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-Personal blog for Janika Banks.
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Wednesday, August 12, 2015

the #bencongruity of lambs, lollipops, and goth spaceships (pre-coffee)

Kinda facepalming over my Ben booty post rocketing into the top 5 in 5 days flat. I feel like a pimp. But my spaceship post nearly wiping out everything else makes me feel better, so I'm ok with naked Ben popping my eyes out every time the stats open up. It's 4 a.m., haven't had coffee yet, that sounds suspiciously porny. I'll let it off with a #Bencongruity warning. That's my new thing. (Never do a general search for 'goth spaceships', btw. +_+)


We're sweating it this week. Scott's boss called a meeting for next week and here we are right on the brink of asking a bank for a roof loan. We're crossing our fingers it's not a sale announcement now, since we've been teetering on that brink for going on two years. We're staying calm on the outside in an inner monologue what if  kind of way, keeping our freaking out to ourselves so we don't have a double meltdown of freaking out and then me killing people. Metaphorically. Thank goodness #SnarkFF is starting back up for distraction. Yeah, I dropped to 5th place. @bonenado thinks I should let go of the Manning brothers. My mental struggle over this conflict of interests keeps my mind off other things.


Hey, we found the video camera!  photo 14hoppy.gif Well, Scott's mom found it buried in a closet at her house. It got left behind at Christmas and she put stuff away and Scott's brain slowly ate holes in itself trying to find it until he was nearly convinced Alzheimer's R Us now.

I was musing on my book title being not very unique since 'existential' seems to naturally come up in aspie/autie discussions anyway (which I wasn't aware of when I chose the title several years ago), but I ran into this gem on a hilariously inappropriate forum thread. I love it.

Q:DO AUTISTIC PEOPLE EVER EXPERIENCE EXISTENTIAL CRISES?

A:The eccentricity is a coping mechanism for the never ending existential terror they experience. You would think trains are bitchin' too if everything else in life was a spiraling black pit of meaninglessness.

I mean, perzackly. THAT. Because this has been my fave Calvin and Hobbes strip for over two decades.


My problem is the nonbeing part. Too many people assume we might feel relief upon release from this life, and my argument put very simply is that we cannot feel relief if we are not there to feel it. These and many other quandaries will be showing up in a book ridiculously overflowing with shocking personal experiences. I say shocking... Some of you will be dizzy by the end between feeling sick and embracing the warm fuzzy world hug.

Speaking of horrors, who knew that prehistoric Americans used ragweed ceremonially and medicinally??? O_O The pic clicks to more ragweed info.


So, existential incongruity. Oh, I'm going there, skipping gaily as a lamb through a slaughterhouse.

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