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Monday, December 5, 2016

last of 2016 30 day challenge- Day Six


I got so much stuff done today that I nearly killed Jawn, or at least it started sounding like it. I was clicking download commands and jumping up and running off every couple minutes getting more stuff done around the house. This was pure salvage, trying to recover what I lost when old lappy croaked off, just hours of material that is taking forever to replace. Anyway, kinda reached a critical heat exhaustion point I've never seen Jawn reach before, so I closed up shop and watched HGTTG, and now I'm getting ready to go to bed. Super early morning running out my door, lotta stuff to do.

I am very surprised, briefly booting up to make sure everything is ok, that Pinky blog still got hit more today than Lexxperience did, even with all the big broohaha about Brigadoom, and even though I didn't push the tweet links on a major hashtag day. I'm still not sure whether to find that disturbing. I mostly don't think about it, but I really did expect this to be a much slower Pinky day. Whatever. Day six won't be slow for me in real life, regardless.

I could sit here and go on about how hard things are. I could muse on people who have it harder and how keeping priorities and context are good. But truth is, I don't give a rip how hard it is, and I especially don't care about context that doesn't apply to me. I want to get my stuff DONE so bad I can hardly stand it.

If you knew without a doubt you only had a month to live, what could you get done? I'm not under any kind of prognosis, I'm still in pretty good shape, but seriously. I've been respectfully spending the last few days a bit more reclusive while we work through how we feel about someone else down to his last days. What do you say, what does it mean, what is the point if all the in-between wasn't important enough. How will we spend our own last days.

2016 kinda slipped by me. I calmed down, that's good. My brain is working waaaay better, that's super good. I'm on a good track with doing all the things right. But that's still no guarantee, is it? I've already outlasted a few people I thought were in better shape than I am. When I came back out in 2012, I felt like I was running a race to get my stuff done before I couldn't any more. 2016 has felt like I took a lap off. My sense of urgency has snapped back, and I'm running again, watching a clock, because I don't know when it gets more real and this part is over. I can't afford to wait another 4 years to get my stuff done.

I'm not going to waste 2017.

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