-Mobile continuation from Xanga blog PinkyGuerrero
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-Personal blog for Janika Banks.
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Friday, March 10, 2017


Epic things happened on 11-19-08 and 11-20-08. They burned their way into my brain during an epically tough time, so I'll never forget them. Why are they coming up now? No idea. They just popped into my head.

I'm currently brain grinding through a 3-day Bunnython. That poor kid is so wacked with norovirus, uti, and pink eye (what the heck, let's throw in snotty allergies because tree season is starting early here) that there's just no other way. While I have no brain, I'm doing mundane chores like plowing out a mountain of cobblestone, stripping and tiling over bedrock, harvesting pumpkins and setting up chicken pens, and reorganizing my storage. I'm doing dishes and laundry, too, but that's just real life.

Anyway, I felt curious about what I was up to around that epic time, and of course the only thing public after those events is an old beat up survey, parts of which I'll share because I'm too brain dead to pontificate.

50) If you could go back in time, how far back would you go?
All the way.  All the dang way.

And of course, there were other fans who were utterly swept up the same way I was. They lifted me up in the dark and carried me through the abyss on their wings of imaginations, techabilities, and obsessions.

24) Have you ever had a panic attack?
It lasted about 4 1/2 years.

We still find each other in the deep dark. We follow the light into our glowing monitors and see each others' souls.

16) Did you have a dream last night?
It had me.  They wait for me in the night.  I fear them.  I try to stay awake as long as I can, but they come after me, hunt me down.  They grapple me, taunt me, abuse me against my will.  And they never, ever turn out like I wish they would.

What we find saves us in ways people around us can't even imagine.

12) What TV show could you watch over and over again?
Even I have my limits.  And I think we all know I can far outlast anyone I know in the over and over department.

And we go there. We step over the lines, leap off the cliffs, reach for stars we can barely see, and hope someone out there cares.

10) Do you believe in God?
I think it’s amusing that people feel compelled to announce a *disbelief* in God.  If you have to go out of your way to make sure someone knows you don’t believe in God, it’s quite possible his existence is bugging the crap outa you, and that alone is making him a little too real for you to handle.  If you don’t want God to exist, stop saying his name and fighting against it. I, for one, attempted atheism and failed miserably, because every time I flop on my face I find myself thinking of God and begging and making deals with the guy. If you haven’t faced imminent horrible death, don’t worry, you’ll have your chance to test this.

11) Have you ever thought about converting your religion?
“Pure and undefiled religion before God and the Father is this: to visit orphans and widows in their trouble, and to keep oneself unspotted from the world.” James 1:27

Now that we’ve defined ‘religion’, I see no reason to change it.  Maybe the problem with people changing their religions is that they have no idea what it means in the first place.

*I* care.

6) Can you handle the truth?
People can’t handle me being truthful.  Most people don’t want the real truth.  Most people want to find out they were Egyptian or famous or a sheepdog in their past lives, I’ve never heard of anyone thinking they might have been Plato.  Personally, I think I know the guy.  Like Einstein has said, All times are now.

And isn’t it a bad thing to be deceived about the truth, and a good thing to know what the truth is? For I assume that by knowing the truth you mean knowing things as they really are. (Plato)
The philosopher is in love with truth, that is, not with the changing world of sensation, which is the object of opinion, but with the unchanging reality which is the object of knowledge. (Plato)
Truthfulness. He will never willingly tolerate an untruth, but will hate it as much as he loves truth. … And is there anything more closely connected with wisdom than truth? (Plato)
What is at issue is the conversion of the mind from the twilight of error to the truth, that climb up into the real world which we shall call true philosophy. (Plato)
The object of knowledge is what exists and its function to know about reality. (Plato)

The underlying truth to all reality, though, as such, is represented in this one super condensed realization...

5) Last myspace message you received?
Egads, I keep forgetting about myspace.

So my brain is enjoying *trewth*. I hope your brains enjoy things this weekend.

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