-Mobile continuation from Xanga blog PinkyGuerrero
-Most of the graphics and vids click to sources.
-Personal blog for Janika Banks.
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Saturday, September 26, 2015

spoonie monster holiday mode

Today is recovery. Long week on pred (today is the last day), long day out yesterday (8 hours) avoiding the roofing noise. Started my morning trying to remember what I was going to do, and was like Oh, yeah, ~make coffee~. Cycled through that several times before coffee actually got made.

Stuff. Gonna meander through my day between keyboard and going back to bed. I feel like I'm in shock. Mostly just spoonie fatigue.

Scott got his flu shot while we were out yesterday. I hafta wait 9 more days till I see my dr because it'll be paid for, so I'm laying low and staying healthy till then. Loving these little pet skeletons from Walgreens, especially the cat. I'm not seeing them for online purchase, might be in store only.

Same item someone else demonstrates on youtube.

Wound up at Bass Pro for deer season prep, ran into this coolness. End of the Trail.

Got a text from Batman. Action figure artist at work.

We ran around doing errands most of the day so we wouldn't have to listen to the roofing noise, got home around 4ish, around dusk they packed up, plowed out our mailbox (sheered a 4x4 post set in cement right off), reinstalled it sufficiently (they seemed practiced with mailboxes), and took off. Now we're waiting on guttering. I got a picture of the quiet after they left.

@bonenado noticed they forgot their toilet paper.... +_+ *ew* I don't wanna know.

I guess I have a robe thing. I really like this one, too, worn by Wally the Caretaker in the new Minority Report series. I loved the show, loads of awesome very believable futuristic CGI, a lot of attention to detail in editing.

I'm in holiday mode. Just one big long smashy season now.

I think what strikes me most about this vid is how completely emotionless I feel listening to it. The song sounds angry or upsetting, but I think the reality is that there is a coldness behind all that, a place inside untouched by the wounding or rage. Eye of the storm, perhaps, simply observing. I've gone through so many awful things alienated from my own feelings that this piecing my own puzzle back together for Existential Aspie has been soul drenching. I confessed to my psychologist for the first time out loud to anyone EVER that I'm missing the end of fifth grade, and maybe several other childhood memories, which is a sickening realization for someone with a bit of an eidetic memory. I know exactly what kicked me out of my own head, those memories are permanently etched in lead crystal, so whoever I was finishing the fifth grade evidently didn't have to deal with it. It's taken me a long time to realize how experienced I am at breaking myself into pieces cutting feelings off, and that merging back over the years has been part of the confusion. I have very recently realized one of my experiences is an actual double memory, and I can't tell which one is right except to logically say that one of the memories shouldn't contain information I apparently am aware of if it never happened. This really has been the most interesting year. I'm too tired to feel theatrical so I'm sitting here staring like a rock, feeling kind of numby weird about the whole thing.

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