less hours of sleep on 90% of nights, and for a number of those years it was 2-4. I was the poster child for 'sleep deprivation won't actually kill you'. I have a will of steel and a healthy fear of dying in my sleep. Y'all fussing about you'd rather die than live with CPAP, your choice, and see you in the next life. I'm busy and I've got things to do.

My summer syllabus is working beautifully so far. I might share it sometime. It's a maintenance aka back on track schedule that commands a rhythm of regular down time, and my fasting glucose this morning is already down to 94. Right? It was 110 ten days ago. Doing this without diabetes meds, guys. Controlling internal environment, balancing incoming chemicals (pain control), I can do this. It's getting more and more obvious that pain referral, while being a tricky bastard, can be tricked itself. Psychoneuroimmunology. You can learn to spell it just as I did. You can also check it out. If you want more in-depth, here is wikipedia.

Thanks to rain gods, fertility goddesses, wood nymphs, and field fairies, the pixie dust around here is obnoxiously high and even worse when it's being thrown about during mowing. Our tiny grasslands nestled all through Mirkwood are as lush as I've ever seen them. Still cranking around the clock on zyrtec and benadryl, and still at least 6 weeks away from ragweed season. This year promises to be a real booger. Get it? Nvrmnd.

Yeah, I dunno wassup with my brain this morning. It seems a bit jolly. Maybe it's the blood sugar coming down. Hope this means my crabby spell is about over.

Day 24- last of 2016 30 day challenge

how I imagine a more realistic Santa

It's still Friday the 23rd, but I'm watching @bonenado get ready for a bow hunt today. It's been one of those dumb weeks where he wanted a tree down between the house and propane tank, couldn't get his new chainsaw going because it flooded so quickly, already had the tree braced for fall direction, was going to tie that to the back of his truck to drag free, wound up taking the chainsaw back to the hardware store to get Paul Bunyun himself to get that first crank sputtered up, finally got that tree down with his old saw, and since I don't ask a lot of questions, that's pretty much all I know.

So when he got me later more toward sunset to peek out our bedroom window at a couple of deer in the yard, I couldn't help pointing out that totally proves my theory- Deer do not care about his scent when he goes out hunting. There he was, out there smelling like a sweaty old guy, gas fumes, chainsaw exhaust fumes, car fumes, whatever else he was doing, did the deer care? Nope. They smell this stuff every day, this is normal around here for them, and it didn't stop the deer from coming right into our back yard. All these fancy scent free soaps and fox and doe pee is pretty expensive, and the more he tries, the lower the results.

Maybe some of that sank in. He's skipping his special shower this morning, eating a normal breakfast with spicy sausage (he usually gets after me for giving him breath that the deer will smell), just casually watching the weather channel and eating in his camo bathrobe before he gets all camo'd up to go walk Mirkwood with a bow. That's his braincation time, leave the ratrace behind and enjoy a commune with nature. It's as close to a real break as he ever gets from real life hammering away, and it doesn't last very long.

I'm going to make that boy an apple pie while he's out. He's been good giving up ice cream, and bite for bite he'll get much less sweet (I can control the sugar) and more nutrition out of apple pie. He's agreed to let me help train him down on the carbs until he gets his fasting glucose down.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I would hand out nap coupons for Christmas if I could

Now it's Christmas Eve! We get a Bunny today while mama finishes up a long list of to-dos. I like being the stand-by meemaw that helps #allthethings go smoother.

I have very little else floating around my head. I still don't have that new area rug down yet. Plans have changed in the blurs around us so many times that I've decided to wait till Christmas is officially over. I've reached a level in life where cleaning a house both before and after an event is ridiculously challenging and taxing, so as long as I'm caught up on regular household chores, great. I just can't handle a brand new area rug being walked all over on a wet week by a bunch of people who probably won't take their shoes off, no matter how jolly the weekend is.

It's just now hitting 5:30 and @bonenado has already started his chipmunk-squirrel-hamster type bustling around, so it's time to get on the ball and put on my Mrs. Claus mask.

Plz to note the people in the above memes have so far still made it through 2016, and they are frickin' old. Not all hope is lost, guys.

You never hear this on a Christmas music station...

Day Sixteen- last of 2016 30 day challenge

Laughing my head off, @bonenado fell to 2nd place just before our matchup. He usually spreads out over several fantasty teams, but this year it's just the SnarkAlecs League, so all his emotional investment is in one place. That means our matchup will be even funnier if he loses this week. I'll get to watch him pace, and giggle back as I walk by.

Yeah, notice how my percentage went up since last night, lol. Every little number will bother him tremendously. He knows my team as well as he knows his own, every little update and report, the weather predictions, wouldn't be surprised if he knows what they eat.

Speaking of eating, you guys know I hafta really crank down on my carbs for glucose control because I no can haz meds, right? And I'm really good at it. Well, that doesn't make my SO really good at it. He's defied my gained knowledge behind my back for so many years that I have finally just stopped even bothering him. I watched my mom die from diabetes, if my husband thinks he's some kind of atypical superman who can will his glucose around, fine. I've tried everything, including going out of my way to make healthier nibblies that even I can't eat because allergies and carbs, and he still buys more junk behind my back. So it's his choice and I just don't think about it.

He's really sweating it this morning, though. After years of managing to toe that 126 line, his doctor finally put him on metformin, and now we get to see how that's working out. Well, thinking a med will do the grunt work so he can freely enjoy more junk has turned into an even higher A1C and fasting glucose... He was healthier without the med because he was afraid of having to go on the med, but now that he's on the med, all caution to the wind, as it were, and now he's more diabetic than ever.

Mkay.

So he's cognitively flailing about his fantasy team AND his doctor follow up today. Merry Christmas. I'm just laughing. He's such a cartoony dork. Well, if he wants to be around in good shape for Bunny growing up, he needs to straighten up. Every ten years is exponentially more iffy for older people.



Playing with google translate. It doesn't quite translate back the way I wrote it, but it's close enough.

Je n'ai jamais rêvé de la revoir. Même la réunion la plus brève vaut la peine d'attendre près de dix ans. Elle a tout vu dans le chemin et a vu le vrai moi bien avant que je puisse me voir. Et elle m'aimait.

Je n'oublierai jamais cela aussi longtemps que je vis.

Je pourrais la voir dans deux semaines, sauf ce que le cosmos nous lance. Je flotterai tout au long de Noël à y penser et à toutes les choses que j'aimerais avoir dit et peut-être toutes les choses que nous allons parler du reste de nos vies.



I never dreamed I'd ever see her again. Even the briefest meetup is worth waiting nearly ten years. She saw through everything in the way and saw the real me long before I could see myself. And she loved me.

I'll never forget that as long as I live.

I might get to see her in two weeks, barring whatever the cosmos throws at us. I will float through Christmas thinking about it and all the things I wish I had said and maybe all the things we will talk about the rest of our lives.

-Aspienado

THE ROOF

Got the call last night, said they'd be out there 'bright and early'. Scott is off on Fridays unless overtime, so I'm going into town with him this morning, avoid a few hours of noise and disturbance.

Scott got his fasting glucose checkup couple days ago and utterly failed this time, finally shot way over the 126 cut off into the 130s. He doesn't allow me in the doctor with him, but I'll be able to freely mock before and after.

I've had to put up with his holier-than-thou my DNA trumps yours for years, so now I get to rub it in his face if he winds up on metformin and has to deal with *cough* side effects *cough*. (In 2011 I was pulled back off over severe side effects in which I nearly dehydrated over just a few days, so I just count carbs and test a lot.)

So if you don't see me on the twitters or facebook, I'm either not home or I can't get online.

I missed the Heroes Reborn premiere last night because resolving a couple of tech issues about something else, but ran into tidbits of live tweet and can't wait to see it later today. I know Zach won't be back, but you know I'm a Sylar fan. This is the roof irl. Yeah, Sylar is the roof. We've been with this roof a long time. Definitely breaking up this time.

rolling with the punches

Yesterday was my hottest week to date on my new mobile viewing Lexx fan blog copied over from the original on Xanga while I still wait for tech support upgrade problem stuff to iron out.

The night before I snipped that, I purchased the previously owned lexxperience dotcom to point traffic to my Lexxperience blog. It expired long ago enough that there is no cache left of what was in it. No idea if my little jump in traffic overnight came from people still trying to click that dotcom or not.

None of my stat counters match at all. This one (above) that is an internal part of blogger is probably the most accurate for identifying devices and browsers and countries of origin, but doesn't show me landing pages or IPs. It's only 6 weeks old so I'm surprised at the amount of info I'm already able to see. My stats have gone through such a nasty grind, it's good to see numbers again. I got to where I was getting several thousand hits a week on the original blog, which is pretty good for a 'dead' TV show, but that naturally plummeted with the server migration and the fans thought another site just simply went down or disappeared for a couple of months. I've worked really hard to get it back up to nearly a thousand hits in 6 weeks.

Today I start physical therapy back up again after a couple months off. I've been doing PT for 8 weeks at a time several times a year for 2 years. Lots of changes have been going on, really good ones. I've never done it while I'm dosed up on a prednisone taper. I'll have to move a dental cleaning next week because of the prednisone so I can avoid unnecessary antibiotics. 

So far the weight is just melting off and I'm not even trying. The nutrition counselor wants me to stay at 1500 calories a day and get at least 130 mg of carbs a day. Well, when you cut something like wheat completely out, it's almost hard to eat that much. I have a list of unlimited veggies I can eat, I don't even bother counting calories or carbs with them. I love salads stuffed with with cauliflower and radishes and big ol' messes of fried brussels sprouts and onions, so I'm able to feel full whenever I want. Made a nice soup yesterday with 3 kinds of meat in it- burger, brats, and chicken- with some celery and carrots in it and have eaten to my heart's content and still losing. I even got into a box of Kix for a snack. As long as I hold the portion down on anything carby, I'm fine.

Also really cool how my fasting glucose dropped right back into the 80's as soon as I cut wheat. 88 yesterday, 84 today. Wheat apparently is not my friend. I had avoided it for awhile at first because I was restricting carbs anyway, but it snuck back in when both girls got pregnant and had babies, and this last summer, even though I've been holding down to one or two cookies at a time, that was enough to destroy the good I had done. My fasting glucose was back up around 115 and I had put a little weight back on that wouldn't come back off. I know this sounds cliche, but I'm almost thankful I suddenly started reacting like crazy every time I put something wheat in my mouth. I had the flushing, some airway involvement, and even a couple of rashes for two weeks before we finally got it controlled. Seem to be doing fine now. Still doubled up on zyrtec, still on 60 mg prednisone for now, but thankfully have relief. I guess my body finally just said enough, didn't want to go back to the dark place I'd been years before, full of ketones and misery and illness and pain.

Thunder rolling through. I'm trying to wake up again. Boinged awake at 2:30 and couldn't get back to sleep until around 5, then back up around 6:30, not boinged at all. Kinda dragging now. Need to wash my hair and get out the door. Looks like rain all day. I'd better get going. Click this to see more beautiful art.