-Mobile continuation from Xanga blog PinkyGuerrero, this blog is PinkyGuerrero, ongoing continuation at blogs Pinky & Janika & Basically Clueless & PinkFeldspar, in that order.
-Most of the graphics and vids click to sources.
-Personal blog for Janika Banks.
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Tuesday, December 27, 2016

Day 27- last of 2016 30 day challenge

This 30-day challenge has actually been challenging. Part of the challenge is to discipline myself back to writing every day, because I kind of lost sight of that discipline over this last year, and then I just plain got lazy. Getting back on track isn't the easiest thing in the world, and it starts with small steps.

Another part of the challenge is to rethink my goals for 2017 while I discipline back to more consistent writing. When I first showed back up in 2012, I had mapped out quarterly and yearly goals and then watched my plan get blown up over and over when my main blog server shut down for awhile and moved (and then recovering my material from what basically looked like a war zone of rubble) and both my daughters getting pregnant at the same time. I managed to keep writing, even though I didn't stay on the main track and finally had to let go of focus on the main goal just to reign in the emotional splat my life was morphing into.

My original Plan wasn't "I want to write a book", not by a long shot. My original plan was to survive soul wrenching depression, a life crash that could unmake me without something I really want to hang onto. The writing is my lifeline between inside my head and the outer world I'm managing to survive in. Without the writing, I will be swallowed up and consumed with rabbit hole distractions and feeling insane, a tiny nut fallen off the machinery that keeps upheaving my life. Basically, I am part of a much bigger support system, and if I want to continue to be useful and good for other very real people, I need to find a way to be useful and good for myself. I don't know any other way to survive this continual onslaught of social pressures, intractable chronic pain, and severe depression.

So I'm starting over. Make it simple. Write something every day. Just do it. Just write. Once I'm back in the habit, I can start turning it toward other blogs again, stuff I've already set up for content that will one day, hopefully, become product- hard copy, kindle, whatever. Dare I hope film...

Several writers of really cool things have openly admitted severe depression and other challenges, my absolute fave icon being J. Michael Straczynski (Babylon 5).

Everyone bleeds. 100+ Sci-Fi/Fantasy Authors reach out to fans on suicide, depression, mental illness for #HoldOnToTheLight

#IfIDieToday 67 of 100+ Sci-Fi/Fantasy Authors share on depression, PTSD, anxiety, suicide for #HoldOnToTheLight

So, basically, this is my mission statement. I'm turning this back into my job. My job is to survive, create positive things that help me do this, and be good for other people while I'm doing this.

Moving forward is about figuring ourselves out. Anyone can start taking steps, but it's better when you get your bearing and know the direction you want to go, then pack a lunch, put stuff in your backpack for in cases or might needs, maybe get a hat or sweater, golden ring or something...