-Mobile continuation from Xanga blog PinkyGuerrero
-Most of the graphics and vids click to sources.
-Personal blog for Janika Banks.
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Thursday, May 14, 2015

#TBT while I take a break

This had a pretty awesome convo going (click the pic), some of you are as messed up as me.

I think TScott is the one who named it Nelson Handela, and it has a very neglected twitter account because I'm not very good with parody accounts.

Oh good lord, I just ran into another one of those 'claim your name sites'. Guess I'd better jump on this before someone else claims to be me there. Ug, I hate these things, but they're sucking me in on my vanity. What's really disturbing is that the current header pic they're using is an actual background on my Torch browser, not something I've ever uploaded onto the internet. I'm telling you guys, it won't be long now until bots become us. Ok, now it's mine and set to private. It's like a klout/sumall mashup.

By the way, at this moment I'm just 27 hits shy of 3000 hits from real people hitting this blog over the last 30 days, which has never happened on a personal blog before. Yeah, pinterest averages 5000 a month, twitter analytics says I had over 7600 profile visits in the last 28 days, klout says I'm holding steady over 60, I don't even know what all this means any more. It's like baseball stats, what does it mean. I remember when 10 hits a day was awesome. I almost feel lost.

I'll tell you one thing, I have a blogging addiction that runs frickin deep, but at least I got some real work done first today (in fact, wrote part of it in the middle of the night, started that in April, actually, wake up and work for a couple of hours and go back to bed). (You guys whining about losing great ideas in the middle of the night because it's too hard to get up and write a sentence down are wimps.) I'm going to try to keep it like that, work first. I used to use blogging to keep me in the habit of putting words together, to create a daily discipline, especially when it was hard just making a few paragraphs and I'd skip that and just put pix up, but now... techmeth. "Some people put quality time into gaming. I’m pretty jealous of them. I’ve tried several kinds of games to pass the long sleepless hours, usually a terrible mistake. Being an obsessive aspie with natural inclinations to addiction, I disappear for days and resurface all wobbly and shaky and disoriented to time and place. The disorientation happens all the time anyway, constantly getting my days mixed up and getting lost in Walmarts, but gaming is like techmeth and turns my brain inside out until I don’t exist in this dimension anymore. I was the first (and only so far :edit: 2013) person to hashtag techmeth in English on twitter."

My head is still spinning. I went places today I've never gone before. You guys think I'm brave, you should see me pacing the floor, sweating, having panic attacks, running off to brush my teeth to distract myself, frozen up over a near Freddy style slasher delete, freaking out when I actually do, rewriting like an obsessed maniac, growling at my computer, throwing pens, going on wild hunts for where I put my chocolate chips, discovering ice cold mugs of super strong hot tea still steeping in the microwave, realizing 3 hours have passed and Scott will be home soon and I never even ate lunch. I have never felt so wonderfully mental as I have over the last seven weeks. I can't even blame brain glitches any more, I seem to have worked past that and healed some more or something. I come up for air around 6 p.m. just exhausted, and then start all over again at 2 a.m.

If you don't see me on twitter, I'm probably spaced out over a cat riding a roomba. Or something.

Break's over. Here is a teaser from today's writing. "Rescue isn’t hoped for in a world where being terrible to each other is a way of life."

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