Edward Izzardo, the only man @bonenado has ever been jealous of

Force Majeure

One of the few people on this planet I stop in my tracks for. Passing time while I wait for Bunny to wake up and maybe go bring her to my house while mama barfs in peace. #norovirus

I am the first person on the webs to use the phrase 'scifi mirepoix'

Ah, that silly internet. I finally go check my email and wind up wondering what in the world could have possibly connected that page to my last year's Shorty Award nomination enough to get a google alert about it. It's a cute table, click this snip and go check it out. No, I'm not getting one. And no, it's not time for shorty awards for bloggers yet. I think there is an artificial intelligence behind this whole twilighty zone thing and it is taunting me. Or it could be the virus. I never did get a fever yet.

Been a slow day, never did go defcon 1 but I was wobbly and queasy enough to go back to bed most of the day. I tried getting up a couple of times because the dreams were too weird, finally wobbled up around 3 and started bumping into things around my kitchen and on the interwebs, and about the time I started feeling guilty for wasting a day NOT WORKING (seriously, I admonished myself and then argued back that I don't have to feel guilty for one little sick day, and look at me, here I am knitting my brain back into one piece anyway), I noticed Gary Graham still hasn't got his blog linked on his dotcom, so now I don't feel like such a slacker.

Dear Sumall- I already beta tested the new configuration stuff last year and I'm too swamped to keep up with learning more new stuffs. Thanx for offering me some more cool free services, but I'm up to my eyeballs in cool free services, so I'm gonna say no this time. I wish you all the best, and maybe I'll use you guys for some real stuff later on if I ever get this book done. Hugs and kisses.

I shouldn't have checked my email while I'm sick, felt like getting lost in the forest or something. I still have nightmares about missing college classes and being late to work at Sonic and that was two decades ago, my stress level over making and losing lists of accounts that have yearly fees can't go higher than it already is. I really need to get my mind off, sick days are horrible for sudden realizations that I've lost another list and need to make another new one. o-m-g In my head I'm staggering around wringing my hands, I can't even imagine being calm and sane right now. Fortunately I'm still way too queasy to jump up and start plowing through drawers and piles of papers. How much money is enough to get an assistant? I'm sure I'd have to offer benefits. No wonder chicken ladies go crazy and move into hen houses. Maybe I should've stayed in bed. In another 20 years I'll have nightmares about moving blogs and writing books and suddenly remembering fees are due on accounts I forgot I had. That's actually kind of cracking me up. My head gets extra weird when I have a virus. *oh*mygod do NOT put 'weird head virus' into a search. Just don't. (Well, it is kinda funny that Weird Al wound up in there...) Here, have something much more innocuous.

I'm just gonna say it- Kevin Sorbo has connected with me and Holly on LinkedIn. I'm pretty sure a couple of my connections started with me being a huge fan of my favorite scifi mirepoix of outspoken Hollywood conservatives (Ambassador Soval, Jayne Cobb, and Dylan Hunt), but who knows. It might be as random as that google alert sending me to buy an accent table or Kevin Smith hooking up on myspace. I don't question these things, I just believe in the interconnectedness of all things, like Dirk Gently. I can't believe I still haven't puked yet, maybe I'll get through this without having to. I don't know why I'm still typing.


:edit: 11-12-14
In the event of a real defcon emergency, here is where you check the internet for defcon level. Need more info? Going DEFCON 6: Not What You Think It Means. Here is the DEFCON Reference Chart. I hope y'all understood I was talking about puking. Don't quote me that we're under nuclear attack.

The Puking Dead

I am really good at being puny because I threw up more than any other kid I knew growing up. As soon as the stomach cramping started this morning I started rescheduling my day and rounding up my camping equipment. Phone charger, headphones, extra trash sacks, roll of paper towels & disinfecting spray cleaner, soothing washcloth on the sink, extra pack of toilet paper, couple of Christmas catalogs. Tied my hair back, got burrito's juice out (I'm diabetic so I never keep my own juice or pop on hand). Jar of vaseline... I'm all set.

My bathroom is a little cozier than this. I like cozy. If I had a bathroom this big I'd just move a bed and television in. And maybe the fridge. Click to see more awesome bathrooms.

Burrito and her mama went through this last week, got to hear a little puking on the phone. That's what being connected is all about, right? It's actually sweeping through the whole land, I'm seeing news article links about 2014 norovirus on twitter, and looks like a buncha people are tweeting about the stomach bug. An especially huge deal is being made about Blake Griffin playing through a stomach bug. It's tempting to count the tweets saying "Blake Griffin has a stomach bug" but don't use him as an example to power through it yourself at work because your coworkers won't appreciate it.

Don't forget to replace your fluids as you go so you don't wind up getting a needle in your arm to replace them the hard way. Warm chicken stock, hot jello, juice... More pleasant than needles. Even if you don't feel like it, keep sipping. I've heard bananas, rice, and applesauce help, too, if you are up to nibbling. Click this next pic for great advice.

One thing many people don't realize is that you continue to shed the virus up to 3 days after you stop feeling sick. The CDC recommends that people who have been sick with the stomach bug don't prepare food for other people for a couple of days after you think you're well. Why? Because most of us don't stringently wash our hands. Think about all the places you get food while the stomach bug is sweeping your land. Think of all those people powering through it at work. Think of how many people don't take hand washing seriously. You can wipe your shopping cart handle all you want, but the problem starts with YOU not washing your own hands and then putting your hands to your mouth. Are you a lip picker? Something in your teeth? Eating fast food with your hands? There you go. "We're all infected" - The Puking Dead. (I just made that up.) Click this guy for a cute slideshow.

While you're out running around you might want to pick up a few things to make camping out in your bathroom more enjoyable, because you know it's coming. Very few of us escape. Here you go, have a coupon *click that*. That's an old pic, but keep an eye on it because *winter cold and flu season*, right?

That's enough about throwing up, how about a nice distracting throw down.