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-Personal blog for Janika Banks.
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Sunday, August 6, 2017

in line for the #AprilUpgrade


I have no idea how I even got into the live tweet, much less pulled 5800+ impressions on a hot world live tweet with scattered hashtag feeds going a million miles an hour between less than 1 ms on internet ping speed with a nearly used up data plan on a nearly dead phone, but it felt sooooo gooooood. I've had better tweet nights, but it's been MONTHS, and I'm so hungry for a good run.

Right now I'm comparing that to chopping punkins on a server that rarely pulls over 30 people at a time... I really do miss the thrill-seeking. I'm wondering if I should take a hard look at my priorities again. I need to feel good about what I'm doing, and let's face it, the cost/benefits are eating me in a few ways. I love that I'm being creative, but I'm not loving that I'm disappearing. I love that I have a stress management diversion, I'm not loving that I'm using it to duck and hide.

I admit I've been a big bad jerk today. Well, mostly all in my head, but if it's all the same, guilty. I don't let myself reach the bottom center of the black hole of feeling selfish very often, but I went there today for a few minutes and very thoroughly disgusted myself. Then I beat myself up and shoved my face into a new playlist, and I was all fixed by the time Sharknado 5 came on.

I sometimes do that on antibiotic. First 24 hours I can be a real bitch. I managed to fold most of it back into myself before it could leak out anywhere, mostly because I'm seasoned enough to know I generally do a lot of apologizing later and it would be stupid of me to let it go there if I know it's coming, right? But I did whine in the last post, which is facepalm, so thank goodness everyone bailed mid movie because it's not their thing and went to bed. I'm afraid I'm the only real Asylum fan in the house, and I think this is the first of several years that I've missed so much live tweeting.

Anyway, here's where I shoved my head and by the time I was done with this, I was all better. (I don't self harm physically, but I do torture myself mentally. It works.) If you miss stalking me up to the minute and I seem down, you might see a new playlist popping up on my youtube page once in awhile, and that's me dealing, like this one appearing today. There you go.

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