-Mobile continuation from Xanga blog PinkyGuerrero
-Most of the graphics and vids click to sources.
-Personal blog for Janika Banks.
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Sunday, July 26, 2015

zombie apocalypse, just keep running and don't look back

Trying really hard not to let people drag me down today. Have spent the last week in godawful pain again, last 9 hours have been especially rough (NO. SLEEP.), wanna get on social media for a little light distraction and I'm getting FUCK SUNDAY AND MONDAY stuff in notifications and stupid sex joke comment bombs by someone who doesn't give a crap how that might bother anyone on a family-friendly public feed. Sorta feel like busting bottles over a few heads, and knowing me, I'd think it was funny if I could make 'em bleed.

One quick paragraph to show you my dark side, just real quick. Keep in mind I'm full blown aspergers right now, I've been dealing with ginormous pain again, I've been through alcohol, narcotic, benzo, nicotine, caffeine, and even chocolate withdrawals that all sucked to hell and back and now I'm allergic to nearly everything that treats pain, and I'm still here being a nice person not dragging you guys down whining about how unfair life is. Ok, you ready? Here it comes- Some of you idiots are the biggest babies I've ever seen in my life- you've never lost a child, you've never seen or held a crumpled body bleeding out in a car wreck, you've never had to kill anything to eat, you've never slept in a car because you were homeless, you never had to save your child from a rapey parent, you never had to hold down two jobs and go to college as a single parent, you never spent your last dollar on a few cheap cans of corn and then didn't eat for a week, you never met someone face to face who would actually kill you, much less ~all of the above~, do I even need to go on, and you're ~*~whining~*~. You have no idea the loathing I feel for self pity because I never got pity, thank god. Most people never knew any of the stuff I've gone through until the last three years, hopefully being supportive for people trying to find ways out of the muck. I'm not saying you can't talk about your stuff or ask for help, I'm just saying I can't hang around and enable the frickin whining. I'm not linking this anywhere, so if you happen to see it, remember I'm trying to stay sworn to remaining public instead of going underground again. Y'all go figure your whiny butts out and either be miserable the rest of your life or thankful you've got another day to fix the emotional crap you keep sitting in. (Yes, I raised my kids this way, too.) (Scott keeps telling people I'm meaner than he is, no one ever believes him.)

Meanwhile, my head while I go look for some more interesting distraction.

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