-Mobile continuation from Xanga blog PinkyGuerrero, this blog is PinkyGuerrero, ongoing continuation at blogs Pinky & Janika & Basically Clueless & PinkFeldspar, in that order.
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-Personal blog for Janika Banks.
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Sunday, July 5, 2015

Easter Egg

If you remember the old Strong Bad days, then you know what I'm doing. There are four eggs. caution: nothing in this post is meant to be cute or funny


Sometimes a friend tells me not to f#@k something up. And then another friend tells me to sit back and shut up. Sometimes I have a good long think about that kind of stuff. One time I spent 8 years thinking.

I'm a natural born boat rocker, an instinctual pointer outer of incongruity. My tagline for years has been "Forever stepping innocently into the offensive without a thought or a clue."

I. love. lurkers. That is why I will never name names when people do step out of the their shadows and let me know privately they believe in what I'm doing and they've got my back all the way. Readers who don't know what I'm talking about, it's ok to miss the Easter eggs. It's all good.

We all live double lives.



My family and friends quietly watch me publicly socialize with a wide variety of people, everyone from hardcore line in the sand religious and political haters to openly professed hardcore everything else from gays to Satanists. What I'm trying to keep balanced in my public life is that we are all people. We're all figuring out who we are and what we're doing here. Stomping each other flat before we find the ultimate question doesn't fly with me.


I admit I get a little lost sometimes. Who doesn't, right? When I do get lost, I find out who my friends really are. Sometimes I make a big scary decision to open up about something, and in the middle of my private self flagellation a lurker pops out and says Oh by the way, and I melt with relief that someone got it. And they are letting me know they will NEVER tell me not to f#@k up or shut up.


My challenge is seeing all sides. I have a degree saying that I specialize in seeing all sides. I can understand motivations from every angle when I put my mind to it, and I can forgive just about anything once I figure out the motivation.

I'm not the only person on this earth who has seen hell. I'm not alone wondering why people are two-faced and the world doesn't make sense most of the time. What I am, though, is stubborn. I've actually faced up to the idea that something I write could get me in a lot of trouble.

The reason John Watson's life is a mess is because he's unnaturally attracted to danger. His best friend understands that.


I know a lot of my friends aren't ready for that level of intensity. I know I could lose friends. But I also know a lot of lurkers are going to be so glad someone had the guts to say something.

Sorry so cryptic. Apologies to a few who might've noticed I didn't feel particularly patriotic this holiday. If I said one sentence right now that I once had on previous private facebook, I could sit back and watch the internet blow up. But I'm not in the mood to blow up the internet. The only reason I'm writing this at all is because I dragged myself out of the corner again and told myself I was going to slam my face into the monitor if I didn't deal with what's in my head right now.

I believe fans and fandoms are the only thing standing between humanity and hell. As soon as we stop clapping, the heroes die, the darkness descends, and we all go quiet.

I think that what people have difficulty grasping (this is my degree talking) is conditioning. But I'm not here to talk about that.

If everyone on earth is broken, how do we survive? THAT is why I'm here.

"The Cleric is the final line of defense. If the Resistance compromises him, we are doomed." Those of you who actually get this, questions arising might be about Big Brother using the fuzzy lines of political religions to control the masses, but why not make a wild leap and ask Why are they even showing us this? Because if we truly understand doublespeak and conditioning, we are being led into a way of thinking, which completely ignores that the creators of the film and the actors involved are themselves already slaves to this very thing. Why in the world would they show us (in cryptic form, true) what is essentially already reality and then make us think it's a fiction and 'hasn't happened yet'?


The easiest way to keep people asleep is to keep telling them stories. I can't help noticing that the more hero stories there are, and sometimes even the bloodier they are, the more complacent the masses seem to become. As long as we keep opinionating on social media, we aren't out there actually doing anything real.

The most interesting thing I'm seeing across social media is friendships between people who adamantly would never accept different ideologies in their lives because one is able to convince the other that it's all fun and games. We're just playing. And then I'm told not to f#@k it up.

I pray their children never experience the truth.