-Mobile continuation from Xanga blog PinkyGuerrero
-Most of the graphics and vids click to sources.
-Personal blog for Janika Banks.
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Tuesday, April 26, 2016

turtle egonomics

I think it's safe to say I'm out of the fast lane now. What a pace I was keeping up, eh? Let's see how my twitter is doing since I last checked 2 months ago (and I was already slowing down then, too).

This was February.

This is April.

My link clicks are down by an average of 75 over that last 28 days compared to 2 months ago. That's probably because I've not been tweeting a bunch of links like I used to do. My retweets went up, lol.

Let's see how my klout is doing. Holding rock steady, I see.

So basically taking the spring 'off' isn't hurting my platform that much.

I am reeeeaaallllyyyyyy tired of coughing. I used a rescue inhaler only one week and got thrush almost immediately. Made the executive decision to just crank the benadryl up around the clock and ingest a steady diet of zyrtec twice a day, plus pepcid for H2 blocker, and the rest has pretty much been just staying in the house as much as possible, keeping my workouts and chores light, and focusing through the suckage by keeping my mind busy on something. All I can keep saying is thank goodness for minecraft, because this is possibly (so far, fingers crossed) the first April in years I haven't needed to call an ambulance for airway. (I usually need airway assistance within the first couple of weeks, worst year was allergic reaction to the propellant in the inhaler I was prescribed). I've barely touched cheese and chocolate, which are bad to spike histamine levels even if you're not allergic to them, mostly just proteins all day long, and I can't believe how low my pain level is. Once in awhile I have a super tough day where I just can't talk to anyone (besides still keep losing my voice) because the sensation overload is just too much, but I'm still keeping up with dishes and laundry and meals. In years past I would get violent week-long headaches and crippling joint pain, sometimes pleurisy. This year is more like feeling super crabby but still very functional, so I can hardly complain.

this is required reading if you want to be friends with me
ok, j/k, but click it
I know there are a lot of people out there struggling with asthma and diabetes and fibro and all the other things that plague us, and I know I'm very blessed and lucky that so far I'm doing this well on as little medication as possible. Every bit of it is strategy, self monitoring, and planning ahead. I'm controlling my life now instead of falling into all the potholes. It takes skill and attention and a deep commitment to WANTING it. All you guys out there who feel helplessly sucked down massive drain holes and barely hanging on with meds (been there, many hugs to you)- how badly do you want to control? I started planning in 2008. The lengths of dedication I've gone to have created monumental changes in my life since a time I could feel it all slipping away and knew I would be dying soon if I didn't. And I don't kid myself, it could still all go poof any time. I live with odds that aren't easy to stand up to. I just know I want to live.

Back to reality. I'm tired. Not the kind of tired I used to be, thank goodness, but still tired. Part of my dream last night was about bringing a Ginsu steak knife to a slime block brawl. If you have a clue what a slime block is, you can imagine how useless a tiny knife would seem, especially against several big blocks and dozens of smaller ones. But in the dream, it wasn't just about hacking with a tiny knife. It was about strategy and timing and higher ground. It was about understanding how the slimes move and track and attack.

One of the neatest things I've picked up playing survival mode in minecraft is that hostile mobs can be used against each other. How many times have I dived into 3-4 (and more!) mobs spawning around me in caves or dark fields and their own algorithms bumping each other back just enough for me to get away. It doesn't always work, but mobs don't have plan Bs in case their A strategies fail. They don't anticipate and plan accordingly. I've been surprised how many crazy really bad situations I've been able to survive by charging straight into them. Even catching on fire falling into lava or being poisoned by a witch, with my last few ticks of health it's all about getting to a spot where I know I'll be able to come back for all my stuff. I still panic once in awhile. Yesterday I lost several blocks of obsidian, my cool enchanted chitin armor, and a diamond pickaxe because I slipped into lava and didn't keep a cool enough head to use my pickaxe to break a block and jump up a couple steps before I croaked. All that work for nothing. No, not for nothing. I learned something. I learned to drop off my stuff instead of carrying it around in dangerous situations. I learned that obsessing and not taking a break was what wasted my time. I learned to get smarter, think while I do. And then I basically rebuilt an entire floor underneath the obsidian bed because there was live lava under every bit of it, and I was patient enough to want it that badly.

Not all obsidian has live lava underneath. I cleared a whole other bed of it easy peasy because it was just sitting there on cobblestone. And I found that boring, because I didn't have to think about what I was doing...

Real life is like that. We're all bored, aren't we? We want to be entertained, but we really don't want to work for it. Life sucks and it's not fair and we're bored.

We are in a real game. We want to live and not be killed right away. We want the freedom to do things and the means with which to do them. We must think. Strategize. No one owes us anything that we aren't willing to get up and try to do for ourselves. No one is going to miss us if all we do is whine.

My first real post on twitter analytics was about 10 months ago- twitter analytics. I've noticed that twitter still fails big time with a certain thing- I can get direct stat feedback from a blog that actually says how many referrals came in from a specific tweet link, and twitter still to this day does NOT live up in it's own analytics to that count number. My engagement rate is actually a lot higher than what twitter tells me it is, and I have the stats to prove it. I've seen plenty of times where tweet activity reports waaaaay fewer link clicks than what my blogs or SyfyDesigns will say is happening. On the other hand, G+ is dumping 'impressions' while twitter is still pumping up impressions as their selling tool. Impressions don't mean anything except potential. I mean, yeah, it's fun to see a really big number sometimes, but the true test is favstar keeping track of actual interaction.

Years ago I noticed that fans in forums sit around doing and saying the same things over and over and over, year in and year out. Years have gone by, I go back and lurk, same people, same thing, over and over and over. Twitter is exactly the same thing. People making almost identical tweets year in and year out. One person says they never get sick every year on a certain month, but without fail gets the nasty crud on another month every single year. Another person is very healthy and works out, but never fails to self sabotage with injury during workouts, and healing winds up lasting longer than the work out time spent, and this has happened several times now. And on and on. I have an eidetic memory for things I see in print, especially with timestamps, and I can usually find things I can remember seeing very quickly. It's all there, unless someone closes an account. I'm a speed reader, a search queen, and I remember nearly 4 years of twitter.

Some of you really need to get lives. Your repetition is stultifying, unless it's part of your strategy for the world to believe your life is really that empty and boring. Those of you who are homebound or dealing with stuff you haven't shared out loud, all well and good and many kudos to you (been there), but seriously, repeating yourselves for years, how in the world do you guys not notice you are doing that? (You too, celebs...) omg, I've written probably 3 millions words now, and I'm still always finding something new to write. Nearly 4 years on twitter and I'm bored to tears with it. I'm sure that's a really good way to vilify myself on twitter, but I'm not actually saying it ON twitter.

I should probably apologize. My brain is brined in antihistamines. Oh, btw, the blog title is a pun on ergonomics, because I'm a narcissist going in slo-mo this month.

Yeah, so life in the slow lane, as it were. Oh, the bee swarm was smoked and gently removed into a hive yesterday. It's funny I had noted just a few days earlier that I hadn't seen a single bee yet this year, which is odd because I've never been able to get close up pix of my flowering trees without being in bee danger, and suddenly there's a swarm of thousands all gobbed on a tree like bee hell burped them out.

I've gotta enjoy my last two days of real freedom (today and tomorrow). Thursday and Friday are booked up, and next week I start back into physical therapy. Time to tackle that upper core strength again, see if I can get past that wall now that I kept hitting and splatting on.

I really need to gather my brain back up, get it into coffee cup, get some clothes on, get a plan going, get on some kind of track today.


  1. very good points about repetition, and wanting things badly enough to work for them. I think I'm probably guilty of being on the hamster wheel. I make an effort to not complain or whine, just stating the facts. But if no one is listening, is it still considered a complaint?

    1. I had a really cool reply here and hit the stupid sign out button instead of publish, like I always do on blogger. (That is a complaint!!!!) Then I got a phone call and that set off my coughing again and now I'm ready to smash a window throwing Jawn out into the rain. Poor lappy, it's not even his fault.

      Trying again.

      What if our existence is part of a much bigger story, and others really do listen because they've become interested in our griefs and woes and little triumphs? What if we've never been alone and we just can't perceive that? What if our cries to the heavens really are a form of comfort because we instinctively know someone ~must~ be 'out there'?

      I've never felt alone, and I've always felt like someone is watching and listening. I have no idea who, and I've never known why I feel this way, but the older I get, the stronger it feels.

      A healthy complaint combined with strategy can propel us forward in ways that contentment cannot. Maybe having a complaint means you're smarter than just being a cog in a wheel of society. I like to think of complaints as diplomatic negotiation that can sometimes go sour, but sure beats stuffing down one's feels into passive-aggressive frustrations. Of course, complaining would be different here from whining and gossiping and whatever else gets lumped into complaining. People like complaining if it's entertaining, and thus was born the little rocket hamster car and tiny hamster helmet. I can't believe all the hamster accessories there are out there.