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-Personal blog for Janika Banks.
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Saturday, May 21, 2016

diamond clouds in golden skies


Minecraft thoughts-

When you're stuck in a cave in and need to log off and think I'll just /back when I get on later and when you log back in the next day you stand around in the dark going where tf am I?

When you wake up all super stiff and can barely bend and then remember you fell off that cliff the night before and go oh yeah, that's it.

When you rediscover an old project you started two months ago and think someone screwed with your stuff until you remember that's what you were working on.

Day 639: Down to my last torch. Broke the wooden pickaxe I got off the werewolf to kill a snake. Ate rattlesnake egg for breakfast.

Did you see that? Cleric over there totally hitting on me. Watch this, I'll put a door up and make him crazy.

Giving sheep hay and watching tiny lambs pop into existence makes everything better again.

Slowly getting my scattered life organized again. Got my new list going. I've got 10 blocks a day marked out, keeping in mind that I usually have 12 hours a day to fill and half the time those days go off the rails with appointments and Bunny stuff and hitting walls (one block is 'nap', lol). But it's very different from the regular course schedule I used to follow. I've still got my work out time and tech work time and stuff like that blocked out, but I added actual reading because my eyes, arms, and hands are doing so much better now that I'm able to hold a book for short bursts and actually stay focused longer than a page at a time before I'm forced to move around again. And I'm a speed reader, so imagine the multiple nerve fail that goes into holding a speed reader down to one page at a time. This is where I'm able to gauge actual real progress in getting a somewhat normal life back. Worth 4 years of pain and work outs? YES. I'll probably have to keep doing physical therapy maintenance the rest of my life if I want to hang onto this level of control and capability.

Ran into a way shorter vid of just the chandelier that I got before I put a table beneath it.


I was very surprised to run into this, just happened to have the video running for something else. And the sound is working! You can hear the MoCreatures bugs and animals! (Pets don't attack, otherwise I'd have had to kill a few things.) Anyway, a couple months ago this was a really cool town, loads of cool stuff, and it's already been de-towned and someone is stripping it out. Griefing is a very egregious crime, so I don't dare take anything myself as long as people who own those chests are still logging on. I went back later on and I think that stone bridge is about gone now, too.


So I've spent a LOT of time in the mines this week looking for more gold for this kind of stuff, lotta gold detailing in my nightclub. Ignore the clutter, I've got areas marked out for construction crews.


So the days fly by while I'm down in the dark to the point where I'm starting to think like a dwarf in LOTR/Hobbit stuff, and I look up and see the sun.


And I'm so thrilled to see it grow into a golden sky above me.


And later on, no pix, sorry, I walked through clouds of diamond, and that's when I knew I'd become a dwarf. No wonder they are such a poetic people. And now this is always how I'll see the clouds. I walk through clouds of diamonds in a golden sky.


I had a cool dream about redstone, something about coding, but I don't quite remember it. Isn't this a cool visual, Galaxie Gurl in the heart of the earth.


Anyway, I'm also putting together a content production list. I used to do that too, I just never mentioned it. I had goals set for each week or month, so much content for this or that site or blog, and no matter how rough I felt or how stupid the week was, I stuck to my work schedule. It was very good discipline, even if all I got done was something short and silly. The key to writing is the same as the key to physical fitness, you need a work out plan and goals for your brain like you do your body.

I want to interject that I've noticed a BIG change in my head since I started minecraft, because when I started it was very overwhelming, and y'all know I've talked about my very glitchy memory. Learning minecraft was every bit as much work as learning anything else, maybe even more, because I've had to learn an all new way to use my keyboard, really hit the hand/eye coordination (nervous system workout!), worked through a lot of real time response (actually had a few anxiety attacks just playing minecraft, and I think I'm resetting my fight or flight default down a bit, yay!), accomplished some really big tasks that required planning and strategy and overcoming obstacles and stuff going wrong, and as I've played through the last 4 months I've been able to gauge how well my physical therapy is going overall by the duration and tolerance changes in being able to sit here and focus through the game. A private friend can attest that I started out barely playing half an hour at a time, and I was doing it through optic nerve pain, ulnar entrapment pain, and arthritis in several parts of my spine. I've come a long way in 4 months, and I've worked very hard in physical therapy to be able to even just play minecraft, so all y'alls who take gaming for granted and blow it off as a waste of time, suck it.

There is so much stuff I don't tell you guys. I'm able to pass for normal because I want to. I have a will of steel and I can take so much torture because I've already been through so much worse. But it's nice to be able to enjoy something for a change.

Here's a truth I have never said anywhere. When I type in black and white in the editor and then flip to the colorized preview, one eye still nearly goes blind for about 10-15 minutes. Actually, flipping back and forth is when I notice one eye has already fogged out in the black and white. I still have a lot of difficulty with black and white. There's no eye or brain damage, but I'm living with nerve damage that is still healing from illnesses, and there was a time when the ONLY thing I could read were colorized blogs (and that's how my Lexx blog was born). I've said that part before, that I make colors on black blogs so I can read them. What I haven't said is that one of my eyes still throws fits when I try to force it to synchronize with the other eye in black and white. I couldn't read a book for around 3 years without taking off my glasses and shutting one eye and reading one sentence or paragraph at a time and then having to shut the book. I read an entire novel one page at a time with one eye when my vision started coming back 'on' correctly. My opthamologist swears there's nothing physically wrong with my eyes, but to this day, since 2004, I nearly go blind in one eye just reading my own writing in an editor because the nerve keeps shutting down, so it's a really big deal when I say I think playing minecraft has been good for getting my eye coordination back.


Bless the fan who made this one.

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