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Friday, May 29, 2015

I follow all the rulz

Last night's dream was stupid, awful, ridiculous, and unbelievably disgusting, and yet I wake up in this fantastic mood.


Ok, that was interesting. OUT magazine just popped open a full page and said hello, like we're pals or something. I think bots are watching me type out my blog. I'm not surprised, but maybe I should be more specific so a bot will jump into my screen with something a little more awesome. Speaking of awesome, THIS happened yesterday. It's 30 minutes long but safe for work, happy Friday.


Ok, where was I? I've been meaning to mention the 50+ cave crickets @bonenado has trapped on tape in the basement just in the last month. Just about the time I nearly recanted the giant-spider-lurking-in-the-basement ban, I ran face to face (seriously, eye level) into the granpappy of all brown recluses sitting on the washcloth pile in the linen closet like he was set up for a meeting and I was late. Of course, Scott sprang into action racing up the stairs to get the vacuum hose leaving me to hold a silver dollar sized highly poisonous spider locked in place with a stare down. Anyhoo, I have a very conditional recant now- one giant wolf spider is allowed to lurk in the basement IF we never see it and IF it never comes upstairs and ONLY IF it keeps the rest of the bug and spider population near to zero. Wouldn't it be cool if we could domestically train a giant house spider like that instead of using pesticides? I'm feeling a bit light headed just typing out the words 'giant spider' over and over, so quick, let us change the subject.

~~~searching internet~~~

Apparently no one has ever put Benedict into a glitter graphic. You guys are letting me down in the need-distraction-NOW department. Wo, hold. the. phone. I have found Ben blingee swag. Get a little trash glam going here, if this eye splat won't take my mind off a spider, nothing will.


Anyone else notice my depression plunge was timed with the Houston flooding? We've all touched base now, my people are good, I'm bouncing around the house again. Makes you wonder how families handled getting once a year letters from pioneers. Of course, they didn't have a weather channel hammering them with helicopter views of everything inside a beltway under water. This isn't my first long distance holding-my-breath experience watching my baby live through top 5 disasters. Her wedding on the beach was literally destroyed by one of the biggest hurricanes ever to hit land there. Then the first text after 2 days of silence is always about a wasp or something, so imagine me insanely giggling like a left behind mama finally getting a letter from a pioneer kid after rumors of apocalyptic death and disaster. My dark urges to kill and maim have melted away and the world looks sweet again.

p.s. The mistake was PINK in case you haven't seen the show
No, I'm not telling you last night's dream. But it was very weird. It was like the world was becoming synchronized and everyone was being channeled into their favorite drugs and religions and then grouped up for strange mental exercises that broke down their safety barriers (killed the red flags and warning whistles going off in their heads) until everyone was happily wasted and cooperating like drones doing things they'd have resisted doing otherwise. In my dream I had figured it out and managed to evade most of the mind numbing by weaving my way through the groups, but eventually it all caught up with me, someone managed to get me drugged, and I eventually caved to being initiated into a group. I wasn't at all pleased, but what could I do? The only way out was rebelling and being relocated by the overseers, which I already knew meant disappearing and being killed. The groups weren't told that, they thought the people who left just went to other groups. But once initiated, I discovered I could come and go more freely in different ways without suspicion, so I played along and kept weaving in and out of the other groups watching what was really going on.

I talked to my dad the other day. It's all real. Kinda making me wonder if the genetic aspie thing on my dad's side was part of an engineering tool, because some really brilliant people come out of Amish & Mennonite communities. Funny that a little boy growing up in the middle of a wheat field could know so much about all the stuff that's coming out 70 years later all over the internet.


Oopsie, quick, look over there!



1 comment:

  1. Those of you not paying attention- imagine waking up one day and realizing who you ~really~ are.

    ReplyDelete