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-Personal blog for Janika Banks.
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Tuesday, October 18, 2016

I am the troll hiding under your bed


It's going to take daaaays to wash all this glue out. I think I'm going to just tell people I crashed through a wall in a haunted house or something. First pic is the very beginning of the marking and gluing electrodes in place, second pic is after a vigorous shower. The bigger flakes feel like paper, the smaller bits are like grains of dirt, and my comb is too gunked up to get all clean. I left my phone charger up there, so since I have to run back for it anyway, I'm going to stop and buy a new comb and brush to use after this junk is all out of my hair. And food, I'm still really lame on getting actual food. But they said I slept well enough to get loads of good data on me, yay!

Spent a little time cleaning up my brand email account. It was kind of a joke that I even used my original email to open stuff back up because I barely look at it once a month, but it's sending spam to my daily email account now, so I guess I'd better pay attention. Unsubbed from countless places I've been getting junk from for years. A little perturbed that a 'grassfire' site doesn't have an account delete button. They even moved to a new host and migrated my account instead of just killing it being so dormant for years, and it was easy to get back into, so security is obviously wretched. Anyway, if anyone gets weird spam from me for any reason, now that uber sync all our accounts and load up our address books with contacts is a thing, apologies.

A convo popped up on another person's blog about trolls, which kinda brings up real time real life again. I've never tagged trolls on this blog, have gone out of my way explaining why I don't name and shame, and I even closed the Pond of Death. But maybe it's time we revisit defining trolls, because most people assume trolling is about unrelenting attacks, but there are other kinds, too. In fact, some trolls don't even realize they're trolls, and when I attempt to politely spell it out and privately ask someone to stop, it can sometimes take months for it to actually stop, and it usually means the end of the friendship for the person trolling because it hurts their feelings, or they pop back up a year later and it's worse, etc. My latest troll, who none of you know a thing about, has been going on for a few months and I'm a bit worn out, but as with every challenge, I'm learning more about myself as I go through this again. So I'm going to make a little list that I hope I can follow, as I've actually been professionally instructed in the past.

  • Don't respond.
  • Don't respond.
  • Don't respond.
  • Don't respond.
  • Don't respond.
  • Don't respond.

I have been responding to questions, to interesting suppositions, to general pokes, to penitence, even to fake flattery because I know it's bait but I want to say "Hey, this is bait", right?

  • Don't respond.

It will be hard.

My suggestion to people who desperately need to tag and be heard- BLOG. Stop using individuals in private tagging as sounding boards, stop using other people's comment fields as sounding boards, stop using social media as sounding boards. If what you have to say is so important that you'll spend an actual hour writing it all out, it needs to be archived in a real place where all YOUR thoughts go.

You wouldn't believe all the people who tell me "But that's hard" or "But that's work". Um, yeah, so is writing all that stuff you keep writing to me, hours and hours and miles and miles of words, which are distracting me from actually working, so it's imperative that I get back to ignoring.

What I do on social media is my down time. Live tweeting, sharing on facebook- that stuff is me unwinding, mostly. That is me very lightly touching base with the world while I see what's going on out there. If I wanted to write reams of thought in discussion, believe me, it would be on a blog somewhere. Blogger and I are currently debating about exactly which post the last couple of days is or might be my 800th just on this blog because some of them are still in draft and I don't know if it's counting those. Yes, I know exactly how much work a whole fleet of blogs is and sharing my thoughts with the whole world. Yes, it's work.

I could easily be writing long posts about politics and religion. Why am I not? People certainly seem interested in my point of view when it starts coming out. Well, I feel like the internet is so inundated with thoughts and opinions about politics and religion that it would only blight my content to go there. I didn't come back out public to add my voice to politics and religion. I am back out to be a real person with a real life doing real things. Feeling dragged back into private convos about stuff I'm trying to avoid doing is feeling really stupid to me, and I can explain it till I'm blue and it'll never be heard by people who only want to pontificate and speculate.

Today's real stuff- I'm going to run around in public with a head full of glue that looks like the leprosy of dandruff, cook some real food, and get busy on a review I volunteered to do (I was asked and I'm extremely flattered). I set up an amazon review page yesterday and did a little test review on a Sherlock book, and it's all ready to go for more now.

You guys go do real stuff, too. Send out Halloween ecards to family and friends or something. Run this playlist while you look through those to get you in the mood.

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