I have no idea how I even got into the live tweet, much less pulled 5800+ impressions on a hot world live tweet with scattered hashtag feeds going a million miles an hour between less than 1 ms on internet ping speed with a nearly used up data plan on a nearly dead phone, but it felt sooooo gooooood. I've had better tweet nights, but it's been MONTHS, and I'm so hungry for a good run.
Right now I'm comparing that to chopping punkins on a server that rarely pulls over 30 people at a time... I really do miss the thrill-seeking. I'm wondering if I should take a hard look at my priorities again. I need to feel good about what I'm doing, and let's face it, the cost/benefits are eating me in a few ways. I love that I'm being creative, but I'm not loving that I'm disappearing. I love that I have a stress management diversion, I'm not loving that I'm using it to duck and hide.
I admit I've been a big bad jerk today. Well, mostly all in my head, but if it's all the same, guilty. I don't let myself reach the bottom center of the black hole of feeling selfish very often, but I went there today for a few minutes and very thoroughly disgusted myself. Then I beat myself up and shoved my face into a new playlist, and I was all fixed by the time Sharknado 5 came on.
I sometimes do that on antibiotic. First 24 hours I can be a real bitch. I managed to fold most of it back into myself before it could leak out anywhere, mostly because I'm seasoned enough to know I generally do a lot of apologizing later and it would be stupid of me to let it go there if I know it's coming, right? But I did whine in the last post, which is facepalm, so thank goodness everyone bailed mid movie because it's not their thing and went to bed. I'm afraid I'm the only real Asylum fan in the house, and I think this is the first of several years that I've missed so much live tweeting.
Anyway, here's where I shoved my head and by the time I was done with this, I was all better. (I don't self harm physically, but I do torture myself mentally. It works.) If you miss stalking me up to the minute and I seem down, you might see a new playlist popping up on my youtube page once in awhile, and that's me dealing, like this one appearing today. There you go.
Yesterday I learned how to make chocolate chip cookies in minecraft. Today I spent an hour registering to obtain EU cookie compliance code on my own and still couldn't force an install on my xanga blog. I may have found a workaround to convert the java script, but that would take another hour and still might be shredded by the preset widget parameters, so I'm letting it go for today. The cookie law is a big deal. (Facebook, especially, is coming under loads of legal action over it.) In the last 6 months I've watched 3/4 of my worldwide readership dwindle away as that U.S. blog has gone dark to the outside world. Why is this a big deal for bloggers in general? Because our blog hosts are affected by this. Ultimately, it's their place to protect our content because they use it to make money on, either through upgrades or through ads that show up on our blog posts. I wish it were an automatic rollout, not sure why individual bloggers must do the plug-in part. I'm having to face (again) the possibility that I might still wind up losing that blog.
I understandably have a headache. I obsessed over that for an hour before I even got my first cup of coffee. I think it's safe to say the head cold is about over. Four more days on antibiotic.
One of my bigger regrets in life is not making a rant blog for The Flash. (See occasional rants here.) Last night did not disappoint. I'll forego the litany for a close up on a short scene. My favorite scenes are the graphic depictions of complex theories.
Just a reminder that these actors get paid some sweet dough to draw those circles, and that the explanation flew so fast past most of your brains that you don't have a clue more science discussion went into the Back to the Future series than it does in Star Labs.
Maybe I should mention I had to pause the DVR when Caitlin and Jay were sitting on the bench near the end talking about his doppleganger and all the effort they'd put into finding him, etc, because one sentence out of Jay's mouth completely obliterated the need to have even looked for the guy in the first place- his DNA was compromised in the accident, so a match could never be found anyway. Like neither he nor Caitlin would have ever thought of this in the first place. Like they were casually comparing Dunkin Donuts coffee to Starbucks coffee or something. Like shucky darn, all that time we wasted, oh well.
Click for a very nice Kevin Sorbo timeline review
This pic is from Kull the Conqueror
Here Kull is in chains
Disclaimer- the following is all in good fun.
Oh, I think I know why Kevin Sorbo unconnected from me on LinkedIn. Some of you have noticed my broad hinting at entertainment as a front for brain training the masses (ok, I didn't say it exactly like that, but X-Files pretty much did this week) and that being blatant about it is a great way to install doublethink and callous y'all over while you watch political debates and the world changes around you without anyone noticing it much (ok, I haven't exactly said it that way, either, but seriously, I actually have stated multiple times I'm on board with world order {if the right team wins the flag, you know it's Masons vs Moors, right, goes way back}) because world sync would make everything soooo much easier on the general consumer trying to watch TV and blog. Anyway, I love Kevin, he's not just an awesome actor but a stand up guy (admittedly with shady affiliations), and maybe, just maybe, if this is all real like Mulder believes, all the clues have been given to us and he can no longer be allowed to associate with someone who's taking it a little too seriously. I dunno. Or maybe it's because I'm cool with orientations and stuff. Whatevs. But I ran into this the other day. It's pretty old, but if you like conspiracy theories, there you go. Kevin Sorbo Talks Breeding With Reptiles And Assasin Work In New Illuminati Film
Actually, Kevin might not even have a clue, maybe one of his alters runs his LinkedIn account. *wink* Ok, kidding. I love Kevin. He's an exceptionally pretty part of the machine that he's trying so hard not to actually be part of but is still part of but not really part of. I don't want him to question himself and wind up shaving his head like Britney. Best just let this one go. It's like actors say- they've all done what it takes to get where they've gotten. Being an icon for Good doesn't mean you're not doing exactly what someone else wants as a cover.
Now plz to finish your brainwashing while you enjoy the concept art behind this video. I'm not putting it here because I'm not in the mood for it right now, although I think it's brilliantly done. The end visual, of course, is a head that has turned into a broadcast satellite over a blood red figure. Ask yoursef- how many music vids have "satellite" in the title? How many vids out there have similar titles coming out almost at the same time, over and over and over? It reminds me of a fifth grade writing prompt, the class being given particular words to use in a few paragraphs and all of us working at the same time on our interpretations of those words in stories. Sorry, way off track now. I need to find something and get off here, hafta run errands today.
If you wanna know the future, just keep an eye on what's happening in global food production and Lady GaGa videos. It's not about her, it's about communicating the mass marketing of an idea, guys. She's a commercial product selling a private product that flies over your heads. Ask yourselves why entertainment keeps focusing our attention on surviving world-scale tragedy. Is it just a thing? I think it's distraction. Just keep people focused on the world ending and then they're so relieved when it really doesn't, even if something changes, they'll more easily accept it and think whew, at least it wasn't the world ending.
I find the whole industry fascinating, it's like a huge social-psyche experiment. If you actually watched that vid, consider that Kevin played Hercules and then Kull. I see no difference in motivation here. If you can't see this or don't get it, go back to sleep. It's ok. But remember what I said about losing.
Today will be long and hard and I don't apologize for anything. I'll keep it quick because I just need to write it down for my regular journaling, please don't awwww me, ok? NOT my first rodeo. Probably my 1500th rodeo.
click for iphone wallpapers
Z-Paks have been awesome for me because I have such a hard time with other antibiotics, but last few times have been a little rough. This weekend has bordered on 9-10 level pain suckage. I usually go through a 2-day herx and then spring back to life. This time I slid back down the hole somewhere during day 4, and now that I'm past day 5 and feeling even grosser, maybe time to stop the Z-Paks. It's got FDA heart rhythm and liver toxicity warnings, and I have a history of rhythm correction surgery and a dx'd liver condition (NASH, I do have damage, about an inch long) and I actually turned down a plea from a doctor years ago to check for autoimmune liver because CMV flared my liver up pretty viciously in 2008 for several months and the local liver flares since have been suckage to the max, so I just avoid anything and everything that can set it off.) (This means taking another extended break from my only pain med, bleah.)
click for wallpapers
So right now I'm in a place where I seriously can't tell if I'm dealing with hepatic flexure inflammation or actual liver pain. I wanna curl up and die in a corner, but I know I hafta keep moving, and if this gets even barely worse I'll need to call in and maybe get blood tests to see if my liver enzymes are elevated. Crossing my phalanges it's 'just' 'abdominal discomfort', to put it euphemistically.
click for instructions to make rainbow fire jackolantern
On the bright side, my olfactory system is back to bloodhound status, my lizard eyeball is nearly over (halfway through another bottle of eye drops), and the napalm feeling in my head has ebbed away, thank goodness.
You can never have enough rotating wallpapers, so click this
If you're not hip to the chronic spoonie jive, that all probably looks kind of dire, but it's not. I'm very healthy for my age and all the crap I've lived through. It's just I'm living with a 'pain syndrome' which means I can feel every little thing in my body long before it becomes critical, and because of that, as one doctor has so blithely remarked, I'll probably outlive everyone. While other people manage to eat and drink themselves into much worse states of health long before they even feel sick with it (many people have no idea they're developing long-term liver conditions that ~can~ eventually kill them, it's very common), I'm croaking off over every little thing and getting healthier because it's so abysmally miserable to enjoy anything. However. I know two fairly young people who succumbed very quickly to sudden liver cancers, which are shockingly aggressive, and another person who was on a liver list for at least a year for hepatitis C, so you can imagine I take liver pain pretty seriously. If this doesn't start calming down through the day, now that Z-Pak dosing has been over for 24 hours, I'll be all over it.
Halloween cards- click
Anyway, this has been one of my face feels gray and powering through major suckage weekend, which makes me more 'hug all the people' and 'outa my way you idiot' kind of Jekyll and Hyde, so I may kind of keep to myself and keep ignoring some of you. Graphic zombie stuff really doesn't help me wrap my brain around dealing, so I'm closing my eyes while I work. Except when I look out the window to soak in how beautifully the autumn leaves are glowing with the sunrise behind them.
It's amazing how blissfully ignorant I can be going through stuff until I rebound off a wall and lay around half a day wondering what hit me.
Everything inside my head feels like the words 'torched', 'nuked', 'scorched', 'flamed', 'seared', and I'd probably better stop that before some of them try rearranging themselves into some kind of weird poetry.
click for a blogger who goes into way more detail
it's actually pretty funny
I went through a 15 mL bottle of eye drops in 48 hours flat, but it's cool because my eye doctor gave me some $4 off coupons for more Refresh 'Tears' when I got new glasses last summer. I found a link for you guys to print coupons, too. You're welcome.
I can't say this is the worst sinus infection I've ever had, but it usually doesn't take 4 days before I can actually feel the inside of my head again. And it feels like it's in shock. It's asking for a blanket.
One of those mornings I blur awake and immediately spring into action.
Two hours flew by like magic, but I got so much done already. Yesterday was like that, too. I wonder how I was slogging along at all before I got that antibiotic. I feel like I had one of Underdog's super energy pills.
