Some of these are categorically indeterminable, so I'll just jumble them up together.
I flirted back. She was a brunette Brienne of Tarth and one of the friendliest cashiers I've ever had, second only to the Taraji Henson-esque Big K cashier who flirted with me in right in front of Scott a couple of Christmases ago. Scott's been guy flirted with in front of me, too (last guy I saw try it was like a Hiddleston-Jack Nicklaus smash), so we're fairly even on how we score. We just generally don't flirt back.
My olfactory receptors are functioning on 'optimal' and I swear I could smell a couple of people growing cancer. They didn't smell 'bad', just different, and that was through their hazes of early morning cigs and booze, their laundry detergent, their pets, their attempts (or non attempts) at mouth odor control (I could probably even correctly tell you whether that was before or after their nutritionally poor breakfasts), and the car smells still lingering around them.
I bought more stuff than I intended, but so far I have absolutely no twinges of regret. We'll see how @bonenado feels about it tonight.
Driving still sucked because, with the super pings muted by the med, all the other stuff loudly complained. However, I felt more alert than usual. That could have been from getting real sleep, though.
I got Bunny's cake ordered and the bakery person was extra special nice to me because I felt extra special nice because I wasn't getting zapped around my left shoulder and chest constantly. I felt like we were in Happy Land together or something. I wonder if she thought I was high. I bet she wishes everyone shopping was high like me.
I've come all the way back and brought in groceries and had lunch and doing this and actually thinking about minecraft and haven't laid down yet. I normally have to crash after a morning out in town. I can tell, though, that the second I think of doing something useful, #napclub will immediately wrestle me down and I won't do anything to stop it. I'm still having no twinges of regret about anything.
I'm actually still counting my calories, in case you guys might be thinking I'm stuffing my face without any regrets.
I shouldn't have even spelled #napclub...
This is close to what Bunny's cake will probably look like. It clicks out to Walmart cakes at a location very far from me, not sure why I can't find a local pic.
I think I want a giant Dr. Strange cake for my birthday that I can fall onto, but yeah, maybe I'm a little bit wasted... I was a little miffed that I can't get a Dr. Strange lunchbox yet (srsly guys, back to school), hafta wait till November.
Watching the world yap away on FB, twitter, G+, skype, and texts. Stuck in a deep dark hole where my words don't slide into convos without tangling them up. The lurk is strong tonight.
Today felt 96 hours long. Stayed focused outward on chopping trees, mining ore, cooking sand blocks into glass, shearing stray sheep wandering by. Anything to keep my mind off it sucking to breathe. I've got the slightest control over it now, every move I make still precariously setting that tickle off again. It's been maddening in every sense of the word. Having to take a phone call to schedule my next round of therapy in May nearly undid me for awhile. If it's this bad in my house doing nothing, what will tomorrow be like going back into town? How will I talk with my psychologist tomorrow? This is triggering all kinds of memories of people I know who've spent their lives feeling this way because cystic fibrosis, or older people I know living with chronic COPD or emphysema. A pulmonologist told me a few years ago I'm heading that way one day, not necessarily from smoking 3 packs a day for a year and a half 20 years ago, but because my lungs are scarred up from a fungal infection common to this area. People get it from the soil when they garden and usually never even know it. It's a very specific kind of scarring and the pulmonologist recognized it instantly. He said my scarring is pretty bad.
Soil-Related Bacterial and Fungal Infections
Funny thing was, my chiropractor was the first person who alerted me to my scarred up lungs, was very concerned about it. All the chest x-rays I've had through the years, no one ever mentioned it. After I saw the pulmonologist I was able to go back and let the chiropractor know it's old scarring that I've lived with most of my life, probably acquired it as a teenager after we moved to this area. But it's interesting, isn't it? The chiro takes lots of x-rays, and so does the pulmonologist. They were both fairly disturbed about what they saw. The pulmonologist was floored that I'd never been to a doctor about breathing problems until I saw him later in midlife.
Every time I hear people talking about getting back to nature and living the healthy lifestyle, I just laugh. I'm positive for so many horrible afflictions, not the least being lyme (ticks), epstein-barr (mice), bartonella (farm cats), and apparently scarred up lungs from digging around in the dirt raising our own food. I made it through some pretty outrageous fevers in my childhood. My sister made it through a kidney infection without medical intervention. Yeah, we have great memories of back to nature and organic and the healthy lifestyle. Pretty sure I've been through listeria (raw milk) and salmonella (chickens) more than once. Sick. as. a. dog.
Oh, and by the way, rheumatic fever is real. Back to nature means getting through ridiculously high fevers without antibiotics, so I was ripe to be the lucky kid who went on to develop an arrhythmia during a nasty bout of measles in high school that I lived with for years and eventually had to be surgically corrected. General consensus is I'd have croaked from heart failure in my 40s without it. Just a thought. Strep and measles are no joke.
You can see why I am understandably pissy when I don't feel well. I haven't felt well most of my life, and although I'm the last person to whine that life isn't fair (I know so many people who've gone through much worse), I do tend to take being 'sick' a little personally. My backwards parents dragged me through everything without the medical assistance I desperately needed at times, and I became so calloused to pain that I didn't learn compassion for many years. Throw all of this into an autism spectrum head and you've got a perfect Mr. Glass scenario. He was a whiner too, actually. At least he had some sympathy from his mom.
I have felt this conflict my entire life. I've been obsessed with evil villains since I was a small child. Everything that drove me on goes back to anger, social isolation, and especially feeling emotionally abandoned and neglected by my parents. (Longer version here, embedding was disabled.) Spoiler warning- this is the end of the movie if you haven't seen Unbreakable.
Nowadays, medical neglect of children is looked upon as criminal. My parents weren't bad people. But I was for awhile. It's hard to pick up on the sympathy for others thing when you don't know what it feels like to personally receive it. I learned not to cry and just hold everything in, but it took awhile. I've met young adults who emancipated themselves from parents as teenagers just so they could get medical help. Unfortunately, their conditions were far worse than mine, but my first thoughts meeting people like that are 1- how incredibly brave they had to be (desperation can make the weakest among us very brave), and 2- why did I not ever think of that??? I have an independent stubborn streak that makes people crazy, but it never dawned on me to just leave home and go do what I want. Perhaps that is what saved me from becoming Mr. Glass, I dunno. I'm sure being autism spectrum had a lot to do with not picking up on a few things about the freedom I actually could have gotten for myself. As it was, I fought tooth and nail to get a driver's license after I graduated high school, and then get a job. I took a lot of crap for missing church to work in a pizza place, or coming home after midnight on late shifts. Most parents would probably be thrilled the grown kid was working, but noooo. Everything I did was taboo.
Yep, in a solid funk. Not exactly wallowing, maybe pissily stewing after a long day of distracting myself. At least I wasn't out there starting fights and inciting riots. I used to use other people for sport as distraction. That's why my very first post coming back out public had an apology in it, lol.
I confess I set those bombs under all those bridges. But I have a psychologist now. I've been practicing, like this: *ahem* "I'm sorry I ate your pets and used their skins for pillow cases. I hope you can forgive the misunderstandings and gloss over the awkwardness this has created."
I did this edit.
In case you missed it.
Ok, where was I? Back to evil. I can't tell you how often I've studied this guy. I wanna be just like him when I grow up, but I'm afraid I'm only quasi-evil. I'm just not as dedicated as I used to be.
I've about blogged myself into a stupor. Maybe I'll be able to sleep.
Ok, I'm still here. Broke out the inhaler yesterday. Got a real purty blood pressure reading after that, but bless whoever invented inhalers, I was actually able to sleep. Adding a second BP med to the mix this month (per doctor). Just part of my April routine.
But I've dropped 2 more pounds. I reeeeeaalllyyyyy hope all this weight I'm dropping stays off. That's how bad I was coughing, guys. That makes 6 total now. Coughing adds so much fun to fibro. I get to juggle in fibro of the rib cage and a headache now because of the asthma. I haven't had a real asthma attack in nearly 2 years.
Got a lotta wood chopped yesterday while I coughed, stocking up the store and thangs. (/warp Rivyn111 on MoCreatures). Oh yeah, totally won my first obsidian block off a weird giant robot mob. Mobs- Mo'Creatures wiki
So glad I'm staying in my house today. To all the people out there expounding on how the inside of one's home is worse on allergens than being outside- you haven't lived in SW MO. You haven't truly suffered the orgy that is nature. Take all the dog and cat dander, all the dust mites, all the whatever around your house and multiply it by a billion. I need a gas mask and a hazmat suit just to go to the grocery store.
And oak is just barely even starting. We've got a big oak right by our front deck that's about to rock the Kasbah.
In case you didn't know, that's a movie now, not just a song.
Also, in case you missed it, the Dr. Strange trailer was released last night.
Gonna cough-rock my day. Y'all get all over your survival techniques.
click for "Benedict Cumberbatch Rumored To Be Martian Manhunter" In his on-going quest to be in every film franchise ever...
Power point today. You're welcome. (I have no idea how this is going to break down on your device, I'm playing with float left margins. It looks good on my laptop, all the hands line up with each power point. If it looks like gobbledygook on my phone later, I'm not going to fix it. It can represent the chaos that is my life.) (Yeah, like I wound up getting Bunny from daycare yesterday while mama was in 2-hour allergy testing, her ~entire arm~ reacted to everything trees and grass. Srsly.) (This power point is after wrestling with app downloads and settings at one in the morning when I popped awake for awhile)
Pretty sure twitter created mute because its disable mobile notifications is broken.
People keep inviting me to get FB messenger- epic facepalm when I ignore everyone after I do?
I've had a skype account for 2 years. I've never used it. Ever.
The random people inviting me to hangouts gets a little disturbing.
Yeah, I keep all this stuff turned off. That's why I need staff, to manage my public interaction scheduling for me.
By the way, all y'alls twisting Christmas up into weird, looks like half the Christmas cards at Target are poop joke related, so there you go. Way to finish crashing an already worn out season right into the gutter.
But like Lady GaGa's people say, Pop will never be lowbrow. That's your doublespeak phrase for the day.
But let's cut to the chase. Benedict in pre- Dr. Strange costume, filming in Nepal. More info, and first look release from 11-7-15 here. (Lotta up close pix in that last link.)
TODAY. Still bringing order to chaos, then a couple crazy days back in town, no idea yet about Fri-Sun but I'm betting on more chaos, so let's get my jam on and GET TO WORK >=lFOCUS!!!
Power point today. You're welcome. (I have no idea how this is going to break down on your device, I'm playing with float left margins. It looks good on my laptop, all the hands line up with each power point. If it looks like gobbledygook on my phone later, I'm not going to fix it. It can represent the chaos that is my life.) (Yeah, like I wound up getting Bunny from daycare yesterday while mama was in 2-hour 