love letter from a #blogwhore

I don't know how to begin this post, so here comes the cannonball. Well, I was looking for belly flop memes and ran into this, so let's just all facepalm together and then move on. Some of you people are sick, you know that, right?

I keep saying Pinky blog broke me open like a pinata last April and I couldn't stop all that pretty candy flying out in slo-mo like beautiful gems, and I've been going around ever since collecting them back up and finally putting the pieces of myself where they belong. It's a puzzle, to be sure. This whole blog is one big Pinky puzzle. But at least I know now why I've been a mess.

I realized about a month ago that during this process, Pinky blog had become a love letter. Hold on, what the crap is up with this belly button fascination? >=l

I may look like the trailblazer here on Pinky blog, but I'm the sidekick. I'm like R2 to C3PO, the one who plugs in and follows around and fusses a lot, only no one ever really knows what I'm saying. I'm sure it's hard for people to see that because I have an uber aggressive personality, but I think a lot of that is aspienado still figuring things out. I'm slow. I need lots of help interfacing.

I'm also the one who has a problem saying what I really feel. I'm so sorry I couldn't talk about it. There was so much I never shared, and I'm sorry I wasn't real to the one person who was real to me. Aspienado is so ridiculously and utterly aspie. And annoying...

I cracked open and tried to move on, but therein lies the #bencongruity- I'm no longer a sidekick, but back in a world of masks.

There was One. One person got me. One person knew how to let me plug in. One person challenged me to be bigger, better, MOAR. One person dared me to keep up, just like one other person long ago did before a monster took her away.


I've reached a place where I know I can move on now, but I probably never will. However, I do know I need to stop dragging this out on Pinky blog (and elsewhere) and GET BACK TO WORK!! FOCUS!!! >=l

Just wanted to say I meant every word, and especially these-

Love, Pinky

Those of you who are now scarred for life may wobble away all weirded out. You're welcome.

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