Controlled crash turned into uncontrolled flameout, went from euphoria to super crab in two days flat, carnage everywhere, peasants shredded, blackened lumps where cottages once stood.
click pic for coolness
All the bacon in the world won't fix this. Oh, well. I was right, they were wrong. So I ate them. *burp*
Reset my stupid landscape to 125. "Some apps won't respond to scaling changes until you sign out." Facebook was like this.
Srsly, @bonenado wouldn't even sleep with me. I had a king sized bed to myself all night long. Oh, he's ok, I burped him back up. He doesn't stay eaten for long. Kinda like having him around. On reflection, I'm sure he doesn't like being eaten and burped back up... I have no emergency backup stuff for pie. Might be a delicate morning.
You. Must. Click. This.
Plan today- Introduce Jawn to the livingroom and work on stuffs while I watch Superbowl (and alt-bowl) live tweets. I've got stuff to make ice cream and nachos, and other Superbowl munchies will include caramelized brussels sprouts and onions with aged balsamic and parm, summer squash, and baked chicken. Life on the edge.
If the morning gets especially awkward and I venture into feeling particularly penitent, I'll probably veer suddenly into cleaning the floors or something. Amazing what a little deep cleaning can do for soul angst.
Ok, now we're just being silly. This next one clicks to a whole slew of weird pet stuff on pinterest.
I wish I could lay down and still get that sipping my coffee experience. I've been kinda thrilled to discover this week that my workout stamina didn't diminish over the holidays just because I wasn't doing them for several weeks. Maybe all the rest did me some good, actually, but the laying around started taking over again, so this week I've been kicking butt with athletic shoes on by 6 a.m. or before and not taking them off for hours. That has been the key to getting back on track. Once those shoes are back off, I'm done.
This is my wallpaper today. Click the pic to snag it bigger in search. I'm afraid it's pretty small at the source.
That's right, I mocked tech nerds yesterday. I should probably mention this was in a home-owned computer store, NOT a franchise, so you know they're the real deal (not forced into a mold by anything Best Buyish), and I'll make up for it by saying the only thing I actually found offputting about one of them was his ill-fitting clothes and the other was his inclination to stare blankly, and that was probably only because I bounced in like a tigger and took over and I think they were caught way off guard. I'm sure the whole deer in the headlights thing was just a genetic survival tactic or something. Like possums. Stuart on Big Bang is more socially adept. Ill-fitting clothes aside, though, they were both actually pretty good looking guys, it was just hard to tell in their natural setting. I hafta remember I myself was atypically dressed in a local print neon yellow running shirt. That might have thrown them off, as well.
Anyway, it was cool that one of them remembered me from last month, and he'd been in the back of the store at the time, if he was even there. Guess it's a big deal when a girl walks in carrying a list of specs and orders an Apache Pro. He said, "You're the one who wants to... do the... thing..." and I finished the sentence for him and he immediately launched into asking what kind of script software I was going to use, and I was all *wo*, these guys actually sat around talking about me after I left. But not a single one of them had heard of the TV show Lexx (I had to actually say it was a scifi show), and then one said, "I don't watch TV", which I totally believed. I'm betting he's got several systems at home and games on the biggest TV monitor he can afford. He probably doesn't have a clue Syfy even exists and that the BBC is paving the way for world sync broadcasting, much less that The Flash has home invaded mainstream America and The Walking Dead has become the live tweet standard around the world. These guys are way deeper in the ground than people who fondly call themselves nerds on twitter, and it's guys like these who are seriously creating world interface. So my mocking is out of love. I could spend a whole day sitting around in that shop bugging them with questions to pull out what's in their heads.
I've been out of my hole in the light too long with you guys. Going back underground and reconnecting with my own people here and there has been delightful. The singular super focus aspect alone has done as much to revitalize my spirits as #COFFEH.
Just for all that, let's do the Ben booty vid as homage to all the super nerds Ben has played. Remember, nerds have butts and junk, too (and some of us have other cool parts), and I plaster pix of my own nerdy guy in his underwear all over Surveypalooza, so bring on the nerd luv. You guys need to get to Friday. NSFW, by the way.
To carry another's pain On top of my own heart sprain Isn't so easy When fun and breezy Is what I'm told to feign
Playing a game that's not fair Is a difficult burden to bear When one is hiding That worlds are colliding And hanging on hope and a prayer
Imagine a soul nearly rent Being the one who is sent To hold up another Who won't even bother To get their own life unbent
Honesty is who I am Faith is the heart of my plan I must do what fate calls Or I'll fail at my clause And die curled up in my own damn
A dragon is born to set fires And leaves behind funeral pyres It can't be a pet To assuage a fret Because soon it comes bursting From terrible thirsting For knowledge beyond And a heart that is fond Of consuming philosophical briars.
I've cried for the last two days. Because dragons do cry.
Some people can sit back and let the world wash over and cry to the stars that life hurts. Others tear open the dungeons that keep our souls from seeing the blazing sun all around us.
Perspective. Or, if you prefer, the allegory of the cave.
Need help recovering from brain melt? I have discovered The Useless Web. Pinky approves the polite pink button. I have not yet been disappointed.
It's the kind of brain melt that feels like you nuked cheese whiz a little too long during a desperate fit for fake nachos (never do that), and everything is just one big sticky glob that's too hot to eat (seriously, never do that), and suddenly cures into a big hardened disk the second it reaches an edible temperature. Once you've reached that point, nothing on God's green earth seems beneath any kind of standard. Your dog wouldn't touch it, but you eat it anyway, not so it won't be wasted, but because you've sunk to the depths of not being able to face starting over again even though better food is just a few steps and 30 seconds away.
Today has had an unreal forever feel about it. Things kind of turn inside out when you've reached the highest number on the pain scale and realize you were duped by the guy who didn't know about unreal numbers when he drew that chart up.
The world gets weird. Yeah, like this, that "I kill wherever I please" line.
If your loved ones get lucky, that's when your brain says "See ya" and goes out to a party, leaving you to stare blankly and maybe slightly drool a little.
Thankfully...
So now I'm looking for music.
Ok, these are my 3 fave useless websites because I stared at them the longest- fave, second fave, third fave (interactive).
And you're welcome for Benedict crawling around on the floor. I know it helps.
One of my all-time fave authors, Madeleine L'Engle wrote a wonderfully done biopic of a minor character turning out to play a major role in her Time Quintet series (I think there are actually 8 books that link together). Calvin O'Keefe's mother, Branwen, was a broken down woman going past middle age, the very picture of the ugly side of how unkind life can be, and easily dismissed as someone of very little consequence. But as we journey with them through A Swiftly Tilting Planet (spoilers coming, but the book is decades old), Calvin's mother is the one who invokes St. Patrick's Rune, which I quote at the end of my A to Z survey. Might show up better in the original post here, but I can't guarantee mobile viewing.
I once tried to list fave authors. All I can confidently settle on is that Madeleine L'Engle, Terry Pratchett, and C.S. Lewis are my top three faves. I've read, owned, and given away everything they've written because I can't help sharing, so, oddly, I have none of their books in my house even though I've spend hundreds on multiple copies. I otherwise have so many more favorite authors that it's ridiculous trying to keep track.
Anyway, me and dragons go way back, as they probably do for most people. My first dragon love was Anne McCaffrey's The White Dragon, given to me by my best friend from school before she was killed. It was the third book in the Dragonriders of Pern series. Like everyone else around me, I like drawing dragons, and I love seeing dragons in TV shows and movies, especially now that CGI is becoming so realistic.
One of my very fave Jackie Chan movies was originally titled Heart of Dragon and the only pre-American Jackie movie I've never owned, otherwise have a complete collection up to The Tuxedo. I have deep respect for Sammo Hung.
The film is unusual in that although featuring Sammo Hung and Lam Ching-ying, two actors famed for their kung fu abilities, neither actually perform any martial arts. Golden Harvest had wanted Hung to perform fight scenes in the film, but he refused, rationalising "My character was mentally retarded, mentally disabled, so how can you ask me to fall down and suddenly become well again? And fight? They knew my fighting skills and wanted me to be part of the action but I thought that would have completely destroyed the tone of the film, the principles behind the film."
If I remember correctly, that movie also has one of the longest uncut action scenes ever filmed. The movie was a bit of a ground breaker at the time, centered around a mentally retarded main character and fairly honest and unabashed about how he was treated at a time when people with disabilities still didn't have very much protection even here in the States. The question over who, exactly, is the dragon never gets answered, making the title seem incongruous with the movie, but I dug through Jackie's biography and everything else I could find (he eventually started keeping video diaries), and I think the title is apt for the intended audience. Anyone can be a dragon. The reviews on Amazon are pretty good, and I guarantee the movie makes way more sense after you read how Jackie grew up in his biography. You can read a faster 99% stripped watered down version for Americans here.
The thing about dragons is that they are world changers. There aren't that many dragons around in the first place, much less those who manage to effect real change without the cushion and comfort of sponsorship, but you've probably met a dragon sometime in your life. You know, someone who stood up when no one else did. Someone who didn't wimp out because things got hard. Someone who hung onto a dream in spite of every bit of it being torn to shreds. Someone who didn't even know they were a dragon.
The dragon at the top of this post is a blind, broken dragon with heavy chains around its neck, and look what it's doing- at the first opportunity that presented, it was ready to GO. That crippled wreck of a dragon ripped through the most spell protected building on the planet like it was tissue paper and took off even though it couldn't even see where it was going, and it happened to be carrying exactly the right people at exactly the right time to exactly the right place to go do exactly the right thing. The dragon isn't a very big part of the story, but without that dragon, the rest of the story wouldn't have happened.
You can be so broken and lost that you think you'll never find a way again and still be the right person at the right time in the right place for the right stuff to happen. You only need to be ready to GO when the opportunity pops up. If you think you can wait until you believe in yourself or until you're in better shape or when it's easier, you'll miss it. Every life we touch is affected by our being here. We create ripples through time.
You're right, I need to get some lunch (it's nearly 2:00) and find a video so I can change brain tracks and work on other things. This has been a mind blowing week for me, a great big touch base kind of week, a looking back and seeing how high up the mountain I've come without realizing it kind of week. I'm excited and happy and exhausted and worn out, not sure how I'm doing it but still hanging on to a bit of crag sticking out and figuring my way up the next bit of scarp. This has been my jam all day. You never know what's going to come out of a big pink dragon egg, lol.
