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-Personal blog for Janika Banks.
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Friday, June 10, 2016

doin' this

~a week later~ Finally checked voice mails and emails. No wonder more protein powder hasn't shipped, my credit card needed to be renewed. Also wrestling with old lappy this week to stay on long enough to yield more vital information. Also getting ready for the Xanga renew thing. I'm still one of the major investors, so the money transfer for all my stuff will be pretty substantial. Also have tentative internet meetings on the table.

I hate begging off, but since I caved and admitted this was a hard week, I'm going to go ahead and let you guys know THIS WAS A HARD WEEK, YO.


Ok, back to stuff. Part of real life dealing is practicing on our relationships, and aspienado is still working on the honesty without dumping, especially when it's being prompted by some kind of mood swing or anxiety attack. I keep reminding myself I'm withdrawing from a med again, I've got spiky pain levels, and it's the month in my life where I always timewarp like crazy- I CAN DO THIS. THIS IS NOT NEW. All I have to do is just hang on for a bit and let time pass. That's all I have to do. Stick to a tight little routine with my laundry and dishes, keep myself distracted with work and minecraft, keep touching base with my people, and do my stretches. Part of my stretch homework this month includes all the muscles that attach to sternum in the middle of my chest to my shoulders on the front side. The referred pain I've lived with ever since the car accident is hilarious. No matter how documented my history, I cannot walk into any clinic or ER for pain assistance without going through rigorous testing first to rule out a heart attack. I've lost count of the ECHOs and EKGs and even the holters, most of it over this fibro pain, even though I also have legitimate heart history. Fibro is a bitch.


Doing my pec work, lol. I've actually accumulated enough stretch exercise material for my entire body over the last 4 years (first therapy session was August 2012) to fill up a 2 hour workout if I did them all back to back, and that's on top of a 20-30 minute walk. I've tried it a couple of times, there's just no way. I have to alternate days. Plus I have to warm up and increase blood flow to specific areas first before I stretch, totally commanded no cold stretching. There are several ways to warm up, like hot shower, heating pad, actual repetitive movement for a few minutes, but the easiest is just throwing a sweater into a dryer and then putting on the hot sweater. I'm a cheater, lol. But not always. As hard as it is moving around because the fatigue wall and tightness and stuff, I actually like moving around.

Ok, it's 5:30 a.m., I'm dressed, second cup of coffee going, staying focused on the basics of staying functional. Might see Bunny this afternoon, that will give me a target time to have a few things done.

Just focus and survive till the time passes to a different time. We can do this.

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