Totally going to ramble this morning, and I'm better now, thank goodness, so I'm going to share one of the coolest Halloweens I've ever enjoyed. Alone. #itwasawesome But real stuff happened, too, and I really did suffer, so the fantastic level was at pure 10.
Up to this point, I haven't been a nether person and avoid portals. I find 'hell' disorienting and get lost.
But this portal showed up by my new digs...
My day started with the dentist. My teeth aren't beautiful, but they are healthy and functional, plus my gums are also still very healthy, which is phenomenal at my age, so I don't mind going in every 6 months for little fixits, like sealing a broken bit or keeping an eye on a teensy spot for a year and a half that finally became a witty bitty cavity.
At first we had no idea who did this, and it wasn't until signs with coordinates were left on a doorstep that we decided to investigate.
I get the epi-free numby shots because regular novacaine catapults me into these magnificent anxiety attacks that make me feel like I've been electrified right down to my toes. I usually take benadryl and extra xanax before I go in to help handle the needle (super aspie's so aspie), and my dentist is unusually awesome with autism spectrum, so over a few years I have really settled for him. Yesterday I tossed around pros and cons of moving a xanax dose up a couple hours, overlapping previous dose, and the result was floating around for a few hours, and thank goodness because this was actually a pretty painful fix, even with a numby shot, and even though it went really fast. I was nearly backflipping outa the chair while the band was being jammed down into my gumline. He said I would feel it later...
Stepping through the portal, I can already see hell on the other side.
I floated out of there and over to Walmart, which was unusually super busy on a Monday morning, so I guess it's official- Christmas is here and the next 10 weeks trying to get a few groceries will be like trying to navigate Silver Dollar City on Memorial Day weekend. But it was cool, I was still numb and floating, looking like someone punched me lightly in the face, which is a great way to deter being smiled at by strangers. I wrote this in 2009 when life monumentally sucked. Smile. You'll feel better. Things are way easier now, but I was kinda loopy yesterday, so best not interact too much.
Stepping through is really dangerous, you get attacked immediately. The first time through, I wound up reeling and falling into lava far below.
I haven't indulged in scented candles in several years, so I picked up a large Moonlit Night (Yankee Candle) by American Home. Oddly, as perfume-y as it is, it's one of the few scents that doesn't start me sneezing immediately, or even at all. I just need to smell something besides my house. I keep airing it out because it's been so gorgeous outside, but my allergies are still going full blast, whee.
Seriously dismal, but I'm getting good enough at minecraft to handle it now, plus with the old server going out soon, we're allowed to switch to creative mode, which I have to do very quickly every time I go either way through a portal because for some reason, stepping through throws me back into survival.
So that numb shot and xanax both didn't wear off until right in the middle of the Gotham live tweet last night, and *wham* that sucked. Instant dragon again for about 10 minutes before I realized and took a pain pill. He wasn't kidding about feeling it later, it's 24 hours later now and my face hurts like crap and I can't take anything yet, so I'm in this weird limbo state where I'm nearly in full shut down trying to stay on autopilot switching from one thing to another every few minutes. I started this post 7 hours ago.
I shared in yesterday's post that we'd been sent on this mysterious adventure to find riches or something. I followed really vague clues and found this place by sheer accident.
And in case you're not ready to be over Halloween yet, here, go have some fun. Tim Burton Illuminati (search list)
And then ask yourself if his 'fails' and 'losing his edge' is really about sales. If you don't see CATCF as a perfect counterpart to AiW, then you're living in a really tiny bubble, because we are immersed and there is no 'out' of hell.
I kept thinking there HAD to be more to adventure than just finding a secret lair hidden in the nether, right? I've been learning how to use xyz coordinates to determine probabilities and was getting pretty good at finding villages and temples like crazy, so maybe I could do the same thing in the nether....
Ok, you found that boring, you need much more difficult gristle to gnaw on. Here, try this. the difference between historical illuminati and pop culture illuminati (another search list) My question- if Illuminati doesn't exist in any real form from any point of view, then why is it so pervasively used? Doesn't that itself cause its existence? Just because it doesn't fit a definition for the 1700's, or just because it's a fictionalized part of our modern world doesn't mean it doesn't exist. For a conspiracy word, this one is about the most pervasively slippery being used at every turn but not really being real. Why are we using it, then? (doublethink) A Brief History of the Illuminati
I personally don't care if there are secret historical ties or it jumped the shark, but everyone seems to be on board this train, so let's just call it what it wants to be called, ok? Maybe someone co-opted it.
Long story short, after a couple of hours of plotting and surveying, a small piece of ladder magically showed up on a block near the lair, and quite simply, I took it to mean 'go up'. I was in creative, easy peasy, just launch up and punch my way through layers of hell, It didn't even hit me I could punch through and get completely OUT of everything. Wo....
You guys didn't see me getting all my dishes done between paragraphs. I don't just sit here and surf.
Someone had been busy! I just sat here sqeeeeing like an idiot, I was so tickled to get to see this.
It was about this time last year that I got called a psycho for freaking someone out. It was a weird friendship, and I'm sure the innocents had no idea I accidentally popped his PTSD cork. If you don't know what I'm talking about, take the blue pill and go back to sleep. Me, I like being awake, and walking among the dead. Ok, yes, even with an outstanding headache from the dentist. Don't scoff, some of you people blowing it off with everyone goes through that. Um, yeah, fine, just spend a day in my body and then go cry on twitter about how much frickin nerve damage is ruining your life. I'm amusing myself through a headache. Some of you will probably never understand that.
Behind the figures were stairs leading up a sort of nether temple mount, and from there I was running around inside the figures (more clues!!!) and back down into the nether through the Outside mountain.
By the way, I'm using a crockpot liner today. I still have fond feelings for him, even if he is still stuck in a blind loop. Apparently a lotta people are. Blame the drugs, blame the porn, blame the music, but if he's not a slave, he's a slaver, and I walked through the wrong door and triggered alarms. I never saw a more tortured soul trained to bolt, unless he's got genius acting skillz, which I doubt, although I do think he's a trained watchdog. I'll be more mindful next time. I know, this blogging out loud stuff is unreal, but srsly, I'm currently eating sauerkraut and hot dogs and about to go fold laundry. It's just a headache.
And then from there I was able to find out how we were being watched without being seen, found more chests (mostly empty), pretty much the remnants of a game not finished. Apparently it had been tried out (the original participants in survival would've had to be teleported to the Outside start point by admins), but I'm betting not completely solved, and there must still be hidden riches of some kind. Why else would clues be set up for us to find? The server is about to be wiped and reset, and the creator of this game probably never saw it finished out. I'm one of the regulars still logging in, and I love tunneling and snooping around other people's stuff. I am really enjoying this game.
You can make a big deal out of symbolism all you want, from any angle. Point blank, all symbols exist, whether humans exist or not. Whether they are mathematical and found in nature or are emotional or spiritual, they necessarily exist because the world is the way it is. Applying mystical meaning to a specific set of symbols is co-opting, adopting them for special interest usage. Historically, the 'Nazi' symbol has been used all over the world to mean very different things by a variety of peoples, but Hitler is the one who made it so famous that it became representative of something forever burned into our brains now. Same thing with other symbols in religions and politics of all kinds. When symbols become synonymous with ideas in your head because you've been trained to associate those symbols with specific ideologies, you have effectively been brainwashed. Everything from there becomes a muddle of string pulling and side taking, sometimes to the point of hate-mongering and even deeply trained fear and anxiety response. When you can walk away from ALL the symbols, you will be free. Nations and religions adopt symbols so people can find their 'kind' and group up, and this has become very fashionable in popular cultures and sales motifs. Guys, symbols are just symbols. If all symbols were taken away from us and we couldn't identify ourselves or other people with them, what would we do? Love each other? Can't have that, can we?
I don't know if Alien will see my note, but I did a screen shot for posterity. We'll always have hell...
I'll probably be listening to this right up through Christmas.
When I say "cryptic" you say "facepalm".
Cryptic
FACEPALM
Cryptic
FACEPALM
This has been stuck in my head since Bunny spent the night this weekend. It really affected me as a child, and I guess you can see where the pinkybluejacky thing started. My mom also called me Elephant's Child. If you know anything about Kipling, you know he wasn't a frivolous writer.
Ok, just weirded myself out. Googled 'pink elephants illuminati' and wound up here, here, then here, and it's wild in that last one that the key number is the age I am now and the time of year mentioned is now and I've already written about my own rabbit dream for my beta readers, and so much more in this is waaaaay too close to so much other stuff, too, lol. But seriously, guys, I actually get off on coincidence, or, as I prefer to see it, synchronicity. (Weirding myself out and freaking myself out are two different things. I'm mocking all of this, ok?) (Mocking doesn't necessarily mean side taking or making a belief statement.) (This is not an invitation to get weird back on me. I'm already worn out from growing up with all this.)
Before I go on, lemme remind us all that I was raised by a prophecy and numerology super freak and wound up studying everything I could find in (and getting a degree in) human behavioral studies, philosophies, developmental religious and political histories, and social psychologies. I know all the weird stuff the brain can do. But I also know very well how easily the brain is manipulated. I'm a big proponent of group think and brain training. I know that sounds bad, but we're already doing it, so I say do it right, with human dignity.
Humans are a unique species because we are so easily imprintable with symbolism, and symbolism easily both represents truth and stands in for truth, even when we know it is false, or true but intentionally construed as false, or even openly both true and false at the same time. We see loads of children's stories throughout the ages that deal with this sort of duality, and how we work through the symbolic pitfalls of life to reveal our own self truths, whatever they may be. Part of this journey usually involves excruciating pain of some kind, either emotional or physical or both, because without the pain the journey can't be made in the first place. This almost sounds like a condonement for abuse, but very certainly not from me, unless it's truly consensual. (You might find this idea interesting- Consent of the Governed.)
Anyway, it's almost like the human brain was designed specifically to be malleable to this sort of symbolic layering. The only real question, in my mind, is who gets to be responsible for the overwhelming fallout of this kind of portent if there really is a reckoning? Otherwise, none of the rest surprises me. So many species are behaviorally pattern-printed, no wonder humans try so hard to fit in. We feel lost without a built-in automated program. Everything we do with or against society must be embraced consciously, and for that we suffer the existentialism of awareness.
Basically what I'm getting around to is the idea that symbols themselves (shapes and patterns) are our genetic printing, and the way they are activated and layered with meaning and importance (representing ideas without having to use any words) is how we behave. The shape of a pyramid exists whether humans do or not. The shapes of circles and 5 or 6 pointed stars and crescent moons exist whether humans use them or not. Angles and dots and measurements and counts and the order they come in have always existed (this is what Plato was trying to say), humans have not. To adopt a symbol and call it good or bad and take it for a unique reference means nothing outside of human behavior. To recognize mathematical expression in our universe is simply that, recognizing that it's all around us. To assign particular meaning to it and fight wars over it belonging to this deity or that is purely human. Either God owns it it all, if there is a god at all, whoever he, she, or it is, or it's just someone using symbols to manipulate societal behaviors. Either way, symbols themselves don't have meaning until they are layered and imprinted as having meaning in the brain. Why would it be so far fetched that humans have already long since figured out how to run societies based on this kind of observational science?
I had a chicken who seemed fascinated by the Mystery of the Six Circles.
OOO
OOO
The first day she ran into them, she stared for an hour, transfixed as though she'd had a vision or revelation that she couldn't figure out, then came back every day to stare again. What I could never explain to her was that the circles were simply where paint cans had sat lined up together on a board, and all we did was lean the board up against the side of the house. It meant nothing. But to that chicken, that was a very special thing, something not in her genetic inventory to help her catalog and process. She never got over it, and was kind of upset when I finally moved it. It held meaning for her. Somehow, somewhere in that tiny little chicken brain, she was stricken with the awe of something so much bigger than her world, and it opened a little door in her mind that allowed a tiny little thought of something that she could never figure out.
Maybe this is what humans look like to something else who is able to step up above the basic symbolism and meaning thing, but for humans, it is how we survive as societies. Every major house or tribe or nation had or still has their own symbol to represent who they were, and identifying with one symbol or another holds deep meaning to each person's self worth in a very challenging world where identifying with the wrong symbol can get you ostracized, or worse, killed. Still, we all know the basics, like what a lightning symbol means. Lightning is very powerful and dangerous. Dancing with lightning bolts as a sort of sash to share and bind a dancing partner to oneself depicted during a hallucinogenic state is very suggestive of torture. Pink is reality distorted (pink is used a LOT in filming to denote very specific props and moods, sometimes associated with evil or as a soft cover over a darker plot), elephants are in charge. The entire song is delightful in my mind, and probably why I latched onto it in my weird childhood. Anyone who's gone through alternate mind states during heavy pain would be able to float right into that song. Anyone else would just blow it off as weird and say it was the alcohol. And then I say Maybe, but were the writers and illustrators drunk, as well?... Something to think about. You know, because this is supposed to be a children's movie. I didn't know what alcohol was, had never seen a drunk person, and my mom gave up attempting to explain that part to me. Why would it even be necessary for a parent to have to explain that? You don't see stuff like that in kid shows nowadays. It's a transitory scene before the big reveal of new behavior, just like what brains really go through under duress. I think it was very well done, much applause. My tiny brain recognized it exactly for what it was. I just didn't have the words back then to discuss it, or the parent capable of seeing what was right in front of her face- a coping mechanism. Can we say brain training?
So scoff if you will, but like the Cheshire cat, the truth is both right there in front of your faces and yet invisible. At any rate, I was an extremely impressionable child and apparently caught all the innuendo and psychological subtext, because I have survived a lifetime of extreme pain and brokenness kind of the same way brainwashed people survive being brainwashed. I see it all around me, it's part of our culture and has been for several generations, and scoffing only shows how powerful it has become if we can now bring it up openly and not believe it. (Remember, my dad was saying ALL this stuff decades before the general public even heard of the rumors, which should have been impossible unless he's either psychic or experienced.)
But if you want to see a then/now comparison, put this pink elephants production next to Lady Gaga's career series and you'll see all the same stuff replicated- the lightning bolt, the split personalities, two different rebirth stories (think about that one), and much more. It's all there. All this symbolism has been part of our culture since our parents and grandparents were tiny tots themselves. Pretty sure it's not random.
Back to real life. Thank goodness I'm starting to feel better, finally. I still have a few good days left this week to look forward to, yay! (Please no jinxing...) I mean, I still can't do much more than whisper, and my eye is still kind of weird, the ear on the same side is itching insanely waaaaay in there, and I'm not sure my brain isn't part pudding or something, but overall, being able to eat again is extremely awesome. The first thing I headed for this morning was tuna. I'm thrilled to be feeling too hot now instead of freezing and can't warm up.
After taking a month off so I could deal with the intensity of physical therapy, I feel terribly behind in everything. I really don't know how true OCD people cope. I'm only on the fringe and the pressure to get my routine back is enormous.
Blogger has announced it will be encrypted by the end of the month, which probably has something to do with what I was talking about Sunday. Everything is supposed to smoothly switch over to https, so hopefully none of my links will screw up. I must have 200,000 links in Pinky blog by now, lol.
I've got a couple of older posts going viral again last few days, and they're not connecting to anything related to bots now, as far as I can tell. Views are 560 and 487, but blogger isn't lumping the new incoming into the overall 'all-time' totals. I mean, that hasn't hurt anything in the all-time top ten list, but aspienado has hit the number 4 spot (already! only been 2 weeks), but there are a couple others that should have shown up higher ranked than aspienado by now that don't even show up on the top ten list, so the blogger widget code for the all-time top ten must be faulty. I can't express how badly I want to get in there and fix all the math... Anyone can write code, but without rigorous usage and feedback, fancy code is just as mediocre as anything you get at a dollar shop. What's the point of novelty socks that shrink in the wash and you can't wear them anyway. I may hafta look around for a better widget and import it. I'll refrain from going into a widgetbox loss weeping spell again. That was the most brilliant thing ever and they went bankrupt. All the really cool stuff gets mowed over.
I've said yes to a book reading challenge. The book on the left just arrived in the mail. We did a trade off, the book I suggested back is really cool, too. Each pic clicks to Amazon if you want to check it out. Note-I'm not signed up to get any compensation for Amazon link sharing. This is a legitimate reading challenge swap.
Couldn't sit through TV tonight because I'm coughing my head off ever since @bonenado walked in, something on his clothes (dust from work? pollen?) set me off really bad despite all the zyrtec and benadryl I'm taking, so we're on our computers and probably calling it quits pretty soon. I've tried several times today to catch up on at least some of all that lost sleep, but not having much luck yet.
Feelin' silly. Need to get away from those pink elephants.
Cracking up at discovering my tag 'symbols' was always spelled wrong. May as well stick with what works. :edit: 11-1-16 Fixed it, lol.
If you don't get the title by the end of this post, it's ok, just free associating after a deep think.
I have been utterly obsessed with this eye for three months. Sorry, left my flash on. It's at the very end of the Sherlock ep The Blind Banker, a wonderfully apt title. Note of interest for actor spotters- Gemma Chan, who played Soo Lin Yao in this ep, now plays Anita in Humans.
This comes from a lifelong obsession with eyes in the first place, but what's bothering me is that this hint at something seems to have been dropped entirely ever since. We don't know if it was washed off, painted over, or remains all these years staring ominously at Sherlock's flat.
I dig around for other fan interpretations and explanations. This one is pretty good (just a hint of what I could be bothering you guys with). Couple of thoughts after reading that interpretation.
1- I'm irritated that Sarah never once thought to simply kick and tip her chair over after being courageous enough earlier to hit an attacker over the head. That was the worst kind of female helplessness I've seen in a long time. She was way too smart for that in every other scene. @bonenado is irritated that John couldn't hang onto her, says he likes Sarah better than Mary.
2- I subscribe to Mycroft being M here, even without having realized the soundtrack themes were supporting this. The second Shan said she appreciated the help getting into the country, I knew it had to be government.
3- The mirroring is probably why I'm obsessed with the entire series. The visual subtext about siblings speaks deeply to the horrors Mycroft finds himself caught up in. That this series could be so thorough and all-encompassing without having to drag through it with conversations explaining everything to the audience is brilliant, and I thank Moffat and staff for assuming we are intelligent. They go to great lengths, and if you like obsessing over details and editing mistakes, here is a fun wikia for you.
Anyway, the eye is a really big deal. I'm not talking about the all-seeing eye or the evil eye motif, which China doesn't have. I'm talking about being marked or tagged, a visible warning. Who did it? Shan and her people were already dead by this time. I've been a triad fan since my first Jackie Chan intro many years ago, and that eye looked more Egyptian graffiti than anything. I wound up in weird places like this and still didn't find a connection. Did Mycroft have it done? If you'd love to lose yourself obsessing over ancient symbols, knock yourself out. I was raised by a man obsessed with numerology and symbolism in prophecy, so to me this is like brain candy.
Lurkers have probably noticed I seem to avoid certain kinds of music vids. It's true I'm not into watching mushy collections of stills, especially when I'm making it obvious now that I have no interest in infatuation (asexual with prosopagnosia, sorry Benedict, love you anyway), but I have collections of music that help me think really hard. It's a sort of brain training technique. I use particular music patterns to push myself to GET TO WORK and FOCUS or to sort my moods so I won't kill people (metaphorically), and I use this mesmerizing rhythm stuff like a string to follow way deeper into my head. I don't watch them, just put my headphones on and think. iio especially is awesome for deeper thinking. But you can watch them if you want.
