an open letter to possibly a real person

Dear person using a page opener coming straight to Pinky blog-

I appreciate that you like what you've found. 💗 It's actually quite flattering that my posts are not only bookmarked with direct links, but that you like to open them back up to read, watch the vids, share, or whatever. Page openers, however, open all the links at the same time, which inflates the actual page views one person is making. Sometimes, when page openers are clicked on a lot, they look like spam bots and it's hard to tell if you're a real person, so sometimes being a visitor can make you invisible and overlooked even if you're right up front being my best visitor.

One of the problems with page openers pulling open all the direct links is that I can't gauge how well I'm doing with my reader base. Some of my posts have become super inflated to all time top posts and it's all from one person. We're reaching a point where my monthly stats won't mean anything any more if a third of my daily hits are coming from one person. I won't be able to objectively compare this month to April of last year or eight months ago or whatever because those months weren't inflated the same way by just one person.

I've noticed the bookmarks have changed a little over time (mostly after I brought it up first, which surprised me because it means you're a real person), and that lately there are sometimes fewer simultaneous multiple visits (like 4 instead of 6), which means this isn't necessarily a machine grinding away at my security or that you're simply not as compulsive as you were first coming across, but all the same, you're hogging my data log now, which I pay for, and I'm this close to not caring any more if I ever see stats again, which means I'll not only not notice you any more, but I won't bother noticing anyone else, either. I display public hit counts as a courtesy, but if that number is being overcome by one person regularly clicking a page opener, I may as well just take that off.

I would like to think you're a nice person who is finding something you really like on Pinky blog. This has happened with other blogs in the past, and before the world became a savvier lurker place, I was able to document for several months the daily whereabouts of one person in particular who traveled the world lecturing since his service host wasn't proxied and campuses don't hide their IP IDs. There have been a few other people who've checked on me daily that weren't family, and I even accidentally had a real life person I used to live by cease and desisted because it got really creepy. Since then I've become used to lurkers and don't mind being checked on, in fact, that's why I'm so public now, so that people can make sure I'm ok. I'm just saying, since you live in a different country than I do that isn't typical for app spamming (although you could be here in the U.S. routing dark web style to look out of country), that you are singlehandedly exaggerating my numbers so badly now that I can't help but wonder what in the world is going on with you and I want to ask- Are you ok? And if you're a coat-tailer, like I've been extricating from on social medias, you really need to stop and go get a sandwich or something. I've made all my jokes about people running into Pinky blog instead of porn and winding up staying for the brain candy, and now I'm thinking 6+ months of it is a bit excessive.

In the end, though, I'm concluding that I took the bait and you're actually enjoying the sparse attention and inviting me to try to dig you up, since I've talked about stats so much on Pinky blog. I'm not biting. Sorry about that. I could care less. You could be Johnny Depp and I wouldn't care. I know who reads Pinky blog, and all I will say is you're not alone, and I've had super lurkers for a decade now who are so deep that they really do know #allthethings. But chances are you're not Johnny, and you're not really here for #bencongruity and very clearly not here for Rick Lagina, so you must be here for *me*. Whatever niche Pinky blog is filling for you, awesome.

This is the last time I'm going to acknowledge that this is happening, and only because it's making me feel disappointed. I know, I should be feeling a lot happier about my numbers popping back up, but it's just depressing like this, and I can't pretend this is getting me anywhere special. If you're a real person, I really do appreciate you, but if you really really are a real person, please go talk to someone, because I'm getting a little worried about you. 💟 And if you're the Illuminati, I got the message. j/k

Love, Pinky