-Mobile continuation from Xanga blog PinkyGuerrero, this blog is PinkyGuerrero, ongoing continuation at blogs Pinky & Janika & Basically Clueless & PinkFeldspar, in that order.
-Most of the graphics and vids click to sources.
-Personal blog for Janika Banks.
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Showing posts with label Aqua. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Aqua. Show all posts

Monday, January 18, 2016

that slutty mistress, Twitter

It's a mean street, and you either learn some savvy or get lost in the shuffle. It's mostly a neon glitz, cruising traffic and crowds milling sidewalks in front of dark buildings.


I once compared bloggers to the Sun City of the internet. Facebook would be the burbs, forums are like gyms, community centers, and coffee shops. Strip malls abound, of course, with a million little shops through Etsy and Cafe Press and Red Bubble, and internet magazines are like convention floors you just mill through gawking at all the things. I could keep breaking it down, but you all know these things.

Twitter is a glorious street mess that feels like under the table swaps and deals. It feels like getting ripped off and walked on but too glammy to walk away from. It bedazzles when you avoid getting caught in the alleys, or even pulled into the buildings you never meant to go near in the first place.


I dumped most of my lists. They were pretty awesome at first, a way to keep track of an overload of hop ons organically building numbers via legit follow backs, and then who.unfollowed.me helped keep track of drop offs, and over time it got ridiculous because the hardcore follows weren't accounts I cared to follow back but did anyway to retain my own numbers, and before too long my account became associated with South American politics, Arab bots, European travel bloggers, drug and porn accounts, and slews of filmmakers and musicians and authors crawling up that human ladder without regard to whose shoulders and even faces they step on doing it, and finally, the underbelly of actual human trafficking. Don't even ask. People become markers along a highway they don't even know they're on, but I do know, and because I dabbled just to see who watches, I quickly became marked for passing on questionable merch of every conceivable kind. I stopped the follow back game months ago because it became so incredibly obvious.

Merch is your key to knowing what's really going on in the world. Surface politics are just a distraction. Taking sides and drawing boundaries have a way of backfiring, and I don't mean painting big targets. The most famous faces will say things for cheers while they hand off under tables, and the only difference between them and us sort of regular people is they use their faces to play the game deeper and harder than most of us realize is even possible.


All that aside for now- I'm simply swamped and needing to get my own direction back. Other people clamoring for attention and growing numbers is their own thing, it's not mine. I've never been about winning the numbers. I know how it looks sometimes, I talk numbers a lot. Numbers are just a way to keep track of trending, and trending is what tells me I'm reaching the people I want to reach. I don't need thousands of followers ignoring me to make this happen, so I made the decision to start trimming.

I'd been sorting into lists and ignoring my raw feed for so long that I didn't realize just how bad it's gotten. It's only fair to follow back, and if they hang on, I do too, out of politeness. Once in awhile I have to remove someone from a list feed when they go down a porn or spam hole, but that is out of consideration for list subs. Anyone following me to get a business listing pointing to luxury food around the world, for example, probably doesn't want an eyeful of butt next to their food pix coming through my list. But now that lists are gone and I'm scrolling through raw feed again, I'm discovering how many truly sucky accounts flood the twitters with absolute crap. After some reflection, I concluded the time I invested in sorting feeds out of politeness was a ridiculous waste, albeit an excellent lesson learned. Turns out I'm pretty awesome at filtering, but hey, not getting paid for it.


Follow backs aren't binding. Twitter handshakes mean nothing more than I'm giving someone else the right to attach my account to their trash. I don't care who you are out there, if your crap burns my eyes, you're gone. I have followers I don't care for that I keep because they actually care about me as a person and I have come to care back for them as people, so I glance past the continual junk. Sadly, I also have followers who don't give a crap about who I am and what I'm doing, and I'm done glancing past miles of pushpushpush that merch/ideology. Most of my followers followed me first. I didn't go out looking. I've got some pretty sweet followers, but if I listed the legit followers I've dumped for simply being irritating, some of you would fall over.

I. do. not. care. who. you. are. If you are crap, I'm not following back any more. If all you can do is dump and froth and spam and completely ignore my existence after the follow, see ya. I've got real places to go, real people to meet, real things to say.


I don't play those games like on facebook where people say "pipe up if you don't want me to unfollow". Anyone can see I don't play the follow game on facebook. Following isn't required to see what I'm doing. People don't have to mark themselves to me, I don't need to know the names behind who's watching and clicking. That's not how I win games. I'm out there, I'm established, and the right people are finding me. I'll do favors for real friends, and my real friends know that. Some of the hashtaggers know that. I'm an above the table swapper. If you've got a tomato on a table and I like it, I'll pick it up and retweet it. Doesn't mean you owe me anything. No more games on twitter. You either legitimately like Lexx or Pinky blog or whatever else I'm doing, really do care what's going on and maybe about to happen and what I'll share next, or you don't.

I'll be trimming pretty slowly over time. I truly appreciate the solid followers I've had around the world in big business, entire corporate boardroom in another country followed me at one point, but we all know we don't read each other's tweets and that the only reason that happened was a twitter handshake to make numbers happen for each other. You don't really need me, I don't really need you. But it was still pretty cool and I'll never forget it.

Laterz.



Oh wait, something more fun. Here we go.

Sunday, November 15, 2015

let's talk options while my twitchy eye holds the bazooka

This is a writing prompt to help me focus in between doing stuffs. It's actually helping. Now go away.

Took a couple of months of conscious effort to stop chewing my lips up while I work, which I've done for many years and I'm surprised I have lips left at all. I'm noticing this week after a long lipcation that I'm doing it again, rather mercilessly. Then waking up to already doing pressure points on the back of my skull in my sleep, it's probably time to admit I'm having a headache.


So I quickly review the pros and cons of powering through- extra meds or no? Bunny never did come over yesterday, but she's definitely coming today, so, extra meds. I have a super limited selection. Super. Limited. Made the executive decision to increase my morning xanax dose by a quarter pill. (That is huge in my world.) My left eyelid twitched madly in agreement. Nerve flare across my face would look like awesome galaxy colored wallpaper if it were an art form. Too bad we can't set our faces to screensaver wallpaper. Everyone going with galaxy hair, yeah, I'm totally on galaxy face...

yes of course, click for awesome
And before anyone rises up with protracted withdrawal probs, I'm the queen of benzo addiction and withdrawing (my doctor laughs, my psychiatrist doesn't) and I know, K? Iz my thang, yo. Anyway, so that raises my morning dose to .1875 (I hear laughing across the fruited plain) (I know, right, not even a whole .25 tab). Unless you've been through actual DTs and real protracted withdrawal, you have no idea how good this will feel. Spiking it with a teaspoon of 41% real vanilla in my hot chocolate protein drink is heaven. (I hear more laughing. You guys will laugh when your livers swell up, I'm telling ya.)


Next option, if things still go out of control later today, will be a 7.5 mobic, and that actually doesn't touch the pain, just tones down the yelling a little for awhile. That is the only thing left I can do unless I get desperate enough to risk another reaction on another med I haven't tried yet after being a guinea pig for 2 decades. Anyway, if I take it every day I get the crazy watery auras across everything I look at. That's bad, something about high blood pressure and optic nerve involvement. If I wind up on pred because another out of the blue reaction on top of auras, we're talking defcon dizzy and that's super bad. You don't play around with brains like that when you're autoimmune. That means at ~*most*~ I take it every other day, and I try to hold it down to every 3-4 days. Yes, iz my only pain med option at this point. You people who can toss back pain pills, thank your deities and mother earth you have it so good. You people who keep bringing up medical marijuana- 1- I said I had a reaction (yes, people can be allergic to cannibas), and 2- that's still not a thing in Missouri. We grow it here. I.l.l.e.g.a.l.l.y. For you guys. I know things about the 'medical marijuana' *cough*industry*cough* that you hipsters don't wanna know. Yeah, I know some of you get regulated organic, isn't that sweet. You other dweebs suggesting street drugs to me in DMs, #btchplz. I like having what health I've scraped back together, so back off. This isn't funny to me any more. If you're still using those to cope, you haven't hit the ultra rock bottom I have.

I know, right, what is this doing in a 'bitch please' search
click to find out. or don't, I don't care
I told you to go away
The goal is to feel more comfortable feeling every bony structure in my skull and face. Many times through the years I have pondered how weird it is to feel like the real me is a walking skeleton, and especially to envision my face as just a skull, because every muscle ligament and tendon attachment to anything bony is an inflammation point. I've lived my entire adult life very aware of my skeleton. I used to feel freaked out about how people love skeleton art, because I felt so weird feeling like a skull looking around at everyone. Can people not see I am a walking talking skull? Because I sure feel like I am.

click. go get lost. run free. you're welcome.
Terry Pratchett helped a lot with embracing my skeleton as part of the whole me experience. One of my fave characters is Death, not because he's spooky or mystical or whatever, but because he has problems. He's just this non-corporeal anthropomorphized local event phenomenon wrestling with being audited, losing his job, and staying on top of an aspie-like obsession with cataloging and organizing timers going off. CAN YOU IMAGINE IF HE BLOGGED? Haha. You have to read the books to get that.

you foodies realize you can do stuff with colored sugar and funnels, right?
I've played....
Meanwhile, @bonenado comes back in for breakfast and several deer magically show up in the yard. He's trying to get pix. They're like teenagers, little nubs where antlers go. This is the best one I got. You can see a butt on the left and a head popping up just over the deck railing. That's the neighbor's garden.


My thoughts on the France attacks (good article) since I've been asked by several people sprinkled around the world- I think we will eventually reluctantly wind up in a world war over whether religious and political beliefs can continue to target innocents, which means new world order with world citizenry and all the nations agreeing to uphold laws already put in place by the United Nations. (Some countries adamantly resist in order to retain autonomy and control over their citizens, including the right to torture, kill, and even retain legal slavery.) I could be wrong, yes, but if I'm right, it will be the first war in world history that is about actual human rights and not assets and boundaries. It will end with the world agreeing on basic human rights. Those who are afraid of political and religious tethering and perceived loss of particular freedoms (the U.S. is not alone in this) will continue to enjoy shopping and traveling. I'm not looking forward to the war part, but I do hold high hopes for a future (however distant) of the human race becoming better. A few might think this is a belief system sellout, it is not. It is stepping off the dizzy merry-go-round of fear. I believe fear is a tool, and keeping people fearful via belief systems holds them hostage. This is not a social phenomenon created by a deity, but by a pyramid power structure. It's been going on for nearly 3000 years, and it's time we stop being duped by the process and look at how we're all going to survive each other. And, for those of you into conspiracy theories, sure why not, the militants trying to usher in the end of the world are in league with the antichrist, and we are in the age where the whole world will witness according to Revelations because of internet yada yada blahblahblah. Living at that level of hyper readiness all my life has burned me out pretty badly. ALL. MY. LIFE. Letting fear saturate 'beliefs' to the point of nonstop anxiety is only playing us into big pharm, so cut it out. Enjoy the moments, guys. Remember, holographic universe, gaming system, we're just a buncha avatars going through motions, and we are the ones who beget meaning in our own lives. Find your meaning.


If I can say all that calmly with a fairly rough headache, y'all can, too. Calm down, stop the bipolar yelling for simultaneous #killallthe____ and #faithinhumanityrestored and take a chill pill. They're working on it, ok? Takes a little patience to figure big probs out.


Nearly breaking the coffee pot because carpal tunnel brings the world back into focus, right? Whew, nearly had to run to Walmart for a new carafe.

clicks to cute 'Momnesia' blog
Also, if I have an enemy somewhere out there poking pins in my effigy and wishing plagues upon me, I'm seriously done with the ladybugs, you can stop now. Send the ladybugs to the terrorists.


This one is my fave. I can't get a click through, maybe you'll have better luck if you click on the ladybug meme collection pic up there.


NOT A COASTER. >=l


We're getting ready for a Bunny. See ya.

Saturday, September 5, 2015

#Shezzaday 2


Website Countdowns


Click everything you can in this post.

Everything we know so far about the ‘Sherlock’ Christmas special








Oldie but goodie.


The good old days fun while we twiddle our thumbs.


And because waiting so long makes us silly.



Monday, September 22, 2014

autumn barbie

50 chilly degrees at my house this morning! Looks like that's a thing all week. The chart clicks to intellicast.com.


This is the most nearly black I've been drinking my coffee in my whole life. A week and a half of that isn't making me any fonder of it at all. I'm not adapting. I've been drinking coffee-milk since I was a child, and black coffee just isn't a pleasant morning beverage to me. I'm mostly needing to severely restrict carbs while I'm on prednisone, so this is temporary for about another week. I must be honest and say this is still better than the year I had to cut coffee out completely. I've had to cut many things out of my life, but coffee is one I've been able to allow back in over and over without terrible consequences, thank goodness. You'd think my coffee board on pinterest would be brimming over with luv, but I'm super lazy about pinterest. I really need to catch that up this week.

Follow Janika Banks's board Coffee on Pinterest.


I miss a LOT of stuff. This year I'm missing my dad's 85th birthday, and I just missed a wedding, because I'm on a big load of prednisone. I've been so sick for months in the past with stuff that knocks other people down for only a few days or a week that I don't dare get out and mingle on this stuff. Just wanna say to everyone who complains about social media blitzes and selfies and food pix and whatevs on friend and family sites- shut up. There are so many more of us who lurk through that are so grateful there is a way to 'be there' with people now. We live in a golden age, and I embrace it. Life can be very beautiful, but we've got to want to see it.


Time to pull my day together with a Plan. I split-shifted my sleep last night, conked before 8 pm and slept 4 hours, then got up and worked for 3 hours, then conked for another 4 hours. That's the most sleep I've gotten in one 24 hour period in ages. I've got a little burrito recovery to do with the house, get food organized for meals this week, get a birthday box off to my dad, and keep grinding through this neverending file transfer project.


I haven't been putting vids up on posts lately because I've been keeping the house really quiet. My ears have been ringing like crazy on this prednisone and listening to music has been feeling like work because of it. However, this song is on my brain and I'm enjoying listening to it, so maybe I'm about past the weird stuff. Despite a couple of almost nasty mood swings last couple days (poor Scott, bless his heart), this is the best I've ever felt on a prednisone taper, and this cool autumny sunshine is perfect today. Time to git bizzy.