"My idea of the perfect hell is for the person you are now to meet the person you could have been."
This pic clicks to a user profile on a game site. I was looking for something else and ran into it.
Pink and blue together is a big deal. It seems to exquisitely depict emotional clash. Once you become aware of it, you see it used a lot in all kinds of artwork that way.
Pink and blue together is also very peaceful and mysterious, especially when you see it in photographs or artwork of the sky and space.
I guess it's statistically my turn for crap delivery, last 2 packages delivered (one UPS, one USPS) from two different national warehouses arrived not just damaged but one shattered like it fell off a high rise building and the other snapped in half like it had been run over in someone's driveway. Since a pair of fashion sunglasses made it here all the way from Shanghai in great shape without any extra special protection, I guess I'm getting my package abuse quota out of the way, which means holidays will be awesome this year. Last Christmas, a box I sent out got delivered to the wrong house and wasn't recovered until that family got back from holiday vacation. I'm actually ok with the damages, because the Soap DVDs inside the completely broken case are somehow just fine, and I had no idea that cool seashell toilet seat (scroll way down) would break that easily, and we've got a 3 year old showing up around here slamming the lids around. If that had happened instead of in transit, I wouldn't have been able to go after a refund.
For someone who spiked a 102 temp over the weekend and broke out into blisters (doctor verified hand-foot-mouth), Bunny was a nonstop pistol yesterday, so it was like being back on any kind of service job on a super busy day where you skip breaks and even lunch for 6 hours straight, and then Papa came home half a day and they went outside for an hour and came in worn out, and then sudden blissful silence when a nap finally took her hostage. Most of my day was like this.
No idea yet if daycare will be a thing today, so I can't help being up early just in case. My brain actually woke me up around 2 asking to be brined in coffee and I told it to shut up and tried to go back to sleep, but the *bing* was strong and now here we are at 3, letting coffee do magical things.
This is the first time something I've submitted has been officially scheduled.
Post #6257 "thank goodness there is an Autisable!" was scheduled ... It will be published on August 21, 2016 at 12:05 pm This action was taken on August 13, 2016 at 12:11 pm America/New_York
Originally published 5-22-09, linked back to it from twitter 12 days ago when Autisable finally went live again after server move and then host migration, and now to be officially vetted and republished on an (inter)nationally networked nonprofit community of thousands that has received 100K hits, if I'm remembering a tweet or FB status correctly. From their LinkedIn description-
Connecting the Autism Community, providing a place where people learn and discuss all issues surrounding the Autism Spectrum. Autism effects 1 in 54 people worldwide. Xanga.com launched Autisable.com in May of 2009. Autisable, LLC took over the site in July of 2016. If you are a writer and are syndicated on Autisable, feel free to add yourself as an Employee. However, please also include your syndicated blog on your account as a reference.
Don't think I'll be adding myself as an 'employee', but hopefully I'll get a couple more things submitted this year.
omg, sudden #coffeefail. I may hafta go lay back down for a few minutes. I need to be dressed and ready to head out around 5:30 if Bunny wakes up with a fever again, so I don't have much time to close my eyes. This song has been in my head the last 24 hours because Bunny. I've come to really appreciate the sparkle of high energy people since this is the second one now I'm helping get through tiny childhood.
All righty, I'm all over the place again, so let's see what's going on. @bonenado made fun of me this morning.
Facebook says I'm going to hell. This clicks back to facebook, and from there you can click to the test to see where you're going.
I really want this blue shirt like Daniel Tosh is wearing. Pic clicks to Tosh on Comedy Central.
I am apparently one of the rarest and most difficult to deal with personality types there are, so it's not surprising that Facebook says I'm going to hell. The pic clicks to the test if you want to find out your own personality, but you can also learn more here.
It's amazing how fast the rest of your face dries out when you have to spit a lot. Spitting sounds easy, how hard is it to produce a little bit of spit? Harder than you think. Our little human spit pouches feel like a big deal until we get graded on how fast we can produce the stuff. (You people thinking bad things, shame on you.)
That's right, I've been flagged 3 different ways for hereditary cancer, and medicare does NOT pay for this, so I'm hoping my supplement plan picks some of it up. The rest will go on a payment plan. I'd rather know than not know, right? My sisters and daughter will all be curious to know the results when I get them about a month from now. No idea if I'm the first family member to be tested, so if I turn out positive for carrier, the results will get passed around privately among a national network of genetically related individuals. This pic clicks to more info.
In the meantime, @bonenado is out picking up more stuff for salssssssa. We've got a tomato hill growing on the counter that needs immediate attention. Oh, and a scope for a deer rifle. We've decided his Native American name is Man With Bad Eyes And Crooked Bow. He also got scent bombs, fox urine, buck urine, a cool vest with a slick back pocket big enough to hold a machete, leg zip water proof camo pants that'll go with his new boots, and a tripod stool for when he's bow hunting. He's demonstrating it to me now. Woops, folded up on him. He's practicing the stand up maneuver. My knees would be too locked in place to stand up from something that low. Every year is pretty hilarious. I should look through my old private blogs sometime and do a special @bonenado post.
Sometimes I just have to pause on minecraft and appreciate that I'm actually part of real time 'living' art.
Real life. I keep telling you guys I live in Mirkwood. My house is on the other side of that huge wall of jungle in front of us there. (insert- that unmown grass on the left is 5-6 feet tall, and I'm not kidding, use the mailbox on the right for context) (and so you now have a mental picture when I start whining about pollen again...)
The forest looms.
We've got several kinds of wild grapes (raccoon grapes are a real thing) and whatever berries, I think this might be bittersweet, but that's just a guess. Between the gallons of acorns, hickory nuts, and walnuts and all the crazy wild berries and fruits around here (persimmon, pawpaw, osage orange), we have no lack of wildlife. Sometimes the squirrel population explodes, sometimes it's chipmunks, other years we might see foxes regularly, it's just up and down, mostly depending on weather and diseases spreading around. Big rabies and distemper area. (Scott just let me know the number of bats in the bat house has tripled since he looked last.)
Yeah, you can tell, right? I'm evening out on my meds this week. This is now my 5th week on gabapentin, first week back on beta blocker, first week of doubled zyrtec, and I seem to be busy and juggling all the things pretty well for a change. I'm able to do things without constantly maneuvering and planning around pain. There's still a bit there, but it's a little more manageable now. I've been able to start my workouts again, and I assess back into physical therapy in a few days, so just being more capable has shifted me into a terrific mood. I know that could be transitory, but while it lasts I have been enjoying getting my new syllabus on track, where I spend an hour every day reading and/or watching TV during the day to keep me time oriented and off minecraft. Minecraft is still hard and fast but less often, and so far my money and calendar syncs are still matching, even though I feel ditzy half the time.
That was quite a confession the other day, wasn't it? I remember in my 20s it was so taboo to even say out loud "I'm depressed." Over the years it was still taboo to admit it even to a doctor, much less a friend or someone from church, because the stigma of mental illness was so prominent that it meant immediate judgement and hushing up to hold down the tittering that would go on behind people's backs. My mother never got the real help she needed because of that. She begged people for help in the only way she knew how, ways that were controlled and sanctioned by a rigid belief system, and she died way too soon because of it, even though she fought hard the only way she knew to be herself, with all her glorious mood swings and the ways she could never quite fit into what people expected of her.
My mom was one of the kindest people anyone around us knew, spending money we didn't have to make sure other people's bills were paid, actually taking food to the destitute falling through cracks, making sure lonely people got cards in the mail during their last days of long illness. I'm not capable of that, but I am capable of standing up and saying I'm mentally ill and the world hasn't ended and my life is good, and I share this because it's important, and I hope other people can learn and realize that standing up for our own truths and honesty is how we survive.
I am not an easy person. I've learned how to be kind, but I'm not naturally born sweet. Hi, I'm Pinky, and I'm ok with myself.
This is for all the people who are afraid they'll snap and the world will hate them so bad, because sometimes it's only a matter of time and there is no one out there who understands how to catch them when their stars fall.
That account just followed me. I can't imagine that even working for me and Scott. His Trek thoughts are a very distant 'way back there' in a long line of zombie vampires storming werewolf Samurais in WWI bi-planes and long bows. He tolerates my Sunny in Philly/Farscape/Matrix approach to real life problems only because 1- I make good pie, 2- his mom never scared me, 3- his kid is cute, and 4- her kid is even cuter. If our love life hinged on Star Trek we'd be all pro-Kirk (me) vs anti-Janeway (him) with hard skirmishes around DS9. Anything Wesley Crusher would escalate tensions, and we'd have to resort to the Ferengi Rules of Acquisition if we ever separated. Spock is a wild card we don't resort to unless someone wants to die.
Sorry, got distracted on twitter. Me in another life, perhaps.
Me irl.
And I am NOT a fruit loop. Someone's just jealous. Actually I'm being silly. I'm really part of a sacred fruit loop gang. You probably can't see that whole fruit loop convo I just linked because some of it might be private. It really started out with Trix. And in case some of you don't remember, this green haired chick from Dark Matter was Harmony, the bossy little queen on Stargate Atlantis. By the way, shout out to WormholeRiders and Holly, who'll be on the writing team for Dark Matter reviews, yay!
Actually (all this pink talk), my first inclination is always blue. If my local eye clinic had anything like this, yeah.
And I'd have blue hair, all blue clothes, blue shoes, an all blue house, a blue car, and you all would never see me again because blue is my recluse color. You almost never actually see me in or around a bunch of blue in real life. I almost literally cannot even talk to people when I'm looking at a certain color range of blue. I've been like that since childhood.
Pinkybluejacky (the name, not the pinterest) wasn't a plan, just an implosion of color in my head before a big turn in my life. At first I thought, Oh no, I'm going purple... but no, they never seem to really mix. My colors never made sense until I started studying how people survive breaking. I went over a bunch of stuff I'd written out with @bonenado and he thinks my coping personalities make a lot of sense. I am realizing only very lately that I'm really good at self handling in dysfunctional situations. I grew up super detached. ~skip a bunch of stuff I deleted~ Is it any wonder I went through an obsession with Zaphod Beeblebrox one year. Ha, left you dangling.
I haven't been able to get this song out of my head for days, so from mine to yours. You're welcome. This is like me and social media and fandoms and all the crazy trouble I always got into. This would be a great song for a super smash shipper vid.
Thought it was really cool how the underlying theme in this whole last season of Doctor Who is about how we lie to our loved ones. Everything right up to the end of last night's ep was a play on how well we know each other by the way we lie. In case you're not a fan, this is Danny Pink, a character name I have enjoyed immensely.
Regeneration is a fun thing to think about, like reincarnation without having to let go of all your current relationships. I think in some ways we're already practicing this.
I was imagining what it would be like to regenerate as a dog or a horse and just discovered Doctor Whooves is a thing.
The funnest part of burritos is getting to pick them up from daycare and take them out to Applebee's for macaroni and cheese and apple dippers when mama is all wimped out from a tummy bug. I didn't get pix, and I sure hope I don't get the bug! O_O But in case that sounded yummy, here you go. I might have to look into joining the club and online ordering if burrito likes that place so much.
Something came up and I have to drive into town on a very wet day. I know this will sound weird, but I'm in a blue pink mood. I noticed when I was very young that looking at specifically patterned colors (even if the pattern seems random, artists and mathematicians would probably get this) I can focus myself into directions, like channeling the energy that pops up from anxiety into a more aware plan of actions. I don't know if it's the synesthesia, but I've been using thought experiments like this all my life to help me 'deal', because my anxiety goes off the wall.
Interesting that I can find the background I've been using on my Lexx blogs since 2004 in this search.
Can you imagine a future where a brain chip could handle anxiety spikes with subliminal color/pattern variations instead of having to take pills with all those side effects? I bet sometime in the future psychologists and psychiatrists will help us determine whether certain settings are working and help us adjust them with tweaks to subroutine commands.
