Header snip originally from giphy, added onto to by other enthusiastic fans, and then I took it through memedad.
-Mobile continuation from Xanga blog PinkyGuerrero
-Most of the graphics and vids click to sources.
-Personal blog for Janika Banks.
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Thursday, October 27, 2016

i'z


Hitting the twitter hard again. Have vowed to get my following list down under a thousand. Still finding restaurants and CEOs and weird stuff I don't understand at all scattered and buried all over the list. I'm using two different outside twitter apps and still manually sifting through, incredible how many truly unfocused accounts there are out there. I mean, real people are fine, but if I don't have an interest in your thang and you don't EVER interact with me, I don't see my continued following as a necessary ingredient in our lives. If someone wants to keep following me, fine. I lost count of how many lists I'm on ages ago, and who knows how many private lists, plus I'm sure a few undergrounds keep me on mobile alert because I see the links trigger immediately as soon as they tweet, so someone doesn't actually have to be following me to keep track of what I'm doing. Same back at them. I've been sifting several strong interests down into their own private lists.

I feel a major shift coming on, feel like I'm getting ready for it. I'm trimming back contact with a number of people (nothing personal, I'm just overwhelmed), I've got holidays about to slam over me (srsly, feel like I'm laying on a track waiting for a really fast train to zoom right over the top of me), I'm trying really hard to keep up with juggling my stuff and trying even harder not to kick myself over the things I'm dropping (some fail feels are inevitable, I'm a detail oriented workaholic trapped in a spoonie body governed by an aspie brain), and ultimately, point blank, @bonenado has started worrying about me, so I'm feeling challenged to present how well I can hold myself together.

I have come forward with an incredible amount of reveal over the last year and half, and I kind of feel like I'm stopping to catch my breath before the next big plunge into where all this is going. Sharing this journey on Pinky blog has been a strenuous effort, and don't believe for one second that I have any idea what I'm doing or that I have ever felt at all comfortable (much less confident) being so very public. This is important. I tell myself that every single day. Getting a story told isn't an easy thing sometimes. Pinky blog is my float device, that much is clear.

I cannot get this song out of my head. I guess this is my birthday theme this year and marks a place in my head that I'm not quite sure I can see yet. There is apparently a trigger word that sends me plowing through internet searches, and for some reason several childhood memories have begun springing up like jack-in-the-boxes. What I'm finding isn't very soothing, but there's a key turning in another door leading into a room I had sealed off for a very long time...

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