Playing with my pov on moc yesterday. The chat is hilarious.
"Wow, that was drastic." My reaction about 20 minutes into switching back to my old beta blocker yesterday morning. The closest I can come to describing how I felt on the cartia all day long for 3 weeks was like my heart was in jail and couldn't move the way it wanted to. It felt restricted, and I could feel it straining against the tethers trying to do what it thought it was supposed to do. It was unpleasant, to put it mildly. It worked super good the first week for blood pressure, but by the end of second week I'd slid into bradycardia, spurts of vasoconstriction (I'm sure my body was trying its hardest to get my blood pressure back up), a constant short of breath feeling, and complete lethargy. Yesterday morning was a very physical relief when that beta blocker hit systems and suddenly jail was gone and I my breathing relaxed. It felt like a big deal, like those shows where everyone in mission control at NASA suddenly relaxes because they finally hear from the astronauts again.
I didn't even think "Maybe I should stay home because I just made a big sweeping change in my body again." No, I went out and voted, and then chugged on up the highway on a heat index day to get some very much needed groceries. Well guess what. I had the total opposite of an anxiety attack. I went pure goofball for about an hour. It wasn't like being high, probably more like, while my body was readjusting all that blood pressure command stuff, possibly being on the verge of fainting. I was an idiot not to have a little power cuff with me to see what was going on, but when I finally reached town, I pulled into the post office, pulled up an analog clock on my phone, and did a minute long heart rate count and got 72, so I knew I'd be ok. I was coming back from bradycardia.
Quick random torture break.
And of course I had an almost immediate need for benadryl because beta blocker bumps histamine levels, but maybe it won't be such a fight now to get that zyrtec doubled again. I had to back off on that this last week, couldn't tell if it was making my med situation worse, but I felt more comfortable backing off. There aren't any drug interaction precautions between either blood pressure pill being taken with zyrtec or neurontin, but there's a moderate warning on zyrtec and neurontin, and with my body fighting the cartia so hard, and the zyrtec/neurontin combo doing the opposite, I think the reason I went from sleeping awesome to not sleeping again is because I was already in bradycardia, there was no way my brain was going to let me add more possible drowsiness, so I went into full alert mode and back to sleeping 6 or less hours a night.
Ok, you people who wonder why you still can't sleep when you're popping tons to stuff to help you sleep- I just demonstrated that your brain will do everything in its power to keep you breathing through the night, and some of us are very sensitive to chemical change in our internal environments forcing our bodies to do stuff, and our brains don't like that. So trying to restrain can actually kick us into high gear. I've been trying to get this through to doctors for years. I have become so med sensitive that even just small doses of anything trying to change something in my body, even for pain relief, can set off system alarms for hours.
One biggie I noticed fairly quickly yesterday was that the continual optic nerve headache I had developed on the cartia melted away through the day. I'm not fighting to use my eyes this morning. Optic nerve headaches usually make doctors think high blood pressure, and my every other day nsaid pill is well known for auras as it raises blood pressure in the brain and around the eyes. Things like prednisone and neurontin on top of that pain med make it worse for me, so this is a long-term thing proactive problem solving thing, planning for pain control maintenance without crossing too many streams if something goes haywire. For the cartia to somehow be lending to optic nerve pain (intuitively it should do the opposite) is important, but some of the side effects include muscle weakness (eye strain isn't mentioned) and possible higher infection risk (which means my autoimmune inflammation level could go berserk), and since I did develop the sore throat listed in common side effects and a spike in my tinnitus, yeah, I can totally see where cartia could be involved with nerve response around my trigeminal neuralgia and guess what I found. omg.
Another break in case you actually clicked and tried to read that stuff.
So, yeah. Don't blow symptoms off. Just because your doctor isn't aware or common literature doesn't mention doesn't mean there isn't a study or research out there somewhere very specifically detailing what is happening in your body when you try a new med out. I know I go deeper into research than a lot of people might be able to go (I have training in medical terminology and nursing and I'm a research bloodhound), but I've found things validating all kinds of problems I've had on meds. I spent ten years on amitriptyline before I finally found research about how it impacts bladder long term. I was going in monthly checking for nonexistent UTIs and my doctor thought I was going hypochondriac and didn't know what to do with me. Many years later, a neurologist wants me back on it to control pain in my spine, and a psychiatrist said no way because it makes bipolar worse. This is why you need to put together a medical team. All the hands need to know what the other hands are doing at all times. People wonder why they're miserable on meds, doctors add more meds, sometimes people find new doctors and fail to tell them everything, they wind up with even more complications, and basically it turns into a game of how long can we keep twisting up this body until it croaks off. And then we blame doctors and pharma when it's really US expecting someone to fix our whining and complaining while we keep destroying ourselves with junk and sitting around too much. The kicker for my doctor is whether a med stops me from being more functional in some way, and not being able to exercise is a definite ohHELLno on his side effect list. I see way too many people in forums complaining that their doctors won't listen and change their meds, well, find your doctor's trigger. Simplify it down to what your doctor wants to see happening with you.
I understand it's a LOT of work to learn how your body works at a cellular level or take a nutrition class or do real meal planning and your own cooking, and it really is hard to get off soda pop and turn your tech off once in awhile (and stop drinking and smoking and whatever), but if you are sliding down this 'aging' thing and wondering by your 30s and 40s why celebrities look so good at 50 and you don't, you need to figure out your priorities and what you want as an older person. Me, I wanna be able to keep dressing myself and driving a car, and don't think you can skid right up to that brink and suddenly save it all at the last minute by changing all your bad habits later. I think I mentioned somewhere the hotel guest that cussed me out for looking younger than her, with a drink in one hand and a cigarette in the other, and she stormed off to sit by the pool. If looking in the mirror depresses you and other people looking healthier pisses you off, do something about it.
We can feel sorry for ourselves, or we can pay attention, but if you're not playing survival mode in this world, you'll get left behind sooner or later. This will always be my M.O.
"I think you're great, just fantastic." Free associating. Rhymes with drastic. I'm still in super focus goofball mode.
Apologies for all that, hope you guys have a good day, and here is a nice brain cleanser. Please notice the currently most powerfully influential people in the world all lined up in a row. (I'm not kidding. Look it up.)
Need. Jam. Stat. Here's to 2015. Waving goodbye to the sadness and angst, although it was enlightening and, once again, life changing. Finally worked through my stuff. In full public view!!! I've come a really long way.
Coffee going in. Bunny countdown on. Wakey wakey, little brain. One more day. Bring it on, 2016.
Braincation is going pretty well, I think. The Sherlock marathon isn't moving along as quickly as I'd hoped because I keep falling asleep, but I'm glad because I'm making up for last week and gearing up for next week. I just had one of the most interactive and wonderful Christmases I've ever had in my adult life (we've been through some really sad and awful Christmases), and all this catching up napping is pretty awesome, too.
I think I've done a New Year's Eve look back through the years, but I don't think I've done New Year's Day.
1/1/2008- I had been through 6 weeks of hellish CMV infection over holidays and didn't know I was on my way further down the black hole, but hey, optimism can't hurt, right?
It's amazing how quickly we adapted to that new 22" monitor and didn't even realize it. We took the Westinghouse back yesterday and have a Samsung on order. In the meantime, going back to this little 17" feels like we're back in the Stone Age. Wild. Here we were fussing about the 22" and we already miss it. But Scott didn't like that brand, either.
I'm feeling pretty optimistic about this new year. I'm drug free again, excepting for the basics-- blood pressure, thyroid, birth control. Feeling not half bad because I'm back in balance controlling the fibromyalgia and stomach problems. Not particularly bouncing around the house, but getting things done and feeling like life might be getting a little more fun again.
Over that last week watched Mr. Bean's Holiday-- sploit, I highly recommend that one.
Oddly, the ol' crochet itch is making a comeback. Wonder if that'll result in anything. And it's a good sign, because I had so much trouble with my hands since the Bell's that I had to stop embroidering, crocheting, beading, and even writing letters. Seems to all be coming back a bit. Hope it lasts.
Also regaining an interest in my websites. Hadn't checked my trackers in months and was pleasantly surprised to see that my Lexx site has been visited from over 15 countries during the holidays. Still having cool ideas about a new chicken blog. Have been doing a little myspace work today on the Eddie Izzard space (thanx for those pjs, sploit, made a cool background... haha) and my other blog, doing some more tossing out and simplifying, so I'll just paste the rest of what I'm thinking over from there.
Hope you all have an outstanding 2008.
Rang out the old year with homemade popcorn balls and POTC monopoly (Scott is a real gloater, watch that guy), and Dick Clark dropping the ball, as it were. Brought in the freezing cold 11 degree wind chill new year with bacon and homemade cinnamon rolls, and cool new stuff. New black toile on pink satin pjs with Eddie Izzard's Dress to Kill dvd tucked inside from my sploit (just about the most clever gift I think I've ever received), a huge new makeup collection for only $15 yesterday on a red tag sale at Penney's with a gift card, and a bunch of really nice winter sox by St. John's Bay for only $1 a pair. Beat that, Walmart. Watching the Tournament of Roses parade now.
:edit: In the event you caught that parade today, it opened with my alma mater, Pride Marching Band - Bands - Missouri State University, which has one of the top bands in the nation and always put on spectacular shows. Today they intro'd the Tournament of Roses president and Grand Marshall Emeril Lagasse. Also in the event that you caught any of the parade reruns on the Travel Channel and happened to see a text 'holla' that said "Scott ur the bomb", that was me, ha.
1/1/2009- I didn't blog anything privately throughout January but I do have extensive notes in February. I was public blogging surveys back then to get through because I'd been so very ill all year and was still sinking. On January 4th I published this one, which I later moved to Surveypalooza for better mobile viewing. from old to new survey I can't say enough for silly surveys keeping me going through some really bad stuff, although that is one of my more boring ones. I started picking up a bit later in 2009 when new Trek sent me through a spectacular rant, and then I disappeared again into private blogging in 2010.
1/1/2010- I actually did this. Seriously. I kept egg charts on my chickens through 2009. That's how desperate I was for distraction in real life.
In 2009, my 5 hens laid a total of 785 eggs.
Jaizzy- 131
Macy- 230
Dooney- 294
Spencer- 99
Bean- 29
Dooney and Macy never went into molt. Spencer and Jaizzy both went through two different molts within the year. Bean went into a partial molt and still hasn't grown some of the feathers back, even after two months.
Jaizzy is several years old and lays gigantic eggs. She's a Production Red cross between New Hampshire and Leghorn who is getting arthritic, but still otherwise very healthy with lush feathers and clean skin. She had Fowl Pox a couple of years ago but didn't seem to suffer any problems from it. She's 'wild' and lives in her own pen, but very set in her habits and now allows Scott to pick her up. She will eat snakes, frogs, and lizards, and can fight like a pro.
Macy is a Black Australorp, a breed famous for being prolific egg layers, solid black from beak to toenail (excepting her comb and wattles). She missed one week of laying this year for unknown reasons, but picked right back up. She's never seemed sick, and she is the top of the pecking order. Her eggs have steadily increased in size until they are nearly as big as Jaizzy's. Very tame, allows petting, walks at my feet, inspects everything we do.
Dooney is a California White, a cross between Leghorn and California Black, bred to be super producers. She is mostly white with a few random black flecks, very energetic, very enthusiastic about food, particular about her nest, and always the first to try to fly out the pen door. She dusts vigorously and will get muddy like a pig trying to dust in wet dirt. In spite of frequently looking very dirty, she lays pretty white eggs, all identical every day right down to the small bulge near the pointy end. She lays through all kinds of weather extremes like a machine.
Spencer is a Brown Leghorn, a fancy breed that looks more like a wild chicken, and certainly acts like one. High strung, preferring natural wild food, obedient to 'herding' only when she feels the need to be part of the group. Panics easily, gets sick easily (seems to be anxiety-induced), but lays *big* pearl colored eggs with very pointy ends and giant yolks inside. If she didn't have a henhouse, she would roost in the trees, and if we had a rooster she'd probably go broody and hatch chicks out in the woods. She can fly 100 feet, and bursts into flight like a cross between quail and pheasants.
Bean is an anomaly. She is a Speckled Sussex, a quiet breed supposed to be a steady layer and good for brooding and hatching chicks, but 'twas not to be with the Bean. I believe she suffered an internal injury or illness of some kind that destroyed her ovaries. She laid very tough shelled small eggs for one month before suddenly expelling a mass of crumbly stones, and has never laid again since, and doesn't seem inclined to start back up or even care to sit on a nest. I can't tell if she's ill, seems fine and eats good. She keeps up ok with the others, but definitely low Bean on the totem pole. Just keeping her around as a pet, see what happens with her.
I'm not going to average how many eggs per month or week comes from 785 since each chicken is so different, and some of them have problems. I assume the egg production for Jaizzy will continue to go down a little over the next year, and that Bean will never lay again. Have no idea about Spencer or whether the other two will actually go into a molt of some kind or just continue to slow molt a couple of feathers at a time while they continue laying. But, I'm also not going to keep count during 2010 to compare to this year. Got a bit old about 6 months into it, and would probably be more fun if I had a bigger flock of chickens to run stats and charts on for fun. But I think we can see that I had pretty good production out of the ones advertised for that, and without experimentation with more of their own kind and changes in feed and whatnot, I couldn't be sure what affects it. The one thing that happened this year that stopped all laying instantaneously was finding a snake in the nest, but once a fake egg was put in the nest, they mostly resumed back to normal. Other than that, and besides actual molting, I can't point to weather, temperature, free ranging vs. staying in, or any particular foods that make laying better. I can tell the chickens ~feel~ better with more fats, non-grain proteins, and greens in their diet than just chicken feed, and they seem psychologically more 'up' when they can get out and run and scratch a bit. The fact that Jaizzy is still producing as much as she is might be testimony to good health care. Another point worth mentioning is that none of my chickens have ever picked up lice or mites from the wild birds around here. I've never had to treat them for parasites or infections, they've never had shots or antibiotics or medications in their feed. I've lost previous chickens to unknown illness that could only be ovarian tumor or possibly eating something like a carpenter nail. And foxes.
Enough of the chicken and egg report. Probably far too obsessed with it, but at least I've learned a few things.
1/1/2011 "2011 revolutions"
Some changes I'll prolly be making over the coming year, although I hesitate to prioritize them into my life as resolutions.
Unsub from the 'patriotic resistance' league of super heroes who have nothing better to do all day than reprint articles off other websites and freak out about them. Two years of people freaking out across the nation is enough to last me a lifetime. I seem to be the only one who understands the tongue in cheek sarcasm I do about the death of our nation as we know it and the end of the world. It's like the joke on the Futurama 4-parter about the spacetime rip showing up, the people screaming in the streets for two weeks until they're exhausted and can barely breathe out a quiet 'aaahh...'
Start ~really~ throwing stuff away. Had a good talk with Scott today about going through the trash to pull things out that he might be able to get a quarter for at a yard sale, like a half skein of yarn I've had for 20 years. If I haven't used it in 20 years, I'll NEVER use it, and anyone else so badly needing to buy it at a yard sale is really pathetic, and Scott would only be enabling them, after holding onto it in the basement for another 5-10 years first, making him even more pathetic than they are. Yeah, throwing stuff away.
On a last year's resolution success note, I have successfully stopped all paid magazine subscriptions from coming through the mail over the last 6 months by refusing to renew anything. What a relief.
Just a quickie coming through, still working on the letter, right around the part about the blue jello.
This came a couple days later. I edited loads of stuff out, but you can probably figure that out.
Such a joy being married into this family. So many good years down the drain. ...
Several errands to run while I'm out. Library, post office, Scott needs 'teeth glue'. Contemplating getting my hair trimmed somewhere other than Walmart. Seriously, I look like a troll doll with short hair on the back of my head. If I greased my hair back I'd look like the Fonz.
Oh, yeah, I forgot I was going to make his family imaginary this year. They don't really exist, it's a figment of my imagination.
Thought I'd take a look back at last year about this time, see what's changed.
1- The little cedar tree behind the deck is gone.
2- Started last year with a ton of snow, nothing this year.
3- I was running sci-fi marathons, this year I'm doing cooking show marathons.
4- I was on antibiotic for swollen glands, and going through that awful neck pain and nasty headaches. This year (so far) is much nicer compared to that.
5- The nurse of the corn made my life a living nightmare, this year I have a new doctor.
6- Went out to eat for new year's, this year nothing.
7- Chickens were laying real good last year at this time, this year nothing at all.
8- Last year a bunch of Florida manatees died of unknown cause, this year Arkansas blackbirds and drumhead fish are dying by the thousands around an area having lots of tiny earthquakes. Maybe a lotta methane and CO2 bubbles are suffocating them or something.
9- --- smashed furniture in gram's house last year, this year he's an angel after punching his mom in the face.
10- Last year we were still breaking ice off the water dishes, this year they're all electric.
11- Last year I could walk out in the bitter cold without having an asthma attack right away. This year I don't go out at all if it's under 30 degrees.
12- --- blew up all over Scott last year. A whole year has gone by and he's still not confronting her, even though we now know the reason last year with her was so bad was because she was boozing on the sly.
13- The neighbor who caught his house on fire down the street across from us is gone now because he died a few months ago.
That was just the first couple of weeks of January last year. I think we've had more change over this last year than nearly all the other years we've lived here.
I'm totally stalling. I need to eat breakfast and wash my hair and get ready to go.
1/1/2012 "the 'stuck in the middle with you' song has been on my mind all day"
I won't share, but we rang in the new year playing board games in an office a young PTSD Iraq vet had moved into because he was terrified to live in his own house for some reason. I just wanna go on public record for being there as a mother-in-law that night when his own mother wasn't. The next few months got pretty rough for him.
1/1/2013 Bunny was in the oven and Twink was moving in and out and Xanga had turned my life upside down... I finally got those new glasses just a few months ago, lol.
I've got to spend January going through the stacks of stuff I cleaned off the table and counter and just dumped into bags. All my medicare stuff, mostly. Nearly have all my old medical paid off now, only $200 left on one bill from 2011. First time in ages. Want to start saving money back for new glasses. Will be 3 years around May. Get organized on where my money will go this coming year so I don't overspend.
12/31/2014 That's today! Pinky blog hits finally ripped passed Pinky Stuff on SyfyDesigns this last fall. I look back on projections I had in 2012 and fall over laughing. I had no idea I would be doing all the stuff I'm doing now.
We have Bunny all day long. I've been up since 5 a.m. and I'll probably be in bed by sundown. I'll probably be back up in the wee hours tomorrow morning, like I was last year. I'm going to call my bluff and raise me double or nothing. Can't wait to see what 2016 is going to bring. Oh, yeah, another full Bunny day on Saturday. You guys won't be seeing me much, lol.
I'm still calling this week a braincation. Sorry social medias, I'm being mowed flat by a 2 1/2 year old. You didn't see me stopping and doing many things in between all the sentences here for the last 4 hours.
This is me and lappy going down together in our final hours together before I pick up the new laptop next week.
Quick look back.
My new obsession taking over my life.
Breaking open like a pinata last spring.
This #bencongruity kept me sane.
Khanlock drove me through the summer.
What the frak, tossed sanity to the wind over the holidays.
And I'm going out with this playlist jam. I hope you guys have awesome 2016s. Don't be stupid tonight partying, ok?
I never had other symptoms beyond intense upper stomach cramping all night before last, thank goodness, so maybe all the probiotics and prebiotics I've been consuming have been actually doing what nutritionists say they do when people come in contact with tummy bugs.
My dad wants me to spread the word about Daystar television, so there you go. He is especially super into this book right now. You guys are so lucky he's not stalking all my friends on twitter and facebook, but his penchant for handing out free stuff to people he worries about usually makes it weirdly ok.
I grew up with everything you ever heard and even more that you haven't about prophecy, numerology, and the gamut of anything weird and scary like UFO's, giants, angels running the governments, and, oddly enough, everything that's wrong with the medical and psychological sciences because they're out to brainwash you. I guess that's one way of looking at it, but I just shoot right back at him that EVERYONE is out to get my money, including Daystar, and then he shoots back how else would they spread the truth, and I cut in with I hope you aren't planting tomatoes yet since the weather is so nice (a joke between us, one year he planted 5 times before winter was done, but I've since discovered that a lot of people around here do that because Missouri is a real trickster), and he lets me know he's digging holes every single day getting ready for another hundred pine trees because the wildlife ate all the seedlings last year, which I point out is awfully nice of him considering how nutritious pine seedlings are, and I sit back and enjoy listening to him talk about critters he sees and who he talked to (argued with, explained something to, imposed upon) at Walmart or McDonald's.
My psychologist would be thrilled I've made it to this point. Especially with a stomach bug.
OH. Wow, this is so cool I hafta share right now. I'm reading (sorry, Dad) The ESP Enigma: The Scientific Case for Psychic Phenomena by Diane Hennacy Powell, M.D., a *scientist* AND fellow aspie, and I'm super thrilled because my brain has been so weird growing up and she keeps hitting nails I've been thinking about for decades with my brain /robot obsession.
She goes indepth about how brains work, which areas do what, and it's really up to date with all the latest. One thing I've said for years is I can't handle talking on a phone. I have been blaming it on a lag in auditory processing in my aspie brain (which is true, I have a 'real time' issue in social interaction), but she was explaining right and left brain cultures based on how we use symbology in language and wrote "Some evidence for this theory comes from a study that showed that literate Greeks use the right ear and activate the left brain when listening to words. In contrast, illiterate Greeks use their left ear and activate their right brain more when listening to words." I've also run into other studies that show people are more creative (right brain) before they learn reading and spelling (left brain), which shifts dominance, which would indicate that people who aren't very good with grammar and spelling rules tend to be more artistic or creative. I personally suck at art in ways you guys can't even imagine, but I'm like a walking thesaurus, complete with language history over hundreds of years, so I'm super left brain.
Which apparently is at the root of my conundrum when I talk on the phone, so when I ran into that quote, I was elated that there is more evidence for why I'm so weird. I need to use my left ear for some reason, I prefer it even though it is confirmed a little deaf to higher tones and makes consonants disappear like crazy in my lagging auditory processing. When I switch to my right ear, (which actually tests out as hearing better) I can barely follow conversations at all. You'd think it would be the other way around if I'm right brain deficit and super left brain (aspie)- my right ear would be better for left brain language function. But my social function is what I need when I talk on the phone, and that social function is exactly what gets in the way for me with language, like my right and left brain can't seem to integrate the spoken word in real time convos very well because so much interaction for me is 'junk' that I don't do very well (I'd rather plug straight into the info I need, like R2D2).
Even when I use speaker phone so both ears hear everything I can suddenly become very lost and need to reiterate everything very slowly from the start, as if my brain dropped a pile of notes and has to sort them out one by one as it picks them back up, which I know is maddening for the person on the other end of the line, especially if we are trying to get some paperwork done. If I have to stop for them to explain stuff to me that they were trained to say but has nothing to do with the convo continuum, they may as well just explode the phones, because we aren't going anywhere for awhile. People hate me by the time we're done discussing forms of any kind because they can't conceive that they are the ones throwing me off track so badly (especially when I need what I feel is vague to be more defined). I actually have to interrupt them and tell them to stop talking because I have a cognitive deficit and I need them to go slow, and that just pisses people off right and left for some reason. If it gets bad enough I'll ask for managers, but I never complain about the people talking to me, I just start all over again until they hate me, too. By the time we're done, it's usually pretty obvious that 1- I know their companies and merchandise and fine print better than they do since they only know their phone bank material, and 2- I can use way fewer words with way more meaning that cuts right to the gist of everything we're talking about because I'm apparently not the one who is a robot, they are, and they can't wait till their shift is over so they can drink themselves senseless.
Why can't other people condense spoken language down to direct info sharing? On the other hand, other people would rather take shortcuts blogging about it, so I guess we're even. Well, except they might go on and on more hatefully about how their day sucked from my phone call.
Fortunately, it doesn't bother me that people hate me. My right brain emotional reactions sometimes take several days to catch up, and I rarely take them seriously, which is probably a good thing because I can metaphorically scorch a monitor like people burn paper, you stumble back clutching your face going "My eyes! My eyes!" while I mwahaha about your brain being scarred for life from my word construction. So yeah, it's a good thing I don't usually have right brain interaction on the phone. By the way, I don't think winning a monitor searing contest is a good thing, those of you out there who actually read the forum interaction that day. I am drawn to mock like I'm on the Satellite O' Love, but I've been practicing my self control skillz and I don't do that any more. That number may not look impressive as a snip, but it was a day the world stopped, a day no one talks about, a day erased from history.
Anyway, that quote was exciting to read yesterday. No wonder I keep trying so hard to use my left ear, almost like I'm trying to push the phone through my ear into my brain. My right brain is the talker, my left brain has the dictionary (to put it simply), and I've apparently developed a system of going in circles between the two in order to talk out loud to people.
A doctor mocked my mom years ago thinking I might be a little autistic, and back then being verbal meant I wasn't because there was no such thing as a little. Yes, I could say "hello" and "no" and "I want", but apparently the doctor couldn't see the disgust in my eyes when I looked back at him, little realizing how much I already understood at that tiny age, I still remember the whole event and how he treated my mom, even though I was only three.
So. Here we are. What a yappy person I am this morning. Feeling better, got coffee in me, going to a follow up appointment today after ALL my tests came back great (even the holter), which is something new for me, so that means I'm doing it right. I'm aspie and I'M DOING IT RIGHT. No one else 'saved' me. No one else 'fixed' me. I'm solving my own problems after years of people all around me telling me how to do everything.
All our aspie brains are getting together now on the internet. I hope you guys are ready for us to make the world a better place, because every aspie I run into seems to have the goal in mind. Truth, peace, beauty, love. Whoever wants to cure us needs to step back and ask what kind of revolution they're stopping if they do. Some of us are finding our ways out past our barriers, we're figuring stuff out, and now you know why every Walgreens in America looks the same. Ease, familiarity, and dependability go a long way with sales. Demand excellence, because we want to give it to you.
I'm laughing. You can't see me being silly in my brain.
Egads, look at the time, better run out the door. Someone needs to make me a really cute Snake Plissken vid with dance music or something, just for kicks. I mean, if you're bored and need something to do. My birthday is in October. Surprise me.
I find myself deep in Plissken meme territory at 5:15 a.m. while the skies debate whether torrential or icy is better this time of year. I made this one.
So far no ice, might get a little snow mix tonight, might be icy tomorrow, but all indication at this point is that I'll probably still wake up to hot coffee. By then I hope I know what day I'm in. This is my third Saturday in a row because Scott's been off work since he pulled in on New Year's Eve. Nothing like starting a year off with 3 Saturdays in a row.
That's it, brain's gone. I can't seem to move very well, either, so see ya.
