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Wednesday, June 15, 2016

caution for triggers, but we're in the Monkey World now


Right between the eyes that time.

I was a fool. I made it clear out to 15,739 x 2513 and then got stupid and took on a werewolf with a stone sword. I was over 23,000 blocks from home (my evil lair), I had homed during the night like a good Galaxie Gurl, got bored and went out to chop wood right behind the store, got killed. There is only one /back after getting killed, and that's to your death scene to pick up your stuff. I was upset enough at myself to go out on several killing sprees after that, hence this latest pic, one I'm not proud of but still cracks me up.

My blood pressure is still fantastic, 115/81 this morning. Yesterday was like being energy bombed, I barely even got on moc for 30 minutes, so instead of just laying in bed staring at the ceiling, I pulled out my stash of 12 Monkeys eps I've been hoarding away and started over. By ep 5 both Cole and Goines had been forced to drink some of that weird tea, which back then we didn't have a clue about and was a year and a half ago (I never saw reruns after first viewing), and I also paused a bit in the first ep, I guess Cassie already had an artist's depiction of the Witness in history.

So now I'm getting into the time wiki. All these time travel shows I watch, all these different tenets set for how time 'works' when you mess with it. Continuum was the most intriguing because it allowed for loop backs and line splits at the same time, like a macrame weaving in and out and prime actually getting lost in the shuffle, but a really good show would be able to keep everything prime and incorporate allthethings, because that necessarily demands practically flawless writing and an amazing amount of story board planning. You can't just throw new shows in to fill space.

The real challenge is internal locality- blindly solving the puzzle when the pieces keep leading everyone in self-fulfilling circles. I love both the film and series equally, and I think they've done a great job migrating the characters into a more updated version. I think my fave part is getting to see the development of the 'board room' disagreements, the rogue scientists shouting different theoretical strategies at each other. That is more 'real life' than so many of the time travel shows I've watched. Jones breathes depth into this show like no other character, and to me has become iconic for setting precedents now.

See what happens when I'm not on minecraft?

Ok, need to focus back a bit. Physical therapy today, got paypal rolling for the transfer, trying not to regret all the apps I suddenly installed onto my phone last couple days. Also, brief mention because I'm still in a weird kind of aspienado pre-processing shock phase- came close to losing our Twink (Bunny's mama) yesterday afternoon when she very suddenly blew up anaphylactic after an allergy shot. She's been doing this series of shots for months, so that was really out of the blue. I'm right on the edge of going over that what if cliff, so I'm going to try to steer as far as I can from thinking about anything normal today, just stay super distracted. I'm not in good enough shape emotionally this month to just rebound out, so since I lost my place on the other side of the MoCreatures world, I've gotta come up with a new goal to obsess over.

I don't tell you guys the real stuff most of the time. How about a reveal today? A reason why this is a daily thing for me in a brief recap of something I finally told Kai the other day, and why I bring up 2004 every once in awhile. That was the year my sister very horribly lost her oldest daughter (20) and my mother went into a nursing home (cashed out my 401K to handle my finances while I took off work to become DPoA), and then my own brain crash during a nasty virus hitting my nervous system that I am still recovering from. I spent years underground online late nights with that niece before she died and years after following her little sister (11 in 2004) through a dark underground maze (personal pun) of despair and self harm and a wonderful elaborate creation she called the Monkey World, and then in 2011 nearly lost her to being violently catapulted by a fast moving car in a crosswalk, and by nearly lost I can't even describe how awful that was and how hard it's been hanging on with her feeling suicidal because it was so life changing. Our lives have been turned upside down so many times dealing with the really hard stuff, and that's not even counting all the other people around us having stuff. The stuff doesn't stop in my world.

I just want to make it through June. Well, I want lots more than that, but you know what I mean. This is the time of year I always crack. This was the song that floated me through June in 2012 as I was starting to come back out public.


Guess it's time to update it.


Ok, enough of that. Let's cheer up. Monkey World, people. It's real.

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