-Mobile continuation from Xanga blog PinkyGuerrero
-Most of the graphics and vids click to sources.
-Personal blog for Janika Banks.
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Thursday, October 29, 2015

still thinking through my next Lexxperience post

Yes, we all know I have an evil villain thing. My biggest obsession over them is that they all make drastic mistakes. That doesn't mean I can't love them and learn from them, though.

Unreciprocated love is all good if you still win the game.

Using people is all good as long as you enjoy them.

Your ringtone mirroring your psychosis is all good as long as someone gets it. (It's cool if you have to spell it out anyway, as long as you win the psychosis game.)

Putting all that together into finesse is just plain all good.

Brilliant game playing needs to be appreciated. That is the flaw. I can't tell you how many times I've yelled JUST KILL HIM at my TV. No, they always have to stop and explain what they're doing. See, it's not actual winning that they want. I mean, yes, they want to win, obviously, and they are powerfully motivated to do so. It's just that something else sneaks in and next thing you know, they're self sabotaging with all this talky stuff.

Real evil doesn't waste time talking. And it certainly won't stand there politely listening until you're finished making complete sentences.

Winning the game is useless if no one is left to listen to you when it's over. Or love you. Or admire your skillz. Winning is hollow and sad and empty after all the sparkles have been used up getting there.

That's why I am a loser. And I'm going to lose really really big.

On a side note, I was wondering why the heck I couldn't find a big bottle of real vanilla anywhere. This is a big deal because vanilla is the second most expensive spice in the world, and my very favorite. I've been known to pay $2 and more per ounce for the real stuff. Guess what- a 4 ounce bottle in my local Price Cutter is just under $10 now. It's nearly $3 an ounce right now at Walmart.

click to shop
You can check out price comparisons if you're interested. Yes this is laughably out of stock now, but it helps one appreciate what I'm talking about. ALL the big bottles are gone.

This says out of stock on one page but not on another. I've actually paid more for this stuff.

So. I'm buying store brand real vanilla because even though I'm super picky, I can't bring myself to hand over $5 for a tiny bottle (a few drops, if you think about it) of anything else. I'm sure I'll cave when this little bottle runs out because vanilla is one of the rare food pleasures I have left. I can still taste it properly (nerve damage) and I'm not allergic to it. (Hope I didn't just jinx myself.)

Vanilla is the kind of product that requires a hierarchy of evil villains to bring access to my area. (Well, according to some people, capitalists are evil villains, which I kind of embrace, and I'm sure there are a few despicable people/aspects to the whole industry.) The reason Walmart and Price Cutter are good is because it means I don't have to buy black market vanilla.

Yes, I'm spiraling down rabbit holes this morning. Nothing is organizing my thoughts beyond mild obsessions. Just worn out, I guess. I'm booked up in PT right up till Thanksgiving, so lots of running to town kind of stuff. I don't do sitting in cars well or lots of driving well. I commuted for so many years to college and work, 3 of those years were 60 miles one way. It's just not good when I go on autopilot while I'm thinking nowadays, I have to make myself pay more attention.

I'm struggling with evil villains. They're becoming too fashionable. Plus they've been so cuted up the last few years. Everyone loves a good villain, right? Actually, the whole point to being a villain is that no one loves you at all. Or if they do it's out of pure fear or their own psychotic weirdness, like the way Vigl loves Mantrid. Blurring the lines for family entertainment only creates a cushioned illusion for those not yet tainted with abuses in all their dark glories.

If that user or the vids there disappear now after sharing that on my blog, it'll only prove a point I made a couple of months ago. I don't care who's doing it, just saying that using me to hurt fans is lame. If this is a legal claim problem from a legitimate source, the least compensation could be reinvestment in new merch.

Moving on. Really having trubba moving on this morning. Another hour has passed, I'm wandering around the house. I have to leave in 40 minutes, egads. Need to get a jam on and walk away.

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