-Mobile continuation from Xanga blog PinkyGuerrero
-Most of the graphics and vids click to sources.
-Personal blog for Janika Banks.
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Wednesday, March 9, 2016

getting my bearings again

As of this second, my least read post here on Pinky blog has 7 views, and my most read post has 439. My third most read has 394. An average day is 30-40, a good day is like 60-80, and a really good day hits around 120 per post as they publish, but I think most of that is because I've networked linking them. *seenotebelow

That most read post was originally hashtagged on twitter like most of my higher viewed posts. The third most read was not. It was originally an easter egg post, never linked, and once it was found it exploded on its own, and continues to do so. In fact, since they both contain subtext about the same thing, they both keep showing up in stats almost nonstop, even after all this time.

I'm not upset any more, at least not with anyone but myself. That's the hardest part to get over, being upset with myself, more for what feels like time being wasted than anything, but I'm far too pragmatic to think it was truly wasted. Everything that goes into my brain becomes part of a far bigger learning experience that never lags, never stagnates. Even crawling like a worm back up a mountain, I'm moving faster than someone sitting still not climbing at all.

My dishes and laundry are done. I've already put content out on two blogs this morning. My blood sugar and blood pressure are on track. My money is on track. My biggest emotional hurdles are finally behind me. I'm thinking more clearly than I have in years. Every year I'm physically more functional that I was the year before. I'm sleeping better than I used to.

The initial goal was to explode out of the starting gate. Part of exploding is preparing for it. I'm still not yet loaded into that starting gate. I'm still in warm up and not yet equipped for pre-parade. I'm looking around at how organized I've kept things so far, how set up I am for the next part of the climb, mapping out the next whole life strategy before I begin another part of execution. Briefly freezing over the thought that this is usually where something epic happens, like a neighbor or family member suddenly having a crisis, reminding myself that it's all good, this is just part of how I roll. I don't wall myself off in a little office and drum my fingers over writers block, like I see so many people talk about overcoming, or how to overcome. Writing about writers block is so hilarious to me. I don't even know what that is. I write on the run. My biggest grind job is transcribing.

All my life I have seen other people as being in my way and learning how to not just navigate around them but incorporate them into my life as a welcome respite from myself. I've been working very hard on this, but I think I'm coming to a conclusion that it's not that necessary to be that present. I like being oblivious, it frees up loads of thinking space. In spite of the mess I feel I've been in, I'm also feeling so relieved now that I'm no longer in it.

I made a bet with @bonenado that I could reach 100,000 views by my next Pinky blog anniversary. That means I've got 5 1/2 months to double the number I'm currently at. I was very surprised to even hit 25,000, never dreamed in my life I'd ever do that. I've also still got plans on hold for SyfyDesigns, a couple of other blogs, the Lexxperience stuff that it looks like I'm totally dropping the ball on (I know, I suck, my apologies), plus ye olde booke. Spending the last 10 months breaking through emotional and physical walls into new territory will, I think, enhance everything I'm hoping to get done soon.

I do have easter egg posts sprinkled all over Pinky blog, untagged, unlinked. This is one of them. I guess we'll see what happens this year.

*note- Remember, these view counts are only for Pinky blog. There's a post on my original Lexx blog that had over 10,000 views before Xanga moved to new servers. Also remember that was done without any help whatsoever from a content curator or friends helping me spread links. Time to stop being distracted and hit that mark again.

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