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Thursday, December 10, 2015

violent culture smashing and zombie protection, ho ho ho

#coffee +_+


So this happened yesterday.


My first thought was thank goodness it wasn't in my house so I didn't hafta clean it up.

I don't mind nonchalantly tossing a jar around to explode spectacularly all over the chips and shoot glass shards at little kids (calm down, no one was hurt), but I do mind every face in a 20 foot radius focused on me describing the exact very long title of a snobby sounding jar of spaghetti sauce.

It was awkward. It happened right at the register, and in front of everyone around me I had call out over all the noise to make sure the associate who volunteered to go get another one knew it was Bertolli Organic olive oil, basil, and garlic, because no, I can't be just any ol' person and grab a jar of sauce, I hafta scour the shelf and find one without 'natural flavors' since that could mean a citrus-based acidic being used as a flavor boost, common with tomato products, salad dressings, BBQ sauces, meat rubs, etc. Citrus isn't legally required to be labeled as an allergen, you see. So here I am, the snob in the Walmart line with my hot pink Nikes perfectly matching my hot pink novelty tee and my cute little special order pink purse with little animal clips hanging from it reminding everyone around me it has to be organic, and the associate couldn't even pronounce Bertolli and had probably never eaten such highfalutin sauce in her life. Yes, that's actually a real word. Highfalutin. She was sweet, though, had us all laughing, so thank goodness no one was glowering and hating on me for getting the line shut down for cleanup.

Needless to say, I made homemade meatballs from scratch and we had a very nice supper.

And then this happened last night. Clicks out to the tweet if you feel the need to pop those pix open there and check out that cool crossbow.


That's right.


So that takes care of the teaser gift I was going to put out this weekend, I guess. Twink and Bunny will walk in and say, "Hey, where's ours?" haha


Ok, need to get my head on, where's my jam.


I'm actually more in a Dave Pratt & the Sex Machine mood, but they don't have Red Christmas on the list, so I'm listening to Pizza and Beer instead. Yes, at 3:30 in the morning. I've got the original album, maybe one of these days I'll load a couple things up that I can't find online anywhere.

Have a great day, guys.

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