they still haven't realized I'm actually at home

I love this guy
click the pic for a good song

Day 5. Still hiding out from the Jehovah Witness. Curtains drawn, lights off, stealth chores going on. Outside is snow and nasty cold. Weather hasn't deterred them in the past.

I made the mistake of inviting them back when they showed up in my driveway right behind me last week. I was actually glad to see real people that day because my depression was so bad, but politely declined assistance getting my shopping in. We talked for awhile, and I was fine with it and even said we could talk again sometime. When they jumped on what day next week would be good, I auto deflected with we don't have a set schedule around here.

I don't invite people into my house. This is my sanctuary, my escape, my cave. This isn't a hang out for people outside my family. I grew up with my dad pulling people into the house to 'talk bible' and it would last for hours, and he even had me cooking meals so he could keep them there. He loves talking bible, and can out talk anyone, yes, including Jehovah Witness. I know for a fact that they eventually realize they are trapped and work on ways to escape.

I am like my dad. I am saving them from exhaustive entrapment. I am saving us all from a not so cute cat and mouse head game. I am like my dad. I like to win...

pic clicks to wiki page
make of it what you will
the USS Illuminati (NCC-60309) in ST Expanded Universe is a little over the top, I think
all the good stuff is in the interactive gaming
the rest flies under audience radar

So the stuff I brought up in the last post, right. It hit me later, I remembered having seen someone on facebook freaking out about finding out their kid's photo was being sold on the internet for a weirdly high price and they couldn't figure out why in the world, right. Well... maybe the cloning is a real thing. Maybe human trafficking isn't against the law when you use tissue samples from birthing and whatever (*cough*abortions*cough*) to clone cute little kiddies and people can pick them out of catalogs. Just saying. None of that is new. This is old stuff. You guys only know about it accidentally because of social media shares and internet surfs.

Those of us on the topside still have some semblance of human rights. I'm about to tell you exactly what I think since I've been so cryptic all through Pinky blog. Well, it still looks cryptic, but this is how it boils down.

Whatever comes, two things.

• Your mind in the moment is yours. Even if you are brainwashed, there are times you are a lucid self, and that person is who owns those moments. No one else owns your love and kindness. You create that, in any situation. No one is ever brain broken and retrained to be sweet and kind. If you want to own yourself, be sweet and kind in your lucid 'now' moments.
• We are all slaves. We always have been. We are continually used like noobs and taken advantage of with the whole freedom idea, and human dignity is a gift we give each other daily, not something someone owes us. We are the ones who give each other dignity.

Nothing else in this world holds any promises. Pinky blog assumes we are all already screwed. I am teaching you how to go forward and survive.

You don't have to believe in whatever god people hold over you or that extraterrestrials exist or that governments actually don't care about people as much as they do infrastructure, and you certainly don't have to believe me hinting at anything, but somewhere in your mind, heart, and soul there is a real person, and you easily forget to notice that we are all real people caught in a big mess. Where did the mess start? That's debatable. Did someone engineer this mess? That's food for thought. Is this mess necessary? From certain points of view, it might be. But underneath all that mess is you are real. Whether a genuine God is real is between you and God and no one else's place to manipulate you with. Some people do care, but don't realize they themselves come from a very brain trained institutionalized process that uses God to create and enhance emotional dysfunction and pressured compliance. That is not a loving God. Learn to tell the difference.

Never forget that you are real. Even if everything falls apart, or if your world is already broken, you are real. YOU are what is important. Your moments. The gifts you quietly give others. You own that.

Pinky Plisskin

If I had more money I'd totally be buying zombie Mother's Day cards. Yes, they are out there. Click this next pic.

There are also scifi mother's day cards. These are fun to get lost in. That clicks out, too.

In the meantime, I'm still being stalked by Jehovah Witness.
Jehovah’s Witnesses’ Shocking Cultic Practices You Didn’t Know About
Jehovah's Witnesses- StalkerBeware.com
Secrets of the Watchtower

Nah, I don't really have an eye patch. That would be pretty cool, tho.

Clausal Reality

This is how tired we are. Scott and I were flying around grabbing last minute items Saturday, opened the Christmas card sack yesterday and both went "Where did this one come from?"

It's very pretty, but would be terribly gauche to actually use it. We can't send it to Scott's Jehovah Witness dad (doesn't believe in celebrating holidays) or my dad (my mom died 5 years ago) or Scott's mom (super awkward elevating step dad like that over Mom). I said we could address it anonymously and throw a dart at the address book as a gag, but so many hilarious spin off scenarios going horribly wrong had us doubled over laughing ourselves silly and pre-regretting rippling holiday family ponds to the point of possible nuclear bombs going off.

I vote we send it to a complete stranger, don't put a return address, and sign it only with a first name. A mystery! It could be the conversation highlight of someone's day, who knows.

This got a little bizarre before we figured it out. Click it for the full monty.

I truly do not think before I head out the door. I hadn't worn that shirt in awhile and forgot I had it on when we spontaneously jumped into the car. Scott is so used to me he doesn't even notice any more.

Last week till burrito! We get her next Monday. My goal is to have all the shopping and wrapping and cleaning and menu planning and mailing DONE before next Monday, because we'll probably be running around town with her in between remaining on full alert the whole time she's here. And then mama comes Christmas Eve and they spend the night, so I hope they let Santa know they'll be here or it will be a sad Christmas.

I grew up with a dad like this. Seriously. He resisted Christmas with all his might for many years.

I've been zooming around doing stuff since 4 a.m. It's time to blast some new motivation into my brain. Yes, I'm totally serious. If you guys saw my actual real collection of 70s and 80s TV show theme songs you'd fall over. Theme songs are awesome. 

(Skip a bazillion youtube intros I just went through.) Time to get on with the rest of my day. Whatever happens out there, make it cool.