remembering my blogwhore roots

My klout score literally nosedived on the 22nd and is now the lowest it's been in ages. I know exactly why, too. I say that like it was huge, basically went from 60 to 58 after months of coasting. It was almost like I found my true negative factor, plugged it in and repelled people, and it all pointed to youtube. My Webmii score reflected that, too, although it's really interesting that the score goes up if my web presence search parameters are international, and then it has nothing to do with klout's final say. But basically, I diverted from my usual entertainment distractions, and I'll be honest, I didn't like myself doing that, either.

I hadn't checked impressions from keywords in awhile. I've been wondering what is the weirdest search parameters my blog has been lumped into, so I'm throwing darts at 141 pages of keyword searches and stopped in my tracks at something in Russian that translates to "riyet duck buy in kiev". Really, guys? Oh, yeah, my about page has a Darkwing Duck motif. But then another Russian search phrase translated to "amazing lightness", so I guess I have seriously breached Google around the globe. I seem to get a lot of Korean search referrals outside of my GWT list, and at least 7 different languages are represented in my top ten all time visitors. Top referring site is google.com, top referring URL is facebook.com. Basically, google pushes me out there, and facebook pulls people inward. I get instant hits from at least 4 different countries within seconds of sharing links to facebook, and another 2-3 countries within 5 minutes of sharing to twitter, depending on how I set up the tweet with hashtags and graphics cards. Internal tags and keywords do that rest. Statcounter says Pinky blog has been visited by 91 countries. I never dreamed this one would pull in traffic at all. I mean, it's not crazy or anything, but it's interesting watching where those hits come from around the world, because it's a difficult and therefore meaningful search.

But apparently more importantly, I come up on Google's 4th page for "allergic to ragweed", which is pretty outstanding, given how vague that is, 5th page for "desperate popstars", which is actually a little scary, and page ONE for "flowers for algernon book", like literally no one else talks about it or something, I dunno. Actually, I come up on page one for nearly 2 1/2 statcounter pages of google search phrases. "blue halloween" is my golden ticket with the most impressions (hundreds), "dr. evil leo" a close second, then "spock handshake", "rick lagina images", and "bird splat". Sorry, Benedict. *crickets* (Bird splat???) (I'm on a top ten google search for BIRD SPLAT.) (Sorry, that's just not sinking in.)


Sometimes I get these weird thoughts, like how I'm trying to fit in a causative universe, and then I wonder how in the world I even got that idea, like what does that even mean when I can't even imagine a noncausative universe. Rhyme and reason, me pushing google around and it pushing back. It wants to rate content, I litter content for it to rate. My existence is measured and found wanting during a fail week, and being human is rewarded with being quickly forgotten in a machinistic inclined society. To step beyond a tree falling in the woods, this brownie literally doesn't exist unless I talk about it somewhere. I'm eating a brownie. Now it can exist.

Probably the singlemost influencing fanvid of my entire blogging life.

love letter from a #blogwhore

I don't know how to begin this post, so here comes the cannonball. Well, I was looking for belly flop memes and ran into this, so let's just all facepalm together and then move on. Some of you people are sick, you know that, right?

I keep saying Pinky blog broke me open like a pinata last April and I couldn't stop all that pretty candy flying out in slo-mo like beautiful gems, and I've been going around ever since collecting them back up and finally putting the pieces of myself where they belong. It's a puzzle, to be sure. This whole blog is one big Pinky puzzle. But at least I know now why I've been a mess.

I realized about a month ago that during this process, Pinky blog had become a love letter. Hold on, what the crap is up with this belly button fascination? >=l

I may look like the trailblazer here on Pinky blog, but I'm the sidekick. I'm like R2 to C3PO, the one who plugs in and follows around and fusses a lot, only no one ever really knows what I'm saying. I'm sure it's hard for people to see that because I have an uber aggressive personality, but I think a lot of that is aspienado still figuring things out. I'm slow. I need lots of help interfacing.

I'm also the one who has a problem saying what I really feel. I'm so sorry I couldn't talk about it. There was so much I never shared, and I'm sorry I wasn't real to the one person who was real to me. Aspienado is so ridiculously and utterly aspie. And annoying...

I cracked open and tried to move on, but therein lies the #bencongruity- I'm no longer a sidekick, but back in a world of masks.

There was One. One person got me. One person knew how to let me plug in. One person challenged me to be bigger, better, MOAR. One person dared me to keep up, just like one other person long ago did before a monster took her away.


I've reached a place where I know I can move on now, but I probably never will. However, I do know I need to stop dragging this out on Pinky blog (and elsewhere) and GET BACK TO WORK!! FOCUS!!! >=l

Just wanted to say I meant every word, and especially these-

Love, Pinky

Those of you who are now scarred for life may wobble away all weirded out. You're welcome.

p.s.

p.p.s.

p.p.p.s.

p.p.p.p..s.

my Klout pimp says I'm not whoring enough

I hadn't visited Klout in awhile and boy howdy, was that ever a surprise. After nearly two years of hovering around the 60-64 range (and sometimes higher), I find I've dropped to 59 and have an admonition awaiting me about not blogging enough, even though I'm leading the twitter pack in the point-one percentile. I'm in the tippy top of the top 1% of blogging "experts" (according to Klout), and I'm not blogging enough.

And I'm apparently an expert in several dubious fields, including Batman (eat that) and Benedict himself. If Klout knows so much about me and Benedict, why doesn't it know about my *cough*prolific*cough* blogging, even though I've got my blogger connected??? #bencongruity

I think Klout is punishing me for not claiming any of my perks this year (I should sell perks) and not playing the game. I've apparently been bumped from my bottom bitch status.

So I guess I'm going to dig in there and learn the new game rules and see what the crap it takes to get my 64 back. I'm actually in high number Klout lists on twitter. I have a reputation to keep up.

I really do have a post called #blogwhore, but it had more to do with my months-long angsting over an old friendship on a public blog than blogging. If you are stuck and needing a good long story to get you through an even longer week, start here and piece together my ragged past along with me. In the meantime, I might look into Klout's tweet scheduling and start hyping my own content.

#blogwhore

Stop, don't click that cup! Ok, you can click it, but I can't guarantee it's not some kind of weird eye trap keeping you mesmerized while it turns tricks with your device. I'm serious, that's exactly where the cup clicks to.

Well, I found out what the deal is. I was right, zipping right back into the hyperthyroid nethersphere at a point-two-one. I've been down to point-oh-one before, biggest thing I have to watch out for is arrhythmias. See my little dot going below the line there.

I really did go there earlier today. I stooped. I promised myself I'd never again play that game, and I spilled. I'm proud of myself for not caving all the way and making a pan of brownies, though. And sobbing her name into brownie batter. I'm just... sigh Tomorrow is another day.

this is me not fighting on Reddit

yesterday

So I'm coming out of a negative spoon slug haze waking up from #napclub after going to an appointment and running errands and doing my grocery shopping in 104 heat index and the very first thought that hit my brain was someone on Reddit called me a blog spammer last week, because I posted *a* link.

Here is my comeback, because it takes aspienado forever to process, interpret, and respond- It's blog*whore*, nidiot. No upvotes for you!

Now I want the mug.

today

Was I complaining about sleeping too much? +_+ Kinda want that back... 3 a.m. feels way too early on a day where we might be up till nearly midnight with a very hyper birthday Bunny.

I am loving all these new adult coloring books. First The Bloggess announced hers, and it's really awesome, and now Lisa Frank. I don't care what anyone says about 2016 being awful, this is the year of the really cool coloring books. Plus the ones we already got from sploit!!! Latest one Lord of the Rings for @bonenado's birthday on Sunday. He also got a time machine...

I'm losing track, but we are good for coloring books. I may need those to get me through the holiday season without cracking this year. Oh, and let's not forget the new Harry Potter book.

I've decided I'm making a small pan of brownies today. I'll have cake around me all weekend and a single serve nacho binge won't feel like retribution. In case you're new, I'm allergic to wheat (yes, actually, among other things), and even though I've gone 5 years now without guacamole and lemon pie and nuts or peanuts of any kind and at least 2 years since I had to let go of pasta and pizza and sandwiches, it's still a little difficult being around cake. Nothing else bothers me. I can waltz through a restaurant and never once feel phased or envious, and I very rarely mourn or wallow about not getting to eat an old favorite something when I'm grocery shopping, but this weekend I may need to buckle under and allow a rice flour chocolate treat so meemaw won't get crabby and go to the dark side. Besides, it's easy to portion out and calorie count brownies. I'm really good with it and I trust myself.

Btw, I use Hershey's 'best brownies' recipe from their Chocolate Treasury cookbook (1989), and seriously, everyone says it turns out better with King Arthur gluten free flour than regular flour, more fudgey with a crusty top, and no worries about xantham gum, those other flours don't work right.

Since that recipe is different from the other 'best brownies' recipes they have online, I'll write it down here.

Blend 1/2 c oil or melted butter (I use olive oil), 1 c sugar, and 1 tsp vanilla. Add 2 eggs, blend well (I use a spoon, works just fine). Combine 1/2 c flour, 1/3 c cocoa, 1/4 tsp baking powder, and 1/4 tsp salt, blend into egg mixture.

Bake at 350 in 9-inch square pan for 20 minutes.

Rice flours generally don't work well for me in baked goods, so I've pretty much stopped baking sweets at all (which makes controlling my diabetes way easier), but that brownie recipe is a great fallback for just in case.

Heat advisory has been ramped up to excessive heat warning, 110 heat index through Sunday. After today, I don't plan on leaving the house at all. I've gotta pick up Bunny's cake around 10 and then pick her up around noonish maybe. Papa will be the one taking her up to the pool and swinging outside and stuff. I'm sure they'll melt. I have a freezer full of freezy pops and a big bag of ice cold grapes, plus we already have some homemade ice cream. The recipe for that is super easy, especially if you've got an electric freezer.

Stir together 1/2 pint whipping cream, 2 cans evaporated milk, 1 c sugar, 1 tsp vanilla, and then I crush in one strip of oreo Double Stuf cookies, follow the directions on the electric freezer, then pour off into little containers and put into your freezer.

My side of a convo with Kai yesterday about Austin Powers, my pegasus on minecraft.

Chenopods are finally noted on pollen.com for my area. That's thistle. Lotta thistle around here.

OH, I need some Benspiration this morning. Yes, ~blogwhore~.

on the brink of full spacecat

click to download gigantic

Today got unbelievably hard. Didn't realize how fast I was going down, first hint was a phone call about missing an appointment. ??? Yeah, between two calendars and a planner, that's not a good sign. A little later was the fumbling around until I could barely get my arms to work at all. By 11:30 I was clearly nonfunctional and could barely even spell. Spent the afternoon getting through the kind of overwhelming sickening pain level where you just wanna throw up or go unconscious, and there is absolutely nothing you can take or do to alleviate any of it.

And all through that I watched this happen. (Yes, it keeps climbing as I write this post.)

I know, right? Makes this morning's thing about the other tweet thing kinda funny now.

Normally I get anywhere from 20-70 impressions on regular tweeting, sometimes over 100 on a hashtag day or if a get a couple retweets, maybe near 200 if Holly retweets me. My highest impressions generally range 1100-1500 over a couple of weeks or a month. I very rarely see ANY tweet of mine take out a top 7-day in a few hours flat, and this one even shoved into top 5 for the last 28 days.

I was just stunned watching this happen out of the blue.

I'm sorta pulling through the worst part now, and no fever, huzzah! This means I'm probably still in the autoimmune clear and it's probably just a super aspie-spoonie shutdown from all the neuro reverb after PT yesterday. I can use my hands again. They keep telling me how bad this is and using words like 'severe', but I'm so used to pushing through whatever pain I feel that going into actual physical shutdown is hellishly depressing. And then watching that tweet exposure go crazy like that caught me off guard and I kinda lost it for awhile.

People come and go off the twitters. Some of the spoonies check in, some don't. Some go visibly missing from regular interaction on hashtag games or other stuff and never make a peep until they pop back out for a day or two maybe a month or so later, leaving friends to wonder if the real life stuff they don't elaborate on finally took them out. It's really hard to watch people go MIA, especially around holidays.

I can barely hold my phone the last few days, so I'm not tweeting a lot, but as long as I can keep my fingers moving while I rest my arms on a keyboard, I'll always be on a blog. I'm not sure what drives me to hang on, but there is something about a glowing monitor in the dark that comforts me like nothing else.

I may not get a lot of public visible response or interaction, but this week very clearly lurker spiked in all directions, and my people are about to get serious. Several have checked in with me and touched base already, and it felt so good to talk to people again who really KNOW me and the fandom.

2016 is going to be really challenging, and I'm going to do everything I can to stay healthy and keep up. Walking Dead picks back up in a couple months and I intend to keep live tweet reviewing, and I'll be Lexxing all year because of the Lexx 20th anniversary. The new Star Trek movie will be coming out next summer, definitely wanna be ready for that.

@bonenado has asked if I can handle a theater for the Star Wars movie this month, and I said sure, I'll go in stoned on xanax and wear my sunglasses and ear plugs if I have to, but there is no way I'll be functionally coherent enough to do anything like drive for maybe 24 hours afterward, and not because of the xanax but because I'll be in solid aspienado shutdown. If today is any indication how the rest of Christmas will go, I'm on the brink of full spacecat. Funny that it's happening to the day again, according to timehop.

Anyway, I am moved and touched and even went into a weepy little meltdown for a few minutes earlier this afternoon because it was so unexpected and Lexxquisitely timed. Some of you are looking for lost mates the same way I am, wondering where they are now, how are they doing, and all I can keep saying when I'm asked directly is that I can see some of their locations still showing up on lurker maps, so they must be doing all right. Even those of us that scattered got close in spite of ourselves, and we'll never stop caring about each other. Imagine Janika dealing with other people's feels while Pinky is still steeped in all the feels from the #blogwhore love letter stuff. So many feels.

I love all you guys.