Happy May stuffs

I bin bizzy!

That lilac bush up there is 20+ years old, about 10 feet tall now. I remember when it was a twig. This next is our redbud tree. We've never seen it flower along the bigger branches like that before, usually sticks to the smaller branches. Maybe growing new baby branches?

The clover patches are coming in really thick. We used to have lots of wild bunnies but I haven't seen any in years, not sure why. Bunnies love clover.

Baby butterfly bushes sprouting in. My yard will smell like someone tipped a giant vat of honey over when they bloom.

Papa got lots of help this last weekend.

Worms!

I got lots of help, too. We've got mixed flowers, cantaloupe, zucchini, and radishes started. Some sight words also magically appeared out of nowhere and surprised all of us. She had never spontaneously made them herself on paper outside of a classroom as far as I know.

A friend gave me this conch a long time ago, and it has always looked beautiful under a little tree. I don't know what happened here, maybe the winter was extra rough and little critters started gnawing for minerals or something. Now we can see how pretty the inside looks! Hard to see, didn't use any filters, but the pink is glossy and magical.

This happened across the street the other day. No idea what they were doing, but something got fixed rather pronto, and then they were gone again. Water line? No idea.

Someone got face painted at a school carnival.

Getting pretty good at first shot on target with that flame bow. Got me a gamer girl.

Kinda like a tiny little Felicity Smoak, lol.

Caught one of those flash sales and grabbed this. It's here if you want one.

Not a clue what I was saying here, but it's from a few days back.

I know, I used to post pix all the time and I almost never do anymore. My Batman turns 5 pretty soon, so maybe we'll see what he's up to soon.

Hang on a sec, I'm being hacked by something and I've gotta reboot to get some stupid popups outa my way. K, I'm back. Kaspersky was throwing fits. I need to take that off since it's no longer properly supported in the U.S. It loves to hate java, but I can't help wondering if it itself is part of the back door in on that, and maybe that's why a ton of big companies and govt offices dropped Kaspersky like a hot potato. From 9-13-17 Federal Agencies Ordered to Stop Using Kaspersky Software

I've been doing a lot of thinking last few months about money *wow* my blogger editor keeps moving... I never see it do this. Not the first time something weird has happened while I blog, live blogging is my fave sport. And the save button seems to be going off every few seconds. I'm trying to figure out if I'm doing this or what. It's like when I want to shift but not really. Or like when a finger slips onto two buttons but not really. And every time I mention it again, it stops. So I guess I'll keep typing. I have remote turned off, hopefully that didn't default after an update or something. testtest Welp, moving on.

Ok, back to the money thoughts. I was thinking about how I don't need the dotcom for this blog, that it's not pertinent to the web ranking and was never part of my plan, and people come straight here anyway without it. And for a couple of hours I was all into letting it go. But then it hit me that some of the funnier search referrals are really coming in for Pinky porn, and they wind up staying and reading several pages, which cracks me up. There are so many Pinky Guerreros out there, legit businesses, and only a couple are actually porn, so I dunno why no one ever grabbed this dotcom, but it hit me *wow* do you mind I'm trying to type here. lol, my mouse just moved on its own. Ok, where was I. Ok, it hit me that while I've got the dotcom, a porn slaver can't use it, right? Because you know that's what a lot of that is online, it's slaving. Very few people legit decide to go into their own porn biz and learn all the ropes, there's plenty of help, and quite a lot of bios out there are set up to look like independent accounts by females and children, but if you stand back and look at how generic and the same formatting they are, it's basically like porn farming, like the way you can set up auto farming with redstone on minecraft, wel

aaaand this just happened right when I was typing that.

Ok, that was last night and I just went to bed after that. Now it's morning.

My point is, as long as I own my dotcom, no one else can own it for something yucky. As long as I own it, it redirects minds away from addiction enslavement and toward actual thought. So I might keep that one.

Then I got to thinking about the old Lexx forum that I've been paying for. It's unusable, and I haven't been able to contact anyone about it for years. I basically have the info to keep paying for it and that's it. I don't have the power to migrate it or fix it. If I stop paying for it, will it disappear? Will the owner stir and ask for donations? Is the owner even still alive? I could conceivably copy/paste content to a new area that is much cheaper if all we're doing is keeping the content from disappearing. If I do that it'll be a LOT of work. It would go to another forum I pay for that would be open to public, and I'd basically have only 5 scant months or less to get that done before annual fee comes back up. That changed on me, by the way. I had paid ahead 5 years and they up and changed the annual fee the next year, making it much more expensive, so I'm shelling out over $300 a year now for a dead forum that I can't fix. I've put years of pocket money into that fandom museum. I don't know what else to do. But the second it would disappear, someone would ask me why...

That last paragraph wore me out just writing it.

Anyway, stuff like that. Stuff I pay for that could go toward other stuff instead. My budget is super tight and most of my money goes toward my own health care. I nailed down about $45 spending money per month, and I'm so terribly frugal that I manage to do big stuff with it. Still, all this stuff isn't technically necessary to overall future plan I originally made, and this might be the year I pare it back down to why I'm here in the first place. All that distraction into other things was because of other people pushing me this way and that, and I learned a lot and actually had fun and grew in many ways that were good for me, but I've got to pull the scattered mess back together now. I figured out my own stuff along the way, and it feels like it's time and I think I'm about ready. Maybe I should let go of the extra stuff.

flunking the draft

Mock if you must, but I love live drafting with @bonenado. It's hilarious and I do stuff just to fall over laughing while he pulls his hair out. My report card this year is rock bottom of the entire league.

I'll share my fave lines from the report.

With Some Early Gambles, 790 Should Call Chip Kelly for Trade Advice
Draft Summary
Despite selecting in the top half of the first round (sixth overall), 790 might as well have been blindly heaving darts at the draft board to decide their picks... 790 should look into the joys of scrapbooking, or bird-watching, or just anything that isn't fantasy football.

Meanwhile-

Yeah, not a clue. These are all new visitors coming in. That blog was 3 years old last month, has only 90 published posts, and only 4 this year.

Labor Day grillfest this year is ramping up. Twink has been on a Daniel fast for the last 3 weeks and is ready for some MEAT. Sunday we'll be firing up the grill and loading it with filet mignon, BBQ chicken and pork, and possibly shrimp. I figure may as well get it all cooked up and then not have to cook for a few days.

Bunny's arm cast came off yesterday and ceremoniously went into the trash. Nothing like starting school in a cast.

Between Scott's work finally selling, my kiddo and her Batman being in the middle of Houston (now harboring storm fugitives), and Bunny flipping our schedules with pre-K, basically our lives lately... I've got a full agenda today, so see ya.

scattered in a focused kind of way, sort of

my new theater next to my evil conference room and shark tank

Looking at 4:28 a.m. wondering where in the world all the days went because it was just 4/20...

I made the executive decision last night to break my evening zyrtec in half. Yesterday's point of saturation created mildly dissonant leaps into alternate dimensions, and I'm losing track of the important stuff, like suddenly realizing yesterday that my automatic withdrawals for my part D and F plans might still be screwed by the 4/19 thing and then promptly forgetting it.

I'm barely even out on the medias and still managed to tick someone off yesterday, so I'm going to keep sticking to minecraft or something. I dreamed last night we could make real life stuff with minecraft, and I had made a nice RV like rich people have when they do travel vacations, filled it full of neat stuff, and then other people showed up one day and totally griefed it, just tore it apart and took everything. All my clothes were gone, my debit card had been in one of the minecraft bureau drawers in one of the little bedrooms, so that was gone, all the food was gone, and I was just stuck with everything gone and no way to replace it. I had to start all over from scratch. Since I've literally gone through that on blogs and had to start all over again on social medias, the dream doesn't surprise me. I'm sure the debit card part came from having to update my info across all those accounts.

I think this is the most off track I've been since I came back out in 2012. Every month has been a real grind through something. I keep reminding myself I still haven't made any money mixups for months now (almost a year), which is really big. Whatever ground I feel like I'm losing is still progress.

Statcounter says I've just passed in the first 4 months of this year on Pinky blog what I got in the whole year of 2014, which is interesting because this blog has actually slowed down quite a bit. Lexxperience blog is about to catch up to and pass last year already and I've barely posted. Everything else is declining, which is logical since the other blogs are just sitting there.

I've been talking with Myke about Lexx on SyfyDesigns, about how the forums out there are kind of going down as people go MIA for whatever reasons, and how maybe it's time to step up and offer another forum on neutral turf (Myke has never been part of any of the older fandom forums and doesn't have a clue about how political the fandom history got). Right now SyfyDesigns is still in a pre-something stage and fairly locked down, contributors must contact Myke personally for registration, which means bots don't get into the forum. I've felt almost headlocked over the way I'm watching what's left of the public fandom on U.S. and Canadian soil kind of wind down to nothing, like an old clock, and I think it has everything to do with all of us getting older and money getting a little tighter. Anyway, Myke has graciously created a separate forum space for Lexx, and I'm going to see what I can do with it over this year. I'd love to get a few fans in there with me, but it would all be public and Lexx fans are generally super skittish.

Ok, that was a big thing. I just wrote out a proposal and posted it all over the place. It's funny how I can get something big done and whipped out and still feel brainless and like I'm faceflopping all over my day.

I always still pause wherever I'm working to watch the first blush of morning
that will always be magical for me

I've still been thinking about the dysphoria thing. Dysphoria can be any self image distortion, doesn't have to be gender, like skinny people actually thinking they're fat, or really pretty people feeling ugly, or someone (either sex) losing hair (I've been through that), or people who've been through body and face changing accidents or illnesses coping through the dysphoria of looking completely different now. It's a thing with chickens, too, they're very self aware. If you have an evil hen that won't stop beating other chickens up, you can sometimes curb that behavior by marking a wild discolored spot somewhere (nontoxic, because preening). I've seen chickens go through status changes during molting, so it's not just a human thing to be aware of how we look, and whether we are confident or not in how we look on top of the awareness.

But you all know how I feel about confidence.

For instance, I wasn't confident when I posted that proposal in other people's facebook groups or a picture of myself in a Lexx t-shirt on twitter and facebook, but I'm so used to the idea now that haters dis me anyway that it's less and less of a bump in my road now. I really haven't had to deal with much in the way of haters last few years anyway, but I'm not out there trying to start trubbas, either. Some people might think that proposal is very arrogant of me and none of my business, others might think yay, the ones who really need to see it might not even see it at all, in which case it'll fall flat.

I know, kinda blathering away the morning. Steamed up 10 pounds of pork ribs yesterday (Ruby Tuesday secret- super slow steam rib racks tightly sealed in a low heat oven with an inch of water), sauce it up, throw back in the oven on 'warm' for an hour, delightfully tender and the bones slip right out. I'm sure we'll be sick of ribs by the time weekend is over.

Me the rest of my life. This is how my head works when I think of all the things I still want to do.

Magrathrea

Hanging out with the locals, yapping about the weather, ordering hamburgers. Cool, huh?

Or NOT.

If you've never been on minecraft, villagers have a unique language no one else can understand that sounds like "huh, huh", and they get really excited when humans come around, and especially if they hear doors and especially if they can open and close their own doors. They love doors. Holding these guys right next to my bedroom gets a little weird, it's like listening to an orgy, and they don't. shtap. Giving them a blocked door to play with was probably a little cruel, but it sounded like they really got off on it.

This is my pad on the other side of that wall. (That's a Sherlock poster.) The innocence is gone.

But it's cool, because Kai has even bigger plans. We are reviving a pillaged village and saving the villager race. They finally got relocated this weekend. No, this isn't the village, just one of our houses.

Minecraft is like Magrathea (Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy) (edit: sorry, misspelled the title up there), with endless world possibilities. I grew up in the desert southwest and get a kick out of the deserts on minecraft, so Kai let me know there really is a mesa world out there.

Cool, huh? So I tucked that into my singleplayer and go visit once in awhile. I hop liberally in and out of creative mode like I'm a rich sob on vaca, and I grabbed pale blue diamond armor so I'd look like a turquoise kachina.

This is the arm/hand therapy I'm doing, short and interesting read- Hand Therapy and Soft Tissue Treatment. I'm sure you guys are tired of me mentioning my arms and hands. -My Timelord Name- I'll never forget the spaghetti sauce incident.

In spite of that and the minecraft, many things still got done yesterday. The spring cleaning bug has been biting me pretty hard (and Easter coming this next weekend), and you know what that means, right? Deep cleaned bathrooms, all the rugs are washed, laundry is already caught up, and today the beds get stripped and curtains come down, along with (hopefully, while I have @bonenado here with me today) all the floors getting done. I'm not sure if I can handle the steam mop, but I'm going to try. Might hafta wear the wrist splints doing it. Scott does the vacuuming, though.

Oh, yeah, this happened. That's right, Lexx is being re-released, yay! Funny fan comments about the artwork here. It's all wrong, but since when HAS Lexx been properly merched? I'm laughing. It's a precious part of it's wacky history. Clicking on the poster goes to more info for official announcement and purchasing.

These vids are for whoever keeps coming in on "drugs and porn and whores" search and staying, which I can see because GWT (this blog is a verified site, guys) and stats. You're awesome, and I know you need deeper things in your life to fill that void in your soul. You're welcome.








Now go have a good day.

woke up to hater porn, how is your Monday?

click for Angry Gamer Cat memes

First ban on my Lexxperience FB page this morning, idiot with a header full of pigs in bonnets and a feed full of really bad Muslim sex cartoons. Not tolerating crap, people. Added a 'review posts' setting so my page won't get spammed. In case some of you Lexx fans don't know, I've been deleting and banning determined haters for YEARS. One year in my Xanga past, someone created multiple accounts over and over and over just to keep pasting very lengthy diatribes about how I was going to hell (pick a religion and insert here, I've heard it ALL), and I just don't think it's cute when a brand new facebook account with a suspiciously familiar name (recent 'friend'?) starts following my cool stuff out of the blue to start religious and political wars. I did my best not to let stuff get ugly on twitter, but dayam if that crap starts on facebook. I have no problemo reporting haters.

Back to Pinky stuff. Been thinking for a couple of weeks about writing up a new syllabus. My old one is outdated. My pattern has changed. We're not having regular weekly Bunny visits like we used to now that she's getting older (I'm sure that'll pick back up a bit this summer), and I'm also running out the door lots more this month taking care of my own stuff.

It'll hafta start from the ground up with a whole new Plan again, plus resetting my short term and long term goals before I can put a work schedule back into place. Lately, all my writing work has been spontaneous and haphazard. I miss my daily discipline that I had in place like clockwork for several years. My output isn't as driven as it used to be. 4 a.m. minecraft is taking place over early morning writing, which might actually be a good thing on days I have to run out the door. Maybe I'll get back to less wordy on Pinky and more wordy on my writing projects. At any rate, braincation needs to be over now.

All this month I'll be running out the door 3 times a week, mostly mornings, so my morning workout time may need rescheduling. I'm usually doing my workout by 7 or 8 a.m.

In spite of all the extra activity suddenly starting back up, I still seem to be staying caught up with chores around the house, which means my energy level is up and my depression level is still down a bit, yay.

Still on top of bills and billing and scheduling more billing. Usually late winter is all about @bonenado helping me float through financially, but this winter I've juggled ALL THE THINGS and not dropped the ball once. This is probably the first winter that's ever happened, so huge high five and go me on that one. I went mildly glitchy, but I never hit my annual brain fail.

Time to get all over this day.

welcome to the Pinky Zone- Lexxperience

original source is sourced in this tweet link

Ok, that tweet I brought up is nearly at 500 impressions now in only 2 days. Would be fun if the actual post took off like that, but that's ok. The important thing is that Lexx fans are WAKING UP, just in time for the #Lexxversary.

If you are a Lexx fan and just now finding my personal blog, I'll summarize with a power point-
('Points' all come from the LittleLexx forum.)

I'm a real person living real life.

I made some pretty spectacular confessions about all the stuff I was hiding about my life while I was Lexxing back in the old days, starting mostly with last April.

I'm really out here for something else, not Lexx, but Lexx keeps popping back up, and I couldn't figure out why.

I finally figured out why in October.

Making the decision in 2012 to publicly embrace who I am in the Lexx fandom was a huge deal. Making the decision to be honest about my life was even bigger. I'm barely able to stay out here some days, and Pinky blog is a promise I made to myself that I would never disappear again.

I'm a multifandom fan who delights in other fans fandom smashing, crack vidding, and generally obsessing. I invented #SylarKhan, and my Khanlock post is among my top searched on google. I'm #TeamWells (several posts there), a Continuum junkie (I had to really sit on myself to avoid being consumed with it), a Walking Dead live tweet reviewer (also made a blog post), and many other things, including a Star Trek rant that I repented of. My home away from home is Syfydesigns (Pinky blog, Pinky Stuff, among other things). I'm also #aspienado and a spoonie, and my past extends way further back than Lexx.

The Lexx fandom completely turned me around a few years ago, total 180. I won't go into reasons why, but they're not the reasons you think. Most of the really important stuff (to me) wasn't public, but I do make this confession.

My husband has been more 'famous' than me in subtle ways, but since he doesn't do social media, it never went to his head. He's just glad I'm keyboarding as an alternative to being crabby on rougher days.

So, what's the plan? I actually have one, but it has nothing to do with Lexx. Lexx is a hobby for me, something I do on the side. I'm way out of the fandom loop nowadays, but the Lexxversary is coming up, and I think the best way for me to personally enjoy it is just find all the fans I can and share what I find into several streams on facebook and twitter. I'm not a collector (I gave most of my stuff away to other fans years ago), I don't hang out on forums any more, I've lost touch with just about everyone, so the Lexxversary is kind of like a rediscovery for me. What I'm noticing is that there is way more Lexx out there NOW than there used to be. *wow*

I love fans. I say that all the time. You guys save me in the long, dark nights of the soul. The Sherlock fandom broke me open last spring and I finally got my feels figured out (over several months), and all I can say to all of you, and especially one-


lol #SherLexx

Lexxpert on deck

So this happened. I waited until he removed the actor tags to snip this. I'll link it to my Lexxperience group where I shared it.

Now plz to ascuz while I go down a rabbit hole.

I'm still around, just doing stuffs.



:edit: Just wanna leave this here for anyone who thinks I'm overstating my web presence on twitter. This only took 40 minutes. I cannot say enough how important twitter is in the Lexx world fandom, and FANS WANT MORE.

LeXx Is NoT dEaD 

playing with the fandom immortals

I may be getting a custom built Lamborghini for Christmas- MSI GE Series, 12-16 GB DDR3, Intel i7 processor, 256 GB SSD, 1TB HDD, dedicated Nvidia video card... It'll probably be something close to this. Won't be getting it from Best Buy, though.

I neither asked for it nor was expecting it. I think @bonenado just knows I'm doing with lappy what I did with my old phone, running it down until there is just nothing left. This will probably be my MOD for awhile after the holidays. (method of destruction)


I'm also not very adaptable to change and tend to go gloriously down with my ship. This is me and lappy crashing soon irl.


Oh, by the way, I made @bonenado chief admin over my tech staff now. I have staff!!!!

Speaking of adaptable, Ellen Dubin lightly cajoled me for not being all over a Lexx instagram. Ok, I'm sure she had no idea that even pointing something out to aspienado is a full-on challenge. Of course "Lexx" and even "Lexxperience" were taken (THAT is why I didn't go there, I was kinda ticked about that when I found it awhile back) (I take things personally that have nothing to do with me) (that's what evil villains DO), and I had made a lame generic account instead to follow a couple people and then never use again. So ok, dragged my butt back over there, used my NAME, and now I've got an instagram account linked to my Lexxperience facebook page. And I'm following Ellen Dubin on instragram, go do that right now, guys.

I'll be truthful, I find instagram clumsy for the kind of work I do. If I ever wind up on a convention floor again, sure, fine, I'll fill instagram up right and left, but I'm already paying for premium photobucket and self hosting probably over ten thousand pix across the webs by now. I'm not paying for instagram. Well, yet. If I can pay for Jib-Jab, favstar, paper.li, littlelexx.net, statcounter, and several of my own blogs and domains, yeah, I'll probably wind up paying for instagram. But not yet.

By the way, this is not me. Other people use the Lexxperience handle as a monicker. I don't. All my Lexxperience stuff is out in the open and linked and utterly consumed with Lexx. My monickers are Pinky, Janika, and in the past were Bluejacky or Yablo. I don't toy around with my passions and leave them dangling like that person did in that forum.

ONE person caught this retweet and said it looked like fossilized dead Lexx. Brava.

:edit: Some content removed due to conflict of interest. 3-27-16

I realized again last night I really do need a professional handler to help me interface. I think more people realize stuff than I do, takes Pinky Robot so long to process, the real time stuff gets pretty overwhelming. But now I need to gather myself and GET TO WORK! >=l FOCUS!!!

I'm feeling excessively super focused this morning, what can I say. Wait, that vid was NSFW. Hang on. Rats, I'm veering off, little too intense. Gritting my teeth, steeling my will. I've gotta go back to some solid standbys.




Time to rock the world.

and maybe some thangs

Kinda feelin end of the month assessy, so I'm prowling around seeing new referrers and other quantum entanglements that now include dlvr.it and jobxd.com (yeah, no idea what bad craziness that pointer is- a hijack? a very confused entrepreneur?). Just discovered webac.co.

lol, yeah, not really, probably means what my blogger host is worth

My fave keyword search for the month is "real unicorns found alive with wings". Well you found Pinky blog and actually clicked, which I hope was awesome because I link through to sources. I don't just tease, I fulfill. Next fave keyword search is "Bestpix.blogspot.com wallpaper" and you can see Pinky ranks right up there on the first page with all my best pix are taken in bathrooms. The rest of the keyword searches I can see are for Rick and Marty Lagina, and you can get to my Curse of Oak Island posts here. There were 5 pages of "keyword unavailable", meaning nearly all of you finding Pinky blog in search during November were logged into google and therefore proxied beyond my ken. Congratulations on surfing anonymously and leveling up into creepy, lol. I love lurkers. Your business is your business, amIright?

I also discovered that my Pinky's Sox blog is getting popular behind my back. At least 2 referrers have already been shut down. Can't help wondering how pinkypinkyficion (not just removed but blog link forever banned) and glenncrest (still legit) wind up sending people to see my sox, but hey, we all have our thing. Mine is sox. If I were truly inspired to go big, I could probably have turned Pinky's Sox into an all-time porn parody blog by now. Either way, I'm wasted as a cabbie, as Sherlock would say.

Every time I mention Mantrid here on Pinky, my Lexxperience blog jumps. Mantrid, Mantrid, Mantrid. Ok, it's not done yet, but look, the DVDs are out and yes, I'm actually working on it.

I linked this pic to a complete series DVD search if you wanna buy Lexx. You're welcome.
Yes, click the pic.

I keep saying I'm going to stop talking about stats, but I get so many views coming through on posts tagged stats, just wanna hug you guys, whoever you are. You know, virtual hugs. In a Pinky's Sox kind of way. Ok, forget I said that. Don't DM me.

Moving on.

Oh, someone is asking where I got that chicken mug. I found it in Lilly's Floral inside a Pricecutter store, and the bottom of the mug says Maureen Murphy, licensed by Burton & Burton, "Cucina Rooster", and it's copyrighted by Maureen Murphy through Artworks Licensing. Ah-HA! Ok, I found it. I searched "burton and burton mugs cucina rooster", and you can see it's unavailable and out of stock everywhere. Sorry about that. Merry Christmas.

I need to get out my door in a couple hours, time to pull my head outa here and DO STUFF.

pajama politix

Well, I hope the Brunei govt doesn't try to get my Lexxperience blog shut down, because someone over there spent the night scouring every single page. They are now the 2nd topmost visiting country of all time there just within the last week. Kinda makes you wonder if a Muslim country really could force Google to shut down a blogger site in the States over their belief system. I'm sure they're rich enough to try. #womensrights #Lexxperience Yesterday's sfx update

TODAY. Back to physical therapy. This means wearing my pajamas around town, woohoo! I've actually got workout capris, but they're dull and ugly. Dull and ugly clothes are so dull and ugly, aren't they?

ALSO TODAY. Getting behind in house chores because I'm booked up with stuff in town again, and will be through September, so time to revamp my daily plan, find a way to make it work and keep up. This is one of my toughest times of year, because histamine level spikes set off fairly challenging fibro flares, and I've got little knots like marbles all through my legs and torso, and now I hafta do PT workouts on top of it without the luxury of muscle relaxers and pain meds, whee.

And update on Batman is he survived the tonsillectomy, but this pic about killed me.

Don't worry, he's feeling way better already. Got some tylenol, chocolate pudding, juice...

Woke up with this song in my head, so today is pretty good and I might just wear some Halloween sox.

the emotional value of virtual worth- report card time

I had a great day yesterday. I accidentally found out bumping into one of the top 10,000 sites in the world (as reviewed by another one) that, thanks to my blog host remaining so strong in spite of major server moves (according to alexa, according to webstatsdomain), that my fansite is worth nearly $25,000, if one can really estimate dollar worth by the rankings.

I posted a disclaimer.

I came back public just a little over 3 years ago not at all intending to resurrect my Lexx stuff. The only reason I started doing that was because my traffic spiked by hundreds of percents when I mentioned it one day. I decided that if I really do bring it back, I will do it as professionally as possible, with focus and a mission statement, and never delete it again.

One of the challenges of growing and maintaining a fansite is remaining true to the reason one builds it. My goal is across the board fandom support. I have a history, I own who I am, and I have hopefully grown up. Being able to do what one loves is a precious delight, and I love thinking about Lexx.

Because I have affected so many people, I made a decision coming back public to be real. This means learning to balance public and private. I am a real person with a real face and a real life full of stuff. I don't want to use Lexx to get attention for my personal stuff- I don't want to mix the streams. However, it's important sometimes to reach real people. Entertainment has its value, but without all the fans in all the fandoms having real lives, entertainment becomes hollow, shallow. For entertainment to have value, it must touch real people. The more deeply we identify with stories through our emotions, the more meaningful fandoms become.

I started rebuilding while my world was still pretty dark. I am finally in the recovery stages of years-long illness. Three years ago I was just beginning to be able to read and watch television again. I've publicly documented my progress at spaz starting on 3/17/11. One of the reasons I started blogging real stuff is because, after losing a family member in 2004, I realized that was the coolest part of her, seeing into her head online. Historians love finding old journals and diaries, and blogs and facebooks are the nouveau memory catacombs (Lexx fans will appreciate the reference). I'll be honest- the real reason I'm blogging is because so often we're too busy in life to stay in touch with people we love, and it'll all be here if I go poof. I'm such a terrible recluse, I decided I don't want to take it all to the grave with me. At any rate, as I keep working little by little day after day, my health also keeps improving.

My Lexx work, as always, happens on some of my hardest days when I need the most distraction. Sometimes I write, sometimes I code. As it turns out, apparently, some of my work that involved wrangling with ID inserts across the webs verified me as an owner, and sticking with Xanga instead of bailing kept me ranked well, so without having a clue what I was even doing, I seem to have accidentally created a marketable web product. There was a time when I was given a very nice opportunity to move my Lexx into other hosting, and as I came back public I also seriously considered other umbrella options (Nerdist is very popular), but I reasoned that remaining rogue and standing alone (a very Lexxy thing to do) would be my most visible bet, even if I did have to laboriously learn the ever-changing all-new web presence ropes and climb my way back up a mountain, grain by grain. The web world has changed so much since 2006.

I have never monetized my blogs. I avoid dollar signs around my Lexx blogs like the plague. I don't own Lexx, and I think everything I do should be free for fans out of my own pocket. BUT, as it turns out, it was pretty cool to learn that even without monetizing, my original core fansite is worth $24,700. No, I'll never take bids. I just want to make it clear to anyone who ever questions my authenticity or ever makes another attempt to coopt or sabotage that blog (that I've paid dearly for to keep ad-free), I probably have legal claim now. I'm not trying to be abrasive or defensive or arrogant, I'm just saying that I worked very hard for this, I'm trying to do it right and keep everything legal so I can support my fave show, and I really hope the fans understand heart and soul went into it during some black times when I had a very hard time finding anything else to live for, both through physical illness and severe depression. The most valuable lessons came from those who demanded the most from me, and I'll emphatically state in several people's defense right now that if I hadn't learned while I was being kicked down on the floor, I would never have learned go big or go home. Do I love Lexx enough to stand back up? Hell yes I do. This is about Lexx and my love for Lexx now. This is about me growing up.

That snip up there- I feel like I got an A on my report card.

I'm not crazy about getting gooey with my feels, but I really do love fandoms. You guys know I love you, right? You save me. I can't apologize enough to all the people who've suffered my asperger's along the way. Thank you to everyone who has been a part of who I've become.

completely ignorable scattered mess, step over and move on

Amusing myself in between chores. 6:30 a.m. and already dishes and laundry are nearly done, started assembling tonight's hotdish (precooked the rice). Kind of easy when I can't get my brain to crawl out from under my chair and get back into my head. Fans who put things like this together are geniuses.



Actually getting through one of my darker weeks. Really don't like sharing what it's like in my head when I'm like this, but this vid covers it nicely.


Then there's real life stuff. Always fun discovering that the second reroofing job wasn't done properly and how in the world we haven't had entire sheets of shingles slide right off over the last 8 years is amazing, considering the straight line winds and even a microburst that tore parts of the roof off one winter, since roofing nails apparently seem to be missing across great chunks that are finally starting to slip around. No, we're not stressing at all, wettest summer on record....
So, Fourth of July. I'm sure we'll get a few poppers for Bunny. Doubt we grill, we're too tired. Besides, couple of birthdays coming up this month, planning and prep for those will probably include the grill at least once.
I keep reminding myself my parents were slowly losing a 200 acre farm at this age before the final drop off a bankruptcy cliff when the cattle market bottomed out, and our little woes are nothing against the lawyers and banks that got involved with that one. We're still eating well, we have a roof over our heads (insert chuckle here), both vehicles are still running (hope I didn't just jinx myself), and my biggest fear every day is running into a giant spider in the house. So we're good.
Ok, getting the mind off. My brain snuck in unexpectedly while I was distracted with whining. Seriously, guys, I have about fallen over so many times this last month watching my Lexxperience traffic double and triple out of the blue, and now it's just crazy. My top post currently has exactly 300 views on it. I think the blogger widget for all-time and 30-day top posts is broken, because it's not being reflected as a top post in either one. Might just take those widgets off. Anyway, now I have super guilt for letting that blog sit so long without updating, so bat outa hell time. *writewritewrite* I threw this snip into photobucket, click it if you think you absolutely hafta see it bigger. Have a feeling Giggy will give Thodin a run for his money.

Also just found out this week that Ellen is going to SDCC, too, so that's Lexxciting.

And I really hafta share this one, thanx to TScott on FB, really made my night last night. What I wanna know is how the heck this chick suddenly got verified, and as whom, actually. Do the twitter gods think she's the real Sarah Connor because the flurry of response? I'm verified all over G+, wordpress, and pinterest, and I can't get verified on twitter actually following directions.

I'm getting very rambly. Time to focus. Got some writing to do. I hope whoever made this one is unrequited, because that's just a little disturbing, but then, so is what I'm writing. 


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Adding this as an afterthought, don't click the snip if you don't want your day ruined. People who've lurked me since the Bluejacky days will recognize this interest. Want a password? ~ask me privately~ (EDIT: I took the password off. Someone's gotta be brave enough to say stuff, and I wanna stay true to lurkers. There's a reason people lurk. I understand both sides.)

I don't play head games. I know some of you watch me on twitter and wonder what the hell I'm doing. Others of you wonder why I'm cool with lurkers that never comment.
God bless America. Yes, I'm in a bad mood. I need a better vid. Someone hug me.



EDIT: By the way, in case people think I make a big deal out of the old days, it's because stuff like this happens after I write stuff like this. I've been watching this go on for years. Since there's no sign whatever of spam being blocked, I can only imagine a bot was put on to hack my password. I really don't know. Maybe it's what's on the front page, I dunno. Bluejacky was the stalkiest blog I ever made. The book is really coming. Whoever's getting spooked, calm down. I'm not out for that kind of blood.