-Mobile continuation from Xanga blog PinkyGuerrero
-Most of the graphics and vids click to sources.
-Personal blog for Janika Banks.
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Friday, October 2, 2015

Wanna see some more?

One of those days where I'm flying so fast that I'm warping spacetime hitting all the wrong buttons. This one is just above my blogger bookmark. The only time I ever glance at it is when I crash and skid through my bookmarks. Crashing is what I DO. But when I see it I remember why I'm back.

I used to actually jump into debates like these, long ago and far, far away. Click the pic for a fascinating and exhaustive discussion that rivals Galaxy Quest level fan obsession.

I have a couple of awesome lurkers who made sure I was ok over this last week. I hit that wall again, but you know what? I crashed it. That wall is down now. It took 6 months, and during those months my view count doubled on one month, then tripled the next month, and next thing you know my total view count completely doubled again over 4 months. I have to be on the right track. Even if I wasn't I'd still play, but this...

It would be so easy to quit. I could call this my healing process and say I've arrived where I need to be and let the rest go. It's so tempting on hard days. If I'd never told anyone what I was really up to, I could do that and no one would be any wiser. But I wanna break the world. I would always wonder if I could have done it.

So I'm getting ready to leap another precipice. How far can I take this? How far can I push this? The people who know what I'm doing dare to keep pushing me back out to jump in front of the buses, always right when I need it most.

Pinky and lurkers irl. (The person who made this vid obviously feels the same way about her people.)

Oh, God, yes.

I've got one of those headaches you get from crying for two straight days (I have finally truly grieved). Four years ago this new bit of info would have nearly destroyed me. Two years ago would have at least landed me on head meds. Now? I hulked out and crashed through my own wall. The exhilaration I'm feeling is exhilarating. And now I have a new Lexx word to play with- Lexxhilarating.

My heart can beat with bricks and strings. #PinkyRobot

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