-Mobile continuation from Xanga blog PinkyGuerrero
-Most of the graphics and vids click to sources.
-Personal blog for Janika Banks.
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Tuesday, April 19, 2016

Galaxie Gurl, fan of the fans

the metaphorical cornerstone of what will soon be Yablo's Evil Lair

My brain was so flatlined last night that I didn't even think about putting coffee grounds in. This morning I got a pot of hot water. I went back to bed while Scott made real coffee.

Sometimes I wake up and think things like "I haven't had french toast in five years." A couple of you just ran off to make french toast. I could feel smug about those 6 pounds staying off, but I'm afraid I'll jinx myself.

Quoting myself from I Try To Excercise My Demons, But They’ve Gotten Out Of Shape. -survey.

Have you ever made a mistake just so you could feel miserable?
Recrimination is not my strong point. I suck at baiting myself psychologically. People who feed off their own emotions like a drug mystify me. I’m terribly Vulcan in that regard.

Actually scrolled through an article about why Adam Sandler sucks before I could make myself get up again this morning, and that's after the real coffee was ready. They're right, I hadn't even heard of the other movies he made last couple of years. He's got his own little rat pack going. That's cute, isn't it, a Hollywood rat pack. I still liked Pixels, though. Someone needed to do that.

srsly, how stupid is this? I can't stop laughing

I know, you just caught that, too, right? I couldn't get out of bed this morning. That's about the rarest thing that ever happens to me.

I have been a very mixed up person on Minecraft. I have a Mojang account, a Minecraft account, a MoCreatures account, a MoCreatures wiki account, and then there are realms and multiplayer and singleplayer and two different IDs I toggle between. Somewhere in all that, several weeks ago when the new 1.9 came out, it was buggy and I reset back to 1.8.9 and lost being able to get back into Kai's realm, so yesterday, during the lowest IQ day I've had in possibly a couple of years, I accidentally fumbled around and got that all back in order and got back into the original Rivyndell. I didn't get any snips or vids, but I went through the portal behind my temple and was just wowed, and the whole time I was thinking I have a friend who does this cool stuff. I was missing so much all these years. I have so much to catch up on and catch up to.

Most of my life has been about winding up with the wrong people in the wrong places doing the wrong things. I see other people doing what they love with people they love and feel mystified by how that happens. Kai said it best- You just have to meet the right people. It's easy to get sucked in by an emotional vampire. And then I nailed why it keeps happening- I was raised to feel guilty and serve others, perfect pairing. Disentangling and disengaging are as hard as addictions to deal with, live with, and continue with. The whole behavior modification thing has gone multidimensional with internet connections now. Our social mapping extends so far into virtual space now that real space takes a back seat.

We both circumvented the Pit of Despair in different directions and met back around on the far side.

Fans continue to blow me away with the depths of their souls, but the ones who create aren't usually the ones who connect. I get more out of FANS than I do out of the industry itself.

Imagine if we'd had internet back in the beginning... This is pretty much how I came away from The Force Awakens.

It's gotta be about more than watching other people create TV shows and movies. We're here to create ourselves, not to be molded by someone else's ideas of sales gimmicks.

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