click for an unbelievable variety of tutorials on Halloween lips
While I was off the game server for 6 days last week, I went a little deep for distraction. It always starts with wandering through search phrases, and I wound up in Yablo land, one of my fave places. These snips click to the pages.
I love reading logic write-ups. I've been thinking about stuff like this since I was a preteen. Does what we think create our world? Does it even matter what we think?
This next click is worth the read if you have the time and want to chew a little gristle.
Autism advocates discussing the setbacks of ableism might be interested in this book- "Thingsis a collection of twelve essays by Stephen Yablo on metaphysics. He examines a range of first-order topics, including identity, coincidence, essence, causation, and properties. Some first-order debates are not worth pursuing, he argues: there is nothing at issue in them. Several of the papers explore the metaontology of abstract objects, and more generally of objects that are 'preconceived', their principal features being settled already by their job-descriptions. He rejects standard forms of fictionalism, opting ultimately for a view that puts presupposition in the role normally played by pretense. Almost all of Yablo's published work on these topics is collected here, along with the previously unpublished 'Carving Content at the Joints'."
Needed a break, took a hard fast dive into the nether regions of Yablo that no one really knows about. Before all the blogging stuff, before Bluejacky, even before Janika, Yablo was that deep dive into obsession, burying my brain in repetition and thought and rarely surfacing for air. Very few people have ever seen that part of me, but one post did come out of it.
That's right, I'm a hard core solitaire/free cell junkie. Like these people. Only I don't rig my games for solvable. I take them ALL on. Those people with 90%s are people who set up for solvable only. Babies. I take the brutal road and carve out my 30 and 40% niches against #allthegames while I think.
I also discovered I had let my realms expire, so I got those updated and started a new singleplayer. The way I play now is so very different from a year ago. I've gotten so much done in survival and haven't even died yet.
Colors and music, colors and music, colors and music, and hours going by while I think. Thanx to Microsoft Windows 10, my free cell activity is recorded on my YabloVH account. Years ago, before computers, I carried a pack of cards around to help me handle my anxiety, and I'd play solitaire in between chores. I still get chores done, so some of my free cell games look like they take forever because they time those, that's me up doing stuff. Unfortunately, I don't stream my singleplayer, so you guys don't see me playing. I have friends who stream all the time, plus I follow other people who stream. I don't talk much while I play, if at all. I never do actual real chat on discord like some of the moc players do. I've been really surprised how much I've interacted in the chat screen on this new server, actually. I went months without interacting outside of my town on the old server. It's kinda funny to think about, since Yablo was actually the most prolific with forum interaction compared to all my other user names. But yeah, when I go under, I'm Yablo, and if you don't see me, I'm *thinking* while I play.
And lately while I'm under, I'm digging Djs from Mars.
Yablo is wanting to get busy on the web sculpt again whenever I get back on moc.
Nice convo with Slidecage on twitter last night, but if you know anything about the show Sliders, you can spot the curse here.
The Dream Masters was actually a pretty scary episode. This wiki briefly explains why, and this review shows why this ep is actually a thriller classic along the lines of thriller parody for realz hallmark kind of thing, and probably one of the reasons Syfy picked it up the next season when Fox dropped it. Jerry O'Connell had much more to say on that controversy last spring. Jerry O'Connell Reveals the Checkered History of 'Sliders' and a Potential Reboot
There's actually quite a lot written and archived about this old series because it was such a groundbreaker in scifi at the time, so if you want more info, just search it.
Btw, Jerry O'Connell saw the convo and liked one of the tweets. If you loved Sliders and want to see more, that convo starts here.
I've come out as the original YabloVH, which was one of my first aliases in fandoms. Me and Sliders go waaaay back. I would so love to see the original roles reprised in a reboot series.
But what was your nightmare? some of you are asking. Srsly. Long ugmo nightmare short, some idiot woman I can't stand (but can't remember at all now that I'm awake???) tried to have me thrown in jail over something ridiculously stupid (some kind of arson, but actually, I was much guiltier than she imagined, she'd have had a field day), and I only escaped by hiding out with Eugene from Preacher, and we wound up making out in a cattle water tank with me on top wondering if I could get away with drowning him.
Yes, one of those holy cow waking up thingies. I'm all wth and wtf and sipping coffee trying to distract myself with last night's convo and the minecraft post I'm working on for Bluejacky blog.
Wait, hang on. I think I'm awake enough now to handle a Lexx fanfic someone linked me to in the night. THIS IS NOT AN INVITATION TO SEND ME FANFIC. Ok, here you go. It's not too long, just click it. btw, NOT linking any more. And beware- the Amish have cats.
For those who don't know, this is Valdron's disclaimers for use with fanfic. Simply stating "Valdron's disclaimers" without even linking to it isn't a valid disclaimer.
Stanelle was the very first Lexx fan who contacted me with a serious question when I first started fan blogging Lexx.
See what I did there? I distracted ALL of us from my painfully stupid nightmare. I will srsly be facepalming all day over that one.
My gut instinct is solidly sliced right down the middle. Stay out here, fold up shop, stay out here, fold up shop... Stupid instinct, so I bypassed that and asked my actual gut what to do, and it said, "Nachos!" and cheers went up across the land.
Then I discovered there's such a thing as pink tortilla chips
but pink dip turns out to be sour creamish stuff, usually with fruit, so NO on the pink cheese. After several pages of awesome nacho pix, though, I'm inspired to do much more with mine in future.
Sometimes being able to say you're having a really great week is all about walling off a zombie spawner room in glass, and then using coordinates to find where it lies beneath the village you're working on, and then creating a cool zombie fight arena. I got killed so many times so fast trying to accomplish this that I finally just let it go and grabbed all new tools and materials and snuck back in on a different side. (Zombies can pick up your tools, and they kept weaponizing every time I died until just showing up only took 2 seconds to get killed again.) I can't even imagine what the other players thought. They're chatting away about taming pets and building houses and going on adventures to find wyverns or figuring out how to set up larger more efficient farming, talking about pink dolphins and enchanted tools and someone locking a chest, and I'm interrupting chat with "YabloVH died" every 10 seconds over and over. I even made armor, what a waste. In the end, I wound up with a pretty awesome set up. OOOH, I should make a little pool of water on the side so they can all go stand in it and not burn up during the day. I bet I could get a hundred zombies spawned before it's all over.
This is after all the work I've done so far.
I've actually been doing really well getting my workouts back on track this week, in case you think I'm still blowing it, which is pretty huge after at least 6 weeks of workout fail. Also staying caught up with basic chores fairly easily, got my money and calendar syncs done without any problems, seem to be having an easier time remembering stuff and reading in general. Also, the TV thing during the day is definitely keeping me on a time awareness track. I decided to marathon the old Soap series, but I've only got the first 2 seasons out of 4. Until I get my hands on 3 & 4, I may never know what happened with Burt and the UFO. And I just got the last two for way cheaper than the first two I got in a Walmart bin. I love Amazon. Anyway, I've done ep 1 so far, great actor spotting kind of stuff. My fave is Richard Mulligan. There was a Soap Reunion last year, and yes, that site I just linked is for the unauthorized book about the making of the series, which you can get from Amazon. Not paid to link that. Just a fan. "From its tumultuous beginnings in 1977 to its end by firing squad - on screen and off - Soap was as passionate and controversial as the times in which it was made. During its four-year run, it tackled sex, death, depression and infidelity, all with a wit and gentleness never before seen on American television. Throughout that time, a vocal minority hounded the sitcom and parent network ABC over its perceived irreverence toward the mores of a declining generation, even as the real world was convulsed by terrorism, energy crises, and fallout from the Vietnam conflict and governmental malfeasance. For the first time ever, Soap: The Unauthorized Inside Story of the Sitcom that Broke all the Rules takes you behind the scenes, from the producers' battles with network censors over an earlier series, to the creation of enduring story lines such as the death of Peter Campbell, and Burt's abduction by aliens. Based on interviews with nearly 30 members of the cast and crew, this book offers an extensive examination of each episode, and may finally reveal the societal forces that really led to the series' premature demise."
I was still in high school when it started, so of course I didn't get to watch it, just like I didn't get to watch Saturday Night Live. I caught just enough quick snatches to realize it was MY KIND OF SHOW, so years later I jumped on it when I saw it in a Walmart bin. If for no other reason, this series is a must if you are a Billy Crystal fan.
And he's the perfect send off today. Have a good one.
circa 10th grade?
I think I was wearing one of my dad's old shirts.
Day 6. This sleeping for 8 hours straight thing is seriously messing me up. How do you 'love sleep' guys do it? I did manage to stay upright all day yesterday (after slugging out all through day 4), but a few hours in, my brain turned to mush and the best I could hope for after that was awesome things on minecraft. So here we go.
I started this crazy big platform between my evil lair and the walled village. Note of interest- admin advised thinning out our animals, I got a little carried away and created game lag having too many AI blocks concentrated together. Anyway, yes, you can see it's a raised platform and quite big.
This is the seedy dark underbelly full of scum and villainy. After the platform got bigger it got pitch black in there, wonderful for fights. There is method to this madness, but I'll share more on that later.
I've squared this all up now, but you can see it goes over a small lake and covers quite a big of acreage. We'll be able to have a boat docked on the edge of Hades, as it were.
Platform at far left bottom corner, you can kind of get a feel for the size of this project. That sandstone lair on the right was huge enough for my chessboard floor and giant chandelier, remember? I know it looks tiny standing a hill away.
The point to all this is 'theme park'. Kai made the waterfall, which is awesome to ride down like a waterslide, and I have plans to get a cool rail system built that will go up around the lair and over the shark pond and back down under the platform in the scary dark and circle around and over the village and back to the plaza that will get built on that massive platform.
It all takes time. Everything you see in these pix has taken about 4 months total so far, at the very least.
By late afternoon yesterday, my brain was completely obliterated, so I practiced on getting video of alt-view fighting. It's a bit long, but I died at least 11 times (I lost count, could have been 12). At 4:35 you can see a zombie had picked up one of my swords, which ramped up the thrill factor. By 6:20 I was Xena in my little miniskirt, all my armor and most of my weapons were gone. I went back into the heart of darkness and probably had at least 6 mobs on me asap. The horse neighing, if you aren't familiar with MoCreatures, is a skeleton horse. 7:50 it was ON, I had died 7 times by then and I still had a sword left. I can see at least 2 endermen, heard a werewolf, still getting shot with arrows, and no idea what that evil squeal was from, plus that skeleton horse. I must've finally killed that spider, though. Lost track of my sword, so I had to go all Gimli with my pickaxe. At 13:20 I discovered I'd killed a scorpion and didn't even know it. At the end I realized I still had video running and turned it off. Note- I hafta leave before this vid is done loading, so hopefully it'll show up like magic here when it's done.
I think writing all that helped me wake up. I can think about today now. Let's see-
Big change on the Bunny front, the whole birthday thing got moved to next week Friday and then she'll sleep over and then go home to another birthday party with more people, and then the day after that, Papa gets his 'surprise' birthday next door, so weekend after this one is pretty busy.
If I can remain upright again today like yesterday, I ~hope~ to get more stuff done around the house, plus I hafta run to town and do things, so I really want this rain stuff to stop for a bit while I do that. We've got area wide flooding again.
Geek Squad is auto-bugging me for money, so I'm going to call sometime today and remind them we canceled that.
I tried out minecraft on xbox again (I have free W10 beta) and finally made an avatar. Meet YabloVH on xbox. Don't know if my account is public enough to ever see me on, but I so rarely get on xbox that it probably doesn't matter. This is whatGalaxie Gurlwould look like as a boy, so there you go. (I found out there's anotherGalaxie Gurl out there. That's not me, although I approve of the hating spiders bit.)
I'm super in a Halloween/autumn mood, probably just sick of summer already, so here you go, one of my fave reruns. Hafta split.
I made this in '08 or '09 by rendering a screenshot of the carpet pattern in the hotel lobby of Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas I've been Yablo since the Sprite commercial first aired. Yablo is alive and well deep in a tunnel somewhere in the MoCreatures server. omg they have a mug all the yellow words are linked
I seem to have stopped dropping my phone every single morning. Poor thing still has the case all taped up together around it. Finally hit the spot in my neck that is apparently putting the squeeze on a piece of nerve like a big bad mafia boss. My therapist had me doing twisty things with my neck I haven't been able to do voluntarily in years.
So now I can do chicken tricks! I can bend my head around and see the world in whole new ways! Yesterday, for the first time since I moved into this house, I backed into the driveway actually looking back at the driveway over my left shoulder. O_O srsly, right? Wow, just discovered wry neck is a real thing with chickens. I've lived with chickens all my life and never once seen a single wry neck problem. Well, that made me feel sad... Now I'm going to dig through my photobucket and look for stuff to cheer me up.
And that quickly escalated into ducks...
@bonenado has brought up the subject of painting. It's not a solid plan quite yet, but we might spend the weekend with me finally stripping out the kitchen and him finally repainting the ceiling after all the whole replacing the roof thing. Things will get interesting if he winds up going down the walls. Good thing I planned on chili dogs this weekend. Guess we'll see what happens. Nothing's ever set in stone around here.
Memorial Days get weird for me. I'm usually 'left behind' while other people do cool fun stuff, so I try to stay busy. One of my toughest Memorial Day weekends looked like this, pure oily sauteed more than boiling hot mess. That's right, I dropped a pan. I have no idea how it didn't melt the linoleum or even splash on me and burn me quite badly (I've seen second degree burns from hot oil fires in the kitchen, very healthy fear of getting burned!), but I have dropped so many things in my life that I've learned to jump and dodge as soon as I feel something start slipping (that becomes automatic when a knife literally stabs you in the foot). I remember I cried a little because I was home all alone and already in so much pain and barely able to bend well enough to even clean it up, so I tried to cheer myself up taking pix and laughing about it.
It's ok, that wasn't as bad as 2012 when I went off the rails during the supervised double hormone crash and then came back out public the next month.
Memorial Day weekend is really stressful for a lot of people, and just yesterday, Twink tried calling 9-1-1 for a fight that broke out in traffic right behind her, guys jumping out of their vehicles right there in traffic and duking it out, and no one was answering. I'm sure their phone bank was swamped with calls. This time of year really sucks for tension and traffic and all kinds of social pressures and people trying to get off work and whatevers.
I've done a few flashbacks of different times of year, but I don't think I've ever done a flashback of Memorial Day weekends. So here is Memorial Day through the years. Bluejacky was born on a Memorial Day weekend.
Yeah, wasn't writing much in public yet back then. What I wrote privately on May 28, 2007 is sad (not because of death or anything) and I'm probably never going to share it with anyone, but I will share this bit about the chickens.
I'm perplexed with my chickens. Last fall I tossed two strange chickens into the coop which resulted in one of my original girls getting beaten nearly to death over a week's time. Things settled down over the next month as the new hens got better food and more freedom. When one of the strangers died this winter, leaving only 3 hens, there was no movement for leadership, no matriarch was established. Now Luella, the stranger who had done all the vicious beating, has chicks, and the tables have suddenly turned. You would think that her being a mom, on top of her past history of abusing others, would establish her as the lead, but surprisingly, Marzipan, my most peaceful chicken, has turned into a monster, and not only pounds her, but goes after her chicks as well. There is definitely discord when they are penned up together, to the point of Marzipan not even letting them eat. You'd think that letting them out to graze would solve the problem. Nooo... Marzipan just waits for Luella to come sort of near her with her chicks, then drives them apart. It's like she delights in making it difficult for Luella to take care of them. Fortunately there is plenty of space out there and they rarely cross paths, but it happens, and I'm watching Marzipan go from sweet to arrogant and having a hard time with how I feel about that. I'm all for having chickens who feel tough enough to defend themselves and their territory, because they are literally surrounded with danger where we live, but to delight in the abuse of another isn't cool. As much as I hate to admit this, I'm really looking forward to getting rid of Luella and the chicks when I take them to Dad's next month. And I will never, ever, EVER mix a flock again. They are having a good Memorial Day, though. I bought fresh corn on the cob yesterday, went out awhile ago and husked some. Very exciting! They love fresh corn. And later they'll get watermelon rinds. That's about as close to chicken cake and ice cream as it comes.
A fox solved the Luella problem a few days later. Salut to the political karma of nature. The chicks were fine, sent them to live with Dad, they flew up into the trees to roost, and then owls got them. *sigh* I saved pix of Luella and her chicks here.
May 27, 2008 our selves
I won't repost that since it's public and you can click to it, but I was starting to slug them out and I wasn't holding back. Little did I realize at the time that Bluejacky had spawned an Aspienado.
Privately I wrote "picnic and pie". It was a typical stupid big family weekend because people were crabby again, and I met my ex son-in-law, and we were staining the siding for the Quackerdome, our chicken house. I'd love to share, but our dirty laundry gossip is insane. (I sometimes joke about being recompensed for all my emotional sufferings with a best seller after a few people croak off, but I seriously say that in jest.)
May 2009
Publicly I was still ranting about new Trek. Privately I was withdrawing off years of very addicting medications in a desperate effort to get some control back over my life. I'd been granted full disability and was declining so quickly that I feared complete nerve fail (I was mimicking every symptom of CNS lupus except strokes and seizures). I wound up needing a 'rescue' because I was incorrectly withdrawing from a very long term benzo med and went into DTs, which can actually be quite dangerous. This is an example of my ignorance.
Anyway, yeah, this withdrawal has gotten really interesting. Last evening I started feeling like I was being nipped really hard in random places off and on, as if a deer fly were biting me. If you haven't felt a deer fly bite, think fire ant, sorta in the same intense get-your-attention category. Then it felt like something was crawling through my hair and nipping my scalp a little here and there, thank goodness I'd already looked up withdrawal symptoms, so I wasn't too bothered and just kept doing what I was doing, ignored it. It wore off after about an hour.
But this also happened, in case you like weird gorey nature stuff.
I've deemed this next story a little too gory to go on the chicken blog, but we've never seen or heard anything like it, and I've gotta tell it.
Earlier this afternoon Scott and I were sitting out on the deck in between rains, nearly got involved in an epic woodpecker battle. They're called red bellied woodpeckers, but this is what they look like.
Anyway, there's this super aggressive one chasing another one from tree to tree and around our deck, when out of one of the trees comes a fledgling of some kind, made it across the yard to the gutter at the edge of the henhouse. The second it landed, that aggressive woodpecker was all over attacking it, and even picked it up by its head feathers in its bill and flew down to the grass with it. A male cardinal zipped down and met it on the lawn, and as the woodpecker was violently spiking the baby's brain with its long bill, the cardinal was trying to drag it off and actually got it off the ground before the woodpecker snatched it and carried it into the cherry tree. (I had NEVER seen or heard of birds carrying babies in flight, and I saw it twice with two birds in only a few seconds.) The cardinal flew after it but was too late, and there was horrible crying in the tree. Scott went out to see what happened, came back with the bloody dead baby, still didn't have much in tail feathers, but enough wing feathers to fly. At this point I have to go back and mention that 3 cowbirds, 2 males and a female, also zipped down to the lawn and witnessed the whole thing within a foot of this fight as though they were intensely interested, but didn't get involved. So we're wondering if a cardinal family raised a cowbird baby, and the cardinal tried to save it, and the cowbirds were watching because they know where they put all their eggs and keep on eye on things. Anyway, we looked the baby over, and it was undeveloped enough (and we're not educated enough) to identify whether it was a cardinal or cowbird, even couldn't tell by the beak, still too wide and babyish.
We've been wondering if this super pecker is the reason why we haven't had any orioles or hummingbirds the last few days (we've seen him hanging on a hummingbird feeder slurping up the juice), and have mutually decided Scott needs to pop it with the pellet gun. If it was targeting a baby cowbird, fine, but if it's targeting ALL baby birds making first flights and driving other birds away from the feeders, he's got way too much testosterone and too much time on his hands. He's as bad as having a stray cat in the yard.
May 2010
Privately- I was able to start watching TV again after several years of nerve problems (ears, eyes, severe headaches), so I rambled about a couple movies I'd seen and whatever. I was on the right track getting off meds, and even though my demeanor was perking up a little and things had started looking funny again, I don't have anything public for most of that year. Kept kitchen and laundry done up all weekend, then made a punkin pie for Grampa next door (war vet, and thanx for all the fish, as it were) and a lemon pie for Scott. Funny how a person can keep forgetting they don't have a mixer, eh? I never whipped a meringue by hand before. Never really got to a fluffy peak stage of any kind, but made it to the white and glossy thick stage and decided that was close enough. Cooked up real purty, tastes just as good, just looks like a flat sheet of toasted marshmallow crream. Sorta makes you wonder how in the world the French invented all this whipping up stuff, because way before we had electronics they were whipping up fancy things, and I'm getting this scenario in my head- one geeky pimply French kid apprentice is battling it out with another geeky chef wannabe, Oh, yeah? Well, watch THIS! and he whips his little bowl of cream an extra 10 minutes till his arm nearly falls off, a sous chef walks in to yell at them and gets distracted by the fluff in the bowl....
May 2011
The year EVERYTHING changed, thanks to a new doctor who took my whole being very seriously instead of just trying to throw pills at me. I started a 'spaz' blog and wrote my problem with healthy food. If you are strugging with diabetes, start there. I'm doing pretty awesome with it nowadays. I still wasn't owning my public self yet back then, but I was done being just private. On Bluejacky I was throwing silly surveys out right and left- 3 things survey. And on my private blog I was writing about sitting outside in 100+ degree weather to get away from the whole house reeking of fresh stain while Scott stained the siding. Kinda noticing a pattern... staining a chicken house, staining our house, maybe painting in my kitchen on ~gasp~ Memorial Day weekend!
May 2012
This is about the only thing I can share from my private blog from Memorial Day weekend that year, and I had gone underground again, so there was nothing public until I erupted back out in June on twitter and July on my original blog.
What a thrilling snake year we are having! First it was the monstrously fat king snake in the quacker dome, and yesterday it was a 6 foot black snake being disturbed enough by Scott's drilling to come out from under the quacker dome and zip down to the woods. The underlying problem seems to be a very extended family of mice that is apparently thriving enough to keep said snakes not only interested, but very well fed. So we're doing the mouse traps, have already caught two mice inside the quacker dome, prolly have a hundred left to go. And then Scott is going to have to put chicken wire up around what's left of the big pen that doesn't already have reinforcement before we can move new chickens in there.
A little over a year later, I finally wrote on syfydesigns about what was going on underground in 2012 just before I came back out public. That thread has 12 posts and over 3000 views, which is partly because I think people can relate. It's the first time I say anything really REAL about myself to public after years of being a behind the scenes fandom website owner. I'll paste the important part over. It's still just a hint at this point, but I've since confessed that I 'broke' into bubble worlds and couldn't tell which bubble was real during a medical crisis where 3 different specialists supervised me over 2 months crashing down 2 different hormones, which does really weird things to brains. During this time, I spent a week seeing and talking to a child I'd lost as if I'd never lost him and he'd been in my life all along. 'Waking up' from that was about the most depressing thing I've ever been through.
I'm not going into the details here, but I should have another kiddo in my life about Colin's height, looks, and just a wee bit older. I used to wonder how fans get so 'insanely' attached to actors and the characters they play, well, I had a chance to learn that last year for myself. It's very personal stuff, but sometimes something happens and you break a little, and you patch over with a borrowed bandaid and keep it together. As I went through this myself, it finally made sense to me what I was seeing in other fans who get a little more intense than is probably psychologically healthy. Fortunately I knew exactly what was going on with me and had help and I'm doing very well, but not everyone gets that. I've already written articles on the benefits of mythology in our lives, the way we use stories to help us figure out who we are and how to handle problems and decision making, but soon I'll be writing more from my new experiences.
May 2013
Both daughters were pregnant, I was getting ready to fly to Houston (my fear of flying is about claustrophobia), was on at least 2 different cancer watches, and had started public blurbing at SyfyDesigns a few months before the big Xanga server move, and that year I published pix from a family reunion. I also got silly and posted Stargate Pie on my original Lexx blog. Through it all I felt like I was hanging on by my fingernails to a crazy rollercoaster ride. It was marvelous. It was the most exciting my life had been in years. It was also wildly depressing in so many ways, and I'm really not sure how I got through it, except that I was determined to stick to producing public content.
May 2014
I had completely stopped private blogging. On Memorial Day I published the Drew Carey show tunes post on my first public Pinky blog, and the day before on SyfyDesigns I confessed my severe arachnophobia, and shortly after I was stalking Mike Bilinski.
May 2015
Wow. there is no U in aspienado Fully integrated public Pinky now. Dealing with all the things. Confessions left and right and going places I never dreamed I'd go as a public person. Breaking open and really starting to heal in mind, body, and soul for the whole world to see. Owning my stuff.
And only a handful of people know the full circle I've come and what I'm not saying behind all this. I've said elsewhere that everything I've done on the webs was inspired by one person, and everything I've become on the webs was motivated by another. Neither one knew any of that.
But back to Memorial Day weekend! I have absolutely nothing planned beyond chili dogs, assisting @bonenado with whatever, and tunneling my way through MoCreatures. I hope I get a few naps and some good TV- OH!!!Zoolander 2 is finally on Dish, definitely want to watch that this weekend.
Real life- I mopped my floor yesterday. I'm not sure what came over me but I kicked into high gear and tore into this house. I think part of it is we're breaking through another wall in physical therapy, and my energy level is coming up. Paying for it today, though. It's taking forever to patchwork this one together in between lots of breaks.
This playlist has been my go-to all week for motivation. Most of it is pretty upbeatish.
And if you're having a really stupid Memorial Day weekend for whatever reason, here you go, some really good bad mood music.
Yesterday's ASTYM was the roughest yet. I'm not an easy bruiser, but this time I'm bruised up from neck to mid-back and on both shoulders and neck. It's amazing, though, how gloriously 'free' I feel to move, and the pain level is back down again.
My mind is so blank that I'm going to go backwards and grab stuff from this day through the years. (An hour later- smashing and recoding webkits will always be my go-to during brain glitch/fail. If you ever don't see me for awhile, I'm swimming delightfully through html.)
"I am loathe to enter on loseit.com that I just ate a third of a pound of bacon while I was wrestling all that out on the keyboard."
From 2014 on SyfyDesigns. (Ok, I actually linked the day before because it's way better than a year ago today, but you'll still be able to see today after it.)
From 2013 on SyfyDesigns, again, one day before today, in the middle of a whole page of Tony luv.
From 2012, sorry no link, it's private from here on back, so you get more than one sentence if I deem it worthy.
Wow, is my brain gone. This is later. I tried to count some days, and it took me 5 tries to get past 20 correctly. I'd blame the antibiotic, but this morning I counted even worse. Maybe it's the sinus. Now I'm wondering how in the world I picked up groceries and two prescriptions with $23 today. I think it was $5 each for pills (generic) which is $10, and $13 for milk and a couple other things, and I still brought home change. I just do these things, the numbers float around independently. Not sure why a light bulb came on *now*.
If I don't lay down real soon, I feel like my body will pull a Transformers thing and refold itself into a horizontal position without my consent and I'll be so surprised to find my eyeballs looking up from the middle somewhere. Later.
Oh, gotta share this one. I keep getting footprints on fortuna from someone in --- who thinks they're browsing anonymously, but referral gives me their xanga name embedded in 'private home' xanga address, so I looked it up. He's a 16 year old supergay in love with another boy at school, and they carry on like little girls swooning, and I'm wondering what in the world is Lexx to him, because he comes in on Lexx pages, and has been since I started. For some reason, I just think that's really funny. Maybe because I've been drowning in European middle agers swooning over young Irish actor Colin Morgan in the Merlin fandom. The young Irish supergay wants old Lexx...
Colin can't believe it, either. (For the record, I thought this was pretty awesome. You guys know the little thrills I get from tracker stat puzzles.) (Also for the record, the 'gotta share' was because one person in the entire world could see this private blog.)
From 2011.
Well, dawn has been cracked for 30 minutes and I see no sign of Scott, but neither do I see a single crow hanging around the bird feeder and they're not even flying over cawing, which is very unusual, so I'm betting they are watching Scott somewhere. I've seen deer come into the back yard and nibble groundcover within 15 feet of the crows, and if the crows take off, so do the deer, so I know the deer are watching the crows. The routine is way out of kilter this morning, even though the Boyd boys don't seem to be around now, so who knows how the Mighty Hunter might be triggering events in his environment.
I just shake my head at him. He almost got after me for putting so many onions in the meatloaf, and I rolled my eyes, here we go again. The deer will smell your onion breath... He decided that's ok, he could use scope. ~Seriously?~ Yeah, why not? Um. Can we *think* about that one? If deer would actually be spooked by something as natural as onion breath, which I'm sure they themselves must have on the occasion with all the wild stuff we have growing in SW MO, surely *scope* would be worse...? The deer smell minty fresh breath on the wind and call an all clear... He goes to all the trouble to rewash clean clothes in unscented high dollar soap just so it won't smell like laundry, and he rinses with scope. And he thinks I'm a real dingle berry making a big deal about the scope. As you can imagine, we're kinda bickering a bit since deer season started.
There is no way I can write any more without it continually coming back to deer season bugging me, especially after me nearly hurting myself helping Scott get that stupid deer stand up and he's not even using it. I should just walk away.
(This next is usually what happens after Scott comes home without a deer.)
We have lights up on the back deck! I told Scott to stop at that, the cantina lights. Don't want to come out of a 5-6 year slump to regret doing it, right? We also went next door and strung up lights around the roof of gram's house, easy and quick and cheerful.
From 2010, the year I picked up hand-foot-mouth disease from the arm of a waiting room chair because I was so careful not to touch anything else in a room full of old people waiting to be called back for colonoscopies (I was a driver) while they kept racing in and out to a bathroom down the hall. The walk-in clinic doctor I saw a few days later couldn't believe I didn't get it from a child, but I hadn't been around any children at all in months, so all y'alls- WASH YOUR HANDS!!!!>=l That's just disgusting. I'm surrounded by peasants everywhere I go.
Feeling weird and goofy with all these spots in my mouth. New one under my tongue, only bothers me when I eat. Easy to dehydrate with this, don't like anything touching my throat, even cool water. Really tired of numbing, and it tastes gross. Actually, my taste is screwed up anyway with these welts on my tongue. Hot chocolate and eggnog easiest to get down. Still having wobbly spells, musta woke up in another fever last night. Fingertips are getting real sensitive, figure it's the little hand blisters coming on under the skin. Can't see them yet, but feels uncomfortable. Feet feel hot and uncomfortable, not even bothering to look at them. Eyes are really itchy, have what looks like super glue sheeting in the corners, can't get it out for anything. Prolly part of the virus.
From 2009. What can I say. It was a hella rough year and this show got me through it.
I see Mac's mom on Always Sunny in Philadelphia and think, that's probably what I'm going to look like some day, but without the chain smoking. I think she's hilarious.
(This vid is an update smuggled back onto youtube. Love fans.)
I was slightly double blogging that year as I shifted away from this other private blog in an attempt to get a better attitude going, so what's coming next is this baditude. I've credited in a couple of public posts that being pissy and even hateful is what got me through and helped me survive the suckiest parts of my life. I learned all new respect for hateful people that year. Only thing is, I finally couldn't stand myself like that and eventually figured out I need people, and then made a plan to come back out for good this time, and that's what Pinky blog is. Imagine me evolving from this crap to love letter blog.
After a good think for a few days, I told the psychologist today that I've decided I'm not cut out to be a social networking person, and I think the problem I'm having with everyone else on myspace and facebook over the last couple years is me not being able to tolerate the incongruity that lies in whiny one-liners that don't match real life.
~lotta deleted gossip~
It's things like that why I need to just stop logging in to social networks. I love these people in real life. Online I can't stand them...
Anyway, going forward. Huge change in my life, closing down everything I've done since '04 and sealing it off from not only the public, but especially from my own family.
~lots more deleted gossip~
I feel like I'm throwing shackles off, it feels good. No longer tied down to others' needs and messes, free of the silliness. I tried so hard to follow them around on social networking in order to stay in touch when they'd go months between phone calls and even longer never seeing me in person.
I asked -- today if she'd like to go back out to Carthage sometime to the Precious Moments museum, like when we went with Mom. She has no memory of me going with them... She was so surprised that I could recall details, like the stained glass ceiling in the library on the town square, etc. I told her I felt very bad that day and tagged along and didn't talk much, but I didn't say that my feelings felt flung off a hamster wheel that she wouldn't remember hours of me hanging out with them. Even in really bad pain, that trip meant a lot to me, and I still remember tons of details.
I remember my mom started forgetting lots of stuff by the time I was in high school and then raising kids. She didn't remember things from my childhood that even now I still remember clearly. -- is already forgetting big chunks of stuff from just the last ten years, so much so that it's impossible to talk to her about some stuff. And now --...
Oh, well. Like I said, moving forward now.
From 2008. This time of year is like a rerun. Every year we go through this same convo, same actions, same everything.
Scott's busy little brain is working out a schedule this weekend. He wants to go out hunting early Saturday morning, and I guess he's so excited or something that he can't sleep. I got up around 4 and he was already gone to work. He usually doesn't leave until 5. Then we yakked on the phone because he was the only one at work, and he's busy planning and over planning how and when and where he's going to get new long underwear (I told him I saw some in a Target sale ad) and all the high energy drinks and water and snacks and food he's going to need to take, and the times he'll send text messages so I'll know he's ok, etc. And he's wanting to do a last yard mowing, but he can't because he'll go out into the woods sneezing (mowing has him sneezing for 24 hours), so he'll have to mow Sunday, yada yada yada.
The fabulous flu shot rush is over. Back to same ol' same ol'. Man, that was awesome.
Up against Scott's manager at work this week in fantasy football. Picked up a different tight end, otherwise not sure if I should change anything. I was ~so close~ to beating Scott, and the Rocketdogs (the manager's team) didn't do that great last week, even though the fantasy site carries on like all his guys are so great. The deeper we go into this, the more I feel I'm throwing dice in a Parcheesi game. There goes my fatalistic attitude, eh? Scott says he's going to take over and play for me if I don't get on it.
Scott caved and ordered a smoked turkey from a coworker's kid from some kind of school fundraiser, and it arrived, there's no room in the freezer, so it's thawing in the fridge. Now I am challenged to hack a 12 pound turkey down to manageable portions and design meals around them. And we decided last year we don't even really like turkey.
Deer are all over the place. Scott saw one in our front yard eating persimmons right by the road when he went out to start his truck at 5 a.m. Now it's about 7, dawn is cracking, I'm hearing gun shots galore. FromMissouri Whitetail Deer Hunting Trips- "The 1st Gun Season in 2008 is November 15th through November 18th. The 2nd Gun Season is November 22nd through November 25th."These are gunshots within a quarter mile of my house. This is nearly as irritating as dealing with loose dogs. I remember one year the girls and I were walking out to the car so I could drive them to school, and a shot ricocheted right through the yard, we could hear it whistle by. I texted Scott about this morning's shots, he called in and reported it.
From 2007. I'm a super cynical minimalist. You guys don't see these kinds of long, ranty thinking. I do have a better car now, though. And my couch and TV have since been upgraded. Looking back on this is funny, because I live in a house on a 4ish acre lot that could go for $1M in California.
Twinkles wants an ipod touch for Christmas, so Scott and I talked to a Best Buy guy over the weekend about it. He said so many people bring those back, disappointed that it's not the same thing as an iphone. And he showed us an ipod for only $50 more that can hold 160GB, the equivalent of 40,000 songs. We said no thanks.
While we were walking around the store on our own, dreaming of tvs (we're still using a 19" from the stone age), I told Scott if Twinkles got an iphone and either lost it or damaged it, she'd be freaking out over losing so much technology that was in one place, so I think it would be better to spread that stuff out into several gadgets.
Lo and behold, on Chuck last night, a customer comes into the store totally freaking out that her iphone has died, her whole life is on it, she can't live without it, etc.
My own life is very simple. I don't own an ipod. I still own vinyl albums and a turn table, plus cassettes and cds. My old cd player is over 8 years old and still works fine. I wouldn't mind having a stereo that converts vinyl to digital, but I'm not dying over not having it. My car is a '99 Lumina with the paint starting to peel. People scrape it a little all the time and I don't care because it's old. In my mind, it's my baby Lamborghini, even though the cd player stopped working years ago and the seats are so worn down we can feel the metal bars. I don't own a dishwasher. I don't have a lot of fancy electronic gadgets in my kitchen. I mostly eat off plastic plates and have only one stainless steel pan. My couch is 17 years old. I don't own any special kind of bed. Most of my clothes are over 5 years old, some way more than that. Our microwave is ancient.
I walk around big stores and think-- clutter. Having to clean something. Granted, I'd like a new couch and tv, but I can hardly complain while Scott is paying cash for so much of my medical, right?
I get on my computer and I'm so bored with it I mostly just blog and leave. I feel like I've seen it all, done it all on the computer. I could honestly live without one if I had to, although I do like it for keeping in touch with humanity because I'm such a hermit.
I neglected to log onto a few of my fansite myspaces for about a week while I was having those super bad headaches, so when I finally did, this chick (the one who says I'm a wizard) is flagellating herself for possibly saying something wrong-- why am I ignoring her? So she starts talking about my top friends on those sites, I guess she's buddying up to my friends, and I'm going great, another ~stalker~... Thank goodness this one is overseas, or at least I *hope* so. I get this lengthy note about how friends depend on one another, etc., I have to realize this even if I need my space, etc, and I'm shaking my head going dang, she's been friended with me, what, two or three months? And she's already giving me lectures and telling me all this stuff about how her Johnny Depp painting (she's NOT good...) and therefore Johnny Depp's own spirit 'saved' her life from electrocution because it looked at her when she started to pound a nail into a wall, and she found out she might have gone right through an electrical wire... I know building codes, electrical wires are usually bundled along studs and not lying right next to sheet rock, but what do you say? Um, yeah, indigenous peoples believed that we put bits of our energy into our artwork, so maybe that was really yourself saving your life... Needless to even mention, she has no clue that I have other myspaces, particularly not the vanyablo. Geez. But if a couple of you here just HAPPEN to get friend requests from a chick called "---", deny deny deny. Save yourself some trouble. She's just another 'looter' out to dig up anything she can to find out who and where I really am. People like that attach themselves to me all the time. I just ignore it.
~deleting gossip~
THIS is why I hang onto a private xanga blog. I don't have a myspace out there I can say stuff like this on without either inciting a riot or committing a federal crime. I can't talk about Twinkles because so many people in her OWN FAMILY and ---'s family stalk her every move and everyone on her friend list. I can't even post public pictures of her, even though she has given me permission, because --- has conniptions if I do. I'm sure if Twinkles can find my vanyablo through the maze of friend lists on several sites, so can "---". She will scour all my 500 different friends and notice that several of them have Yablo in their top 8 and figure out we're all family, and she'll eventually discover I've been holding out on her. Then she'll go through an angry pout thing, even though she's in the UK and is NOT my family, and I have no idea why in the world people get so weird. But I certainly seem to attract them.
I have nothing saved from further back from 2007. The rest of my life on the webs from 1994-2006 is truly gone, unless you are fixated on me enough to go haunt old forums, most of which are also gone now. A couple of fansites around the world saved some old stuff, the most famous is this one. The group my name links to was a group I created and ran. The pic clicks back and the quote below it is from that site.
I linked this text snip to the original group address, but it's no longer there, of course. Just an empty spot from back in the day, before Lexx took over my life.
Ok, back to 2015. My brain is a little more on, but now I've got nerve/muscle twitching all over my face, kinda maddening. The guy who did my ASTYM yesterday is a neck expert (neckspert) and could feel a catch midway down between a couple of processes looking left. That area is supposed to be able to allow a nerve glide and may be part of this whole problem down my arms, and it's the spot I tore getting flung out of a flipping car. I've got definite scar tissue in there that everyone can feel. Anyway, as we continue shredding down the thick scar tissue, nerves keep getting liberated from entrapment in hardened soft tissues, and then I get this reverb for a few days as the nerve pathways run diagnostics (he thought it was funny that I put it like that), and apparently this one set off the trigeminal and 7th cranial, so now my face feels really busy, although I doubt I'd be able to see it in a mirror. I've lived with nerve healing all over my body, takes years, and I think a lot of people mistake nerve healing 'pain' for something being wrong when it's actually nerves coming back on. They tend to quit physical therapy before the people helping them can really get in there. I'm one of those miracle people, but only because I have stuck out the therapy for several years now. People who never knew me before don't believe I was crippled to a standstill and homebound for awhile.
Ok, enough of that. FOCUS!
The internet isn't helping. I clicked on this
and wound up with this.
This is lappy's wallpaper today, lol. It clicks to the Morgan character wiki. You're welcome.
Sorta getting a plan going. Supper stuff out thawing, new pine scented candle lit so I'll feel holiday-y, basically just clearing speed zones through the house because once Scott gets home from work, deer season is ON and he'll be in and out fussing over a deer stand and getting stuff lined up and spread out, no onions or other odorous yum allowed tonight so keeping it simple and bland (*never* feed your man beans before a hunt- just- *don't*, you'll hear for days how it was all your fault the deer never showed up), continue the hydration-protein-workout-REST regime, and if you don't see me much this weekend, things will be pretty crazy over here.
I need some kind of breakfast. Not sure what sort of motivational jam I can get into yet. Still kinda in shock, nothing too bouncy. How about this. I like it. Yes, of course it's subtext.
This is why I'd like to have staff. It just eats too much of my time.
click for a ridiculously wordy tutorial and reasons why it's a supposedly a good idea
And that is exactly why I'm not fond of WordPress. The sheer amount of work it takes to actually set it up correctly in the first place is dumb. I've got what, 5 WP accounts now? I've never downloaded ANYTHING. Nada. I blog just fine, got 2 domains just fine, and yeah it looks sloppy and unprofessional like my jeans and t-shirt, but it's easy, fast, and still basically 'mine'.
What brought this up? Stupid verifying pinterest, that's what. I'm actually verified. I've got the checkmark, have had it for at least a year. They turned it off because I'm not 'famous'. #facepalm I've got gravatar verifying my stuff, G+ verifying my stuff, my Lexx on G+ actually has a checkmark thanks to Xanga, but WordPress and pinterest are like oil and water now. 'WordPress' is no longer considered professional enough for pinterest (which started off with loads of incredulity itself). If you wanna be business savvy enough for pinterest now, you've gotta self-host.
I know a guy who let his site sit completely dormant and empty for two years because he was waiting for a team to help him properly and professionally set up his coding. I know he had to pay money like I did to keep that site, but I didn't let mine sit empty. I started salvaging and repairing the shreds asap and loaded public backup over to new blogs just in case. I WORKED. ~~HARD~~. Not saying anything against biding time, more like get outa my frickin way and let. me. WORK.
I've been made fun of (rolling my eyes) by another person who has not only let sites sit around doing nothing but point, but paid tons of money to do it. And for what? Again, no hard feelings, but while other people sit around waiting for some idea of 'professional' to happen, I'm mangling lappy and stomping it flat in between cups of coffee. IF I WAIT I'LL DIE. Does no one else have a sense of urgency?
All the fancy blog stuff is like paint detailing a car and thinking that makes your content more special.
This is more my style.
Done now?
It's so tempting to go back to the real basics and make it all look like geocities super crap because THAT was magical. Yeah, like this guy. I'm in heaven, he's even got the crappy electronic music.
My Yablo's House used to be kind of like that, only it was on AOL Hometown. By the way, I'm split shifting runs into town today. This post is sort of like quality control on the job. Every little bit you gotta let the employees blow off some steam with a potluck or monthly birthday cake or something.
Now I'm going to dig through my photobucket and look for stuff to cheer me up.
