-Mobile continuation from Xanga blog PinkyGuerrero, this blog is PinkyGuerrero, ongoing continuation at blogs Pinky & Janika & Basically Clueless & PinkFeldspar, in that order.
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-Personal blog for Janika Banks.
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Friday, June 9, 2017

on a complicated fence

On a Disney princess scale, I think Bunny fits this pic the best.
Ok, so I'm beaten at my own game for click bait, it's funny and creepy and totally puts me in the hotseat, so here we go, what is really in my head. #transparency

Forgive me for being so slow, but blogger stats are pretty vague, and it took awhile to even notice at first, then took even longer to filter and decipher into probable wussappenings, and now it's just obvious. 7 simultaneous post hits every 45 minutes.



I'm not on enough to catch clean hits very often, but I got an idea few days ago to check real time response, and the turnaround was so fast on Vivendi (never before linked ANYWHERE) while other posts stayed static over many weeks with only minor changes that I guess just whispering on Pinky blog is a big deal.

I've been pretty open with contemplations, personal beliefs, etc, but I have yet to share my trail of thought winding around how it all fits together in my mind. So here we go.

I've stated before a few times that we got Dish specifically to get the Sci-Fi Channel specifically to get Sliders after Fox dropped the show. On MGM on Dish is where I first saw Stargate SG-1 and Lexx originally air in the U.S. I love both shows. When MGM dropped them, they both slid over to the Sci-Fi Channel, and then Friday Prime was born, adding Farscape to the line up.

I've also written across several blogs how I grew up with a doomsday parent, my dad immersing me in end of world prophecies, UFO and other alt-science theories, numerology, but very staunchly biblical aka anti astrology. He believed in stars lining up, but not in them having personal meaning in our lives kind of thing. Along with that, I was hard core trained in debate, chess, and killing to eat from a very young age. By the time I was 12 I could argue rings around people and skunk nearly anyone on a chess board.

My dad has never felt comfortable with my intense draw to science fiction. I love everything about scifi. One of our most candid disagreements was about finding out Ra and the other gods were real characters in Stargate and how that would poison my mind. My dad is the kind of guy who would drop anything to listen to Billy Graham, and he was been freakishly obsessed with the rapture all his life. It consumes him. I finally vaguely confessed on Pinky blog that I think my dad may have been exposed to a brain training technique at a young age, and I based that largely on his memory as a young boy of being warned by church ministers (in the wheat fields of Kansas) about being grabbed by strange men. Don't follow them! Don't listen to them! Many years later I'm finding documentation of Mennonite men being excellent choices for special ops training because they were broken early as children (obey!) and grew up killing. So... maybe my dad has a point. Maybe his obsessions are because of a real thing. Maybe there are a few secrets locked away in there that will go to the grave with him, because no one can pull them out. It's like he's got an automatic switch that takes over, and then we're talking about the rapture again.

I love Star Trek, and one of my most seen posts is a devotion piece to Jim Kirk. I have loved the idea since I was a kid that there could be a World Federation, and that we could put all our resources together to go do much cooler things. I grew up with the entire franchise and it very strongly impacted my life, especially Mr. Spock. Turns out I'm autism spectrum, and I'm pretty sure that's why he became such a hugely popular character. So many of us either naturally identified with him or knew someone like him in real life.

Back to Vivendi. I was working at Kohl's when Lexx was airing on the Sci-Fi Channel, and Kohl's was among the first in the nation to use a satellite show to advertise a dotcom address. Back then that was HUGE. I noticed it immediately, MY store on MY show and the ability for viewers to hop right on the internet and start shopping while they watched TV.

I'm kind of a weirdo, aspienado apparently uses entertainment specs as an autism train obsession, and back then I looked up what was behind this new idea in sales across digital media. (That just sounds cool to me.) Back then the Sci-Fi Channel, along with Universal and others, were owned by the Vivendi company in France. I was fascinated that the French owned American media. Since then they've branched out into telecommunications and gaming, and it's been truly fascinating to watch this growth. Their history is a very long one, going back to the 1800s and now a worldwide power player in everything we all do, so yeah, kind of a big deal.

Vivendi and Lexx are tied in my mind because of how it rolled out like that. It seems indirect, but it's kind of direct.

I've written reams about Lexx. I own everything Stargate and Farscape and Lexx. I've been called a super fan by a number of people. Other prominent super fans interact with me sometimes on other medias.

Back to my stats. I say some very important and kinda deep things on Pinky blog once in awhile, and regular readers have probably caught on I'm not a typical scifi fan, not a typical Christian, not a typical gut reactor to journalism, not a typical neurodiverse person. I don't focus on any particular thing in my blogging but myself and how things related to me and impact me- basically, the path I took getting here. I'm not here to tell anyone how to live, what to do, or where to get off. The closest I get to that is when I say open your eyes.

The world is the way it is. Lotta different people out there fighting to keep things one way or change things into something else. Lotta big feels about who is bad and wrong and lengthy diatribes about why we're right or whatever. Lotta jumble and mirky water out there. Nothing is clear. People choose their focuses and stick to core beliefs they can't philosophically defend, but that doesn't matter becaus the most important thing is always us vs them and we're right, they're wrong.

What if no one is right, and no one is wrong.

What if we're all right, and we're all wrong.

What if the only way we can resolve any of that is to put ALL our brains together.

Mass media is already working on this. World sync and brain training are already happening. Seeing all the things and knowing each other is possible on a scale never before seen in human history. Beneath all the stories in entertainment is a common theme- commit to your people, focus on survival, forgive and love your own, and even join up with the perceived enemy, because the enemy turns out to be just like you, just stuck in a different situation.

There are groups on this planet doing their best to stop this from developing into- what? Human dignity on a world scale? World commerce that easily feeds all the people on the planet? Ease and comfort and health care and education support for everyone? Happiness?

Religious and political wars have been going on continuously time out of mind. Some say this is our natural state. I beg to differ. I'll agree that it's a natural human thing to need to fight to develop and survive, and that first world ennui might have something to do with no longer seeing real blood in our lives, yeah. But that's a superficial answer. The deeper answer to Who am I and Why am I here is How do I belong?

I'm not here to advertise or advocate for a group. Pinky blog isn't not paid or compensated in any way for link sharing. I personally don't endorse ANY decision without deep thought and discussion with loved ones, and I very strongly reiterate to keep reaching out if you need help. Keep talking. All of us need to keep being and doing and talking. No more secrets. Be the person you were born to be.

I have no feelings for or against Illuminati. I grew up with that word because of my dad. A lot of people fear that word, blow it off as a joke or conspiracy, or feel drawn to it like moths. Whatever. All I know is that it's been a part of my life since I was born, even though I'm not a member and I don't personally know of anyone who is. However, now that they have officially come out with websites, my stance on it is that it's a brilliant new way to moralize the church/state conundrum without political and religious affiliation. Modern Machiavelli. And if Vivendi is part of this plan, then you are already part of it too as a digital media consumer.

I've alluded to growing pains on our way to a better world. I see the conflicts in opinions and approach around the world as growing pains. I believe this is going to happen no matter what, it's been happening for a very long time already anyway, and you either get on board with this is just the way the world is going or die a bitter death complaining about everything around you. I don't condone, nor do I look away. It simply is.

The world becoming a better place on our personal level is about US. Who are we right now? What are we choosing to do with each day? How are we treating one another? Are we spreading negativity or love? Are we growing or wilting? Focusing on ourselves is the best way I can see to make the world a better place. Worrying about things we cannot control from where we sit only adds to the frustration and chaos.

I choose to focus on Pinky. Pinky loves scifi and fantasy entertainment. Pinky loves the stories.