-Mobile continuation from Xanga blog PinkyGuerrero
-Most of the graphics and vids click to sources.
-Personal blog for Janika Banks.
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Wednesday, February 18, 2015

call me crazy, but I miss my insomnia

My life used to be more like this.

Every weekday morning I wake up and get a cup of coffee. I don't speak to anyone unless I catch Scott leaving for work in the wee hours long before dawn. I watch the sun rise by myself five days a week. I make my list and pull my head together and start working. I spend hours working without a word out loud to anyone, because no one else is here. I get my lunch and estimate how much time I have left before I crash for the day, estimating when I need to get started on pulling together a nice supper for Scott, and then we watch an hour or two of TV together. From about 5:30 p.m. on I'm not alone any more. I can talk to a real person. And for the last couple of months I've been falling asleep way sooner than I used to, which has been cutting our time together down to a couple of hours.

This last week I've also been sleeping nearly around the clock, something I don't think I've ever done in my life. I've been mystified for decades how people can sleep ten hours at a time or sleep past the sun rising, and here I am, going 11-12 hours and waking up after dawn has started lighting up the world. My psychiatrist warned me about sleeping too much. If I'm still doing this by the time I see him in April, he'll probably try to push me onto meds again. Extra coffee isn't making a dent in me sleeping like a log for the first time in over forty years. They say you can't really catch up on lost sleep, but whatever created my severe insomnia must be all gone now. Finally. I may have to change the theme song at my funeral, I've had this one picked out for years and now it's no good.

Meanwhile. a blanket of snow isn't stopping the juniper and cedar pollen clouding around my house, and I'm as oozy as if I had pink eye. Snow doesn't stop crocuses, and it doesn't stop a forest heavily peppered with evergreens, which researchers claim have a similar allergenicity to ragweed. I wonder what I'd be allergic to by a beach. Probably everything.

Ok, I forgot about this idiot in my stash, thank god something made me crack up. I live for moments like these. You people out there are so awesome, you know that, right?

So a txt file just microflashed & embedded itself into my hard drive. I copied the code and saved it, then trashed it and did a reboot, but it's still in my download history any time I want to get to it. As far as I can tell, it's a 'window raid' that goes to hottubmovie on tumblr, which is probably an illegal form of advertising but someone thinks they're being cute. I doubt most people would even have a clue it even downloaded onto their hard drives, my Kaspersky certainly didn't blink an eye. Here's what it looks like.

Ok, where was I? I dreamed last night I was in a huge awesome house with a gigantic pool and needed to go buy a new phone, so I grabbed my stuff and made it to a mall just before closing. All I wanted was a working phone, was about to buy the cheapest thing they had, but they saw that I had a handful of cards and a wad of cash, so they kept trying to push their coolest phone on me. I'm not a materialistic person, just give me the cute little brightly colored kid phone and I don't care that it can't make my breakfast and send FedEx to Mars. How hard is it to let me buy what I want? I didn't wake up feeling refreshed, even after 11 hours of sleep. I woke up frustrated and feeling like I just left the mall.

Ok, the flash download just happened again, and NOW I can tell it's from the ad for Hot Tub Time Machine 2 that precedes this video. Smooth move, guys. You can see the download file in the lower left of this snip. It happens so fast you barely see a thing going on. I wonder if you see it happen at all if you're not on Chrome. Or maybe it's a google maneuver and Chrome users are being tagged or something. Maybe we'll get popups triggering later that take us to more movie advertising. Or maybe they're just sloppy. Or maybe they're really illegally invading my hard drive. Whatever. No, I'm not going to link to the video. It speaks trewth but it shut my brain back down *omg*. If you guys want to further experiment with download intrusion, it's up to you to go find this video right now. You have your mission. Haha, get it? You have your *mission* (statement). Too early for that? You're right, all this snow is frying my brain. #letitgo

I need a handler. I need a team. I need actual real 3D friends. If there weren't snow and Scott didn't have my car I would pack my work and go to the library and sit at one of their big lemon polished tables (and take extra benadryl because that makes me wheezy), surrounded by people quietly doing work, enjoying the coffee shop smell coming from across the big room, laughing inside at the occasional kid screaming. Wondering what it's like to actually talk to someone without it winding up sucking. #aspienado

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