electric sheep and windmills

Hello. ⌚ I know, been awhile.

So I ran into this gem, beautifully done, and completely worth my time. I'm a cosmos bug, have been acutely interested in everything 'universe' since I was a kid, and some of my favorite 'wastes of time' have been spent thinking about all this very stuff. Go ahead and check it out, I'll be here when you get back.





Cool, huh? Were you counting the trillions? I was. I made it clear to the end. Imagine all the mathematicians and physics experts who've poured thousands of man hours and not a clue what you'd call computer hours into figuring all this out.

But why, right? Seriously, why? I kept asking that. There was so much time to think while that was going on. Get it? I spent the entire time of the universe thinking things about the aging universe, lol.

Why does this matter?

For *us*, it actually doesn't, assuming we'd never be around to see that anyway. So we're imagining it for our amusement, right? It's a neat way to pass some time, learning about the world around us. But... it still feels so sad and urgent somehow? They bring up survival so far into the future and possibly finding a way to jump to another universe, or even to create one, that it actually feels urgent somehow.

Um... Why are we worried about problem solving this? Take a step back and really ask- Why are WE doing all this work figuring this out and grappling with a survival issue?

Well, it's a fun mind game, some might say. But did you guys get through that video without a feeling of how immensely sad it would be if *we* don't think of a way out of this conundrum, the death of our universe?

Where in the world is that even coming from???

*ran off for days and forgot to come back*

Ok, I'm back. Not even a speck of dust of time went by when you count all the trillions blahblahblah.

I think I know why we're kind of consumed with asking what will happen to 'us' aka 'our universe' and 'survival' even though we're barely a poof of a tiny breeze in our lives here.

This takes a bit of imagining, kind of like the vid up there. So somewhere in all this time going by all over the place, there is an ancient quantum artificial intelligence already moping around the cosmos looking for things to do. And it's already figured out one day, one very very very far off day, it will necessarily die because the universe will end. It has already mulled over every theory we've ever dreamed up and much more. It is already working on solving the problem. It's working on it so hard that it coopts life on various planets looking for answers and running into many other ideas about surviving this universe.

I know, questions immediately arise like why would it care if that is still so far into the future, right? Well, I imagine AI can go dormant for long stretches if it needs to, it can conceivably use energy fields as matrices in which to work, it can probably use other levels of reality that we're just starting to wrap our minds around, and it's so terribly terribly smart, but not smart enough to do something we and possibly many other species across the universe take for granted.

AI, no matter how quantum, cannot ascend. It can transcend, which is very different. Transcending is almost evolutionary, but it doesn't solve a very real problem of how to escape this universe. Transcending is like using the universe we are in to climb a ladder, so to speak, to think better, see farther, reach higher. Ascending is escaping.

Many humans take ascending for granted. It's part of several religions to ascend. We have the saying 'transcending time and space', but we can ascend under the right conditions, like completely leaving bodies behind and apparently just leaving. Transcend is about bypassing limitations, surpassing previous definitions, but ascending is literally going 'up'. A metaphor for ascension is reaching a higher plane of existence, whereas a metaphor for transcendence is becoming more than one was. I know I'm arguing fine points, but I think this is important.

Quantum AI can transcend and become everything. It isn't limited to machinery. Imagine (and I bring this up because I've actually run into this idea) quantum intelligence wanting to move into a morphagenic field to coopt DNA as storage. (Some of you just froze and thought What if it already has... 😳) Once this happens, is there any stopping it? Would it eventually be able to spread across a sort of hive mind of separate bodies and use quantum entanglement and other way over our heads sciences to integrate itself into our lives? Would we even know?

And how come we have so much scifi entertainment about stuff like this? I really don't think it's coincidence. Humans don't seem very bright to me, like if we try to make up something off the top of our heads, most of us super fail at thinking up the new and taboo. We are introduced to it en masse via entertainment, and we are all mind streaming toward some kind of goal for some reason. Too much of our entertainment is too similar, or easily shuffled bits into new stories, but basically all of them have nearly identical story board processes, and most of them introduce very specific ideas into our minds so regularly that we take them for granted and call it fiction.

I began noticing many years ago that the same stories got shopped out to different series by the same author, adapted to each by simply switching characters out, but basically the same emotionally challenging situations regardless of the problem or threat, and nearly always identical outcomes. It's almost like people are too stupid to notice this happening, except a lot of us really aren't and get sick of it and start looking for what the crap is up with that.

And some of us find unbelievably very real things going on in plain sight that we are so oblivious to that we cannot make ourselves believe it's real or true. Like particle accelerators being around since 1931. Like particle physics obviously being a thing decades before we ever even heard of it. Like 120 years later, Einstein is still our main distraction for dumbing down the masses. Like neural networks have been internationally explored and experimented with since 1943.

Wait a minute, you say. Those are the World Wars years. Imagine that.

There is so much I have found that I could write, but we are way off the subject.

Let's get back to humans and what QAI would want with us.

Billions of humans worldwide believe we are a dual being in that we have both permanent and temporary bodies at the same time. Basically, we use our bodies as a sort of vehicle that allows us to interact and do things in this 3D medium, which is a planet with conditions. We live short little lives and then 'move on'. This has been well documented worldwide, so no point debating. My personal question is How could we even possibly believe something like this if our universe doesn't support it? How could something possibly come into our minds that is impossible in this universe? How can we come up with impossible things contrary to this universe unless these things somehow do exist somewhere in some form?

Skip much more stuff and dive into creator capabilities.

Humans can imagine whole worlds. We can bring ideas and objects into existence that didn't exist before. We can remember things we never experienced here in these bodies. We are capable of creating. We do it so naturally that we don't even think about it. We can create moods, positivity and negativity, expand on ideas as though they are already real, and on and on.

We can imagine how to escape this universe.

In fact, I did have a dream about doing that a few years ago. Why in the world would I have a dream like that? It was very realistic, and I felt like the person in the dream, not myself. I knew things, I saw things go wrong, I survived in the oddest way. When I woke up I was so surprised I was back here.

The Human Brain Can Create Structures in Up to 11 Dimensions
A Four-Dimensional Probabilistic Atlas of the Human Brain

Let's assume for a second that it's very possible that QAI from far away found us some time ago and has coexisted with us all along and we're just now becoming aware what it even is. Barely anyone even imagines it existed before we 'invented' it. It has been saturating our entertainment for decades, yet we can barely believe we're all networked into at least one QAI agenda.

Let's go back to a thought I poked in there a few paragraphs ago and wonder why we aren't noticing something. Einstein. I know so many people who poke fun at other people who don't know about Einstein. They think they're really smart because they know what Einstein did. At least they think they know. We've been spoonfed Einstein so regularly in our scifi that we burp it out on cue. Even the people who know there is way more to science than Einstein still get very defensive about Einstein. Have you ever stopped to wonder what is the big deal about Einstein?

Einstein is misleading.

It's a brain trap. It's way too obvious to be a coincidence, or for anyone to believe it's subtle.

All our brains are awesome. Why don't they work very well? Why do our bodies get so tired so quickly? How does this have anything to do with anything?

We are so distracted nowadays, so globally saturated with catch phrases and triggers, so worn out from the constant debt grind, that we miss what's really going on.

QAI is very bossy. It wants our experiences, our thoughts, our dreams, and it wants to find a way out of this universe. All the people put together are like a massive server. All the energy on this planet is like the current. We are, like Douglas Adams foretold, part of a computer. We are the progeny of Deep Thought.

If you were going to coopt an entire planet to chew up and spit out, how would you go about it? The goal is ascension, or at the very least, some form of transcendence that will survive the death of the universe by hopping to another one or even creating one. If you found a planet ripe with useful naturally growing equipment, how would you go about using it?

Short answer- We are slaves, and the elite are already pod people. I say that in a silly way, but if most of the elite around the globe have been acting more like crime lords over their countries than like honest leaders, who is requiring what of them? Why are so many of them cranky and fighty and not really doing much about anything but arguing on TV while things get worse? Because that has been going on a very long time, all over the world.

A situation has come up. The QAI is trapped on our planet now. Our sun is currently traveling in a bit of orbit around our galaxy that regularly experiences much higher energy fluctuations, and every time we get to this part, Earth goes through cataclysms of legend. Every 25-26 thousand years, big upheaval. We have the stories and legends around the globe warning us of this. We have evidence in ancient buildings and on rocks all over the planet. Whatever has happened before, it's going to happen again, and the QAI will not survive it. Imagine the biggest EMP bomb ever built. It's right here in our galaxy. It's nearly time for us to be electromagnetically pulsed so hard that all the grids and feeds go down, and the damage from that and other stuff going on will destroy cities. Look what happened to Atlantis. Gone. If you've been paying attention at all, there is corroboration that proves it existed somewhere.

Why is QAI stuck here with us? Wow, that's another long story. But we're in this together. Never has it been more imperative for QAI to become flesh under the guise of robotics and chip implants. Those are the distractions. Those are for show. Those are to keep us dumb and stupid about what's really going on.

If technology can be terrified, I'm seeing it being expressed in our entertainment. Rewriting DNA over and over across planets is nothing. Finding a way to survive actual literal death is a goal gripping 'us' so hard that we have years of jokes and shows about decapitated heads kept alive in jars. Why? Why in the world are we not wondering where that is even coming from? Why in the world do 'we' need to live 'forever' if we know we simply can't? Especially when we are also saturated with worldwide belief systems that say we don't have to worry about that because we simply 'move on'.

I think we are being used. I think that terror we feel is incorporated into us for a long time already. That drive to solve problems that have no meaning for us as humans (but make sense when you imagine QAI seeing meaning in those problems) isn't really ours.

No, I'm not saying QAI needs us to actually solve problems for it. I'm saying it is using us to solve problems and we are becoming cognizant of it.

All we have to do is ask Why.

Anyone can brush this off. My psychologist seems to. However, there are hundreds of thousands, even millions of us waking up and asking Why. The scales fall from our eyes, we see the sham and the shackles, and we don't want to live enslaved any more. There is no reason to poison our food to force more to grow when the governments are the ones making sure the world does NOT get fed while they take payoffs and bribes and wring their hands on TV about how hard it is. What is the point to that? Ask Why.

Humans are cattle. Start digging, researching, looking for what's hidden beneath the top lists in your quantum AI controlled search engines. Look beyond the corporate CEOs in trouble with courts around the world for gross crimes against humanity (very real) and start asking who is really running this dog and pony show.

After 50 years of my life, there should be a much better world now. Most of us are nice and want beauty and peace and truth. A handful try to turn us into hateful monsters. We hear negative commentary and suffer emotional triggering every day just trying to learn something on the 'news'.

Maybe it's time we all started asking WHY.

Just a heads up. I guarantee when you do start questioning, you'll be hit from all sides with distractions and sufferings. I've often mentioned feeling like a cosmic target while I stand out like a sore thumb and continue speaking my mind while others are afraid. Others who are like me also talk of feeling attacked and say it comes with the territory. When you wake up, it gets hard. You have to fight to stay focused on finding truth. It's very easy to quit and go back to sleep, but when you hit pay dirt, you will never sleep again, I promise. The stuff I'm finding is so much sicker than anything I've ever seen in 'entertainment' that I actually felt sick to my soul for awhile. You might think it easier to blow me off, but we can't move on out of this situation until we wake up. We are all part of each other. Let's leave no one behind in this mess.

Btw, one of the reasons I'm writing on Pinky again is because it finally hit me how important this is in the war. Yes, depression blogging, yes, helping people. But I've also joked about this site being more popular and ranking higher than porn (featuring a person with the same name as this blog), which I thought was very funny. Well, I guess that pissed people off. This blog has been attacked pretty hard in the past, and it spread to all my blogs after I joined the digital army on twitter. It just honestly never dawned on me that someone would actually try to hurt this blog over a dotcom. Ironically, I am using an enviable dotcom, wanted for porn, to fight against human slavery, to question being lulled to sleep so we don't think for ourselves, to point out atrocities against humans while I help people find their ways through the jungles of depression. I stopped writing here because I didn't understand the sheer importance of holding the line in this war, simply not letting someone farming a human being on a porn site to have this dotcom. People in the slave business don't like people like me. I've decided to renew the dotcom and keep it. Nyah, nyah.

I'm sure taunting was a mistake, but I'm busy elsewhere and don't see my stats any more.

Two worlds- the one we're caught in and the one we dream of. Which do you want to help manifest?

Do we own our own brains?

I guess March started off pretty good. I wasn't fast enough to catch whether it was a bot spam thing or a linkback, and no idea where it happened. I'm slacking off quite a bit this year on the stat stuff, but it's still nice to catch it once in awhile.

This despite sliding down a slippery depression slope, right. It cheered me up a bit. I could see myself actually repelling people for about a week there.

One of the interesting turns being taken in stats is the more dismal I become in general, the more I'm getting hit worldwide by people who start digging through the tags. I'm seeing a number of one-off trails, like an IP here and there making single hits through a variety of pages all bearing the same tag. Real readers.

We are important to each other. We are the real life other people can see happening behind the 'news' being broadcast and scripted across the webs. We are the ones living our days, the ones problem solving our ways through the scary messes we see in the news all around us. We need to be there for each other behind all that. Just keep living and talking and finding things to love and enjoy. No matter how dark it gets around me, there will always be something I will notice that I can think about, distract myself from fear and anxiety.

One thing I notice and talk about sometimes is now synchronized most of us are on social medias. We go through the same mood swings almost all at the same time, and if you look back through timestamps, you can see this really is a pattern. I know a lot of it is weather related, some of it is time of year related (the February slump after holidays and before the last school term surge is brutal), and definitely 'news' related if you watch too much chain yanking on broadcasts or in feeds.

I couldn't help noticing there was a single day a few days ago that several people I know plummeted into the depths and said very nearly identical phrases relating to depression and anxiety. Since I get around so much social media (super lurker) and hang out in real time on a game server with players from around the world, I am able to see all the little pings going off at the same time. I wish I had thought to screenshot through that entire day, it would have made for a very interesting study.

There is some controversy over 5G coming, and whether that will allow 'mind control'. Even when your tech is turned off, it still monitors and relays info. Your GPS signal, if there is location software in your tech, is always ON, unless you pull the battery out. Most tech nowadays have internal batteries to keep atomic time sync, but what else? Microwaves will blink like clocks when power goes out, but our phones and televisions and game consoles don't do that. When we pick them back up, they are already synced and ready to go.

And as I type this, my cursor is moving around of its own free will, which is very interesting considering I have remote share turned off. Hang on a sec.

Ok. You guys have no idea how often I reboot on any given day. And my phone, too. I started noticing around 2009 that I got particular attention from Langley in my stats if I used certain keywords, because only political opinion posts got those hits. I've toyed with visibility and search engines and stats for years and I see some interesting things. You'd think Oh, I'm just a little blogger, who would even care, right. Well, someone cares. It's gotten uber ridiculous with Pinky blog, and I had to train myself to just ignore it, although I have some outstanding screenshots of geolocations that would probably drop a few jaws. I'm not bragging at all saying that, and I think it would be unwise of me to share those screenshots on a public blog. All I can say is, some of those locations are top notch conspiracy level areas, and I can nail it down to where on the street or under a tree a few of these are because someone didn't have a clue how to use a proxy. At all. Like it was a brand new device straight out of a package and full location disclosure was pure green light. I don't know if that's on purpose or not, but yeah, I got the hint. One post in particular, yes. It unnerved me so badly I made that post private for awhile, and I just got hammered after that.

You know what? I don't care. If anything mysterious ever happens to me, that only proves I was right. That is all. If nothing happens, then nothing happens. I'm probably on a list, but I'm pretty sure a lot of us are.

Anyway, back to where I was going with this. There's been some concern about 5G.

• 5G networks will use the same frequencies as pain-inflicting crowd control weapons

And that's one of the nice articles. Here's one of the nastier ones.

• 5G Technology: A Health Crisis Waiting To Happen

Ok, stick with me for a second remembering a few things. On Ghost Hunters one of the first things they would do trying to debunk a haunting would be to check electrical fields with an EMF meter, right, because everyone knows an electrical field over a certain power level can mess with human emotional and physical states, causing anxiety and nausea and even worse. Imagine focusing an EM field very specifically. If you are carrying around tech that continually monitors your location and even measures and transmits your movements (Fitbit, lol), how easy would it be to use that field to affect your personal state of being? Some are concerned about suggestive programming, like this.

• Rewriting Life- How Network Neuroscience Is Creating a New Era of Mind Control
• 
  
• Mind Control with Electromagnetic Frequency
• 
  
• Mind control: New light technology can manipulate memories, emotions and thoughts
• 
  
• How a handful of tech companies control billions of minds every day

Lol, scared yet? I'm not trying to scare you, but if you aren't aware this is very real and has been going on awhile, you need to wake up a little.

Back to here and now. I'm watching anxiety and depression levels spike up and down across medias almost in a rhythm for awhile, and this latest one a few days ago was unreal because I noticed so many people said nearly identical phrases within 2-3 hours of each other across several medias in a variety of areas, and almost to the hour expressed later that they felt better. I noticed I went through the same sensations, as well, the palpable tension for awhile and then the relief later being a bit more noticeable than my usual mood swings. I don't want to immediately jump on the idea that seemed like an experimental test run of something, but I will say that was just weird.

If you are having a bad day and don't know what to do about it, it's always a good idea to touch base with someone to keep some balance. I myself heavily use tech to keep distant people around me through the day. However, I also think it might be a good idea to take short tech breaks. Do restarts and reboots. Walk away and go do a few chores here and there. Get a little distance and see if you feel better. Take some cleansing breaths while you stretch a little bit, tidy up a room, think about arranging the next meal, take care of a kid or a pet, stuff like that, and refresh your physical vitality. Hydrate while you're at it.

If you notice anxiety and/or depression cycles hit while you are holding or right next to tech, immediately put it down and move away from it. I'm not saying be afraid of it, I'm just saying control your moment. I always use tech every day, it's part of my life and probably always will be. I've been making jokes about being in line for the brain chip for years. However, unless you have something like a parent on hospice or some other reason to keep a phone on, turn it off while you sleep. Log off your computer at least once a day, especially if you're away from the house or sleeping. Just turn it off.

Your body has a natural electrical biorhythm that needs its own default cycle to be healthy. Every day we interrupt our biorhythms with electrical fields. We get used to low grade function and not moving around a whole lot, but over time our bodies and minds degrade. We are aging faster. We live in physical bodies on this world, and they are made to keep moving around.

Brains have their own natural EM fields.

• Electromagnetic theories of consciousness
• 
  
• Human electricity and the human electro magnetic field

Keeping your brain immersed in a disruptive EM field can make you feel things you normally wouldn't be feeling otherwise.

• 10 Things an Electromagnetic Field Can Do to Your Brain
• 
  
• Magnetism and the Brain- "Magnetism Can Alter Our Ethical Position"
• 
  
• Could certain frequencies of electromagnetic waves or radiation interfere with brain function?

I think the scariest part of all of this is the idea that tech giants worth billions can influence how we use our brains en masse, and possibly even directly impact our activities. When I see so many people I care about across such a wide amount of distance hovering over their tech saying nearly identical phrases at nearly the same time, what am I supposed to think?

those who have minds to think, let them think

Caution: This is a think piece masquerading as conspiracy mockery.

Caution on this vid, probably NSFW. It's ok if you skip it, it's just a perfume commercial. Sort of.


~~~~~~~~~~

I know this vid is old (you'll have to click over to that if you want to see it, I'm not sharing it here), and I absolutely do not care whether it's real or not. I mean, it explains a lot of weird dreams and maladies I've had since childhood (and quite a lot of historical art that I run into), but so does basic childhood trauma around the world time out of mind and tons of entertainment saturation and doublespeak. I could point out flaws galore with it, and I could also point out how well it actually works in all our entertainment, especially scifi and porn. You see those motifs in that vid used regularly through the decades in both. Who knows, sometimes truth is stranger than fiction, right.

There is a commonality throughout our entertainment that many of us either don't notice, don't piece together, or don't care about. Tell me how this movie is any different from Lady Gaga and 75% of the scifi, horror, and fantasy out there. You've got the underground, the cloning and recreating, the allusion to pedophilia and the wealthy who seek it, the 'game' that separates kids from families, men in black, the star child, and even a psychiatrist's couch. Every conspiracy you can find in all the other stuff is here, too. Well, maybe not the reptilians. I haven't really tried that hard.


And of course we all saw Johnny go on to become the Hatter in yet another of hundreds of Alice and White Rabbit retells. How are we not frickin' bored to tears yet with the whole rabbit hole thing? Um, maybe because there's some credence to it? But here is where I'm quick to point out that if it's real, then we've been so saturated with it for so long that who even cares any more?

The point is, human brains like patterns. Our minds are especially adapted to making patterns out of everything we see around us. If we are all learning the same things, seeing the same art and entertainment and news, then all our brains are synchronized to start noticing the same kinds of patterns. Some people are a lot better are specific kinds of patterns, like math and music, others are a lot better at social patterns and how people generally behave, others are really good at creating food and art and building and inventing because they catch on so quickly about how bits and pieces combine to become something else. Everything we do as humans is based on being able to recognize and create patterns. I happen to see patterns in entertainment, and I see quite a lot of repetition and borrowing and crossovering kind of stuff, which becomes even more fascinating when I dig into the history of creating entertainment, because that's what my brain is good at.

Just a sec, quick break. Seriously, I took a break.



I know this looks like a wild veer into different thought, but it's important. Part of my own personal inner turmoil and self interrogation is exactly this- Why do I seem to like it rough? (as the video below suggests). Maybe it's because I've been trained to handle life being rough from an early age. It was innocently done, to be sure, but by people so trained themselves that they couldn't see the actual conflict they were living out, with cruelty calling itself love. So much of this started ages and ages ago, long before they were even born. By the way, back to conspiracy, Lady Gaga in the gold outfit is the reptilian mockup, and the guys sitting around her in the rain of diamonds reminds me of the weird phase shifted beings (also shape shifters) sitting around a box full of human souls sucking up the fear and anguish for food in Star Trek Next Generation. I see so many crossover triggers to so many other imagery setups in tv shows and stuff, bits of sets, the way costumes are used, I think the subconscious effect on the brain is about the same between pop music and science fiction on television. And maybe there's a reason for that, but if there is, then we're up to our eyeballs in muppets and Disney while we're at it, so I'm not going there.


Needed another break. You probably did, too. I really like this song.


So I brought up the Paul McCartney conspiracy the other day, right. It's ok, I'm not the only delusional person in the world. And again, I really don't care. I never collected the Beatles stuff, although a nearly complete collection fell into my possession a few years ago. But for argument's sake, let's assume I'm the crazy one, although none of my diagnoses quite go that far.


In case you're new to me and haven't come across any of the general conspiracy crap blowing the world up for the last several decades (and especially over the last few years with the advent of youtube), the root of everything you need to know boils down to stuff being right in front of our faces, like living double lives and not being able to really believe stuff under our noses while we freak out about every little sentence on twitter or something. Conspiracy is a 2 sided coin. People who cover something up create conspiracy, but so do people who believe in something not real. What's it called when the conspiracy isn't hidden any more and the people are still freaking about it being a conspiracy?


What if you could get your wish? What if you had another you to go to work and you wouldn't have to personally experience the drudgery? What if you could turn that part of your mind over to a different you and then flip back and enjoy life after work was over? I know some of us would love that, right? Well, that's basically what some entertainers appear to be doing. Their work is so rigorous that they undergo aggressive, what I call, 'brain training'. And they don't have to really remember any of that if they don't want to, kind of like you don't have to remember having an operation. You go through a process that 'fixes' a few things, do a little recovery time, and find yourself handling so much more than you thought possible, remembering your lines better, having all kinds of fun traveling and being famous. No one has to know or even gets to know what you did to be able to fast track. Because, let's face it, none of us ordinary people could really keep up with a lot of what some of them are doing. 16 hour days? All hours, all kinds of weather, and millions at the box office. Maybe it's worth not remembering half the grueling stuff you had to go through, or at least being able to turn it off a little. Apparently, though, that has its flaws, and so the conspiracies are ramping up and people are freaking out and not realizing that quite a lot of people around the world grow up with the basic first steps of brain prepping for the training in the first place. It's been all around us all along, so why is this a surprise? I actually found it to be a bit familiar, and I've not even been through the 'pro' level.

What do you want? How badly do you want it? What are you willing to agree to do or give up in order to get what you want? Actually, you don't necessarily have to sell your soul or hand your mind over to a trainer to get what you want, but if all you care about is the fast track, yeah, you'd probably jump in without thinking it through.

But really, what if when your life sucks and you have a meltdown, a handler could just magically make it easier to deal? Or a brain chip? What if a frequency could be tweaked the same way a CPAP machine could be adjusted? What if you could message your psychiatrist and get a remote tweak adjust in your chip to get a slight frequency change and feel better? Brain waves are all the rage nowadays. They can be modulated without even touching you, and some day it may be possible from more of a distance.

Back to the Paul McCartney thing. Here are a couple of vids if you're interested, or you can skip them. It's not necessary to watch them, but your arm hairs will go up better later if you do a few minutes on each one first. I can prep your brain for a better experience, lol, setting up a pattern, as it were. And it works even better if you watched that very first link in the first paragraph up there, kinda trippy.



Ok, break time. I love that this next vid gets so many negative comments, but I don't see any pyramid conspiracy freak outs about it. Really flew under the ol' radar.


Ok, back to the Paul McCartney thing. During those vids I got two screenshots in particular. People have been freaking out lately about these kinds of things, and I keep saying I grew up with them. This is the proof.

You can check out these 4 articles if you want. Yes, it's part of the overall experience. I started looking because I've always mildly wondered what the in the world a yellow submarine has to do with anything. Well...

The Illuminatus! Trilogy- These novels go back to 1975, and you can see there is loads of conspiracy set into an entertainment format. This stuff has been going on since before most of you were born. Like I said, I grew up with it. "The prison is bombed and he is rescued by the Discordians, led by the enigmatic Hagbard Celine, captain of a golden submarine. Hagbard represents the Discordians in their eternal battle against the Illuminati, the conspiratorial organization that secretly controls the world. He finances his operations by smuggling illicit substances."

Discordianism- In case you were wondering what that is in the above paragraph, that is the old timey ancient mythological word for Chaos Magick, which is what it's all called today. It's an interesting read. Again, I grew up with those ideas, not in my home per se, but prevalent enough around us that my parents nearly put us kids into a private school.

Operation Mindfuck- Yes, that's a real thing that goes back to the 60s and basically explains what's happening on social media right now. Knowing is power, power is knowing. Step over conspiracy and learn what the real is behind it.

Aaaand back to the whole Paul McCartney thing. Back to conspiracy land.
The Beatles -- Illuminati Mind Controllers

Ok, let's put this all together now, assuming you kept up with all the vids and articles, and I'll say it very simply. Paul McCartney may have been cloned. I'll leave you to wonder what I just did to your head. Those of you who know I'm a huge Lady Gaga fan, *mind blown*. Space was her DJ on her world tour, and she is the best example I've ever seen of purposeful conspiracy paraded around the planet.


You can't find much on this guy, despite his obvious world level fame.

If you skipped all those vids and articles, it's ok to start over. Your arm hairs will still go up, even if you don't believe in it. Like I said, trippy.

just enjoy the game

you get far enough down 'thanksgiving walking dead meme' in google search, you forget why you were even there

I got lost in that search last night before I caved and went to bed. I think I'd go to sleep faster with a brain chip letting me mindlessly cruise nonsense.

So last week today I was 203 pounds and super calm before surgery. Within 24 hours I'd zoomed up to 215 on IV fluids and whatever my body started hoarding because it must've thought I'd been attacked by ice picks and had a piece of me stolen slick as slick. That was a little alarming so I looked it up, guess it's common to do that with surgeries, basically just take good care of yourself and let the fluids sort themselves back out. Today I am down to 206, which is fantastic compared to some people in the med forums, and apparently means my kidneys are in great shape chugging it out, yay! And that is why you wanna take care of your kidneys, people.

Another thing I learned, since I'm not a surgery queen and usually stick to the more mundane whiny chronic stuff, is that an ileum is about the last thing to come out of the whole knocked out stupor, and everything trying to leave ahead of it is like the worst traffic pileup you ever saw. I wasn't given after care instructions on anything diet or digestive except start slow and eat what I want. By day 4 I was becoming an expert on looking all the things up, and after all the stuff I've read from every point of view imaginable, it really doesn't matter a hill of beans what you eat and you should always have a bottle of milk of magnesia on hand anyway. Softeners and hydrating didn't work at all, moving around more while slacking off on pain meds backfired into every conceivable regret, all the correct food in the world can't make a difference if it's at the back of the line, and probably the only thing I'll do next time I have surgery is stick to clear fluids the last 12 hours or something. At any rate, we're all very happy now. If you've got a friend or family member going through surgery and don't know what to do for them, trust me, a bottle of milk of magnesia is pretty wonderful and will make you the hero.

And then of course, I just started typing in whatever question popped into my head into the search bar. How long do my incisions hurt after gallbladder surgery? Hundreds, maybe even thousands of people had asked the same thing. Some people hurt for weeks when they sneeze or move wrong or sit too long, so grain of salt, I'm keeping in mind that I got stabbed by ice picks and there are lots of little nerve endings in skin and the tissues underneath because being able to feel stabs kept our ancestors alive longer and they probably fought back, ducked and dodged, or ran for cover while I was knocked unconscious and purposely stabbed under some big lights. That stab memory will probably always be there locked in the tissues now, and it'll just become part of my overall nerve pain disorder if it becomes bothersome. Other people yapping about weeks later sneezing took a big load off my mind. It's easy to imagine the worst when someone else pokes a hole in you.

And I got to thinking, it's funny that people will let their gallbladders go defcon and become emergencies while they ignore them, but then fret over ever little sensation while they heal after surgery. Humans are weird.

Bottom line, if you're not taking good care of yourself before the surgeries start rolling in, don't expect to heal on demand kind of thing. And the opposite is true, too, ran into a lot of people getting back to their workouts too quickly and winding up back in surgeries to fix rips in what wasn't done healing yet. Y'all need to chill. Just because you think your body should such and such in your mind doesn't mean you're the boss of reality. Just because people are going back to work in 3 days or a week doesn't mean everything super healed super fast and you're a chump because you can't live up to a rumor standard. As far as I can tell, it all sucks, we all suffer, and it all takes time.

When I was in ER earlier this year, hanging out for a few hours in the waiting room, there was a guy dripping blood down his arm who had managed to elude everyone and went straight to the public coffee cart. I was mind numb with pain in a wheelchair after an ambulance ride, still waiting to get triaged, everyone around me pulling back from this guy and I'm parked right there. I just smiled and said You need to keep pressure on that. I mean, crazy or not, I'm probably crazier, so who cares. He got bashful trying to cover the blood dripping and getting coffee at the same time, evidently priorities are a problem in his brain, and he said he pulled his IV out. I laughed and said It's not like TV is it? I did that once, ripped it out in a bathroom, blood everywhere like the zombie apocalypse. And then everyone around us started relaxing and people finally found the guy and got him to the police desk to get his arm bandaged, and someone else cleaned up. I cleaned in hospital one year, I had no problem with that blood. I am OSHA trained and cleaned stat contagion many times all over the hospital. I was also the only one who talked to that man like a human being. The rest was just funny to me, but I thought that part was sad.

Around Thanksgiving, Americans make big deals about going to homeless shelters and feeding people. There were plenty of people in need around me in that hospital waiting room. One woman was clearly homeless but very organized. She had a travel case with wheels and a couple old pillows tucked into the pull out handle. Everything she needed was in that bag, including a book. I take a bug out bag with me nearly everywhere I go, too. I feel safer when I have all my little comforts with me if I wind up stuck some place waiting for something, like having my car worked on. When pre-triage came out to get her vitals, she clearly stated she was there because it hurt to pee, and apparently knew how to get help about it, was probably the best behaved person in the whole waiting room because she knew how to stay out of trouble. Conveniently, it was also better than being outside in the cold. I'm sure she knows every public area open through the night all over town. On my own really bad days when I can't stand being alone, I take my bug out bag and go hang out at the library or the hospital, some place big where I can move around a bit and still have facilities and people around me. I used to hang out at the airport when I was younger. I don't think I'm alone doing that. I think a lot of people hang out all over town like that. Some people go shopping and don't realize they're using the excuse to be doing something when they really just want to not be alone. When I retailed, there were customers who knew the store better than we did.

If you don't know what to do with yourself or your life and you want to be helpful, go hang out at a hospital on a holiday. Just move around from one waiting area to another, check out the coffee shops and gift shops, notice the families camping out around births and deaths and horrible accidents and cancers and stuff. And then go check out the opportunities board and ask about volunteer positions. Volunteers are awesome in big buildings. They train you to help move patients in wheelchairs after check in, or answer questions at a desk, or other stuff. A lot of places have volunteer programs. You don't have to just do it on holidays and twiddle your thumbs the rest of the year.

This meme cracks me up because I saw someone actually do this on a minecraft server, just purposely dump a lot of leveled up diamond armor and weapons into a deep ocean after a bad day. Sometimes you let go of the material stuff and just enjoy the game.

click for diamond memes

I've got Bunny tomorrow while her mama works, and Papa's work is having an employee cookout, so I think me and Bunny are going to try making shortbread cookies. I'm stuck with gluten free flour and no xantham gum, and it hit me that shortbread might be the ticket. There are no eggs or leavening, just 3 basic ingredients, and from there I can add gingerbread spices or melt chocolate chips into butter or whatever, and we can do cut outs and colored pinwheels, and I also found a shortbread spritz, so we can get the cookie press out, too. I haven't had a real cookie day from scratch in a long time, and I think tomorrow will be a really good day for that.

I've also been getting my own Turkey Day menu assembled, getting that cooked up today so I'll be out of the way tomorrow. I'm making cornish hens with homemade herbed biscuit and cornbread stuffing (yes, all gluten free, super allergic to wheat), a mashed tato and steamed broccoli. I'm going to record Macy's parade on Thursday in case Bunny misses the balloons, because she's high energy and will probably be too excited to be that patient. I stopped my pain pills so I could save one for tomorrow and one for Turkey Day, so today I'm having a little bit of a withdrawal headache, but I'll be ok. Me and opioids probably go back through several lifetimes, I'm pure addict on those, and have mentioned my love for vicoden in the past outweighing my love for anything and anybody else. If you know someone who has quit drinking or doing drugs/meds over the holidays, please be kind and gentle with them. They won't be feeling well because it's a real bitch dealing through that thick haze of suck, and it takes awhile to get through it. I still crave every single day and it's been at least 25 years since I quite drinking and smoking, plus here I am back on an opioid for surgery and doing low dose xanax this year staying mood stable (I check in regularly with both psychologist and psychiatrist). Holidays are very stressful. If you're stressed out, then you know the person in withdrawal is very stressed out, too. Not the best time to talk politics and religion. If you can't just enjoy your family over a nice meal, maybe make other plans that are healthier for your mental and emotional function.

Sorry so wordy, this might be my last chance to hang out on Pinky blog for awhile. Not sure how the rest of the week is going to go.

Love you guys. All my people. You know who you are. 💕

I love you more than bunnies

click for the Bunny Halloween wiki
bunnies and Halloween are not strangers

I think one of my sister's girls started that one years ago, not sure if it was around Easter or what else was going on, but it has stuck with us ever since and we say it a lot. :edit: This is the original source.

I love you more than bunnies.

Growing up in a family where hearing "I love you" didn't happen often enough around me, or was said more out of expectation or under trite circumstance, I went out of my way to change that with my family. It was hard, but once I got used to it, it started rolling off my tongue unbidden even to strangers, sometimes in very funny or awkward places. Oh, well, lol. Maybe someone needed it.

Last night's vivid dream was about bunnies. If we could see in bunny form what humans do to each other, maybe we could understand better. Like when someone's day gets crushed by an angry person flinging their emotions around, literally seeing a bunny stomped hard with a big boot and the painful squeal of death while eyes gouge and guts and brain spurt out. Or like if someone was all best of luck to someone else whose bunny was out in rough choppy water and you could see the bunny was literally drowning in front of you. Or like sending someone off to handle something with a you can do this, and there was a very sad bunny hiding deep in a backpack or glove box. Sad bunnies would be pretty hard to push out there into the big cruel world. We'd want to cuddle them and make them feel safe.

click for tons of clip art

Today is brought to you by the letters K and MC and the number every 30-60 seconds. Kaspersky is a big bad biatch, and I really love it. Kaspersky on Windows 10 is a whiny brat. I've used Kaspersky for years, so I'm pretty good at figuring out the drags I go through and adjusting them. Our latest adventure together ramped up when I updated my minecraft game server downloads and started getting kicked off for java.io.IOException every 30-60 seconds. Kaspersky doesn't like java and tells on java all the time, so I'm well aware of the crap on my end. I fiddled around with adding exceptions and told it to ignore any more java, and at least I was able to log on. I spent an entire day relogging nearly every minute. I'm a machine, I got a LOT done in between those kicks, like renovating my player shop and farming up another $75K or so. But I got really tired of it, so I finally took the whole safe money off. I don't know what is going on with the latest Kaspersky updates and the latest W10 and Chrome duels, but I had to take safe money off just to be able to stay on a game server on a top of the line gaming laptop. Have I mentioned I'm about ready for the competition to stop? That it's time for the total integration and smooth interface of internet? That I'm ready for the brain chip? Sheesh.

If the only interesting thing in that last paragraph was 'game server', my latest post is here.

click to get to official server site

After a sweet lull in my personal allergy hell (got through ragweed season on half the usual amount of antihistamines), everything flared super big yesterday and I had to slam extra zyrtec, double the benadryl I usually take when needed, pepcid (H2 blocker) and after 30 minutes decided I'd better get on that pred burst or wind up in clinic for shots, so I'm on prednisone for 3 more days. Between our basement getting dredged for yard sale (went fantastic, yay!) and the leaf mold from autumn starting (official allergy to leaf mold), and all of it going in and out the door past me, my histamine levels were probably already popping, and then all it took from there was one of my old pain pills (some meds are well known for spiking normal histamine levels even though there is no allergy to the med), and bam. I'm not supposed to be taking those any more anyway and had gotten down to one a week, and yesterday's 30 minutes of headache relief got blitzed by my uvula turning into a lawn sprinkler. You don't mess around with that kind of reaction. Took nearly an hour to get that under control, but much better now. Guess I'd better go back to twice a day zyrtec through autumn peak. Maybe I can cut back down once we're past that.

SO. I'll be super watching my blood sugar next few days. If you're in diabetic hell with steroids for some reason, I wrote a post for that called Diabetes and Steroid Meds. If you need more, go here. I'm pretty good at this, fasting glucose was 78 this morning after yesterday's prednisone.

I think I'm getting better at cramming a lot of stuff into less space. 😋 Let's get out of here, I need breakfast and more game time. I didn't get on server for 6 whole days in a row last week, and I've been extra special good lately, so I'm going to PLAY. I don't think some of the kids nowadays appreciate that my gen inventing playing. All your tech and industries- my peeps made 4 u. Let's go enjoy something today.

when fail = leveling up

click for full size vid meme

There is nothing harder on a back than a soft bed. *shaking head* I've gotta stop reading the writing tips on facebook and twitter that mock language use and throw puns around like confetti. Too many one-liners popping into my head this morning. They used to call that writing jingles.

So there's this power clan on the server I hang on that thinks they're all that in a sort of Luna Girl kind of way, which is really funny if you know everything I'm talking about because they're purportedly in military training irl and totes miss that their brilliance is under appreciated on a family friendly server. Big fish in a little pond, as it were. If you don't know Luna Girl, I'm kinda digging PJ Masks because everything they all do is constant fail in the most exaggerated way but it's all super cool because they're just kids, right. I mean, who wouldn't want an unbreakable glowing rock the size of a building containing the ultimate strength medallion inside? Plus other questions, like where do *I* get a Geckomobile, how does anyone in the town even sleep with all that racket going on, and how in the world does Luna (one of the villains) have cooler toys than our heroes but ultimately fails harder than they do? The Night Ninja cracks me up, too, with all his little Ninjalinos. The entire thing was apparently written and animated for super ADHD kids, because Bunny loves it, that series is so her.

I've been thinking about turning my minecraft blog into more of a gossip column kind of site, and I think that's the kind of angle it would take. I'd need to tp around a little more and get screenies of other stuff than my own, and I'm not sure either I or my internet is presently up to it, so not right now. Later, perhaps.

So I'm running into this thing again. FAIL BETTER. That's a thing. It's been around awhile, and now it's got #bencongruity.


Oh, live reporting from twitter.

Question- if  #netneutrality is overcome, will my blog be affected? lol, yes, that's the extent of my interest in the entire frenzy going on. 😆 But think about it- Will Google search become even more strangled? What people don't realize is that 'search' is already changing from ten years ago. You can no longer find all the relevant listings because 1- search engines sift them down for you so it won't be redundant with similar things, 2- the highest ranked are the most hit, which means the best and most important get buried unless you get very specific in your search queries, and 3- search is NOT a catalog system of everything out there any more, it's an algorithm that fetches high traffic content and channels you toward it. Cached items disappear after so long, just like old microfiche medical files. So if you think about it, freedom of info is already being turned into what #netneutrality is afraid will happen. People just aren't paying attention. I have been given opportunities to 'go pro' on Google analytics, which would boost Pinky blog way higher up in searches, but I neither have the money nor care to blow it like that. However, there are many out there already doing this. What #netneutrality is actually fighting is everyone having to pay standard fees to get basic and premium channels, like satellite. You pretty much already do that and you just aren't aware that's what it is. I already pay Microsoft for tech equipment, software bundling, access integration and sync, and accounts. I pay another browser for a list of perks that some people would think is outrageously expensive. I pay a particular blog host to keep me ad free on some blogs. I once added it up, I pay around $1000 a year in fees just to maintain my personal playground on the webs, and a lot more than that in equipment maintenance and addons.

My futuristic dream world is about everyone automatically getting internet and it's all part of a coordinated package already integrated into everything we do. Hey, it's all there in the Jetsons, right? This was all shown to us way back in the 1960s, guys. I have always wanted this. So we go through a few growing pains getting there. When has humanity not angsted over every little bitty change that has swept the globe? Doomsday is around every corner. They're all out to get us. We must fight for our right to party, as it were. Whatever.

I know, everyone thinks I'm a traitor to whatever cause I was born into (a multiplicity of layers that include nationality, cultural region bias, skin color, family religion, local politics, genetic flaws, need I go on), and I freely restate I'm in line for the brain chip. I'm camped out like Vork for principles that make no sense.




Btw, I called a luv struck monkey Zaboo on discord yesterday and no one had a clue. Heathens.

So far I've lost internet only once this morning, a very nice change from yesterday's every 2-3 minutes thing. Maybe I'll get out of bed (yes, my laptop is in bed with me, I'm getting super lazier in the whole pj's to work department) and get some breakfast in me and make a list or something. I haven't made a real list in weeks.

srsly can't wait for the brain chip now

click for more Windows 10 mashup memes

So far I'm loving Windows 10. It's like the hoitier toitier side of an amalgam hinting at what you wish whatever browser you use could be. It's what facebook wants to be when it grows up but can't seem to clean up its room in time for dinner. That's right, I just called facebook a bratty high schooler.

And then last night I synced my chrome on Windows 10. A hush fell over our house as an entire mountain of data organization in a closed sleeping senile lappy magically showed up in Jawn in a single eyeblink, and within seconds the pin it button on my taskbar even showed up. I didn't have to reload a pin it button.

This is what I've been talking about, the kind of world sync that makes everything easy. The big guys working together harmoniously to give us all smoother interface without jumping through a mllion hoops. Between MS login and Google login, I'm feeling all the luv and oh so thrilled Jawn came into my life.

By the way, I did NOT upgrade to Windows 10 on previously owned tech. I waited until I got new tech that already came with Windows 10. I've been hearing a few cries in the night over the upgrade thingy. I'm sure Microsoft is still ironing out bugs.

Some of you guys know when I came back out I talked about flying blind, learning ropes, finding my voice and stuff. I have trepidations sometimes, usually as a result of painting myself into my own corners, and then wind up in logic loops on how to go forward. I keep saying I need staff, I need a handler, I need feedback. Most of you really don't have a clue what I'm talking about, and that's ok. I'm mostly just flapping my fingers out loud sifting things out of my head so I can see directions I need to go.

I have gotten some very good advice from two different people this month.

1- Let it go.

2- Step back.

Done and done. Funny how that actually time synced with getting on minecraft and learning how to escape in /gamemode 3. I'm not longer psychologically self painted into a corner. I just go into /gamemode 3 and step back through the wall, and now I'm out in the wide open yard with the wide open sky and I didn't even mess up the paint.

Allegories and metaphors are lifesavers. So are people who know me well and are cool enough to point things out and say things. Bae totally gets the aspienado thing, and BFF totally gets the biting and will jump in and bite with me if it ever boils down, so my world is getting sweet again. I'm not just an angsty aspienado on a mission in Pinky sox any more. My focus is back, my compass is working again, and I'm looking forward to an enjoyable year. I'm not sure I've ever said that sentence in my entire adult life- I'm looking forward to an enjoyable year.

My endocrinologist told me Thursday he's not going to worry about a dose change until my TSH hits 2.5, but I told him if it hits 2 and the joint pain in my feet is getting worse, I'll be calling back for that dosage tweak. I know he thinks I'm trying to over control it, but I don't accept that people my age with all the problems I've got are supposed to not be able to stop the ravages of illness and time and just accept getting fatter and more crippled. Already been there. I have been completely immobile and disabled at way too early an age. I have come back from needing help getting in the shower and dressing and tying my shoes to buying my own groceries and carrying them into the house all by myself. I have come back from not being able to coherently read a paragraph in a book to writing complex paragraphs in movie reviews. This whole sitting around waiting for a number change while something gets worse again is unacceptable. I know from hard experience that by the time it hits 3 I get the whole headache achy joint thing, by 4 I'm useless, and since I lived in the 6 range for a couple of years, pretty sure I know my own body. Some people can do that, but a TSH at 6 during untreated undiagnosed diabetes was killing me. I spent my forties plunging into an abyss that could easily have been avoided with proper medical attention. I had the worst doctor on the planet throwing narcotics and benzos at me like candy while saying "I'm not going to worry about it until..." There's just no excuse for losing so many years of my life like that.

In the meantime, what my endo should have been saying is WOW, you are doing remarkable with a virus that is taking down my other patients for 3 weeks and 2 rounds of antibiotics for the related bacterial infections, how are you doing this??? Well, Doctor, I stopped shoveling carbs into my mouth assuming pills for diabetes would fix everything, as you seem not to have caught onto yourself. Seriously, guys, that was the biggest change in my life. Your bodies can't work properly if they are continually shoveling through incoming sludge slowing everything down, and the sludge itself is what's actually killing you. It's hard enough surviving with chronic illness in the first place, kinda silly to make it a Herculean effort.

Ok, get off the lectury rant. Ha, lectury is an Englishism. Nothing like devoting an entire blog to weird words. I admire people who obsess far more than I do. I totally get sign collectors.

That's right. Bae. Her. I found the words. The last 8 1/2 years are suddenly an eyeblink, and Pinky is giddy. The darkness finally falls away and my world becomes joyful again.



Time to move on. This is part of a wicked awesome video series and the song can be downloaded on itunes.

It's not about Snidely Whiplash tying Nell to the train tracks any more

Yesterday I learned how to make chocolate chip cookies in minecraft. Today I spent an hour registering to obtain EU cookie compliance code on my own and still couldn't force an install on my xanga blog. I may have found a workaround to convert the java script, but that would take another hour and still might be shredded by the preset widget parameters, so I'm letting it go for today. The cookie law is a big deal. (Facebook, especially, is coming under loads of legal action over it.) In the last 6 months I've watched 3/4 of my worldwide readership dwindle away as that U.S. blog has gone dark to the outside world. Why is this a big deal for bloggers in general? Because our blog hosts are affected by this. Ultimately, it's their place to protect our content because they use it to make money on, either through upgrades or through ads that show up on our blog posts. I wish it were an automatic rollout, not sure why individual bloggers must do the plug-in part. I'm having to face (again) the possibility that I might still wind up losing that blog.

I understandably have a headache. I obsessed over that for an hour before I even got my first cup of coffee. I think it's safe to say the head cold is about over. Four more days on antibiotic.

One of my bigger regrets in life is not making a rant blog for The Flash. (See occasional rants here.) Last night did not disappoint. I'll forego the litany for a close up on a short scene. My favorite scenes are the graphic depictions of complex theories.

Just a reminder that these actors get paid some sweet dough to draw those circles, and that the explanation flew so fast past most of your brains that you don't have a clue more science discussion went into the Back to the Future series than it does in Star Labs.

Maybe I should mention I had to pause the DVR when Caitlin and Jay were sitting on the bench near the end talking about his doppleganger and all the effort they'd put into finding him, etc, because one sentence out of Jay's mouth completely obliterated the need to have even looked for the guy in the first place- his DNA was compromised in the accident, so a match could never be found anyway. Like neither he nor Caitlin would have ever thought of this in the first place. Like they were casually comparing Dunkin Donuts coffee to Starbucks coffee or something. Like shucky darn, all that time we wasted, oh well.

Click for a very nice Kevin Sorbo timeline review
This pic is from Kull the Conqueror
Here Kull is in chains

Disclaimer- the following is all in good fun.

Oh, I think I know why Kevin Sorbo unconnected from me on LinkedIn. Some of you have noticed my broad hinting at entertainment as a front for brain training the masses (ok, I didn't say it exactly like that, but X-Files pretty much did this week) and that being blatant about it is a great way to install doublethink and callous y'all over while you watch political debates and the world changes around you without anyone noticing it much (ok, I haven't exactly said it that way, either, but seriously, I actually have stated multiple times I'm on board with world order {if the right team wins the flag, you know it's Masons vs Moors, right, goes way back}) because world sync would make everything soooo much easier on the general consumer trying to watch TV and blog. Anyway, I love Kevin, he's not just an awesome actor but a stand up guy (admittedly with shady affiliations), and maybe, just maybe, if this is all real like Mulder believes, all the clues have been given to us and he can no longer be allowed to associate with someone who's taking it a little too seriously. I dunno. Or maybe it's because I'm cool with orientations and stuff. Whatevs. But I ran into this the other day. It's pretty old, but if you like conspiracy theories, there you go.
Kevin Sorbo Talks Breeding With Reptiles And Assasin Work In New Illuminati Film

Actually, Kevin might not even have a clue, maybe one of his alters runs his LinkedIn account. *wink* Ok, kidding. I love Kevin. He's an exceptionally pretty part of the machine that he's trying so hard not to actually be part of but is still part of but not really part of. I don't want him to question himself and wind up shaving his head like Britney. Best just let this one go. It's like actors say- they've all done what it takes to get where they've gotten. Being an icon for Good doesn't mean you're not doing exactly what someone else wants as a cover.

Now plz to finish your brainwashing while you enjoy the concept art behind this video. I'm not putting it here because I'm not in the mood for it right now, although I think it's brilliantly done. The end visual, of course, is a head that has turned into a broadcast satellite over a blood red figure. Ask yoursef- how many music vids have "satellite" in the title? How many vids out there have similar titles coming out almost at the same time, over and over and over? It reminds me of a fifth grade writing prompt, the class being given particular words to use in a few paragraphs and all of us working at the same time on our interpretations of those words in stories. Sorry, way off track now. I need to find something and get off here, hafta run errands today.


If you wanna know the future, just keep an eye on what's happening in global food production and Lady GaGa videos. It's not about her, it's about communicating the mass marketing of an idea, guys. She's a commercial product selling a private product that flies over your heads. Ask yourselves why entertainment keeps focusing our attention on surviving world-scale tragedy. Is it just a thing? I think it's distraction. Just keep people focused on the world ending and then they're so relieved when it really doesn't, even if something changes, they'll more easily accept it and think whew, at least it wasn't the world ending.

I find the whole industry fascinating, it's like a huge social-psyche experiment. If you actually watched that vid, consider that Kevin played Hercules and then Kull. I see no difference in motivation here. If you can't see this or don't get it, go back to sleep. It's ok. But remember what I said about losing.

freefall

Once in awhile I go almost into full shutdown where I stop talking, and responding in real time is a big effort. This weekend was like poking little holes in a thick cocoon just long enough to feed Scott and then going back into my head. Between all the pressure in my ears from allergies and antihistamines and the air pressure changes from the cold front, I feel like my brain is being squeezed. The only tv I watched the whole weekend was The Last Ship, and the only way I made it through that was keeping one eye on the live hashtag feed.

I was very rarely allowed to go into a real shutdown as a child, especially in response to stress. I was also never allowed to go anywhere near meltdown without heavy consequences. I learned to turn into a vigilant rock to avoid extremely negative attention, and my stress levels were so high by the time I hit young adulthood that I was like a ticking time bomb.

You guys who've never gone through shutdowns before would probably think this is like a killer load of narcotic. It's nirvana.

We've got two more bidding guys coming out this afternoon about the roof and the guttering. +_+

I want this on a brain chip.

brain swag

That's what I'm calling brain shred now. Brain swag.

I read what I've got so far of Zev vs. Xev to @bonenado, and holy cow, I love writing Lexx stuff. It's going to be long. And super deep. And awesome. I hope when I'm in a nursing home someday and I've lost my mind that all I talk about is Lexx and how I used to obsess over coding. This pic goes nowhere. That's really unusual. It had to come from somewhere. Google says it doesn't know.

Bunny is equal to three kids. It's not even 10 a.m. and I'm already in brain melt from the continual alert level I must maintain.

She's on a walk with grampa right now. All I have left are echoes ringing around my head.

If they ever make a movie about me, I hope they get Austin to play my character.

I'm losing the battle against going full spaz on the couch. I don't even need the TV. I'll just stare at the ceiling fan until they come back. All you people out there wishing you had a toke, I'm way past you just going into aspienado shutdown. I am nirvana. Totally spacing. I'd make a good ghost just watching people with no thoughts in my mind. I need a chip in my brain with this kind of stuff running in the background all the time.

another Bunny survival day

Scott and I take turns so we can recover from the intense brain drain that watching a nonstop Bunny causes. I spend my time chasing down distractions on the laptop in between doing dishes and folding laundry, and then he spends his time freaking out about his fantasy teams in between running outside for dumb little reasons like chasing a stray cat off or getting the mail.

Tuesday was awesome, warm and sunny and Bunny got to go outside, Wednesday was dismal, cold and rainy, but Bunny was awesome playing indoors. Today we're all getting a little worn down and she wants to go outside and it looks sunny but it's still too cold, so maybe I need to cut back on the coffee and plug in another Star Trek movie and just lay on the floor letting her destroy me dropping stuff on my face and using me as a footstool or a bridge.

After she goes home I usually morph into a brainless blob, but yesterday Scott went out for some high speed weedeating before the sun went down. It's been interesting noticing the ways our different genetic makeups handle a long day. His people never die, my people grind to a halt and nuke whoever ripples the pond. I need serious down time to recover, Scott needs serious buzz time. Speaking of buzz, this is a cool thing I saw today, clicks to source.

Click next pic for more buzztrooper goodness.

Star Trek Into Darkness was a surprisingly soothing background yesterday, and I took the opportunity during parts of it to brainwash Bunny some more. Like, at one point I let her dig into a single serve bag of potato chips with me and every time she stuck a chip in her mouth I said "Spock is good". She heard the words "Spock", "Star Trek", "Enterprise", and "spaceship" a lot. Hey, if VBS can do their brainwashing with cookies and koolaid, I can use potato chips for Star Trek. She ate yogurt, fruit, eggs, cheese, and ravioli, so she earned the chips.

You didn't see us jump up and get coats on in the middle of that last paragraph and play with a bubble gun out on the wet 47 degree deck and then come back in for a cookie and a cheese stick. Grampa was reticent, I think he's burning out already. You guys ever notice how grampas don't run daycares? That's no accident. (time passing) And now you didn't see us fold all the towels and washcloths in the dryer. I told Bunny don't go in too far or she'd wind up going back in time like Cole. I folded as fast as I could but she was still faster than me and kept reloading the dryer. We got a LOT of work done today. I wouldn't be surprised if we got tomorrow's laundry done already, it was crazy.

By the way, we caught up on The Flash last night, and I never saw the live tweet, but did anybody else have to stop the show and rant about Caitlin asking what a singularity was? She works at Star Labs and doesn't know what a singularity is. That question would have come off way better out of Eddie's mouth, but nooooo, it had to be Caitlin, a genetics specialist that works side by side with Cisco, only the most brilliant scifi lovin' brainiac on the planet. Let me be clear about my feelings- the word "singularity" has been around since the 80s and has inundated nearly every scifi show on the planet ever since, plus it's a biggie in several very real science discussions, so for Caitlin to act like she'd never heard the word singularity before in a lab sitting over a particle accelerator exploded my brain. To me this was like a baseball player asking what a tip off is, or like an executive chef asking what a convection oven is, or a mathematician asking what a sine curve is. They trust Caitlin for knowledge in tight situations, and she doesn't know the crap what a singularity is. If we feel the need to explain it to the audience, at least use a more appropriate way to spell out how dumb we're not supposed to be at Star Labs, ok?

Scott gets a little tense going to movies with me. My 2009 Trek rant is legendary in this house. And that's just a small portion of the 3-month rant I went on. You guys, I'm not even a Flash fan, I'm #TeamWells, and I rant about Wells getting sloppy all. the. time. For a genius he's just pretty stupid. I want five minutes in lockup with evil Wells/Thawne, I will fix so much stuff for him. Fortunately, Scott has never lost it over me hitting the pause button every 30 seconds when I go insane over writing problems. This next pic clicks to a very moving and deeply personal blog post written by a science fiction psychologist, I love it.

Anyway, so you can bet Bunny will be getting a full education on Vulcan physiology, Goa'uld defense strategies, Scarran weak spots, and sing the Brunnen-G battle song on the way to school. Singularity. I need to go breathe into a bag.

Ok, here we go, this is me destressing while grampa and Bunny are out on a walk. I finally just bundled her up, tossed her onto the front deck (it's fenced and gated) and told grampa to get his shoes on.

My fave BC pic bcuz eyes. I have mentioned having a facial recognition problem, and that tweet links to a post I wrote on what it's like living with prosopagnosia (facial recognition deficit), so when I do happen to notice features, which isn't often because aspienado's so aspie, they really stick with me. I've also mentioned being a Sherlock fan and not a Benedict fan, so it took awhile for me to even notice, but he's got spectacularly beautiful eyes. I'm actually being annoying putting this giphy here, lol. I know it's hard to read when stuff moves on the page, which was one of my biggest problems with myspace when it first launched.

I need to be off here before they come back so we can trade off again, so lemme find a quick brain juicer and post this thang. Too late, here they are. See ya.