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-Personal blog for Janika Banks.
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Tuesday, January 20, 2015

slinging through the dark side

Slept in till 5:30 having a very complicated dream about trying to find and reclaim my mother's super cool nearly brand new plug in combo slow cooker/ buffet warmer/ something that I had borrowed and taken to really big church social (we're talking thousands), and I searched through the big church kitchen, the picnic area, and even the caterers and nursery and classrooms, and finally decided someone must've taken it home with them.

My mom has never owned anything like that.

My mom passed away five years ago.

The people I kept passing by in my dream as I was looking everywhere were all people from facebook and twitter and other internet places, most of whom I'd never met until after she died.

So why was that thing so important? What am I really looking for? What am I hoping to find that no one else can help me with? Why am I sad that a cooking utensil that she never owned is lost?

And what in the world triggered this? Why now? There is no significance to this date that I know of.

I don't want her story to be lost. I think this is me feeling guilty that I haven't been writing as much as I hoped this month. By the way, apologies for that near-rumble on facebook. I tried to keep myself reigned in. The couple of people who know what I'm talking about- imagine me being like that every day only 10X worse. #Aspienado.

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Dentist today. Better get myself psyched up for it.

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