-Mobile continuation from Xanga blog PinkyGuerrero
-Most of the graphics and vids click to sources.
-Personal blog for Janika Banks.
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Monday, October 13, 2014

I kinda like being a mess, actually

Just got in from such a beautiful drive across the countryside, all kinds of autumn blustering around with dark clouds scudding over, grass is still green so the leaves are really showing up. Didn't get a single picture because I'm too glitchy today to handle juggling that kind of driving, but I did get this when I stopped.

I'm not sure where they come from, but crows migrate in by the hundreds and settle in the woods around here until spring comes. More info here if you are interested in crows. My chickens are very nervous around them, and rightly so if they come in ravenous in a big enough group.

So yeah, glitchy day, my dentist's receptionist let me know I was a week early, go figure, but I thought why not just pop into Walmart instead while I'm over that way, right? Really didn't need much and I'm not into browsing, but burrito got a couple of cute outfits and I picked up a giant roaster chicken to put into the pot today and get started for soup tomorrow. There is nothing cozier on a day like this than something yummy simmering in a pot. Oh, and I got more apples. Can't go wrong with more apples.

The rest of the day has been designated 'recovery', have got a pain level going and if I'm brain failing that badly on appointment dates then I need to let go of flailing against it and get a nap or something. I don't do cold weather fronts very well. I turn into a wind up toy that bumps around into things and nothing makes much sense. Why am I sitting there yapping about it? It's a focus exercise I've learned to do when everything in my head feels weird and all the dots are disconnected. I used to do this on my private blog for years, just start writing, doesn't matter about what (I'm way less negative than I used to be, lol), and let my brain pick up the rhythm of punctuation and whatever, read back and see how many typos. I'd sometimes get tons of typos that would take me several readings over several days to catch, still run into a few in older posts when the brain fog was much worse all the time.

I imagine artists do this with colors or patterns, or athletes do this with workouts, even on an off day you still do your thing but in a different way letting it sort itself out. That's what I do with words. They come out my hands and go back into my eyes and create a sort of flow that can organize my glitchy brain into a more unified whole instead of feeling like scattered mess.

Music helps, too. Going to put that chicken on now.


  1. Burritos can never have too many cute outfits :D

    Love the falling leaves too! Coldish rainy day here so kinda trapped in the lab which is making me cranky. (though really, who could tell?) Go forth and be awesomely weird my friend!