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Thursday, June 23, 2016

irony deficiency symptoms

I'm getting so lazy about typos. I used to be appalled if I ran into one later and jump up immediately, no matter what the reason I'd have stopped doing everything else (usually pain) for a break, and nowadays I'm so meh, I'll get to it later. And then much later I go oh yeah, I had a typo, but by then I don't remember where and I'm not in the mood to go find it.

Not in the mood...  omg, I'm turning into NORMAL people. I said I was bored earlier this week, and now I'm saying I'm not in the mood.

I'm relying on my obsessive-compulsive everything must be this way or bust behavior to get me through all the things till I'm published. What the what? I'm bored and I'm not in the mood.

Hang on a sec, my body is butting in. *handing mic to left shoulder*

Hi, I'm actually a strip in a bigger muscle group called the trapezius, but I'm the bit that comes from the left side of the neck and anchors to the acromioclavicular joint. I'm probably one of the culprits behind that typical victim giving up style of vernacular (i.e. bored, mood), and I deeply apologize. I know it's not entirely my own fault, as there are plenty of other musculature and bony processes that contribute to this melee of nervous system overload, but I'm definitely a key player this morning. Honestly, I think I could take down Chuck Norris, or at least keep him from killing you. It would feel more like a light tap. Funny story, I

*yanks mic away* Ok, back to stuff. @bonenado just brought me the copy of the official govt form I mailed off yesterday without him seeing it first (I usually make a photocopy and do a practice fill out for him to approve) and showed me where I put month and date instead of month and year, so now I've got to go to the social security office in Springfield and show someone I messed up this paper and see if they'll let me fill out another one there or something.

I'm wondrously intelligent and stupid as a rock sometimes. I can't fill out forms by myself. I can blame it on brain glitching or pain all I want, but blame doesn't get it done right. The stupidest thing I did was think I could do something so 'simple' on my own and totally botched it up. Now I'm a bit peeved with myself, but instead of turning the sourness inward I need to distract again, because my body's already got enough to handle, and kicking myself only makes things worse.

I am Aspienado. I haven't been able to follow directions correctly since kindergarten. I own that this is one of the most outstanding fails in my life. The irony? I was filling out a Disability Update Report. Yes, disability squad, plz to note the cognitive fail. And it's not a blip, it's not an oopsie, it's every. single. time. all. my. life.

Why do they bother even asking about the 3 latest appointments if they don't want the doctor's name and actual date of the appointment? How in the world do they base future need for deeper follow up, oh never mind. The reason they have all these giant bolded instructions is because nearly all of us f*k it up.

lol, Scott and I just had a discussion about how you're watching a rumble about to happen in a show, buncha capes and masks and whatevs, and you notice someone wearing spiked heels and go really? Like they never twist their ankle. Scott said they wait till someone's down and then spike 'em through the eyes. He doesn't question these things. I guess only the cognitively impaired question the logic of superheroes never wearing supportive athletic footwear.

The facepalming is slowly subsiding. My long week is longer, yes, I have to drive further than the plan today, yes, I have to go through security check to sit with a room full of other societal dregs, yes, (I need a t-shirt that states I'm a societal dreg, Dregs would be a cool name for all us underdogs, I think) (we'll rumble in whatever crap shoes we got, yo) (well, my kind of rumble will more like stumbling over a chair trying to get away) ok where was I? I'm a Dreg gonna be all up in that security check, yo. I'm gonna show up and do my thang today, show them again how I screwed up a piece of paper, yo. (Too many yos? I need a dawg somewhere.) I do this what, once a year or so? Totally screw up a form.

I need staff.

The super irony is that this post started out about typos and got interrupted by govt paper typos... I started it because there's a typo one or two posts back and I'm too lazy to go find it. LAZY. omg, ok, now I'm cycling back around to what is happening to me, and my shoulder nodding, and me going oh, yeah.

Ug, I'll hafta take everything out of my epi purse at the social security office. I'll pre-empty most of it in the car. It's small, but amazingly super efficiently packed so I won't have to carry a bigger purse.

If I don't stop this right now my morning is going to spiral way outa control. Cue the vid! I shall get me to minecraft straight away until my body reminds me it needs breakfast, yea verily. And then I'll run out my door again.

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