-Mobile continuation from Xanga blog PinkyGuerrero
-Most of the graphics and vids click to sources.
-Personal blog for Janika Banks.
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Friday, August 14, 2015

depression, suicide, and Pinky's revenge

Sometimes I bury a post without tags and never cross post or link it anywhere. This one above is over 4 months old and currently has only 6 views on it, at least 3 of them were probably me on my phone checking for typos and listening to the video while I moved around the house with my phone in my pocket. I wasn't sure whether I wanted to share some stuff yet. That's all it is, a few words and a video, but you can click the pic to go there if you feel the need to.

I'm still not very good at seeing how I write actually communicates into other minds. Yesterday I discovered an error of thought transmission that had me facepalming like crazy, since the error may have been what catapulted that post into the all time most viewed ever for months. Since I don't encourage comments (#aspienado) and I've never gotten feedback on it (I love lurkers), I'm afraid I might have left a wrong impression. I was grind-writing through a particularly glitchy day, forcing my brain to focus, and going back now, it looks like something really different from what I was trying to say.

I'm not a suicidal person. Here is why. Yes, I have been living with fairly severe depression for many years, and yes, I've had some frightening experiences with it. Someone in my family committed suicide years ago, and although I did think about it myself one year, I logically deduced it wouldn't relieve any pain or anguish, whether physical, mental, emotional, or spiritual. I think my argument is solid and valid, and so I have stuck it out all this time.

Depression Awareness (facebook)
Anxiety and Depression Association of America

Some of my own posts on depression-

this day in history (also at a day in the life for better mobile)
Spoonie raising children, missing major life events, the Two Coreys and addiction.
They say life sucks and then you die. Well, I want my life to suck as long as possible.

lost in space
About as honest as it gets, plus a realistic survival plan, includes links to TheBloggess and Anne Wheaton's blogs.

Doctor Who tackling big pharma and fake happiness.

Maizy- How to Save a Life
Hotline numbers, and the most popular youtube I ever uploaded.

awake when I'm asleep
Surviving loss of function and death of a loved one.

behind the curtains
Hotline numbers, not believing the lies, deciding who I want to be.

The Girl Who Lived
Living with a depressed/suicidal person.

Winning the Suck Contest
Recognizing what our depression does to other people.

I'll Never Be the Same
Being honest with our families and friends, and never cold turkey off meds.

Circus Baby
Cute burrito videos, plus I know how hard it is, I'm with you guys.
"It’s important that you keep tweeting, keep blogging, keep sharing, keep talking. Please keep talking. If you feel you don’t have someone to talk to and you need help NOW- Crisis Call CenterInternational Suicide Hotlines,International Sexual Assault Resources."

And the most viewed depression-suicide post I've ever written-
Synchronicity, Suicide, and The Eyes
Why are we even here?

Here is the vid I had on that post I buried.

And this is the video behind Pinky coming back public.
"Even tied up, you are a problem for me. What is your name?"

I'm not going down without a fight.

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